The Yin Yang Twins
by Sir-Shun
Summary: Naruto may have been alone in his early childhood, but He isn't alone when he enters the academy. What difference can one boy make? A whole lot! Featuring a powerful Naruto and a motivated Shikamaru, and that's only in the first chapters! Rated T for language and maybe violence. Ch 15 is up: In which Shikamaru starts trouble, for once.
1. Academy Graduation

**The Yin Yang Twins**

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Disclaimer: Naruto and its universe \ canon are property of Kishimoto... And whoever owns Kishimoto I guess. The rest, meaning most of the ideas and what you're about to read, is mine. Enjoy.

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 **1\. Genin Days: Academy Graduation**

 ** _In which Naruto learns a whole lot of things he already knew_**

There was a blond kid walking in the middle of the streets of Konoha. Now, blonds weren't actually a rare thing in the Fire Country, in fact, there was are renowned clan of blonds in the Hidden Leaf. The thing was, this blonde wasn't a Yamanaka, and if you weren't a blonde from the Yamanaka clan, then you could only be this one kid – Uzumaki Naruto, the most hated brat in the village. This kid was expertly ignoring the negative vibe around him. On the contrary, he openly smiled at the people glaring at him, which only worsened their mood and improved his. By the time the crowd had figured it out and chose to ignore him instead, he had arrived at his destination – the Konoha Academy.

"This is going to be a great day!" Naruto told himself. And what a day this would be! This was the day of the Genin examination. He had failed two times already, but this time, he had a gut feeling the Konoha forehead protector would finally be his. He couldn't contain his excitement – he would be a shinobi, a real, genuine, ass kicking, princess saving, badass shinobi.

There's just no way things could go wrong!

The first clue Naruto had that things might actually go wrong came with the arrival of Iruka-sensei, their class instructor. Their teacher was explaining the details of the Genin test, but no one was really listening. Instead, all eyes were on the girl right next to Iruka. With hazel eyes that bordered on green, and a braid on the left side of her oval face, she left a somewhat novel impression, but the consensus was she had no business being here, so Naruto was a bit worried when he realized he knew her somehow.

Naruto, being hated by pretty much everyone, knew very little of the children his age. Orphaned, he never hung out around people much, and the orphanage... well, the less remembered about that hellhole, the better. So that, along with his short attention span, made it that he only 'knew' the people of his class – and even then only the people that stuck out. There was the class clown Kiba, his dog Akamaru, the sloth Shikamaru, the chips eating Choji, the creepy guy wearing shades and a trench coat named Shino, Hinata, who for some reason couldn't keep a single conversation with him, Sasuke, the all-around prick and genius of the class, Sakura and Ino, his staunchest fangirls and Aya and her gang of bullies. Further thoughts about the newcomer were interrupted by Iruka-sensei's change of subject.

"Today, we have someone who will be taking the Genin test with you. While it is uncommon, it's not extraordinary. A few clans don't send their kids at the shinobi Academy at all."He turned to face his temporary charge."Why don't introduce yourself?"

And so she did. Her name was Kurama Yakumo, and from her poise, you could tell she was from a clan. All in all, the boys seemed to like her, while most girls were trying to somehow protect their Sasuke from her. Naruto was too focused on the excitement of finally being a fucking shinobi to pay mind to the class dynamics. However, as somewhat of an attention freak, he noticed that everyone was looking at him, including the new girl. Naruto really wished for a mirror.

He looked back at them with a hint of suspicion "What the hell are you all looking at? Is there something in my face?" He then snapped his fingers. "I see. You finally noticed that I look way cooler then Sasuke-teme! Well it's about—" A sudden pain between the eyes interrupted his monologue. The blonde let out a yelp and furiously rubbed his head while the rest of his peers laughed.

He waited for the pain to dull a bit before glaring at his sensei. "What the hell was that for, Iruka-sensei?"

"Stop daydreaming." His teacher chided, playing casually with another piece of chalk. He then returned to his new charge.

Naruto tuned out his teacher and focused on his examination and future as a Shinobi of Konoha... for about thirty seconds, then started to plan his Final Prank. There was no way he would be able to get away with property damage – or any kind of damage – after he became a ninja, so he decided to out with a bang. As he pondered on the more intricate details of his art, a telltale grin appeared. He made mental calculations, pondered on the logistics, covered his bases... He wasn't even done and Naruto was sure that this prank would go down in history, and judging by the way most of his classmates paled and shuddered, they thought the same as well.

His dastardly plot was nearly plotted to perfection when he was distracted by a, "Good luck, Uzumaki-kun." The blond nearly fell out of his chair. There was only two, maybe three people willing to say such nice words to him, and the only girl in that group always called him 'Naruto-kun'. That left the new girl and looking at her he could see that she was smiling – at him! It was so wrong on so many levels that even the children near them were giving the two of them funny looks. By the time Naruto's mind rebooted the written test had already started, so he focused on the paper on his desk instead, muttering about his luck while he made up for his late start – With his luck, he might actually pass this time.

All in all, the Genin exam went about as well as he expected to. He had managed to pass everything, only to fail to make the Clones Iruka-sensei had asked. That hadn't surprised him much. Mizuki taking his defense, and wanting him to pass, that needed some thought. And that's why Naruto was sitting on a swing looking somber, while most kids were being congratulated by their parents.

Again, the new girl tried to interact with him, but thankfully this time her clan members stopped her. Besides her, Kiba, Choji, Shikamaru and Hinata all came to cheer him up. Well, Kiba was trying to get himself punched in the face, but Naruto guessed that was his way of cheering people.

He got off his swing once he thought he had sulked long enough and headed for Ichiraku's Ramen. Maybe Iruka-sensei would try to cheer him up with a bowl or five. That would make things easy. Instead, he walked into Mizuki again. One thing led to another and now he was tasked with the mission of stealing the Forbidden Scroll of Seals. Once upon a time, Naruto would have jumped at the idea of showing his expertise and learning a cool jutsu at the same time. He still liked the idea of sneaking into the Hokage's office. In many ways, it was a legitimate test of skills, and the blond was itching to see how good he really was.

His choice almost made for him, Naruto went home to prepare instead of paying a visit to his favorite ramen stand. In his room, Naruto planned for everything and set out to enter the Hokage's office. A couple of minutes later and Naruto wondered if this whole sneaking in stuff wasn't becoming too easy. Where were jiji's elite guard, the ANBU? As good as he thought he was, Naruto couldn't help but think that if someone like him could infiltrate the Hokage's most secure building without a sweat, that could only one thing. He was becoming too awesome for his own good. Or that the ANBU really sucked, but that couldn't be right, so it had to be the former. He unlocked the door to Jiji's main office and found the scroll on the side, under a glass panel.

"Naruto, what are you doing here?"

Finally, a challenge, and not a small one either – the fucking Hokage himself. It was the perfect opportunity for Naruto's new jutsu.

"Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Technique)!"

And just like that, the match ended. Naruto was proud of his new technique, but kind of wished Jiji hadn't fallen for such a perverted trick. What did it tell you when the strongest shinobi of Konoha was unconscious and bleeding from his nose because of naked lady? With a sigh, Naruto sat on a couch a waited. Sure enough, the Sandaime came to and blinked when he saw Naruto.

"Naruto, what did you do?"

"Nothing yet, besides proving once and for all that you are a pervert." The Hokage had the good grace to blush. "I just figured there was something wrong with the test and wanted to run something by you."

"What test, Naruto?"

"You know, the one where I have to learn a Jutsu from the Forbidden Scroll of Seals?"

The look on his face was enough to know that the test never existed. Well shit.

"Before you ask, this was all Mizuki-teme's idea." The Hokage raised an eyebrow. Naruto was suddenly very nervous."I think, I'll explain from the beginning. See, I failed to make the Clone Jutsu to pass the Genin examination."

Sarutobi nodded once. Apparently he already knew of the examination results. So when Naruto made the handsigns, he was satisfied to see Jiji's pipe fall from his mouth when the room filled with his doubles.

"That's amazing Naruto! But then why did you fail the test on purpose?"

Naruto rubbed his head. "Because I can't make less than what you see here."And there was a good chunk of clones in the room–about fifty, give or take. How they all fit in the Hokage's office was a puzzle in itself. "The teachers keep asking for three. I wasn't sure I'd pass, so I thought I'd wait till after the exam and show it to Iruka-sensei, you know?"

The Hokage shook his head sadly before returning to clones that were starting to vanish. "So why are you able to make so many clones, but not just two or three?"

"Well you see, at the beginning my clones always looked sickly and sort of died after a few seconds. And then Choji said maybe I should focus on making just one clone, but that was even worse! So then Shikamaru said that if three was bad and one was worse, maybe I should try to do a lot more. I told him he was stupid, and then we kinda fought, and in the end my twenty clones still looked sickly but a lot better, so in the end I had to make two hundred clones for the jutsu to work properly."

"And now you only need fifty," added, the old man, finishing Naruto's thought. "Well done, Naruto."

Naruto beamed. "Anyway, I was going to find sensei, but then Mizuki-teme said I could still pass. All I had to do was steal the Forbidden Scroll of Seals and learn a jutsu in it and give it to him." He then looked eagerly at the Hokage. "Hey, can I still learn a forbidden jutsu?"

"I think not. You get into quite enough of mischief without the use of kinjutsu." The old man ignored Naruto's pout and smoked his pipe. "However, I do think that, reviewing the events of today, someone just earned themselves their Konoha headband."

Naruto's smile lit up the whole office that night.

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The next day, Naruto entered the academy classroom like it was Christmas. Now that he was a registered shinobi, the next part was as crucial to his future as the Genin exam. He was referring of course, to the team assignments. Would his teammates help him reach his full potential, or would they get him killed? With his luck, he was banking on the latter. Good thing he hadn't left anything up to luck.

"Team Seven will be Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke." A loud crash interrupted Iruka's announcement. Startled, everyone turned to see the resident prankster breathing loudly, and if the desk split neatly in front of him wasn't a clear sign that he was not happy with the results, one had but look at his face – there was a storm brewing behind his eyes.

He raised his hand in rebuttal but only air came out of his mouth. Naruto shook his head and let out a snort. "You know what? Screw this! I'm going home." And to put weight on his words, he walked out of the room.

The others must have been surprised... or not, it's not like they knew him anyway. He was just so pissed. More than that he felt betrayed. Once again he had been let down by the village. Once again the rules didn't apply to him. Naruto was used to unfairness. He had grown being hated by almost everyone – receiving the short end of the stick was something he had learned to expect from his neighborhood, from his landlord, and even from the academy. He had hoped that once he became a shinobi things would be different. Apparently it wasn't too be. Even Iruka-sensei was bending the rules when it came to the demon brat. Oh well, a lot had changed – he wasn't that naive six year old kid anymore, and his goals had matured along the way. In fact this would make his future plans easier to achieve. Maybe he should just quit.

"Naruto!"

The blond scoffed. It was the first time Iruka-sensei came to his house, and coincidentally, it was at the only time Naruto didn't want to see him. "Must've spent all my luck yesterday," he muttered has he went to door. He was only proven right when behind his sensei, he could see the Sandaime as well.

"Jiji, what are you doing here? No matter, come in." Once one inside, they settled in the kitchen. He offered them some instant ramen, which they politely refused. Naruto shrugged and prepared his own.

"So," he said between slurps, "why are you here?"

"Because you can't just quit! What happened to the loudmouth blond that wouldn't stop until he became Hokage?"

Naruto paused. "He realized that becoming Hokage was really hard when the whole fucking village hates you." Naruto knew he had won the argument when his sensei started spluttering, but he wasn't done yet. "Also, I didn't quit, or else I would've left my headband on your desk."

Iruka blinked. It seemed he failed to notice that little detail. "But I thought..." he then groaned and slapped his forehead.

Meanwhile Naruto turned solemnly to the Hokage. "Why are you here, Jiji? Do you want to convince me to remain a shinobi as well? Well I didn't quit, so there."

The old man looked at Naruto for a long time, like he was assessing someone he was unfamiliar with. And it was about damn time, too. He felt bad enough that Iruka-sensei hadn't found out until now, but for the man he had known the longest to not have seen the signs, it had hurt. Maybe they weren't as close as he thought.

Finally, he spoke. "No, Naruto-kun. I was going to talk to you sooner or later about this, but I guess what happened today only hurried the matter. I'm going tell you why the village treats you the way they do."

Well shit. He was only looking for that very answer for most of his life. It's not like he hid it as well, and now he was going to tell him? "I'm listening."

And so, the Hokage told him what really happened on the tenth of October, all these years ago. When he was done, Naruto sat there, hands on his knees, as if to brace himself. He seemed in deep reflection. "So the legendary Nine Tails is currently sealed in my gut. I guess that's why people keep calling me 'demon' behind my back." There was a sharp intake of breath as well as a rise in killer intent. Naruto ignored both. "So, like, _everyone_ in Konoha knew except me? Feels like a bad joke – a very bad one." Needless to say, the kid was angry. He grasped his visibly shaking knuckles together. "So why couldn't have I known about this?"

"This information is top secret, Naruto. Even if most people know about it, they are forbidden to tell anyone – even their children."

Naruto mentally noted, quite bitterly at that, this didn't prevent the children from disliking him. Or their parents from outright hating and mistreating the blond. Or the shinobi, that should have known better, of doing the same. In other words, whatever reason they never told him, it didn't do shit but have him wonder for the longest time what the hell was wrong with him. At one point he had even thought the villagers were right, that he was a lost cause.

This did nothing to calm him down, and both adults exchanged a glance. Finally Iruka spoke. "Naruto, are you OK?"

He blinked. "Ok...? Seriously, do I fucking look 'Ok', to you? None of the things you're saying are making sense!" He really wanted to yell, to break things, or to punch someone. But the Hokage was here, and now wasn't the time to get on his bad side. "OK, _pretend_ that I don't get it. Not telling anyone did jackshit for me. So why hide the secret in the first place?"

Sarutobi looked serious and Naruto tensed in response. "There is a name for people with your predicament, Naruto – Jinchuriki. As Jinchuriki, you have the potential to use the Kyubi's power and make it yours. In other words, a super shinobi." He liked the sound of that. He didn't like the name, nor the scorn that came with it. "The other villages would love to get their hands on you, especially since you're not trained yet. At best, they would brainwash you and turn your against Konoha. At worst, they would kill you and take the Biju for themselves."

Naruto was pale at the end of the explanation. And Jiji might have been nice about it, too. You could never truly know with shinobi. So it wasn't to protect him from the people of Konoha, but from the external threats that they hadn't told him. "That's not good enough, you could have explained it to me. I can keep a secret, you know?"

"Perhaps, but you were – are still a child. I didn't want your life to revolve around that thing in your gut. "

Naruto wondered if the Hokage had really thought about that. To him, being upset at the village because they were stupid sure as hell beat being upset because the village hated you for the sin of _existing_.

Instead he asked, "So what, you want me to become a shinobi so I can protect the Kyubi?"

"I want you to become a shinobi so you can protect _yourself_. You should know by now that I care more about your than about the Biju."

Naruto looked chastised and pleased at the same time. He might still be angry with the man, but he was still his Jiji.

After a pause, Iruka rejoined the conversation."Naruto, could you tell us why you stormed off like that?"

And, there was that anger again. "Why am I teamed up with Uchiha and Haruno?" he countered.

"Well, it's for balancing issues, usually, the student with the lowest grades is paired with the two graduates with the highest marks, in order to help the..." Iruka paused before changing the line of conversation. "You know, I could have told you this if you hadn't made a scene earlier. Why were you so angry, Naruto?"

Naruto shrugged. If they didn't want to be honest with him he had ample reason to do the same. He turned to the Hokage, with the question he wanted answered the most. "What about my parents? Is it like the Kyubi thing? I'm not supposed to know about it yet, to protect me or something?"

There was something like a frown on the Sandaime's face that quickly went away, but in the end he nodded. "When you promote to Chunin, I will tell you."

Chunin? How long did it take to become Chunin? He hoped it wasn't another three years because he'd probably die from an aneurysm before then. "Fine. You'd better get your answers ready, because I'll be the fastest promoted Chunin ever, you know!"

The two visitors took it as their cue to leave. Still, he had one parting shot as they all left his apartment building.

"I'll see you around Iruka-sensei, Hokage-sama."

Once again, Jiji's reaction was almost unnoticeable, but Naruto knew the jab had found its target. After all, just because Naruto was glad to know the people that cared for him still cared for him, didn't mean he wasn't beyond pissed because of what they'd done. As for Iruka, he looked forward to seeing him tomorrow. For now though he needed to calm down, so he headed towards his favorite place in Konoha – the Hokage monument. When he got there someone was waiting for him. Oh great he knew he had it coming, but he had thought it would wait till tomorrow.

"Not. A. Word." He muttered vainly. All he got in return was a scoff.

"You quit being a shinobi? Seriously? How did you think that would work? No wait, you weren't exactly thinking were you? What part of 'keep lying low until you become proper shinobi' didn't you understand?"

Naruto groaned. "I didn't quit damn it!," he wanted to add more, but then he saw the barely concealed smirk "Asshole."

"As far as I'm concerned, your pranks suck, so we're even."

Naruto bristled. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that. I'll have you know that my pranks are awesome. End of discussion."

His friend rolled his eyes, Naruto twitched, but let it go. "So we both know you didn't quit, even though you wanted to. I also know that you got the worst luck I have ever seen. Did you have to be all dramatic about it?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I was pissed, OK? I really wanted us to be on the same team, you know? They at least needed to know I wasn't going to take their bullshit anymore. And seriously, it's like Jiji only noticed now about the change now. I mean, I changed my fucking clothes and almost no one noticed."

And he had, gone was the garish orange jumpsuit, it had been burned, and replaced with white shinobi trousers, an orange shirt, and a white sleveless jacket , with the Uzumaki symbol on the back. Much more awesome if you asked him. His friend didn't have his refined tastes, but he forgave him, because he had his own ways of being awesome. For him it was clothes and sheer manliness, for the other boy... Eh, he was still looking.

And speaking of his friend...

Naruto gave him a narrow look. "And don't think I don't know you were as pissed as I was. For a second there I thought you were going to kill that girl who cheered when I left."

"Of course I wanted to, which is why I left her a present in her locker."

Naruto still wasn't used to someone caring to the point of taking his defense like that, so he couldn't prevent the red in his cheeks. "Damn it, Shikamaru-teme! Stop saying stuff like that! It's embarrassing, you asshole."

The young Nara grinned. "Tell you what, you stop grinning like a fangirl when I say something embarrassing and I'll stop doing it."

A comfortable silence followed. Naruto sat next to the boy and together they watched the village in silence. He seeing Konoha like that. From afar the village looked so peaceful.

"Are you still angry?"

"No, but I'd still like to know why Pinky and Uchiha-teme, though."

The other boy blinked. "...Right. You couldn't have known. It's kind of funny." Naruto groaned inaudibly; Shikamaru had a stupid sense of humor. "You have an idea who your Jonin-sensei is going to be?"

Naruto nodded. "Kakashi, because doujutsu can go fuck themselves."

The other boy grinned. "Here's the part that wasn't mentioned. Apparently, Hatake Kakashi is the only living student of the Yondaime."

Naruto looked very unimpressed. Misguided sense of duty was a pain. "You got to be shitting me. It's like they're trying to get me to hate them. Hell, it's not like I was away for the last twelve fucking years. What gives them the right the mess everything up like this!"

Shikamaru interrupted before he could work up his rant properly. "You're getting angry again..."

"Damn right, I'm angry! Those bastards didn't even tell me about the Kyubi when I graduated. The only reason Jiji even bothered to tell me is because he thought I was going to quit." And if you couldn't tell this was the reason he was angry in the first place.

This got his friend's attention. "Wait they really didn't? I don't know what to say, Naruto. I thought they trusted you a bit more than that. Want to talk about it?"

Naruto deflated. Shikamaru knew him too well. "Nah, it's cool. But it fucking sucks, the way they basically told me 'you're the Kyubi – tough shit, kid' and they never explained why I never got decent training. The Academy basically left me to die and it's like he even didn't care, it's like Jiji didn't even know!"

A hand grabbed his shoulder. "Naruto, I know it's been a shitty three years, but we made it. I know it hurts that they don't see you. But that's why I'm here. I see you Naruto."

Naruto took the time to absorb the words and nodded. This is what family meant. He had to admit, it had almost been five years and he still couldn't get enough of this sibling relationship. It was like an addiction. It was so bad that on most days Naruto wondered what he'd do if lost his brother. The answers he came up with frightened him sometimes.

"And most importantly, Aniki sees you. I think it's time Konoha finally got acquainted with him, what do think?"

The blond grinned back. In spite of his sucky team, that promised to be fun. Naruto frowned. His friend hadn't mentioned his team at all.

"Oi Shikamaru, who's on your team?"

The boy kept a perfectly straight face and said, "...Choji and Ino."

"Fuck you, Shikamaru."

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 **A/N: Hey readers it's been a while. For those who know me because of Shadow and Wind, I'm sorry but I have a massive writer's block. I don't know when I'll actually finish it, but as soon as I can find the inspiration I will. Now the basis of this fic is – what if Team Oblivion had become Team Oblivion sooner? Well keep reading to find out!**


	2. Team Seven

**The Yin Yang Twins**

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Disclaimer: Everything that isn't Kishimoto's is mine. There's not a lot left, now is there? -_-'

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 **2\. Genin Days: Team Seven  
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 ** _In which Shikamaru hangs out with Naruto… even though Naruto has no friends._**

Naruto came about one hour late at the academy. He did so partly because he didn't want to be seen after the scene he caused yesterday, and partly because he knew a bit about his new sensei. He probably would never admit it, but he was still sulking. There was no end to the annoyance he felt for his new team; as far as he was concerned, this was punishment.

He opened the door, only to be attacked by a glare. Sakura was obviously trying – and failing miserably – to flirt with Sasuke. She didn't even see that she had been a minute away from an epic rejection, judging from the way her crush clenched his fists every now and then. As for his other teammate, he looked half-relieved he wasn't stuck with only a fangirl, half-disappointed he still had to deal with the dead last, and fully annoyed that whatever the case he hadn't come sooner.

Sakura snorted. "What are you doing here, idiot? I thought you quit."

Naruto was already prompted to tell her off and he hadn't even made it to his seat yet. However, he didn't show it because for better or for worse, they were a 'team' now, which made them 'teammates'. The very thought was excruciating. Instead, he ignored her stare, sat down and took out what looked like a manga. He pretended he didn't hear Haruno calling him an idiot again, or Uchiha calling him a dobe, or Pinky's indignation at ignoring the asshole's all-important insults. Only when a hand slammed his manga on his desk did he react.

"Get your hand of my manga, Pinky."

"Then stop being a pretentious jerk and answer my question, idiot! And don't call me Pinky! Not only you waltz in here like you're a shinobi, but you even ignored Sasuke-kun."

Naruto took a deep calming breath. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto. Get it right or piss off."

Pinky blinked several times. Fortunately, Uchiha was a bit smarter and decided to forego the insults in order to get rid of his boredom.

"Oi, didn't you quit?"

Well there were no insults in the question, so he could answer. He wasn't expecting a miracle on the first day. He wished they had asked about something else though, because he was still angry about that whole fiasco of a Genin promotion.

"I didn't quit – I was pissed about the team assignments, so I left."

Uchiha frowned. "What about your hair?" he asked next.

Oh so the pretentious asshole did know how to use his eyes. His spiky blond hair was now tied into a ponytail that reached his back. In front, a couple of bands covered his forehead, without reaching his eyes. This new style gave him a bit of a wild look he had learned to appreciate.

"It was a Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Technique)." he answered proudly.

"Then take it off already, baka!" the fangirl snapped. He rewarded her with a glare. She took a step back, regaining her confidence with the increasing distance. "It doesn't suit you at all."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I couldn't care less about what you think, Pinky." Uchiha twitched, but Naruto was able to notice the amusement in his eyes before it flickered away. Apparently, he thought the same. "Besides, you got it backwards. My short hair – that was the Henge."

They looked at Naruto strangely for a moment. Fortunately, the Uchiha shrugged and returned to his brooding, and Pinky went back to her fangirl ways, leaving Naruto to his reading. He read until he heard the door open and a silver-haired shinobi entered the room.

He took a good look at the trio and said, "My first impression of you guys is... You're boring. Come and meet me on the roof." After that he vanished, leaving behind some smoke and a handful of leaves. Naruto's eyes narrowed; so this was the famous Shunshin no Jutsu. If he could learn that, it could be worth becoming a Genin.

Naruto pocketed his book and followed the others to the roof. Kakashi was waiting for them. He asked for proper introductions while telling absolutely nothing about himself. Well, two could play that game.

"Well, your turn next Blondy."

"OK. Well, your name is Hatake Kakashi, son the famous White Fang, and student of the even more famous Yondaime Hokage. You like reading IchaIcha Paradise, so you're probably a pervert. I dunno about your dislikes, but I guess smartasses? No one likes a smartass after all. As for your dreams and aspirations, probably making up for past mistakes, or some other mature and deep shit like that." He paused for dramatic effect. "It was my turn to guess who you were, right?"

All of them were giving him looks so funny Naruto couldn't help himself and laughed at them. Kakashi's face was the funniest; he looked frustrated and disappointed at the same time. "You know, for a cute little rookie, you're not cute at all," He said.

Naruto coughed to control his laughter. "I'm not supposed to be cute, I'm supposed to be badass!" he grinned when Kakashi shook his head. "Anyway, I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I like Aniki, ramen, and being awesome. I don't like stupid people, or people that can't use their eyes. My goal...? Peace, I guess."

Uchiha finally looked at _him_ , and not at the dobe he usually ignored. Considering he was a pretentious asshole though, he would have to wait and see if that translated to different actions. Sakura didn't even listen to his introduction. Kakashi had a poker face that made Naruto jealous, combined with the mask covering half his face and the headband covering a quarter more, it was impossible to tell what he thought about him.

Once the introductions were over – Apparently, Uchiha wanted to kill someone, probably Uchiha Itachi if the Bingo Book was accurate, and Pinky _really_ wanted to help Sasuke 'rebuild his clan' – Kakashi told them they had one more test before they became true Genin and told them to meet in training area seven the next day. Well this promised to be fun – especially the part where they 'shouldn't eat any breakfast or else you'll puke', that sounded lovely.

Again, two could play that game, but before he prepared to deal with his sensei, Naruto wanted to spend some time with Aniki. Aniki had finally managed to finish his new gas bomb, and chances were he'd probably need them... For testing purposes, obviously.

At the very least, tomorrow would be interesting

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

The next day, Naruto arrived on time, like the other would-be Genin. So like the other two, he waited more than an hour for their Jonin-sensei to arrive. Only he had the foresight to bring his manga with him, so while the other two were fuming, Naruto was engrossed in his reading. Still, if his Jonin-sensei made a habit of arriving hours late every single time they met, he would have to do something else than reading. He wouldn't be able to put up with that shit for long.

Eventually Kakashi appeared in a swirl of leaves. Uchiha and Pinky were glaring daggers at him, while Naruto sighed and pocketed his book – he was just getting at the juicy part. Once again, Kakashi looked disappointed.

"Look at them," he said at Naruto. "Look at their angry, pouting faces. That's what a cute Genin is supposed to look like."

"Uh, huh," Naruto replied noncommittally, giving his teammates a quick glance. "They kind of look ugly if you ask me." Now the glares were aimed at him, not that he cared.

Kakashi shrugged. "Here's your test. I have bells here – you get one, you pass. Also, you get to eat lunch," he added as he put bento boxes on a tree stump. Three stomachs growled in response.

Haruno, ever so astute and observant, stated the obvious. "But, Kakashi-sensei, there's only two bells." To which the Jonin smiled ominously.

"Well, tough luck for the one who doesn't get bells. Incidentally, there are only three lunch boxes here and I'll be eating one of those boxes. Any other questions?" Naruto and the others were too busy being weary of each other to think of one "Well then, one more thing. Come at me with the intent to kill, or you'll never get those bells. Begin."

After the customary smoke bomb, only Kakashi and Naruto remained. That suited Naruto just fine. He had always wanted to take a crack at combat against a Jonin. He knew that currently he had no chance, but this was a great way to gauge how far he still had to go.

"So sensei, you won't mind a little warn up, will you?"

His teacher sighed and took out his own book in response. "Lesson one – Taijutsu."

Was he really that outmatched? Maybe his goal would be to make him drop his book. He took a crouching position aiming for the Jonin. Without warning, he closed the distance and assaulted his new mentor with a flurry of punches and kicks... That all missed their mark. Naruto smiled. Kakashi-sensei's nonchalance and the way he evaded his blows with ease reminded him of Aniki. Maybe it was time to take it up a notch. Naruto jumped back and after adjusting his stance for a jump, leaped into a series of fast somersaults before he brought his foot down on Kakashi's shoulder. "Senpu Kaze Otochi!"

The Jonin dodged, but his expression changed when Naruto foot created a small crater, blowing rocks and debris all around him. The blond stood and gave his sensei and cocky smile.

Kakashi's lone eye showed a bit of exasperation. "That could have hurt."

He shrugged. "Intent to kill, remember?" Having said that, Naruto threw a smoke bomb and went to hide in the nearby trees like his other teammates, only he didn't stop there and moved even farther away while making sure that his Jonin instructor wasn't after him. Once he thought he was far enough, Naruto took out a scroll and unsealed some grub – fruits, nuts, and some preheated instant ramen. He ate quickly, while staying aware of his surroundings. He was proud of the loophole he found in Kakashi's instructions; he may have told them not to eat breakfast before the test, but he never said anything about eating it _during_ the test. Once he finished, he put on his modified pilot goggles. He tinkered with this little bauble on his own, and with some fuinjutsu, he was able to see chakra – not even as remotely as well as even Sharingan users, but enough to tell apart shinobi from rocks and trees. That and he had managed to have his goggles act like a telescope. Thanks to them, he managed to spot Kakashi going after Sasuke. He smiled; time for a little prank.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Seeing Naruto hanging upside down and tied up like a sausage made Kakashi-sensei's lone eye smile.

"You know Naruto, eating before the others isn't very nice. What about your teammates? Shouldn't they get a chance to eat as well?"

Smoke bombs and shuriken interrupted his little lecture. When the smoke cleared, Kakashi-sensei was fast asleep. Naruto pumped his first in victory. He knew his double trap would work. Hide the sleeping gas in the midst of the smoke bombs – it was a classic! People tended to underestimate him at least once and he banked on that. Seriously, the fact that more people didn't have sleeping and paralyzing gas the way Aniki did was head scratching. Then again, maybe that's why most of them wore masks. While Naruto pondered of the subtleties of chemical warfare, he acquired the two bells, hid the body somewhere, and tried to find his two 'teammates'.

He found Uchiha first, but it was so funny finding the boy as a talking head that he decided to search for Pinky instead and brought her to see it. Her reaction and subsequent fainting was equally hilarious. After he unearthed one and roused the other, Naruto sat down, serious.

"So, how about we team up? I mean all three of us failed to get the bells on our own, and that's kind of obvious, you know, 'cause he's a Jonin and all." When no one answered he added, "Tell you what; I'll even take the fall if we really do need the bells to pass. It's not like I want to be a shinobi that much at the moment."

Uchiha didn't even think about the answer. "I didn't succeed by myself and you expect me to believe I will while I'm being held back by a fangirl and a dobe? Tell you what, _you_ leave _me_ alone and when I get the bells I _might_ be generous enough to share one with either of you." Naruto watched him leave with him usual self-satisfied smirk, and his groupie followed, eager to follow the blond's advice – without said blond, of course.

Well, so much for them being a team and all that shit! He had offered, and they took a piss on his good will – they could go fuck themselves. The Jonin-sensei was on thin ice as it was. He was cool enough, and might become someone he could hang out with, but he was too aloof and obnoxious. To him, Kakashi could still go either way. Speaking of their sensei, he wondered if the man had woken up yet. Naruto decided to wait near their lunch and see what would happen.

He arrived and waited near the lunches, reading his ever-present manga book. He stopped when Kakashi's alarm went off. Seeing his disgruntled peers was amusing. No need to ask how it went, their faces told him everything he needed to know.

"You look quite happy for someone who has yet to get the bell – or eat lunch for that matter."

Naruto took a good look at his sensei and his eye twitched. Right there, on his side, were the bells that were supposed to be in his pocket. Wait... _The bells_ _ **were**_ ** _still_** _in his pocket_.

What the hell!?

"Oi, Kakashi-sensei! Can you make real clones?" Oh, great, now he wanted to slap himself

Kakashi smiled and Naruto knew he was busted. "As a matter of fact I do. Care to explain why you're interested in knowing?" Naruto grumbled something under his breath. Kakashi smiled. "Now Naruto, you wouldn't be asking that question without reason." Seeing the boy still didn't want to talk, Kakashi went on. "I know I made a Kage Bunshin (Shadow Clones), that's what they're called by the way. You're also not the only one who has good eyes, though you kind of focus too much on your ambush when ambushing. Speaking of ambushing, it was really well done for a Genin; a little sloppy in the execution, but one always has room for improvement. Frankly I'm impressed."

Huge didn't even begin to describe how big a screw up he had made. Yes, he didn't know about the clone, but to have been observed during all that without his knowledge? That was a rookie mistake – one that got you killed early in your career.

Pinky looked from one to the other. "What are you talking about, sensei?" Next to her, Asshole looked slightly annoyed. Or maybe he was confused and didn't want to show it.

"Naruto, would you mind showing the contents of your pocket to the rest of the class?"

Naruto glared at the man before complying. The look of outrage on Arrogant Asshole's face was totally worth it though; he had never seen the guy so pissed. Next to him, Pinky was gaping like a fish. He looked at the bells with something like disgust. What was he supposed to do with these anyway, they weren't real, you know?

As if to confirm his feelings, Kakashi dispelled his clone. Naruto let out a small groan when he saw his hard work disappear in a puff of smoke. Truthfully, he would have been worried otherwise – really, outsmarting a Jonin would be absurd at this stage. Still, that didn't mean he wasn't disappointed by his failure. Oh well, at least this team had a competent shinobi. Though, the perverted grin his new sensei bore since he cancelled his clone jutsu made him doubt if the word 'professional' was part of the man's vocabulary.

Said perverted sensei turned his attention to his recruits, focusing on the book Naruto had taken out and was currently playing with. After a moment, he shrugged.

"You'll be glad to know that I've revised my conclusions about you. My second opinion is... You're _really_ boring, except you Naruto – you're annoying."

The boy bowed, pleased with himself. "I live to please. Though you're plenty annoying yourself."

Kakashi rubbed his head in embarrassment. "Really? Thanks, that's awfully nice of you to notice." He then returned to the matter at hand. "Believe it or not, I actually did my homework. This is Team Seven, composed of four members. Aside from the cool, smart and handsome sensei, one of them is bookworm who's also a fangirl. One of them is your run-of-the-mill sap sorry jackass, that also happens to be the rookie of the year; and the last, and very much the least, is the annoying dead last, with a penchant for putting his foot in his mouth and playing stupid pranks."

Naruto's indignation flared. "Oi! My pranks cause fear by the simple _mention_ of them. They're fucking _art_ , OK? The rest is pretty much spot on though." Naruto ignored the outrage of his teammates, focusing on his sensei instead. "What's your point?"

"My point is they," he pointed at the other two aspirants Genin, "are supposed to be the smart ones and you," he said pointing at Naruto, "are supposed to be the idiot." Naruto's eye twitched, but he made no comment. Kakashi sighed. "So explain to me why you're the only one so far who passed the test and got the bells."

"But Kakashi-sensei, the idiot didn't even get the real bells in the first place, so how did he pass?"

No. _Fucking_. Way.

"You mean to tell me that after all the shit he put you through, and after he handed your dear Sasuke-teme's ass to him – all by doing diddly squat, mind you, and after he explicitly said, and I quote 'passed the test _and_ got the bells', you still think this test is about the fucking bells? Wait, you still think you had a fucking _chance_ at taking the bells?"

Sakura frowned and turned her anger towards Naruto. "Nice try idiot. There's no way you could've passed when Sasuke-kun didn't. Kakashi-sensei must be trying to get to us. And of course the test is about the bells – Kakashi-sensei said so." That comment seemed to bolster the confidence of her crush as well.

Naruto's face barely twitched, while inside he was laughing himself silly – the irony of Pinky's comment was killing him. Finally, he let out a small chortle when he looked at Kakashi. He was eyeing the other Genin with a barely hidden twitch in his eye.

"Naruto, kindly explain to her why she's wrong."

Surprise replaced his amusement. "Eh? Why the hell would I do that! You're the sensei – do your fucking job! And in case you didn't know, I couldn't give a damn about this test in the first place, so I got no reason to tell them jackshit, you know."

Kakashi's lone eye narrowed dangerously. "Unfortunately for you, _I_ care about this test, and considering _I'm_ the Jonin and _I_ make the rules, when I tell _you_ to explain to your teammate, _you explain to your teammate_."

What followed was an intense staring contest, which Naruto lost because Kakashi was a prick. He glared at Haruno. "You're wrong. He's right. Stop talking back." He turned to Kakashi. "There, satisfied now?"

In fact, none of them were if their stares and glares were any indication. Naruto threw his hands in frustration and resignation. "Fine! I'll explain."

Really, the true meaning of the test wasn't so hard if you figured out the huge clue Kakashi-sensei had left them – namely, that he had been lying about almost everything. The test had failure rate of sixty-six percent? If that were true, there would be only one bell, not two. The no-breakfast thing? The fact that he had baited them with lunch boxes clearly meant that the earlier command had been a trap to reinforce the biggest lie – that only two people could pass. Naruto had to admit he had struggled with that last part the most, but after realizing he had absolutely no chance of taking on a Jonin even if they were a hundred Genin, things started falling into place.

"The real test isn't about the bells at all; this is a test about teamwork," he stated.

Pinky dismissed the idea almost immediately; since it went against all the tips and rules the Jonin had given them. She was so by-the-book that Naruto pitied her. Asshole worked out the information, put the pieces of the puzzle in place at a frightening pace and scowled fiercely at him once he was done.

"Oi, don't look at me like that, it was his idea, not mine," he snapped back.

The other boy ignored his remark. "When we met earlier, you never told us the true purpose of the bell test." Naruto simply stared back, defiant. "If you know what's good for you, Uzumaki, you won't pull that kind of stunt on me again."

Naruto rolled his eyes. If that asshole thought he'd simply obey him, he had another thing coming.

"Well, normally once someone realizes the true meaning of the test, they have the rest of their team show a modicum of teamwork and they pass. Considering the circumstances," he looked at Naruto, who totally ignored him, "and that you already know what the purpose of this test, without me telling you... you pass. You may thank Naruto here, because your would have failed otherwise."

Naruto snorted. Figures the Jonin would one up him and made them pass in spite of his efforts – or lack thereof. Naruto wasn't angry, but he sure hated his luck. More importantly, he despised Shikamaru's luck. Why was he stuck with the worst team ever while the other boy had his best friend with him?

"So, Naruto – care to explain why you don't give a damn about this test?"

Naruto turned his attention to his sensei. "Do I have to?"

"I think you owe your teammates at least that much."

He frowned. "Yeah well, you answer my question and I'll answer yours. Why the fuck am I on this team?"

Naruto grit his teeth as the Jonin told the same lie Iruka had been forced to feed him. So he was one of _them_. Too bad. He had thought there would be at least _one_ member of the team he could get along with.

"Unfortunately for you sensei, you failed _my_ little test. There are three little things you need to know about the previous graduation class. One, I am _not_ the dead last. Two, Sasuke-teme is _not_ the rookie of the year." He flashed his sensei a grin. "But you knew that already, didn't you? But here's the kicker. Three, the reason I know of One and Two, is because _I made it happen_."

Man, he never got tired of the faces people made when they realized how much they screwed up when out came to one Uzumaki Naruto. Right now though, he was too angry to take pleasure in that. Mainly because Kakashi betrayed nothing of his surprise or his emotions.

"So to answer your question – I don't give a damn about that test or this team, because I don't trust _him_ , I don't trust _her_ , and I sure as hell don't trust _you_!" He had sneered the last part outright glaring at Kakashi. The Jonin kept his bored expression. Naruto had to admit his respect for his sensei's aloofness, even though it rubbed him the wrong way.

Kakashi ignored Naruto's outburst and set up their next meeting for early tomorrow. Naruto would be there. Is not like he had a choice in the matter. He would bide his time.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Since they had Aniki's permission now that they were Genin, Naruto was meeting Shikamaru at Ichiraku's. Naruto complained in detail about how his situation plain sucked. After his rant he calmed down, happy to have the attention of someone that actually cared. Still, he was about done thinking about his horrible day.

"Hey, how did the test go?" he asked the other boy.

A confused Shikamaru frowned. "Test? What are you talking about?"

Naruto tried to breathe; it wouldn't do to get angry until after Shikamaru explained. The explanation was simple. The Jonin were to test the potential Genin however they saw fit – or not. Shikamaru's Jonin instructor was a bit on the lazy side and simply made sure they knew why they were a team. After that, it was mostly training.

Naruto voiced his displeasure so explicitly that Shikamaru, and even Teuchi were laughing hard enough to gasp for air. Meanwhile Ayame went full mother mode and threatened to scrub Naruto's tongue raw if he ever felt the need to be that disrespectful.

"Now, no more insults to your sensei," the waitress said.

Naruto stared at her confused and outraged. "Why are you defending him, he's an asshole!"

"That's it!" Ayame looked mad, but also conflicted. She edged closer to the counter and Naruto grabbed his last bowl of ramen protectively out of instinct. "Naruto, put the bowl down." He shook his head vehemently. "Put. It. Down."

Defeated, Naruto knew he had no choice. He put it down, knowing what would happen next. His heart still stopped when she took the ramen away. He felt so... betrayed, so empty. How could Ayame of all people do this to him? But waitress stood firm in her resolve, even though it did waver when she saw his unshed tears. She didn't even come near him for the rest of the evening, whether because her resolve would crumble or because she was about to cry, Naruto would never know, nor did he care at the moment.

Shikamaru shook his head as he patted the poor blond's shoulder. "Tough luck."

Naruto didn't even have the energy to be groan. He just wanted his last bowl of ramen. He was about to slam his head on the counter when his nose picked up a familiar smell. In front of him was streaming hot bowl of Miso ramen. To his left, Ayame was talking to one of the customers, but he couldn't see her well because Shikamaru was leaning on the counter, hiding her from view.

Shikamaru was a lifesaver.

He gobbled up the food before the waitress found anything amiss and discretely slid the empty bowl back to his owner. Now that he was revived, he turned his indignation towards the reason of all the shit happening today.

"He's not even there and he turns Ayame against me," he grumbled.

"Aren't you taking this way out of proportion?" Shikamaru reasoned. "Yes, he probably asked for you, and you got put with _those two_ but considering who Hatake is, Uchiha was pretty much a given."

"But did it have to be _Haruno Sakura_?" He groaned back.

Shikamaru winced in sympathy. "I know, but she's a blank slate. Considering who they thought you were, they probably concluded Sakura could balance things out, branch into something that would complete the team."

Naruto thought about it, and from _their_ point of view, they had an argument – whoever they were. And then his eyes narrowed dangerously. "Let me tell you how I see it. My life's been shit for the most part. As long as I've known, Konoha has hated me. I can count the number of people I can trust with one hand. The orphanage was hell, the Academy wasn't much better. The nicer teachers threw me out of class without warning when I clowned around. The bad ones found excuses to punish me. The worse ones taught me wrong. The only _good_ teacher I had was Iruka-sensei. Considering my current situation, I should be rookie of the year, instead of the dead last. For me, it's the same thing as trying to kill me, just not directly. So when I'm paired with someone who only cares about revenge and a fangirl that outright hates me, on a team with a sensei whose motto is 'teamwork or die', it sounds to me like the people in charge aren't that different from my old teachers."

"So this is where you usually eat, Uzumaki-kun."

Shikamaru, who was about to reply, closed his mouth. The duo turned to meet a girl, the one that kept being nice to him. Naruto frowned. Shikamaru remained neutral, but there was a hint of... resignation in his eyes – odd. What the hell did he do to that girl, anyway? This was the third time now, he was getting bad vibes from her. He knew Hinata kinda liked him, because Aniki had told him so, but that was the exception rather than the rule. He sent a clueless look to Shikamaru, maybe he knew the girl. The young Nara shrugged. So he turned to the new girl.

"Do I know you?"

There was a flicker of something in her eyes before she answered, "No, we've never met. I should have graduated from the Academy two years ago. I have heard a lot about you though."

"Uh huh..."

Yeah, he didn't buy it. Whatever it was, it couldn't explain why she was nice to him. She looked nice and proper so it couldn't be his art – it would be lost on her. Besides that he was either an idiot or a demon to the rest of the world, so he couldn't help but doubt her motives.

"Knock it off, Naruto. She just wants to be friends. Isn't that nice?" To anyone else, Shikamaru looked sincere, but Naruto knew when the boy was making fun of him. – there was a flicker of amusement in his eyes. "Just give it a shot – if it doesn't work, it doesn't. Besides, you need friends; and before you add anything, we both know that you currently have _no_ friends."

Naruto opened and closed his mouth as Shikamaru talked. Finally, he huffed and shrugged. He wasn't going to have this conversation with Shikamaru right now.

"Oh, you're not friends? Because in that case I don't see why you'd ditch me and Choji and be here of all places."

Shikamaru cringed. Yamanaka Ino was bossy, nagging, and she knew Shikamaru's mom. To top it all, she was Uchiha's fangirl number two – or number one, he couldn't tell and didn't care. Shikamaru avoided her as much as Naruto liked to pretend Pinky didn't exist. He wondered why she'd want to follow Shikamaru, though – last he heard she was still coming up with a plan to take over Pinky's spot in Team Seven.

"I wasn't ditching Choji," the young Nara replied. "I'm just paying for a bet I made."

Naruto felt the gazes shift to him, so he answered. "He bet I couldn't knock out the Hokage."

The girls looked confused and Naruto couldn't blame them. Who ever heard of a Genin defeating a Hokage? But, he thought with a grin, that wasn't why Shikamaru had answered like that. A quick glance next to him confirmed that his fellow Genin was already gone.

He turned to the blonde. "Oi, Ino, weren't you here for Shikamaru?" the girl blinked before looking at the empty spot where the young Nara was sitting only seconds ago. He smirked. Shikamaru was good at being sneaky, but he was good at being tricky. As for the other girl, he was banned from ramen for today so...

"Well I guess I'm off. See you again sometime, Yakumo."

He also said his farewells to the Ichiraku's, and left for his apartment. Once he arrived, he was welcomed by a glare. He couldn't help it. He burst laughing.

"It wasn't funny, Ino nearly caught up to me. I had to hide in the dango shop. That girl has trouble written all over her." Naruto didn't care though; he thought his prank was funny. What came next killed his good mood. "You still need friends Naruto."

"I don't need people I can't trust. I got Aniki."

"It's good then, that friends are people you can trust. And remember that it was Aniki who asked you to make friends."

Naruto let out a frustrated growl. Ever since they had entered, the Academy Aniki had practically ordered Naruto to make friends. All he got for his efforts were Shikamaru and Hinata, but she hated Shikamaru so she didn't count. The rest were like their parents, they didn't see him. The inside of the Academy was a replica of Konoha, with Iruka in the role of the Hokage. Naruto would have gone mad within three months of not for Aniki and Shikamaru.

"I got Aniki and you! Why the hell would I need anyone else!?" Naruto snapped.

"Why wouldn't you," Shikamaru challenged back. "You're in Team Seven, I'm in Team Ten, and you know Aniki can't be with you all the time. That's reason enough to get someone else. At least get the Jonin on your side – he chose you after all."

He hated when Shikamaru was being reasonable. "Fine, I'll make an effort," he muttered at last.

A hand squeezed his shoulder. "Naruto, There's nothing wrong with you. What is wrong is that in this village there are fools and people that blindly follow them. You found a few people that you get along with already. The Ichirakus, Iruka-sensei, me, Aniki. You can find more.

Naruto nodded, but didn't bet on it. And speaking of people who got along. "And what the fuck did I do to this Yakumo girl? It's like she's stalking me – and I already got one stalker."

Shikamaru blinked, and then shook his head. "Right, that doesn't surprise me. You tend to forget what you want to forget. You met her a couple of times two years ago. She's the girl with the demon in her head."

It took a moment for Naruto to remember. "EH!? I thought I told that girl that shit never happened."

Shikamaru smiled. "Which is why she lied when you asked her if she knew you. But that doesn't mean she couldn't get to meet you now, or be friends with you."

In other words, she had used a loophole in true shinobi fashion. "Well shit."

Shikamaru laughed.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **A/N: So here's how this his going to work. I'll post every chapter of an arc on a weekly basis and the breaks between arcs will take as long as they have to. As always, please take the time to review. I also changed the summary a bit. BTW, do you guys want me to do something like the R &R from Shadow and Wind? (Omake, Replies, Rants, What)  
**


	3. Team Dynamics

**The Yin Yang Twins**

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Disclaimer: Naruto and its universe \ canon are property of Kishimoto... And whoever owns Kishimoto I guess.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **3\. Genin Days: Team Dynamics  
**

 ** _In which Naruto shows that he is in fact far from being the deadlast.  
_**

Shikamaru's team left him a bit... underwhelmed. Choji was a kind soul, dependable when the situation asked for it and overall the best friend he could ask for. Asuma was a cool adult, a competent Jonin, and he liked to slack off. Ino was... well, she knew her Mind Transfer Jutsu very well. He admitted, if only to himself, that she was also less annoying when not in proximity of Uchiha. More importantly, Choji, Ino and he knew each other well enough to work in synch.

So it baffled him that they didn't know the first thing about him. To be honest, Choji knew a lot about him, but at the same time the Akimichi didn't bother looking underneath the underneath. Asuma and Ino had assumptions, and he seriously wondered how stereotyped had the Nara become.

That morning Shikamaru stepped into training ground Ten and greeted his teammates.

Asuma started the meeting. "Well, now that the last member has finally arrived, let's start training. Today, we're going to simulate a capture mission and I'll see if you got what it takes to be Genin. I'll be the target. You have until noon to find me. If you succeed, I'll have a surprise for you."

That didn't sound too troublesome. Maybe they'd have the afternoon off afterwards. He heard a distinct sound and looked up to find four other Asuma. "Make sure you find the real me, now," he added with a cocky smile.

... Right. He had probably asked for that one. A quickly glance at the clone squad made him want to sigh. These were all normal clones – the real Asuma had already gone into hiding. He'd have to put some effort after all. The forest was further behind their sensei, which gave him an idea of where he'd go. That gave him a bit of time to answer one crucial question. Did try to finish the task immediately, or did take a nap?

He shrugged, might as well get this over with.

"Let's split up," Ino said, "he'll be easier to find later."

Shikamaru disagreed, but Ino was as bossy as she was nagging, so he decided to keep his mouth shut. Besides, he wanted to know how well his jutsu worked against a Jonin. So he went in the direction Ino told him to find out for himself.

Shikamaru had already memorized the layout of the forest since their first team exercise in there. He went to five strategic points in the forest to use his trapping jutsu. After that it was only a matter of coordinating his efforts with Ino and Choji.

About an hour after their game had started, he spotted the lazy Jonin. Shikamaru pretended to sneak close to him sloppily. Asuma saw him coming from a mile away and left – right into one his trapped areas. Shikamaru smirked. It was time to see how his jutsu truly held up; Naruto didn't count. He got his answer with further ahead, he saw his sensei apparently suspended in midair.

Shikamaru jumped from a branch and landed in midair, apparently floating. "S'up sensei," he greeted with a lazy salute.

His sensei's eyes narrowed. "You can see them," he stated, and Shikamaru grinned at the implication of those words. "Aren't you Nara supposed to be lazy?"

To which he replied, "I am lazy. That's why I made these wire traps. These capture you for me. It took what, thirty minutes to make all the traps I put in this forest? We'll talk about that when I get back."

Shikamaru threw something looking like a black grenade at his teacher. It made contact with the Jonin and suddenly black wires bound him in a tight cocoon. He then left his sensei hanging to find his teammates.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

In the end, the exercise finished in the allotted time. Shikamaru came back ten minutes later with his teammates. The three of them brought their sensei back to the clearing where they usually met in the mornings. After that Shikamaru slept until noon, and only _then_ did he free the Jonin. Asuma did not look amused.

"...What? You said we had until noon, right? I just didn't want you to pull a fast one on us."

Asuma glared back, but decided to change subject. "Normally Genin are lazy and don't think ahead. And you are unusually lazy."

"But I do like to think ahead, or else I couldn't have beaten you at Shogi," he argued back. Asuma's frown made him wonder. Apparently, his sensei had expected something else.

Then it clicked. No wonder these exercises seemed all seemed to focus on capture type missions. So far, Choji had already demonstrated the partial enlargement that made his clan famous, and Ino had used the Mind Transfer Jutsu once. He had yet to use ninjutsu, let alone the Nara's Shadow Bind Jutsu. His sensei must have wondered why he hadn't used it yet. This Jonin was perceptive. He almost felt bad for the headache he was about to give him.

"You know sensei, things would have gone a lot quicker if you had been straightforward and asked about the Kage Mane. It's not like I was trying to hide it from you." Ino and Choji looked curious. "In fact, you might as well know now so it doesn't bite us in the ass later – I didn't learn the Kage Mane, and I don't think I ever will."

Choji already knew, of course, but Ino was shocked speechless. Asuma dropped the thankfully unlit cigarette he had hanging in his mouth and stared at Shikamaru as if the world has suddenly gone flat. If he didn't know any better, Shikamaru would have been insulted.

Was it that bad that he didn't know his clan secret techniques? He did fine without them. Maybe that's why the clan had become so lazy. They fitted so well in the Ino-Shika-Cho machine that no real effort was needed of them anymore. On the other hand, being part of a shinobi clan meant so much, and though the Nara wasn't as well known as the Uchiha and the Hyuga, they were up there with the best of them when it came to influence. As the son of the current head of the clan, it should have been a given that he would have learned the Kage Mane by now.

This totally illustrated his point about people not knowing him – at all. He could see the doubt in his sensei's eyes. He sighed in disappointment. Oh well, he hadn't expected much from his Genin team anyway.

Suddenly, Asuma laughed. "Well, you caught me, so who am I to complain? You've got guts, kid." Shikamaru shrugged back, unsure of where the Jonin was going with this. "Well then, let's see what you got." Shikamaru blinked in confusion. Asuma elaborated. "Your traps earlier were top notch – Chunin level maybe, but I think you must have come up with something to replace the Shadow Bind Jutsu if you decided against learning it."

Now it was Shikamaru's turn to grin. His sensei gave him a chance to prove himself; maybe he had been too hasty in judging his team as well. First things first – how did he respond to his sensei's challenge?

"I need a target."

Asuma obliged, setting up a straw man. Shikamaru went through four hand seals before his hands turned dark. He slammed them on the ground.

"Shadow Style – Grasp of the underworld." Several shadow tendrils burst from the ground near the target and bound him in an instant, and shocking the rest of his team.

Ino gasped. "What was that? Was that a Nara Shadow Technique?"

"No. That was a Shadow technique, but not one used by any Nara I know of. A modified Kageyose no Jutsu (Shadow Gathering technique)."

Shikamaru blinked. Asuma was spot on. Of course, that was only half the explanation . Good thing is technique would be nearly impossible to replicate – even for other Nara.

His sensei smiled. "I can work with that... tomorrow."

Shikamaru grinned. He was starting to like this man.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Naruto decided to treat his time with Team Seven like another year at the Academy. He hated it, but he could deal with it. He would expect no friends, no instruction and no help. It would be up to him to make it to Chunin. That couldn't be too hard – Aniki had told him that with the range and mastery of their skills, Shikamaru and he were above Genin level already. He would simply hope that it was true and hone what skills he already had. If that failed and it came to the point that his team would be a threat to his life – more than it already was, he would simply leave them.

There was always plan B after all.

Today looked to be a repetition of yesterday. His teammates were already there, probably hoping their sensei would come on time. He waited for the Jonin for fifteen minutes before leaving to do something more constructive with his time.

"Hey, where are you going?" Pinky demanded.

Naruto rolled his eyes and ignored her shouts. Because of the test yesterday, Pinky had adopted Asshole's manner of addressing him – she stopped calling him an idiot, but still couldn't bother to use his name. Then again, the bimbo hadn't found a reason to berate him for anything yet. So far, they had done nothing, but even then Naruto had the impression she was simply looking for someone to feel superior to.

Pathetic.

As for the brooding avenger, he was actively looking for an opportunity to do... something. He often looked at Naruto. Frankly, he was starting to find his behavior obnoxious.

Naruto moved out of sight, but kept his senses sharp – he really didn't want to be caught unaware like last time. Hidden by the trees, Naruto deactivated some seals on various parts on his body, did some stretches, went through some kata, and meditated. About an hour later, Naruto opened one eye to see Kakashi's head upside down, with his usual eye smile.

"You've been here staring at me for the past ten minutes. I hope you got a good reason because that's just creepy."

"Ah. So you were aware, I thought you forgot my little comment of yesterday."

"I didn't." He also didn't forget how his sensei had lied to his face yesterday. "What the fuck do you want, sensei?"

Kakashi blinked. "To be honest, I wanted to answer one of your questions, and I wanted to ask a question myself."

Naruto nodded dubiously.

"Right the answer first. To be honest, you're on my team because the Hokage owed me a favor. There's a lot I am forbidden to say. But now that I know that you're able to read between the lines, there is something you need to know. We were supposed to meet much earlier than this, but as you know, everything is messed up when it comes to you. So like you said, I am trying to make amends."

Naruto only drew one conclusion from Kakashi bloated information.

"You knew my parents?"

"I forbidden to answer that question," the replied with a smile.

The fact that he was close his parents was interesting. Maybe he'd be able to hear something about them. "OK, I'm willing to give you a chance – I'm not doing the same for the other two though."

"You really should – you are still a team." Naruto's answer was a blank stare. "Now for my question. Do you love Konoha?"

Now that was a loaded question. Naruto would be lying if he said that he loved Konoha. Then again, couldn't see himself living anywhere outside of a hidden village. And his situation wouldn't be that different from a village to another. Well, considering what Jiji had told him about the other villages wanting a piece of the Kyubi… In the end Naruto told the truth. "I don't love the village, and I don't hate it. It's a nice place sometimes, so I guess I'd say I like it?"

Kakashi smiled. "I see. Good, I'm relieved. Well, it's about time you headed back. I'll see you in a few minutes."

Naruto took the hint and headed back to rejoin the other Genin. Not even five minutes into his book and Kakashi appeared. After greeting them he told them they were having a sparring session. Naruto and Sasuke perked up.

"Rules?"

"Anything goes, as long as there's no permanent damage."

"... Anything?"

Sasuke's eyes gleamed, Sakura looked nervous. As for him, he was smiling. If he could legally kick his teammates asses, then maybe his Genin days wouldn't suck as much as he thought.

The first friendly match was between Sakura and Sasuke. It wasn't much of a fight. Sakura had managed to deflect the first few blows, but Sasuke hadn't been serious. In the end, he had simply rushed her, showing none of his true skill.

"Second match, Naruto vs. Sakura."

Naruto was making efforts to not let his anger show.

"All right; I'm going to show you why you shouldn't mess with the top kunoichi. I may have lost to Sasuke-kun, but there's no way I'm losing to the dead last."

Naruto didn't even bother with the insults. They were mild compared to what he suffered from Pinky at the Academy. He remembered all the times she had hit him for no reason, the way she had thrown his offer of friendship in the mud, all the labels he didn't deserve, the scorn he received because he didn't think Sasuke was the best. Worst of all, he still felt something for her.

Naruto blinked. If he kept thinking like that, he might end up killing her. That would mess up a lot of plans. Shikamaru would say it would be troublesome.

Aniki would say it was totally worth it.

When the fight started, Naruto drew what looked like a playing card filled with seals from his jacket. He looked at it to confirm the word barrier was written in the middle. He channeled chakra into the card – it glowed orange for a second. Now that the card was primed, he threw it in downward angle.

Sakura, who was about to throw some kunai, jumped back to avoid the projectile and countered with the weapons in her hands. Naruto started walking towards the kunoichi, casually evading the kunai. Sakura felt so pressured by Naruto's advance that she failed to notice the card that turned orange again. By the time she did, a dome made of an orange light appeared suddenly, and the shuriken she has thrown bounced harmlessly against it.

"What the hell is this!?" She asked, with a hint of panic.

"This is a barrier triggered by that modified seal tag I threw down. It'll go off on its own in a little while – or not ."

Sakura demanded that Naruto release her under threat of bodily harm. Meanwhile Sasuke was looking at Naruto in surprise, and Kakashi looked somewhat impressed.

"And here's the best part," Naruto said taking out a normal tag. The moment he put it on the barrier, there was a peaceful silence. He sighed in contentment.

"You actually shut her up," Sasuke said in amazement.

Meanwhile, Kakashi looked at the barrier, and then at Naruto. "Hmm, any way I could convince you to sell me some tags, or make me some?"

"Why? What do you need?"

"I want to prank someone."

Naruto looked at Kakashi in wonder. "You have a sense of humor." Naruto showed his sensei the grin people around him learned to fear. "Why not? I'm sure we can come to an agreement."

Kakashi smiled. "So, your fuinjutsu and taijutsu are decent. Anything else, you're not telling us?"

"Yes," Naruto chirped gleefully.

Sasuke twitched, Sakura kept shouting silent curses and Kakashi smiled. "I think I'm starting to like you, Naruto."

"Cool. Are we done here?"

"What about him?" Kakashi pointed at Sasuke with a bored expression. The asshole looked eager for a fight. He looked back at Kakashi and shrugged. The Jonin probably had this particular match in mind when he planned the training. To be honest, Naruto had wanted to put him at his place once, but now he really couldn't care less about the pretentious Uchiha, unlike the turmoil he felt about Pinky.

On the other hand, Naruto knew he was strong but he had only Aniki for measuring stick. He was looking forward to showing some of what he learned. He had trained his ass off to get where he was – it certainly wasn't to be called idiot or dead last all his life.

The spar started and Naruto was still pondering how he was going to win this. He had jumped back, but Sasuke had decided to rush him as well. In the end, he went with his gut. He felt a breeze and smiled. Ninjutsu then.

Naruto stopped to block Sasuke's barrage. When he found the opportunity to do so, he twisted his body to deflect a viscous elbow and used the momentum for a spinning back kick. Sasuke managed to block the hit.. and got blown away for his efforts. The look on his face when recovered was awesome, but now it was time to get down to business.

Taking advantage of Sasuke's surprise, Naruto centered himself, and let his chakra be one with his surroundings. He took a deep breath a felt a pleasant rush. The air around him was now his ally; he was ready to kick some ass.

Sasuke was ready for round two and this time attacked from a distance using all sorts of weapons. Naruto smirked and with a wave of his arm, deflected all the weapons coming his way. Without giving his opponent the chance attack further, Naruto blew him away – literally. His breath sent Sasuke flying head first into his barrier.

Naruto scratched his head, in mock embarrassment. "Oops, too strong, maybe?" Sasuke didn't hurt himself too hard, because he stood up, though he wobbled a bit.

At this point, Kakashi stopped the fight. "I think that's enough for a spar."

Sasuke looked like he didn't agree, but it also looked like if this went on it wouldn't be a spar anymore. Naruto released a breath and the air around him returned to normal.

Kakashi whistled. "So, two of my three Genin are familiar with nature transformation, I'm impressed. Well, that will be all for today."

Naruto smiled. He clapped his hand and shouted, "Katsu!" In the next moment, the card and tag he had used earlier turned to dust. He waved politely to his teammates and left whistling a tune.

Damn, it felt good being a badass.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

"So finally, Kakashi ain't so bad," Naruto told him. "Sure, he's an annoying prick, but he's more annoying to them than he is to me."

Shikamaru nodded. From what Naruto described, this guy sounded like a bad mix of the two of them. Thank goodness the Jonin wasn't his sensei.

"And how are the missions so far?" he asked.

The blond sighed. "Boring as fuck, but I get through them just fine." He turned murderous. "I'm looking forward to finding Tora again."

Shikamaru grunted his approval. One week into his new life as a Genin and he had to find the cat twice. He hated the wretched thing. He had half a mind to poison or brainwash it.

The both of them pondered of the different ways to skin a cat before Naruto went on. "You think C-ranked missions get any better?"

"Yeah, if only for the fact that you get to leave the village."

Naruto's eyes sharpened. No doubt he was thinking the same thing he was thinking – plan B. You wouldn't be realistic to expect their first few missions to be anywhere near their target. But by the time one usually made Chunin they would have visited the area at least once, and once was all they needed. He hoped it would take a few months rather than a few years. At the rate, things were going Naruto would simply grow to hate Konoha. And if it ever reached that point...

"There you go, eating with Naruto again. Are you sure you two aren't going out?"

Ino. She had started to drop by unannounced lately along with the Hyuga and Kurama heiresses. Between the three of them, he rarely had the opportunity to talk to Naruto about their various plans, since the three girls never came to annoy them together after that first time. He had to admit Ino was the least invasive of the three – and wasn't that telling! Still, he understood the motives of the Hyuga and Kurama girls; he hadn't a clue for Ino's persistence. Naruto and he shared a annoyed glance. Things were definitely less troublesome when they used to meet in secret.

"Where's Choji?" he asked her resignedly.

"Clan reunion," she answered offhandedly. "So, any chance that Sasuke gets here on your next get-together?"

Shikamaru sighed in relief. Of course, the girl has been looking for a way to meet Sasuke. This was normal behavior as far as he was concerned; meaning that eventually, she would stop coming. Unfortunately, he couldn't think of something for the other two, as their behavior was normal as well – in a troublesome way. Trust Naruto to make only female friends – must have been on purpose.

So here he was, trying to weather the inane chatting of Ino. Next to him, Naruto looked like he was having fun at their expense, but Shikamaru had a feeling Naruto was angry with him; like he wanted to tell him off, but it was neither the place nor the time.

Eventually Ino realized that he was completely ignoring her. She turned to Naruto instead. "So you were telling me how you and Shikamaru became such good buddies all of a sudden."

Naruto stopped between two bites and gave her a clueless look. "Uh, I was?"

Ino rolled her eyes. "Yes! You guys never hung out before, so what changed between the Academy and now?"

"What are you talking about, Ino? I've been hanging with Shikamaru during the Academy. Where do you think we went when Kiba, Choji, Shikamaru and me skipped classes?"

"Oh." She looked lost for a second, but went on the attack again. "But then why isn't Kiba with you?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Because they're not close, obviously." As Ino turned her attention to him, Shikamaru was grinning at Naruto who was making hidden signs to shut the hell up – right now. "Look no matter how much you snoop and ask Naruto he won't answer you because he's very good at playing dumb."

Ino turned her focus back on him. "Then if you're not friends, and you're not lovers, what are you?"

"Last time I checked I was a human, and so was Naruto, and we're both teen shinobi."

"I meant, what is your relationship!" she snapped.

"Oh. We're brothers," he answered nonchalantly.

Ino looked from one boy to the other. "I'm not seeing it."

"Really, were like twins! Look at our faces." Naruto said. He smiled while Shikamaru didn't, then he stopped and Shikamaru grinned.

Ino's eyes narrowed. "I'm still not seeing it."

It was Shikamaru's turn to roll his eyes. "That's because he was adopted obviously."

"Oi, why am I the one being adopted?" Naruto whined. He gave him a look. "Shut up Shikamaru!"

Ino huffed impatiently. "Fine! Keep your secrets from me. You know I'll find out in the end anyway. She said, staring intensely at Shikamaru first, and then at Naruto. However, her gaze lingered a while longer on the blond boy. Shikamaru, who knew Ino better than anyone here shivered.

"You know Naruto," she started, "you've got a baby face and some beautiful eyes. Hmm... Yeah, I can definitely produce you."

"Shikamaru?" he asked worriedly.

Shikamaru didn't meet his eyes – he was trying very hard to hide his amusement. "She wants to be your manager; to sell your image."

Naruto was very cautious now. "To be what?"

"The perfect boyfriend, of course!" Ino gushed, scaring Naruto a little. "Oh, you're probably telling yourself, I'll never be like Sasuke-kun! And you'd be right. The only one who'd fit the type would be Shikamaru here – my greatest failure." She faked sobs while Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "But you, you could definitely be the cute type – or maybe the little brother type."

While Ino was enumerating all the potential Naruto had, said blond was looking at Shikamaru for help. Unfortunately, he knew very well this was a lost cause, because he knew Naruto didn't have his temperament. So he mouthed the only piece of advice he could think of.

"Run."

Naruto gulped. "Eh, that's great Ino, but I kinda have to go right now, he said getting up. I have this meeting, see... With Aniki, so really don't want to be late, you know? We'll talk about that some other time."

It was a plausible excuse, even if no one believed it to be true, so Ino let him go before turning to Shikamaru who, for a reason he himself knew nothing of, was still sitting on the bench. She smiled and sat next to him.

"You know, Naruto has potential. I think he could be my backup boyfriend if Sasuke and I don't work out. "

For some reason, the idea of the two blonds together was nauseating. He also wondered what a certain Hyuga would think about that and shivered. He saw the potential headache the two of them would give him if they were together. But for that she would have to get over Uchiha Sasuke – fat chance.

The fact that he was alone with Ino was his cue to leave. Still, he knew he wouldn't hear the end of it if he gave her the slip again so he cut to the chase.

"What do you want, Ino?"

All the traces of the flirty Ino was gone. She actually looked worried. "I want to know what's up with Naruto. I've been watching him a bit, and what he did that day after the exams didn't sound like him at all – I mean, doesn't he like Sakura? And most importantly, I want to know what's up with _you_. We're friends, right? And we're teammates too. I don't like not knowing so much about you. I mean, who's _Aniki_?"

As much as he disliked Ino for being a girl, he had to admit she made a much better friend than Sakura did. And they were friends in the loose sense of the word.

What the hell, Naruto needed friends anyway.

"Naruto has been hated by the almost all of Konoha pretty much since he was born," he started. "That takes a toll on anyone."

"But he grew up at the orphanage, didn't he?"

Shikamaru scowled. "Yes, and while he was he was fed and clothed there, that didn't change the fact that he was hated. People can be cruel to people they hate." Ino paled.

Shikamaru went on. "When I met Naruto for the first time, I quickly noticed that mistreating him was the norm, even encouraged. And it took a while to get close to him, partly because I tend piss people off, partly because the village didn't want Naruto to have friends, and mostly because Naruto is an altruistic idiot. And the only reason it _did_ happen, was because we met Aniki.

"As for who Aniki is, or what's the deal with Naruto and me? I'm sorry but that's between the three of us."

Ino could read well enough between the lines. "That's why you changed so much? Naruto and Aniki." There was a small silence. "How much does Choji know?"

"Not much." Only that Naruto and he were close and Aniki's existence. He had kept quiet about it, and that's one reason why Choji was Shikamaru's best friend.

Out of nowhere, Ino pat his shoulder. "You're a great guy Shikamaru." The boy rolled his eyes at her patronizing air. Even her compliments irked him. "You know what? I think Naruto needs more friends."

Shikamaru snorted. Aniki kept telling Naruto that."You and me both."

"How about Sasuke and Sakura?" Ino suggested.

Shikamaru's expression became dangerous. "Explain to me how _Haruno_ being _anywhere_ near Naruto is a good idea."

Ino flinched back, wondering what she had said to offend. "Oh, oh! _That's_ why you don't like forehead." Then her eyes grew wide. "Wait, that's why you stopped talking to _me_ last year? Because I was making fun of Naruto? You were ready to end our friendship because of _him?"_

"I don't remember us being that close," Ino looked quite upset hearing that, which surprised Shikamaru. Between her rivalry with Haruno and his usual laziness, they had pretty much never spent time together at the academy. He only spoke to her at clan outings, and even then it was to tell her how troublesome she was. "And even if we were, if I didn't take his side, who would? Ino, do you remember a teacher ever taking Naruto's side before Iruka-sensei?"

He gleaned his answer from the way her eyes widened, and then became sad. "I never noticed."

He shrugged. "You were too busy."

"You must be angry."

"I'm not." Shikamaru wasn't angry anymore, but as he got up to leave, his eyes grew cold. "But if you hurt him... _I will hurt you_."

He then walked, leaving Ino sitting there for a long while.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Team Seven's meetings were boring as hell. The teamwork exercises were useless, and what passed for shinobi missions were retarded. And yet, Naruto preferred the missions to the training – at least the civilians didn't have to pretend that they didn't hate him, and Naruto could ignore them well enough since he wouldn't see them anytime soon.

Ignoring Pinky was another matter entirely. Naruto wondered if her dream had changed from 'having Sasuke's babies' to 'pissing Naruto enough to kill her'. Naruto knew which one she was closer to realize.

And speaking of assholes...

"What the fuck are you doing?" He asked to an empty building he has passed a few seconds ago. Of course, the building refused to answer. Naruto twitched. "Oi, do you really want me to come and kick your ass?"

This time his teammate came out from behind the apartment complex. Uchiha looked embarrassed at being found out. He had a reason to; Naruto had been better at sneaking around at _eight._ At that time he had started hiding from ANBU – good times. Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he turned to Uchiha.

"What do you want?"

"You're different from the Academy. What did you do to get that strong?"

Naruto frowned. "I trained my ass off. Any other stupid questions?"

"You want me to believe you became that powerful in less than two weeks?" the boy sneered.

Right, that did sound a bit farfetched. "I wanted people to think I was a loser." The truth was, people already hated him for existing, and they already thought he was a loser. He wasn't giving anyone a bigger reason to focus on him. Besides 'plan B' hinged on the idea that he would be underestimated.

"And now?"

Naruto grinned nastily. "People already 'know' who I am. It'll take a while for them to change their mind." Naruto saw him frown. "Before you ask, it was Aniki's idea."

"Who's he?"

"None of your business," Naruto warned.

The Asshole looked angry. At what, he couldn't tell. "You may be stronger now, but it won't be for long."

Naruto looked amused. "Why? You think your little eye shit is enough to deal with me? You can try all you want."

The other boy looked ready to strike, but calmed down. "Fine keep gloating. You'll soon learn the true power of the Uchiha."

Naruto shrugged as the other boy left. So the asshole behaved like one – big surprise there. Now there was only one more thing he had to deal with. He stealthily rounded same building, and got the drop on his second stalker of the day.

Naruto blinked in confusion. "Oi, Ino, what the fuck are you doing here?"

Ino, who was looking for someone by the looks of things, jumped in fright. "Naruto!? What the hell!? You w—" The girl then blushed at being found out. "—I mean, _Naruto!_ What are _you_ doing here?"

"Oi, I asked first. Why are you spying on me?"

Ino cleared her throat. "I, Well, I wasn't really spying on you, I was just trying to find a way to get close to Sasuke-kun, and while I followed him—"

Naruto looked unimpressed. "You're full of shit. The only thing that's true is that you have been snooping around since you talked about 'producing' me. Problem is, if you're interested in Sasuke, why are you spying on me?" And while Naruto looked curious when he asked her, there was a hint of warning in his voice.

"I... OK look, Shikamaru said you might need some friends," she suddenly blurted out.

Naruto rolled his eyes – typical Shikamaru. He bet Aniki was behind this. "So what, you wanted to see if I was friend material or something?"

"No!" She looked kinda upset. "I just... When Shikamaru told me about you, he made realize I didn't know you at all. So I wanted to find out more about you because I didn't want to hurt you because Shikamaru said if I hurt you he'd hurt _me,_ and Shikamaru _never_ threatened me before and he was kind of scary," she finished uncertainly.

Naruto shivered. He had learned very early in their dealings not to take Shikamaru's threats lightly. In fact taking _anything_ about him lightly was begging for terrible consequences.

Except his misogyny.

Ino saw his reaction and jumped on it. "You see? I didn't know Shikamaru could even _be_ like that, so I wasn't taking any chances. Sorry about that." Naruto waved it off, he could see where she was coming from. "So, she asked," biting her lip and tugging her hair, "Do you think we could be friends?"

"Nope," Naruto deadpanned, Ino slumped. "but if you stop spying on me, I might reconsider. And of you could do something about Hinata stalking me I'd do anything you want. Hell, I'd marry you."

Ino burst into laughter. "Yeah, don't ask me for miracles. Besides, you know Sasuke-kun's the only one for me." Suddenly her eyes gleamed. "Speaking of Sasuke-kun…"

Naruto groaned. "Can we _not_ talk about the asshole? I train with him all day. Would you like it if I only talked to you about Shikamaru's hate of women and cooties?"

Ino found the idea as unpleasant as he did judging by her face. The part about the cooties finally registered and she giggled.

"Shikamaru's afraid of _cooties_?"

"I wish. That'd be mad funny. He just says women are trouble half the time. I thought he was gay for a while."

Ino laughed again. The two of them talked, and plotted on ways to annoy Shikamaru.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **A/N: Chapter three, ladies and gents! A reviewer mentioned that the idea of R &R was appealing to him. While I don't mind, 1-I don't like doing the same things for different fics. 2-There's not enough reviews per chapter yet to warrant a R&R.  
**

 **N.B. Next's week chapter might be two to three days late.**

 **Shun: So, let's get on with our first "Chapter Talks". The first thing I'll say is Cooties, really Shika?  
Naru: *Rolls on the floor laughing*  
Shika: Ugh! I am _so_ going to get you for that Naruto.  
Naru: Sorry, but what can I say, I was inspired.  
Shun: True, true, but I must admit it was already payback for sicking Ino on the poor guy.  
Naru: *To Shika* You did _what!?_  
Shika: Wow, he didn't even know. *grins evilly* look forward to the shopping trip - part II  
Naru: *whimpers*  
**

 **Shun: Seriously though, back to the chapter! How do you feel about your teams guy?  
Naru: My team's fucking awesome! Too bad the circumstances are all wrong. Why can't I get Sakura-chan in this fic?  
Shika: Not complaining, I got my best friend.  
Naru: I thought _I_ was your best friend!  
Shika: *roll eyes*  
**

 **Shika: Well I have a question, why _didn't_ I learn the kagemane in this fic?  
Shun: I don't want to spoil** **—  
Shika: I meant what's _your_ reason I didn't learn the kagemane.  
Shun: ...Oh. Well I thought the kagemane was too dull.  
Shika: ... I can't believe you.  
**

 **Shun: Anyway that's all for today, See you next week!  
** **Naru & Shika: *waves*  
**


	4. C-Rank

**The Yin Yang Twins**

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Disclaimer: Naruto and its universe \ canon are property of Kishimoto... And whoever owns Kishimoto I guess.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **4\. Genin Days: C-Rank**

 ** _In which Shikamaru gets his first taste of a F.U.B.A.R. C-rank.  
_**

Naruto was getting antsy.

He would have thought his team would drive him crazy, but no, once Sasuke had learned Naruto could kick his ass, he focused on training even more. That left Pinky even more starved for attention, to the point that Sasuke finally snapped.

"Why the hell do you keep harassing me? I'm not wasting my time on stupid stuff like dates, and training with you would make me _weaker_." Naruto had laughed at that. "If I wanted to train with someone, I would have trained with Naruto. If you have time to waste, why don't you try to get stronger?"

Sasuke did in fact ask Naruto to be his training partner – right in front of Pinky. Naruto had been wary of the asshole, but he agreed. He regretted it after the first spar and stopped after the second one. While the boy had been looking for a way to get better – by beating him – he was also looking for shortcuts. As much as Naruto understood, it also disappointed him. Besides, he got nothing out of the training himself.

Still, Naruto was more help to Sasuke than even Kakashi was, since the Jonin's focus was on teamwork over individual skills. And because Naruto wasn't a weakling, and treated him cordially despite of all this, Sasuke had stopped insulting him. They were more or less colleagues now – not friends, but certainly not enemies or rivals. There was a certain professionalism that even Kakashi had to admire.

Needless to say Pinky's hate for Naruto had reached new heights, and Naruto was closer to strangling her every day.

Between this new training atmosphere and the missions, things had become normal. That and he even less time to spend with Aniki now. The latter was definitely reason enough for his nervousness, but the former didn't help. So today, as they walked to the mission reception desk, a determined Naruto asked his sensei.

"Oi, can't we get a mission outside of the village for once?"

Kakashi hummed. "OK."

Pinky gawked, looking from her sensei to Naruto. "Just like that? All we had to do was ask?"

The Jonin shook his head. "Not exactly. They already showed me they got what it takes to take on C-ranked missions, but I wanted to know if they had the motivation to do so."

Pinky noticed he was talking about Uchiha and him. "What about me?"

He simply smiled that her. Naruto snickered.

As luck would have it, the Hokage was assigning the missions today.

"So what will it be Kakashi? Today Tora has gone missing again—"

Naruto's brain flipped in a instant. "Wait! Fuck the C-rank, Get me Tora."

Kakashi looked a bit perplexed and let some sweat drop. "You know what? I think we're ready for C-ranks," he said to the Hokage

The Hokage must have seen the same thing Kakashi saw in Naruto because he agreed. Naruto cursed. But it was fine in the end; he would just have to pick the mission on his own when it wasn't the Hokage giving them. And then Tora and him would be having _loads_ of fun.

"You're in luck. We've just received a mission. A bridge builder needs protection until his bridge is finished. You are to escort him back and see his bridge to completion. Send in the client," he then told a Chunin.

Naruto wasn't very impressed with the client. He looked the part enough, with broad shoulders, toned muscles, and a working attire that had seen better days, but the bottle in his hands kinda ruined the effect.

"And these are the brats that are supposed to protect me? They don't looked the part – especially that flashy blond there, he looks stupid."

Naruto rolled his eyes. He didn't sound better than the villagers here. He whispered to his teacher. "Oi Kakashi-sensei, are all of the clients rude like that? Because they've all been like that so far, and it's fucking annoying."

Kakashi frowned. "Well Naruto," he answered loudly for the bridge builder to hear. "Clients that are that rude usually have a lot of money to pay, so they think they're entitled to do whatever they want. Naturally, they tend to be oblivious to the get that they are in fact accusing the _Hokage_ of poor judgment."

That sobered the client completely. "Wait a sec. I didn't mean that at all! I was just worried about my life, 'cause my project is super important."

The Hokage smiled benignly. "Of course not, but since you don't seem to trust our very capable Genin and their Jonin sensei, maybe you could opt for a team of more qualified Chunin – or even Jonin for your protection. Of course, they require a larger fee."

"No... No I don't think that'll be necessary," the man said at last. "Thank you for your consideration, Hokage-sama."

"Now that the matter his settled, Team Seven, you'll rendezvous with the client at seven sharp, where you will escort him to the Wave Country." He gave the scroll to Kakashi. "You're all dismissed. Naruto, if I could get a moment of your time," he added as Naruto turned to leave.

He waited for the others to leave before he spoke. "Hokage-sama?"

The man pinched the bridge of his nose. He somehow looked older than Naruto remembered. "Naruto, do you have something you want to say to me?"

"Kakashi-sensei didn't tell you? It's like this – I wasn't the dead last, Choji was, followed by Kiba. I was third to last. Sasuke wasn't the rookie of the year, Shikamaru was – and his grades made all the past rookies look like chumps. I know this because I planned it this way so I wouldn't end up in a shitty team, or at best, end up with Shikamaru." The Hokage grumbled as he knew where this was going. "Not only did you bend the rules so that I ended up in a shitty team, but you fucking lied to me about it. And don't think I forgave you about the Kyubi."

"I like you Jiji, but I can't trust the Hokage. So if you don't mind, I'll be keeping my distance from now on." Naruto bowed politely as he left. "Ja ne – Hokage-sama."

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

The same day, Team Ten also left for a mission outside of the village.

This was also an easy mission. They were to go and fetch the report of a Chunin outpost near the border between the Fire and the Earth countries. The trip would take a day at the pace they were going, and Asuma wanted to spend a few days there, for the Genin to learn the ropes of being a Chunin.

Near the outpost, Shikamaru heard a groan. A quick glance told him the rest of his team hadn't heard.

"Asuma-sensei I'll be back in a second."

Asuma, thinking he was going to relieve himself, grunted. "We'll wait for you. Don't take too long."

He dropped down the tree, backtracking towards the direction he thought the sound had come from. As came closer he heard a second, weaker sound of distress. He definitely wasn't wrong then. When he arrived, he almost wished he were.

From a glance, he could tell three things from the woman – She was Chunin, she was from Konoha, and she was badly wounded. Keeping an eye out on his surroundings, he quickly closed the distance. His priority was to stop the bleeding. Thankfully, it wasn't anywhere too problematic, so she might live through this.

While he approached, he opened his radio. "Asuma-sensei, I just found a wounded Konoha kunoichi. Wounds don't look critical, but that could change soon. Here are the coordinates."

The Chunin's focus came back as he was administering treatment. "...Who?" She hissed when he tightened the bandage. "What...?"

"I'm help; you're in trouble," he summarized. "Is there anything I should know?"

"They ambushed me," she slowly rasped.

Well that didn't bode well at all. "Anything else?"

Before she could open her mouth to answer, Shikamaru's ears warned him, and hand grabbed the arrow right before it entered the kunoichi's temple. The second arrow he heard sounded much more menacing. Even with a kunai he had been barely able to deflect it.

"They are still here."

"Yeah, the arrows kinda gave it away," he deadpanned.

Luckily, the Chunin was leaning against a tree. That made it easier to defend her. And the three men in front of him would make sure he did plenty of defending. The three of them wore yukata and katana, and their hair was tired into topknots. His mind screamed Ronin bandits.

The man with the green yukata barked orders at the other two. "Get rid of them,"

After that, things went pretty fast. One moment, the man closest to him spat, the next he was right in front of him trying to slash him from below. A split second kaminari jutsu (Body Replacement Technique) and he saw how the two Ronin cut the log into four neat chunks of wood from where he was, right next to the kunoichi.

Right – ninjutsu and genjutsu them. He had always sucked at taijutsu anyway.

A puff of smoke later and ten copies of Shikamaru advanced on them.

"Clones! Watch out for the one with a shadow – he's the real one!"

He had to admit, that was one of the weaknesses of the clone technique. Immediately the henchmen aimed for the one in the back, he tried to jump back but was cut down mid leap, revealing nothing but the fact it was another clone.

Before they could recover from their surprise, the green Ronin turned to strike at the black ball coming towards him. Only the ball transformed into wire and the man was trapped before he had even recovered from his attack. He wanted to warn his goons but the other two soon shared his fate.

Shikamaru pulled the wire as he rose and the Ronin were dragged down. The Genin rubbed the back of his neck. As he went back to check on the kunoichi, he couldn't even stifle a sigh. He really didn't need this. This was supposed to be an easy mission.

"Shikamaru!" His shoulders sagged with relief when he heard Asuma's voice. "We need to leave, and fast," the man hollered, "There's a large number of bandits coming through here."

Shikamaru's eyes widened. He did not want to meet more of those Ronin. Taking a last look at his attackers, he could see a hint of worry in the blue yukata wearing Ronin he didn't notice in the others. Shikamaru took note of that before he left with his team.

"Are we heading back to Konoha?" he asked his sensei.

"Yes, she might not even survive the trip. We should hurry."

"No." Team Ten looked at the kunoichi who had joined in the conversation. She may look better, but Shikamaru knew she needed medical attention.

"What do you mean?" Asuma asked." Are your teammates in need of help back at the outpost?"

Her eyes looked haunted. "No, I'm the only one left. They're going to invade the nearby village."

Shikamaru frowned. Bandits weren't known to be ambitious. "Is there shinobi in their mists?" he prodded.

He heard a rasp. "Not... Bandit..." she was losing consciousness. He felt dread settle in his chest, but it was wasn't because of her state.

Ino felt nervous as well. "Oh? So what are they then?" she asked.

"Sa... Sa..." But she fainted before she could finish.

Shikamaru twitched.

Choji paled and spoke for all of them when he said, "She wasn't about to say 'samurai', was she?"

If this was how C-rank missions went, he couldn't wait to go back to his boring D-ranks.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

The first day of their trip went without a hitch. Kakashi had taken up the front, while Uchiha and Haruno flanked their client and Naruto brought up the rear. Meaning he had minimal interaction with everyone, especially Pinky, who was busy trying to show Uchiha she had become a real kunoichi.

Still, his mood was off. His gut told him something was wrong, and it took him almost a day to figure out what it was – his client. Tazuna fidgeted. His eyes were shifty. He was expecting something, even with an escort of shinobi. This is what had him in a sour mood. Whatever the old bridge maker was hiding was going to bite them in the ass. He just didn't know when.

His answer came the next day, when a puddle of water turned into two menacing shinobi and they ripped Kakashi-sensei to shreds. Naruto had been able to react to their lunging so he knew the much faster Kakashi would be okay, but that still left him with the two enemy shinobi to deal with. Pinky was protecting Tazuna, but with his barrier seal activating in a few moments that was a moot point. An eye contact with Uchiha and both knew they would be going on the offense.

Fortunately for him Naruto hadn't waited for the attack to get ready. He was already prepared to use his ninjutsu, so when one of the two assassins came at him with a gauntlet aimed at his heart, Naruto extended his palm.

"Air wall!"

There was a visible distortion in the air between the two shinobi. The gauntlet and the air fought, and in the end, it was the shinobi's fingers that broke. Naruto didn't wait for the man to cry in pain; he had already cocked back his fist to slug him. The hook to the side drove the air out of the masked man and left wide open for the spinning roundhouse kick that landed right in the temple. The man flipped once before hitting the ground – hard.

From the other side, the other man felt a tug, and when he turned he saw his accomplice. "Meizu!" Big mistake, a moment later he was hit with a kick before being engulfed in flames.

Kakashi chose that moment to make his reappearance. He surveyed the area and clapped in approval. "That went well; good job kids. Now, for some info gathering. Could you drop the barrier?" he asked. When Naruto did so, he approached their client. "So, anything you might want to tell us?"

The drunkard was clearly frazzled. "What? How would I know the Fire Country was so unsafe?"

Naruto snorted, not amused the slightest. "Drop the act. You've been expecting something ever since we stepped out of Konoha. You lied to us – we could wake up those idiots, hand you to them in a gift-wrap, and we'd still get paid at the end of the day."

Drunkard saw the menacing expression on almost all the people paid to protect him and decided an explanation of the current situation of the Wave Country was in order. Basically, a businessman named Gato had the Daimyo in his pocket and the country by the balls, and the only thing that could save them was a fucking bridge.

"Of course, I lied to you, so go ahead, turn back and leave a poor man to die. I'm sure my gorgeous widowed daughter and my cute grandson will cry and miss me. And of course, you might as well doom my country."

He was laying it on thick, and Naruto was having none of that bullshit. "Don't worry old man; I'll make sure you have a beautiful tombstone. I can already picture it – here lies the dumbfuck that singlehandedly ruined the Wave Country." When the man looked up in surprise, he went on. "Oh, and don't expect your family to mourn you. If Gato is as nasty as you say, they'll probably end up dead soon after you – or worse."

The man had gone horribly pale at that. He looked pleadingly towards Kakashi. "Wait! I'm sorry I can't pay, but you can't just abandon us. I was just trying to save my country."

Kakashi scratched his chin. "That is fine. Lying about a mission and ending on the Konoha blacklist is not. As of a few minutes ago, we aren't required to do anything for you." His lone eye became serious enough to frighten the old man. "And that's not taking under account that your lies endangered not only you and your country, but also my Genin.

You could see fear and desperation on the man's face. "I'm sorry. I was wrong, but I am desperate. Please help us. I'll pay you whatever you want when the bridge is done. Please!"

Kakashi nodded. "Better. I'm not guaranteeing anything, but your attitude is much more tolerable now. I guess it's time to talk to the Demon Brothers then." He did so, it implied threats and screams that even got Naruto cringing. A few moments after it went quiet, Kakashi came back. "So, team, what do you think? Should we help them or go back? Be warned that more powerful shinobi are waiting for us where we're going."

Uchiha didn't hesitate to answer. "We should, it'll give me opportunities to test myself."

"Isn't it too dangerous?" Pinky asked hesitantly. "But if the Wave Country is in so much trouble, we have to help them."

The three of them looked at Naruto. He had three priorities – himself, his friends, and the mission... roughly in that order. And they had no mission and he had no friends... On the other hand, the choice was between returning to Konoha and Aniki, or getting himself killed fighting strong ass shinobi.

"Let's go kick some nukenin ass, then!"

Kakashi nodded and turned to the bridge builder. "It seems you're on luck Tazuna, we'll at least accompany you home."

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

The trip to the Wave Country was uneventful, but the moment Naruto and the rest of his team stepped into the dense forest leading to Tazuna's village, all his internal warning bells went haywire. Something was about to happen.

It was nerves that made him throw the kunai in the bushes. The poor rabbit died, he'd have to skin it for fur and meat later.

"Get down everyone!"

Since Sakura was the closest to Tazuna, she tackled him to the ground. Naruto was already halfway to the bunny so he saw the huge sword spinning madly until it lodged into a tree. He also saw the man standing on the blade like it was Tuesday.

That was pretty cool.

"Zabuza of the Mist."

"Copy Ninja Kakashi – an honor to meet you. I didn't think you were the type to babysit kids though," he said, looking at the Genin. "What'll it be, Kakashi? You walk away now and I can guarantee that I won't come after your children."

"Wish I could, but I have a mission. Now stand down or I will deal with you".

"Suit yourself." Zabuza jumped down, grabbing his huge sword in the process. "I always wanted to know of the rumors about you were true."

"Stay near Tazuna," he ordered the children. "He isn't someone you can deal with!"

At the same time, Zabuza made some handsigns and a thick mist rolled in.

Naruto knew what he had to do without being told. Channeling his chakra, he stomped his foot in a commanding manner. In an instant, the gust of wind blasted the mist away. Zabuza had disappeared in the mean time, but he heard a grunt coming from everywhere at the same time.

"I guess they're not as incompetent as I thought."

In the next moment, Naruto jumped with a reverse roundhouse, hitting Zabuza so hard the man turned into a puddle of water.

"Shit! He can make real clones too?"

"Water clones," Kakashi said near him. "Good job with the mist."

Before he could say more, he was slashed into two by Zabuza. Another Kakashi kicked the swordsman away while his clone became water as well. The fight had reached another level, and so Naruto remained on the sidelines, ready to help at any moment. That's why Kakashi was pushed back by a gentle wind, stopping Zabuza's kick from pushing him in lake.

"You're annoying, brat," Zabuza finally said, leaking a vast amount of killing intent. Naruto cocked his head to the side, not affected at all, before he slowly took a crouching stance before he jumped. "Zankudan (slashing air bullet)!"

There was tremendous force in that jumping roundhouse, but the real kicker was the visible distortion in the air right in front of Naruto. A second later, Zabuza was hit by an invisible airwave with the strength of a bull. It interrupted his handsigns and sent him flying right into Kakashi's water dragon jutsu, and that sent the swordsman crashing into a tree. The two moves were plenty powerful on their own; their combination put Zabuza out of commission.

The Mist Jonin had barely the strength to ask, "What the hell was _that?"_

Kakashi's eye smiled. "That was the child I was supposed to babysit. Any last words?"

Two senbon needles put an abrupt end to Zabuza.

Naruto stared at the young masked newcomer with obvious mistrust. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Thank you for your assistance in apprehending this criminal," the intruder replied, ignoring Naruto's attitude. "We shinobi of the Mist have been looking for him for quite a time."

Kakashi sighed tiredly. "Glad to be of assistance."

A moment later and the teen had left with its bounty. Naruto looked at Kakashi strangely. "You really gonna let them leave like that?"

"Yes."

"You do know that other kid's been here the whole time right?"

"He's probably working with Zabuza, then." The other two Genin gasped.

"So why the fuck did you let them go!?"

"Because I'm about to collapse any second now."

"Oh." The next moment, Naruto caught his Jonin-sensei with a grunt. The man wasn't unconscious, but he wasn't far from it. Probably that Sharingan of his. He looked at Tazuna.

"Still think we're a bunch of brats that don't look like shinobi?" The man shook his head. "Just so you know I was the _weakest_ of my class – the dead last. Those two," he added, jerking his head towards his teammates, " _they were at the top_."

Tazuna blanched, his teammates scowled and Naruto chuckled. He had pissed off his teammates and spooked the old man in one sentence.

Man, he was awesome.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Shikamaru was nursing a headache. "So to summarize, some samurai probably attacked the outpost, and she's the last survivor, and she's badly, but not critically wounded," he said, pointing the woman their Jonin-sensei was carrying. "Oh, and those same samurai are going to attack a Fire Country village. Did I miss anything?"

"They probably sent a few samurai after us as well," added Asuma.

Choji groaned. "This is bad, isn't it?"

"You have no idea," he grumbled. What Shikamaru wouldn't give for a good nap right now. "Where to, Asuma-sensei?"

"The outpost – easier to defend and closer to the village. Choji, carry her. I won't be able to protect you like this." As they settled on a thick branch to transfer the kunoichi, Asuma looked at them seriously. "Normally, this would be suicide. I should have brought you back to Konoha regardless. This mission has turned B-Rank the moment Shikamaru found that Chunin, and will likely turn A-Rank before long. Are you really sure you want to do this?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "I really don't, to be honest. But I'd regret it if didn't do something to save that village. That and Naruto would kick my ass."

Ino snickered. "That he would." Choji gave them a weird look, but said nothing.

Asuma shruggded, but a smile tugged at his lips. "Suit yourselves."

A few minutes later and they had arrived. The outpost wasn't anything too big. From afar, it looked like a small bunker. But that was because most of the structure was underground.

Asuma landed first. "We're here. The first thing we'll do once we secure the perimeter is to set up traps. As of now, they are probably looking for us. So the plan is to capture and gather info on the attack."

There was something nagging the back of Shikamaru's head about that plan, but for now he'd go with until he had something concrete.

The inside of the outpost wasn't pretty; there were signs of skirmishes everywhere and a lot of dead bodies. It has always been drilled inside of him that the most dangerous traits of samurai were their large number and exclusive focus on kenjutsu (sword techniques). From what he could see, more than a dozen warriors had attacked the outpost, to a shinobi, such numbers for a secondary objective was wasteful. It was interesting to see the contrast between quality and quantity.

Further inside he confirmed that the three other Chunin had died. Fortunately, their deaths had been swift. No signs of them finding the secret exit either – probably the way the yet unnamed kunoichi had made her escape. Speaking of, he was due another go at her treatment any moment now.

"The outpost is secure," he heard Ino say.

"No signs of the backdoor being tampered with," added Choji.

"Good. Any of you good with first aid?" Shikamaru saw Ino raise her hand as he raised his. He was glad to see Ino had some knowledge as well. She'd be of help if he weren't there to help the Chunin.

"Wait, how do you know about any kind of medical treatment?" Ino asked.

Shikamaru shrugged. "I'm for the Nara clan. I'm pretty sure that the Nara clan knows more about medicine and drugs than even Tsunade herself."

Hearing that she shrugged and went along with it. But he had no doubt he was going to get grilled about that later.

"Good. I want to ask Ino to take at look at her, but since Shikamaru started, he can deal with our Chunin. The others, you're with me. We'll be making sure this place is a death trap to anyone foolish enough to attack us."

Since both their lives weren't in immediate danger this time, Shikamaru did his best to heal what he could as best as he could. Because of his specialization, he sucked at using yang chakra, which was essential when performing healing jutsu. To remedy this setback, he made use of various medicines and drugs that boosted the body's natural healing power hand made his own healing techniques that much more effective.

"If that syringe gets anywhere near me, I'll kill you!"

He rolled his eyes; how could shinobi not fear kunai and shuriken but shiver at the sight of syringes was beyond him; even worse, he was one of these shinobi. "Some will of fire."

"I'll have you know that my will of fire is just— Ouch! You just stabbed me!"

"This is an analgesic; you're not even feeling pain right now." The death glare he received told him she couldn't care less about that. Shikamaru rolled his eyes again. "Anyway, you should be fine. Don't move too much or the wound will reopen, and you'll bleed to death without knowing."

The young woman gave him another glare before relenting. "I'm Senju Setsuna, thank you for saving my life."

"Nara Shikamaru, I'd say the pleasure's all mine, but I'm still not over the whole samurai in the Fire Country thing. Anything new you want to add about that?"

Her eyes took on that pained expression again. "Not much, they simply swarmed the place. There was so many of them. But they were too good to only be bandits. The way they dealt with us, it was like they knew how to deal with shinobi." Shikamaru had noticed. He had underestimated them as well and nearly died for it. "I barely escaped through the backdoor, but I heard them say they had to silence me, or they would be discovered before they could secure the Windmill village."

Shikamaru didn't want to pry further, but he was dealing with a kunoichi; she'd get over it. "Did you hear anything about the time?"

Setsuna shook her head. "I wish I did. But it must be soon. The next Chunin squad should have been coming in two days, but it might be more than a squad now since they haven't received the transmission today."

Shikamaru blinked before he started scowling. The bad feeling returned. "Is the radio still working?"

"I don't know. A lot of the equipment has been destroyed. I might be able to check—"

Shikamaru stopped her as she started to rise. "Tomorrow. You're not checking anything in your state."

So the radio might be still usable. Without a radio, they would probably send ANBU or Jonin to investigate the deaths of those shinobi in a few days. He then had a horrible thought – would it even matter? If they attacked tonight or tomorrow, this would all be a moot point.

"Shit!" he opened his radio to contact his sensei, "Asuma-sensei! Would samurai be the type to attack at night?"

"Normally, they wouldn't. They'll be ready to defend themselves at night, but for them it's dishonorable, to do so themselves. Why, is something up?" Shikamaru relayed his conversation with the Chunin. His sensei came to the same conclusion as he did. "Damn! They're in a hurry."

Shikamaru agreed. "For them, as long as we don't interfere or get reinforcements in time..."

"They win. They're probably thinking of taking the whole Windmill village hostage. Change of plans. We're coming back to the outpost."

A few minutes later and Team Ten reunited in the same room Satsuki received treatment. There, Asuma explained their next move.

"We have to evacuate the Windmill village – tonight," Asuma concluded. "Reinforcements should be coming in two days at most, and by that time it will probably be too late. There's also the fact that we have absolutely no information about our enemy besides that they are samurai, a little bit of reconnaissance is needed, so here's the plan. I will scout around to draw the attention of our pursuers, while you three sneak towards the village. You'll be in charge of evacuating the village. By force if need be."

"What about me?"

The Senju Chunin was pinned down by two derisive glares. Shikamaru walked over to her and poked her lightly on her bandage. Her face betrayed nothing, but on his third poke, she slapped his hand away and threatened him. "You poke me again and I'll break that finger." Holding her side protectively, she backed away under Asuma's glare.

"As for you? You're wounded," Asuma stated "You're hiding here, and you don't move until we come back for you. Is that clear?"

"But—" Satsuki stopped when she saw Asuma raise a challenging eyebrow. "Yes sir."

"Good. We have no time to waste. Let's get moving."

Shikamaru found an opportunity to approach his sensei as he got ready to leave. He handed him a small bag. "Here Asuma-sensei; for interference."

The man looked at the bag dubiously. "What's in there?"

"Poison." The Jonin's eyes widened comically. Shikamaru nearly sighed. "The poison isn't lethal, but it will stop someone for a day or so."

Asuma-sensei looked at the bag, and then at Shikamaru. "You and I are going to have a long talk once this is over." Shikamaru smiled lazily. The man shook his head. "Well, Team Ten, move out."

Fortunately, the leader of the Windmill village had a good relationship with Konoha, so when three teens came to wake him up barely past twilight, he didn't send them away when he saw their forehead protectors. Within the hour, the evacuation process had started. Ino and Choji were helping at the front, while Shikamaru was making sure no one had been left behind.

In truth Shikamaru was keeping an eye out for a different matter altogether. He was worried the samurai had already infiltrated the village and might report the situation before the evacuation was over, or worse, that they might lead the army to the villagers. And on top of that, Shikamaru wasn't a sensor like Naruto.

Good thing he had his wire traps.

He would keep an eye out for people that would try to disappear in the confusion, while his traps would warn him of an escape attempt if activated. Of course, he would have to catch _all_ the spies if this evacuation was to be successful.

Shikamaru sighed. This promised to be a long day, and they were still in the middle of the night.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **A/N: Like I mentioned two weeks ago, this chapter is late. To make a long story short, I was really busy, without a computer and out of range/line/whathaveyou. In other news, why so few reviews? Anyways, You should get the next chapter by the end of the week.  
**

 **Shun: Let's get this show on the road. Second episode of "Chapter Talks".  
Shika: Yo Shun, is that Satsuki person a recurring character?  
Shun: Probably not, don't worry about it. At any rate, she's not the second coming of Aya.  
Naru: _Thank goodness for that._  
** ** **Shun: Anyways, do you like your missions so far?  
**** **Naru: It's the best!  
** **Shika: It's the _worst_!  
** ** **Shun: What was your first C-rank anyway?  
**** **Shika: A standard bandit mission. A very boring and easy one.  
** ** **Shun & Naru: Boring!****  
 **Shika: *rolls eyes* Boring is best. Boring means you return alive at the end of the day.  
**

 **Shun: Questions?  
Naru: Yeah how fast are we going to go through this mission?**  
 ** **Shun: It'll be over by the next chapter, I think.  
** Shika: Good. This "Arc" should have been over by now.  
Naru: I think so too.  
Shun: *roll eyes*  
**

 **Shika: I have a question, when do they get to meet Aniki?  
Shun: by the end of the arc.** **  
Shika: You think they'll figure it out?  
Shun: Maybe, maybe not. Cyber Cookies and confetti if you find it.  
**

 **Shun: Anyway that's all for today, See you next time!  
** **Naru & Shika: *waves***


	5. Of Waves and Windmills

**The Yin Yang Twins**

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Disclaimer: Naruro and its universe \ canon are property of Kishimoto... And whoever owns Kishimoto I guess.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **5\. Genin Day's: Of Waves and Windmills  
**

 ** _In which Naruto demonstrate he still has that charisma, although it's a bit more crude  
_**

When Naruto and Team Seven arrived at Tazuna's home, he was surprised that Tazuna's daughter, Tsunami, was actually beautiful. She had a very homely feel to her, and the way she worried for her father, welcomed Team Seven, and took care of her house, made him remember quite well that he had no parents. He wondered if he'd ever find someone like that. Suddenly he could see himself with a wife like Tsunami, eating with Aniki's family at his house – maybe with kids running around.

Peace.

"Naruto!"

Naruto wiped the stupid smile of his face and turned to Haruno. The three Genin were eating, and were trying to figure out what to do while Kakashi was sleeping upstairs.

"What?"

Sasuke snorted. "We'll start keeping watch. You take the first and fourth watches, I take second and last, Sakura takes third."

Naruto grew a tick mark. Just who died and made that asshole the one in charge? Unfortunately, they were all of equal rank and Pinky would definitely agree with whatever Uchiha would want. In the end he shrugged. The other boy had made a sensible request. No use fighting over something this stupid, and he could use the time away from then.

Maybe when Kakashi woke up tomorrow, things would be better.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

In the end, Shikamaru caught six suspicious individuals. Two were spies, the others were trying to take advantage of the situation. All were taken away to remain with the villagers, which left Shikamaru the only living being in the village. The sun hadn't come up yet, and that left him with a couple of hours to run his own interference.

By noon the next day, all of the villagers would reach and stay at the rural town to the southeast for a week or two. Shikamaru had assured them that everything would be settled and that they could come back, though he made no promises about their belongings or their homes. However their homes was the reason he hadn't left yet, or rather, the empty village in itself. Asuma-Sensei might be one of the best Jonin of the Leaf and could prevent a great number of samurai of even reaching the village, but the Windmill village would end up under the occupation of the Samurai by tomorrow night. Fortunately, there was no one to take hostage, and that meant that the forces Konoha would sent to reclaim the village would be acting with extreme prejudice.

And he could help with that. A wire trap here, some exploding tags by the main square, some homemade boobytraps over there... in less than two hours, Shikamaru had made the samurai's future occupation even more... unpleasant. He could have have been more creative given more time, but he didn't want to discourage the warriors and have them try somewhere else. He also didn't want to impede the advance of the Konoha enforcers that would be coming. Leaving it at that, Shikamaru rejoined his friends.

He found Choji leading the villagers, but no traces of Ino. He was about to ask his best friend about her, but Ino arrived at that moment.

"We have a problem. Some 'bandits' are lying in ambush about two kilometers behind the hill further ahead."

Shikamaru's shoulders slumped. It seemed the enemy was more thorough than he had assumed. "How many?"

"Three."

"...Right." Shikamaru closed his eyes for a moment. "Okay, Choji, you'll remain here and hide the civilians as best as you can. Ino, we're going to take those bandits down." He probably could take them down on his own, but that was a horrible idea when a simple Mind transfer jutsu could do so much more damage, and more safely too.

When Ino showed him the individuals in question his eyebrow twitched. In the midst of the nearly thirty or so samurai, he found the three he had met before.

"That's a lot more than three," he deadpanned.

Ino had gone horribly pale at that point. She was so upset she didn't even frown at his joke. "But I only saw three of them before. Did they spot me?"

Shikamaru shook his head, deep in thought. "No, most likely we were right about the day of the attack, and whoever's in charge doesn't want the word to spread until they're ready. I don't think thirty anything is anywhere enough to efficiently capture villagers. And, he thought to himself, thirty is too low a number for systematic slaughter of a small village, especially with shinobi guarding them, so they do not know about us connecting the dots."

The question was, what now? Surely alternate roads would be monitored just as well; they had taken the less traveled route for the purpose of avoiding that exact scenario. He also couldn't think of using the untrained villagers against seasoned warriors. And Choji had to stay behind, if only to call for back up if the civilians came under attack.

He had half a mind to trade Ino for Choji, because they were more in need of raw combat potential at this point. What followed next changed his mind. The samurai except for the three Ino had mentioned before left in teams of threes, and went to hide nearby. Shikamaru quickly noticed that they were far enough from each other that attacking a cell would not alarm the others, if they were subdued quickly, and more importantly, silently enough.

Then again, this made things exponentially more troublesome. Never mind the fact that that's how he would have acted had he been in charge. The more he thought about that, the more he felt something was missing here.

"Well, now I'm sure they don't know about us. No use showing us they have the advantage, or their hiding spots. Why did they expose themselves by meeting on the road anyway?"

"Maybe they have a lookout?"

Aha! "Makes sense," he nodded. He would need to take them out first. Shikamaru sighed and took out a weapon scroll. He unsealed it to reveal a black bow.

Ino gapped. "Since when can you use a bow? And where are your arrows anyway?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "Tell you later. Right now we need to find all the lookouts they could have. Judging by their numbers they would have at least two."

Ino gave him a look but helped him. "There's one at ten o'clock, hiding the tall grass." then a moment later she added, "Twelve o'clock, tall tree in the left side of the road."

"Two o'clock, in the bushes."

"Four o'clock. Damn, if we had just attacked them we would have been done for."

Shikamaru nodded before he snorted. "You have better eyes than I, Ino." While she smiled smugly at his compliment, Shikamaru readied four pitch black arrows what seemingly materialized out of nowhere. He methodically drew his bow took aim and hit his targets – all of them headshots – in the span of two minutes.

Ino's jaw dropped about as fast as the lookouts. "Who the hell are you and what the hell did you do with Shikamaru?" she hissed. "I never saw him with bow in his life! Never mind bows that don't make a sound, that shoot arrows made out of thin air, that fly almost as fast as lightning—" at that point she started to mercilessly hammer his shoulder, "before hitting their targets in the head!"

Before Ino could add more, Shikamaru stopped her. "Look, I'd really like to explain, but we only have a couple of minutes at best before they figure out they don't have their lookouts."

Ino stopped her rant. "To do what?"

"To stop them – obviously."

Ino's eyes bulged in disbelief.

"Eh!?"

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

"Today, we're going to learn how to climb trees."

Naruto was not so optimistically cautious about today.

Pinky voiced his disapproval. "But sensei, we already learned to climb trees at the Academy."

"True, but did you learn the climb trees like this?" he asked, walking up the tree horizontally. "This is a chakra control exercise. Your feet are supposed to be the hardest part to channel chakra to. A tip a running start usually helps."

Sasuke went quite high on his first try. Sakura went to the top of the tree on hers. Naruto didn't bother with climbing the tree at all. Instead, he put a foot on the trunk of his tree. He would put and remove his foot several times, sometimes in short bursts, sometimes for minutes. Meanwhile, Sakura trained to increase her rather small stamina and Sasuke increased his top height bit by bit.

Naruto decided to call it quits around noon. By then he had figured the gist of the technique, but he would have to show Kakashi to be sure. He left to train by himself for two hours more, and after that, he went to visit the nearby village. His heart went for the people here. Those people didn't need to suffer because Gato was an asshole or because Tazuna was an idiot. He decided then and there that he would deal with the problem. He would have to think about the how.

When he went back for dinner, he faced two very smug teammates. They were proud to tell him that by the end of the first day, Sakura could run up and down her tree for six minutes before she got tired, as for Sasuke he could run up ten feet before he had to drop off.

"And what about you, Naruto?" Kakashi asked politely.

"He didn't even run up his tree once! All he did was kick it a few times," Sakura chirped happily.

"Is that so? Naruto?"

The blond shrugged. "Well, it did look like that. I'd say my training went pretty well." Sakura snorted and Kakashi smiled. "Anyway, I had a couple of questions about your tree training thing. First, I saw a couple of Genin train on water, does it work the same way?"

Kakashi nodded appreciatively. "Very astute Naruto. That's the next level of the technique. Of course you have to have mastered the tree climbing first."

Naruto nodded. "Makes sense. So my other question is, why didn't you make Sakura walk up and down the tree – it's harder that way and helps her improve her physical strength."

"What are you saying idiot?" Naruto twitched. "Of course running would be the harder of the two, since you use more energy and travel more distance. Isn't right, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi cocked his head to the side. "You would be correct, when taking about chakra. So Naruto, care to explain to her why you're right?"

He rolled his eyes. He didn't know why Kakashi kept trying to have him interact with his supposed teammates, but soon something would happen, and he'd hold Kakashi fully responsible for his actions.

"When you walk, you strain your leg and midsection more. I said physical strength Pinky, not chakra reserves. Besides, physical fitness actually affects chakra stamina, so either way you're wrong." She looked shocked when she realized he was right.

Kakashi ignored her. "As for your question, Naruto, I was afraid that Sakura would quit if the training was too hard."

That comment hit the mark. "Do I look that fragile?" The triple blank stare she got back was answer enough, but Naruto felt the need to drive the point home.

"You're not fragile Sakura – you're weak! And that's all on you. While Sasuke and I are training our asses off, all you do is fucking stand there, look pretty, and be all, 'oh, look at me, Sasuke-kun!'"

Pinky was red, partly from embarrassment, partly from anger. "Oh yeah? And what about you, then? At least I got the tree climbing exercise down! You quit mid-training, idiot! I don't need a loser like you telling me what to do."

Naruto was about to retort when a fourth voice broke the argument. "Why do you even bother fighting each other? You'll all die at this rate anyway."

Naruto almost fell on his back when he heard the kid talk.

"You can fucking _talk_!"

"Naruto-kun. I will ask you to stop cursing in front of my son."

Naruto knew that tone. Ayame used that tone as well. "Fine, I'm sorry," he said without a hint of remorse. He turned back toward the kid. "So, what was that about dying, kid?"

"Gato will kill you. There's nothing you can do to stop him," the kid argued.

Naruto scoffed. "First, Gato won't do shit. He's probably a stupid fatass barking orders and with pockets full of money. What you meant to say was, 'Gato will have you killed'. Second, Gato ain't a shinobi, and we've kicked the ass of the shinobi he sent after us already. If that's all he's got, we got this shit on the bag.

"Naruto-kun!"

"Tough shit, lady!" he snapped back. He saw her flinch and shook his head. "I'll see myself out; I need to cool off."

Naruto didn't come back that night.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

When Shikamaru showed himself to the three samurai on the road, they immediately recognized him and drew their katana.

He raised his hands half-heartedly. "Come on, now; we all know how this is going to end. I haven't really slept since yesterday, so could you cut me some slack here?"

The warriors exchanged a look before the green robed samurai from before made a slow whistling sound.

Shikamaru looked around. "I suppose that is how you would call for the hidden squads of samurai hidden around here, right?" Seeing their troubled faces, he smirked. "Oh, they're fine, really; they just can't hear you right now. You're probably wondering about your lookouts. I got to them first."

Two samurai lunged with desperation, but Shikamaru had took note of their ridiculous speed and had prepared accordingly. He first let a volley of senbon fly. The swordsmen pressed on, certain they could cut down or deflect the dozen of senbon coming their way. They stopped in spite of themselves when suddenly twelve became a hundred. They tried to parry them all, but the intangible ones threw them off. In fact, in their distress and confusion, they failed to noticed Shikamaru had thrown a second volley. In the end, one of the samurai lost the use of both his arms, and the second one found he lost his voice and the ability to breathe.

Shikamaru bound them with shinobi wire before knocking them out properly. He then turned to third samurai.

"Ino?" he asked him.

"Yeah, you'll want to talk to that one," the samurai said throwing his katana away. "I'm not good enough to read minds yet, but I felt he clearly felt trapped – even before we attacked." he then let Shikamaru tie his hands and feet with wire, before he seemingly snapped out of it.

"You!" the real young man snapped, "Do you even realize what you've done?"

"I treated a fellow shinobi for wounds that should have killed her, and protected a village of my country from invasion, preventing many needless deaths." The young man flinched. "You have your reasons, we have yours. Now, do you realize what your army almost _did_?"

The samurai lost the staring contest and bowed his head. "I didn't want any of this. I had no choice!"

Shikamaru gave him a look, before calling Choji via radio. He really needed to sleep, but they had to take care of the civilians first.

Fortunately there were no other setbacks. A couple of hours later and all of the villagers would reach the rural town. It would be far into the afternoon, but better late than never. Team Ten started its way back the moment they knew they had accomplished their mission. And so they would arrive at the outpost a bit after sunset. They had left the defeated samurai in the custody of the civilians, knowing there was one of the fire country's outpost near the town, as it was close to the border. However, they took one of the bandits – the blue ronin from before – with them, at Shikamaru, and surprisingly Ino's insistence.

"Do you think Asuma-sensei is okay?" Ino asked

"I hope so. Samurai from the Iron Country aren't people you mess with," Choji replied honestly. "What kind of interference do you think he's doing?"

Shikamaru thought about it. "I have no idea. I'm sure he's not aiming for casualties, or the people there would grow suspicious. All that I know it's that he's aiming to slow them down."

"Do you think that'll be enough?" Ino asked worriedly.

Shikamaru frowned. "It doesn't matter. Our objective wasn't to stop the samurai army. It was too make sure this didn't turn into an international incident."

They all know what that could lead up to.

War.

The conversation stopped after that, and the Genin kept their thought to themselves.

They arrived at their base and found Satsuki fretting about all of them. She made sure they were all okay, to Shikamaru's annoyance, before her worry turned to anger.

"I recognize you! You're one of the samurai that invaded this place."

Shikamaru turned to his prisoner. "You're in the thick of many of our problems. If I didn't know better I'd say someone was trying to kill you."

The young samurai looked startled for a second, before he relied stoically, "You're talking as if you're not going to kill me."

Shikamaru gave him a chillingly blank stare. "You're talking as if killing you would be the _worst_ thing we could do to you."

The young man stayed quiet after that.

Satsuki gave him a dark glare before she fretted over someone else. "You're sure your Sensei's going to be okay?"

Shikamaru waved her fears away. "He's not a nobody. He's was one of the twelve guardians of the Daimiyo, and he's the son of the Hokage to boot. He'll be fine."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Shikamaru," said a mature voice, "But don't think you're getting away from our talk that easily."

"Asuma-sensei!" Even Shikamaru was relieved to see that the Jonin was unharmed, and quickly joined his team as they surrounded him.

"Don't worry. Everything went without a hitch. I even got a little bonus. He said. He then motioned someone to come over. May I introduce you—"

"Lady Akane! Thank goodness you are safe." The pure relief shocked Shikamaru into raising an eyebrow.

As for lady Akane, she showed a radiant smile. "Sanosuke-kun, you're unhurt. But why is he tied up? Please untie him."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen, lady." The young woman's transformation unnerved Shikamaru. That haughty look definitely wasn't there a moment ago. It screamed nobility. "I don't know about you, but this guy," he said, pointing at Sanosuke, and then he pointed at Satsuki, "tried to kill that woman, definitely killed her comrades, and nearly killed innocent villagers."

The samurai looked ashamed and guilty. The young noble looked out of her depth.

"Surely you can find within yourselves to forgive him – he was put under duress! They were going to kill me if Sanosuke-kun didn't obey."

Asuma blinked. Shikamaru understood his sensei's reaction. That didn't change anything at the end of the day. The Sarutobi heir looked at Shikamaru.

"So, what are you going to do with them?"

He looked at his instructor. This was the Jonin-sensei's duty to deal with prisoners; what was Asuma playing at? Well if he wanted to know what kind of shinobi he was he could always indulge the man.

"You know what? I think lady Akane is right, so let's just release him and be on our way."

The Senju looked murderous. "Excuse me?!"

Asuma whistled, as he visibly saw the samurai wilt. "That's kinda harsh, but I agree." Satsuki gave them both weird looks. Asuma ignored her gaze and went to free Sanosuke.

The young man took a kneeling position as soon as he could. "I beg of you to consider my surrender!" he ignored the loud protests of lady Akane and Satsuki and pleaded with the shinobi. "I'm willing to face the consequences of my foolishness, in exchange for lady Akane's protection."

"Don't be daft Sanosuke-kun! They freed us—"

"They're leaving us to die!" he all but shouted, worry and fear showing clearly in his voice. "We can't go back to Wano, we'll get caught before we even reach the Iron Country borders; and we'll be considered allied with Lord Aoi's rebels – the Konoha shinobi will kill us on sight!"

Lady Akane was shocked, but tried not to let it show. "But, but the Fire Country shinobi are known as benevolent, are they not?"

Asuma's smile chilled the Iron Country citizens. "They are, until you harm what is theirs; then nothing can save you from Konoha's wrath. But since you so nicely offered your surrender. We'll take it."

Shikamaru smiled. His sensei was a shrewd one.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

The next day, Kakashi showed up at the start of their training. "I'll need one of you to keep an eye on Tazuna while they finish the bridge."

Naruto perked up at the idea of ditching his teammates. "Oi, if I go, can I start the water walking thing?"

Pinky answered before Kakashi could. "Didn't you hear Kakashi-sensei, yesterday? You need to master the tree climbing exercise before can even think slot walking on water."

Naruto ignored her completely and waited for Kakashi's reply.

"Show me what you can do and you can go. Begin."

The Genin began their exercises. Naruto waited for the other two to focus on their own training before he started. He put his two feet on a rather high tree, and walked about a meter and stayed there for a minute. When he was sure he could stay on the tree, he stated running up and down the tree at twice the pace Sakura did. Suddenly, a kunai flew at his legs. He jumped over it and continued at the same pace. He deflected a second kunai with his own before stopping. He faced Kakashi while being perfectly horizontal.

"So? Awesome, aren't I?" he asked cockily.

Pinky's jaw dropped. "That's impossible. You weren't even able to do a step yesterday. You must be cheating if Sasuke-kun can't even do it!" Next to her, Sasuke looked angry at himself.

He shrugged. Sakura might have talent for chakra control, but he had a knack for simplification. Apparently, both she and Kakashi belong to the 'chakra control geniuses' category. For normal people like him, that advice about running starts didn't do shit. Since the point of the exercise was really to stick to the tree, he saw no reason to start running up and down. To him it was easier to see how to stick to the tree first. Once he had done so for his feet, it was all about putting enough power into the rest of his body. Kakashi was right about the foot thing.

Also, being a sensor helped a lot, but he wasn't about to share that little secret with his teammates.

And so, today and for the rest of the week, Naruto would train, protect Tazuna from a distance, and try to find a way to handle Gato. He would also give Uchiha pointers when his teammate snuck out to find him. The best part was he only had to handle everyone else around dinner. Unfortunately by the fourth day, the tension around Tazuna's dining room reached its highest.

"Why do you keep trying?" Inari snapped all of a sudden. "Gato will have you killed in the end. Stop playing heroes. They don't exist."

This time Naruto had enough. "Oi, Shit-stain."

"Naruto-kun!"

"Shut it lady, if you don't want to shut him up, I will." This time he ignored the pain and fear on the mother's face and focused on Inari. "So, Shit-stain, let me ask you a question – so we leave, you know? What do you think's gonna happen? What are you gonna do?"

"What...?" the boy looked confused, which only angered Naruto more.

"Oh? You didn't tell him?" he asked the adults of the house. "Of course you didn't tell him. Gato isn't after us, shit-stain, he's after _your_ grandpa." That certainly got Inari's attention. "You said it yourself, right? Gato is cruel and ruthless. So if we go, Tazuna's fucked. But wait, it gets better, because Gato's a bastard, he won't only kill your old pops, he's gonna come after _you and your mom_. So tell me, shit-stain, what are you gonna do _then_? let them die? Cause in case your didn't figure it out yet, that's Kaiza died, because to him, Tazuna, your mom and you, you were worth protecting. _So it's about time you get your head out of your ass._ "

Naruto saw Tsunami's slap coming from a mile away, but made no effort to dodge.

"How dare you!?"

Naruto snorted. "Yeah, how dare I tell him the truth. Don't worry lady, I'm not gonna swear in front your precious little shit stain again, because I sure as hell ain't gonna stay in this shit hole anymore!" He turned to Kakashi.

"You go and protect those ungrateful assholes, I'm done."

He slammed the door before Kakashi could even add a word in.

Naruto walked straight to his training spot and let out some steam by doing a workout. After some training he meditated and hunted for some grub. He caught a rabbit and was reminded of the first meal he shared with Tazuna's family. His heart ached. For once Aniki was wrong. People simply tended to dislike him. Oh, he knew the way he simply spoke his mind didn't help. Deep down he knew he pushed people away, and he knew why too. He just didn't want to hurt anymore.

The worst part was, he actually cared about Inari. He could see himself so clearly in the boy that it pissed him off. He was also jealous; didn't he see how much his words hurt his family? Well, no matter, when he went back to Konoha Aniki would be waiting for him.

In the mean time, Naruto would keep his word. He would show up for training, but besides that he would stay away from Tazuna's family.

Naruto slept with a weary heart, but a clear mind.

Foreign chakra woke him up. Definitely a shinobi at that. He shook the sleep out immediately and took out his spyglass. He could see a beautiful young woman, a bit older than he was, walking his way while picking flowers and herbs. He hesitated before he started on his meditation.

He felt the kunoichi come closer, and then stop. He opened one eye. "I don't know who you are, but I know you're here." He got up. "Please show yourself. Don't worry I don't bite."

Hesitantly, the young girl came out of hiding. "I am sorry to trouble you shinobi-san, but I was only looking for some healing herbs."

"Nah, don't sweat it, I was just about finished with my training anyway." he said he a nervous chuckle. "So what brings you here? I haven't seen anyone around this forest since I got here."

"I've been collecting medicinal herbs for my father. He's bedridden right now."

Naruto nodded. "You need some help with that? I'm kinda bored."

The girl giggled. "My name is Haku. thank you for your help"

The blond smiled. "Uzumaki Naruto – happy to lend a hand."

And so they spent an hour or so collecting herbs and trading recipes. Haku was surprised by Naruto's knowledge.

"I didn't know shinobi would be so well versed in wildlife."

Naruto grinned fondly. "That's thanks to Aniki. He's really good with those."

Haku's smile reflected that same affection. "So you have one too, a precious person. They say people become stronger for the ones they love."

Naruto nodded. He knew the truth of those words. "So Zabuza's your precious person? Is he really your dad? Sorry we had to hurt him." The tension rose to a critical point, but Naruto only rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on! Don't be such a bitch. He was doing his job, we were doing ours; no hard feelings and all that shit, right?"

Haku blinked. "You have nothing against us?"

Naruto waved her off. "Again, you're just doing your job. But that's what I find shitty about the whole shinobi system. That asshole Gato is full of money so he gets to keep being an asshole while other people suffer for it." There was something in Haku's eyes that told him she didn't like Gato either. "Anyway, we're not fighting right now, so I'm cool."

"You know, back there I wondered if I should kill you if you were sleeping."

"Would you?" She blushed and looked away. "I'll take that as a no, then. I suppose Zabuza is waiting for you, so I'll let you go. Too bad we're on different sides this time, your know?"

"It's a shame. Let's hope we all live through this and become allies next time. Oh and by the way, I am a boy."

"Dude, that's fucking messed up! You look hotter than most girls I know."

Haku laughed as he left.

Naruto felt bad. He kinda liked Haku – in a totally platonic way, of course. But they would have to fight. How fucked up was that? Here he was, feeling more at ease with the supposed enemy than with his teammates. Did they really have to fight?

Wait.

Did they _really_ have to fight? Haku made him question his sexuality, but he was alright. Zabuza has almost cut his head off, but that was his job. The real asshole in this story was that fucker Gato. The King, he realized suddenly. Maybe all those Shogi games with Aniki did pay off.

Naruto used his goggles in the direction Haku had left. Good the gi—boy wasn't too far away yet. Time to be sneaky.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Finding Gato's headquarters wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. He didn't know why, but Haku and Zabuza's hideout wasn't even near Gato. You would think that with the shinobi foiling his plans, the man would be smart enough to hire his assassins as protection detail. In the end it made things easier.

Except the whole 'finding that fucker Gato' part.

It took him a whole day to find the place, which really was a five-story high warehouse in the middle of nowhere. Not too close that it could be found, and not too far that you couldn't easily access the town. From location alone, Naruto could tell the man was a shrewd one.

Thinking his target would probably be on the top floor, Naruto used his goggles to get a feel of Gato's security. A few guards, not enough for proper surveillance, unless you counted the cameras. Fortunately for him, the video surveillance didn't cover every wall. One side, with a gate for deliveries, had two large blind spots between the ends of the wall and the gate. That's where he'd slip in.

Naruto sneaked in between two thugs and climbed the wall with the help of the forest training. From what he could see in the windows, the first floor was for storage, while the second had smaller windows he couldn't see through. Third and fourth floors were the henchmen living quarters. The whole fifth floor looked more like a mansion than an storehouse. If he were to find Gato, it would probably here.

In the end, Naruto entered Gato's hideout through the window of a guest room – though he didn't know why Gato would have one since this was a hideout. Anyway, there was a camera installed here, but it was aimed at the door, so they still had no clue about his infiltration. That gave him an idea. He aimed a kunai at the camera and waited.

Surely enough, fifteen minutes later, a grunt came through the door to check on the faulty equipment. Poor fool didn't look high enough and never saw Naruto drop on him. After getting him to cough up the location of Gato's personal chambers, Naruto knocked him out and tied him up. He then transformed into his captive and set out to find Gato.

He made sure to knock out anyone he could find that wasn't under video surveillance. That gave him a good idea of their combat ability – a fresh Academy graduate would be stronger than any single one of them. The room wasn't even well guarded. The grunts were sleeping, booze sitting near their snoring bodies.

Naruto entered some sort of double room, with him being in the smaller room. To the far end of the room, behind sofas, regal chairs, posh tables and what have you, was an ornate door. Listening in, Naruto could hear some light snoring and quiet sobs. Opening the door carefully he saw a young woman on the floor, while Gato was sleeping like a baby.

He couldn't have that.

He walked calmly towards the bed and shook the short business man so he could wake up. The man shot up looking wildly around him, focusing on a smiling Naruto in confusion, before it turned into horror. But as he opened his mouth to cry for help, Naruto punched him square in the face, putting right back to sleep.

All things considered, that had been pretty easy. And he didn't have to fight Haku or Zabuza. The only thing left was that woman.

"Hey lady, um are you from Wave? The woman nodded." He wanted to ask more, but the woman was clearly in shock, and he had to leave. He took one of bed covers, wrapped Gato in it and picked up the woman fireman style. Once he had both, he opened the nearest window and left by the same way he came in and headed for the village.

Naruto stopped once he could see the buildings of Wave Country. He gently dropped his cargo, making sure Gato was still unconscious, and turned to the woman who had yet to talk, let alone move.

"Um, so, here's the village, I'm sure you can get by on your own from here. I got to deal with this piece of shit here," he said while kicking his improvised bag.

He picked up his target and tried to set off again, but the young woman grabbed his arm. He was about to tell her off, but then he saw her eyes swimming in unshed tears. Naruto was really panicking now.

"Now lady," he said nervously, "I'm really not good at that mushy stuff, killing and stealing and all that shinobi stuff, yeah, but—" too late. The woman was already sobbing hard on his arm, holding him like a lifeline. Shit, now he felt like crying. Fucking sympathetic crying shit!

He sat down where he stood, and they spent about an hour there. Naruto spent his time trying to comfort her the best he could, meanwhile making sure to knock out Gato whenever he decided to squirm. Eventually she stopped sobbing.

Naruto tried again. "Look lady, I know what Gato did you was horrible. And I'm going to make him pay for it, but I can't really help you. You need to go back."

After a while the woman nodded. "Thank you. And before she left she hugged him." Naruto watched her leave before he took Gato somewhere secluded.

The two of them would have a nice long chat.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **A/N: I really don't know why I'm deluding myself into thinking I can pump out a chapter every week... -_-'. Anyways, Let's aim for every other week until the end of the arc. Reviews, please... they feed my ego. I'm told any good author needs one.  
**

 **No post chapter interviews for now, but I might update it later today. See you around!**


	6. Back to Konoha

**The Yin Yang Twins**

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Disclaimer: Naruro and its universe \ canon are property of Kishimoto... And whoever owns Kishimoto I guess.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **6\. Genin Days: Back to Konoha  
**

 ** _In which Shikamaru is still lazy, and still unlucky  
_**

Gato really was a piece of shit.

As he found out about his plot to double-cross Zabuza, he also learned the asshole had plans for Tsunami as well. That made his schedule really, _really_ tight.

First, he had to go back to Gato's hideout and find his hidden stash – easy. The hard part was to leave when he found out the second floor was reserved for Gato's 'toys'. He really wanted to wreck the place now, but schedule.

Then, he arrived just in time to see Inari trying to be a hero and protect his mom. As the mercenary decided that playtime was over, Naruto intervened. He caught the katana of one thug as it fell to slay Inari with one hand, and threw a kunai at the second Ronin before he could even think about taking Tsunami hostage. The two thugs tried to focus on him, but Naruto was in a shitty mood, and he was in a hurry, so he might have resorted to usage of excessive force to subdue them. It was just a couple of broken bones really, and apparently that was enough to reduce the men to tears.

Bandits were so flimsy these days.

He gave Tazuna's daughter a flat stare. "Sorry I came back, but this probably the last you'll see of me." He smiled at Inari however. "Nice to see you finally grew a pair, shit-stain. You keep it up, you might even turn out as awesome as me; and I'm fucking awesome! Oh, and feel free to whack those assholes some more if you want."

And with that, he set out to pick up Gato in a hurry, because the bastard had said today was the day Zabuza would attack again.

Couldn't a guy get a fucking break around here!?

When he got where the final confrontation was supposed to happen, he saw part of the bridge in mist. At the edge of the mist he could see Tazuna and Sakura, and further away there was a dome made of light-blue walls. He got closer and could see Sasuke fending off senbon now and then.

Good, nobody had died yet.

"Oi stop fighting guys!"

Obviously that didn't work. He might need to get their attention then. He gathered chakra as he usually did, and once ready, blew the mist away. He then gave Gato a hard shove.

"You're up, asshole!"

Gato stumbled forward before glancing back at the blond. When the Genin raised his eyebrow, he coughed and as loud as he could and said, "Zabuza, stand down! And tell your accomplice to stop."

As for Naruto, he called for Kakashi. The Jonin, seeing that Zabuza had obeyed, moved neared Tazuna, quickly followed by Naruto.

"Naruto, what—"

"Shut it," he hissed. "I'm going to miss the show."

Kakashi, blinked before rearranging his forehead protector and focused on the argument in front of him.

"Excuse me?"

"Y-you heard me Zabuza, I'm voiding the contract; you don't have to kill Tazuna any more." But before the infamous swordsman could argue, Gato took out an envelope, and almost against his will, extended it to the mercenary. He gave Naruto a withering look. "You are still getting paid though, for your excellent work."

Naruto almost lost it when he saw Zabuza stifle a grin. "Is that so?" he took a peek at the contents and raised an eyebrow. "That's more than we agreed on."

This time the businessman paled and have Naruto a pleading look. Naruto simply motioned him to continue.

"This is compensation. I might have had the, er, incredibly stupid idea of betraying you once you and that other shinobi had killed each other." He let out a whimper when he felt the killer intent pouring on him in waves.

"Come again?"

"L-like I said, it was a stupid idea. Fortunately, Naruto—" at that point he was interrupted by a cough and gave Naruto and even more pitiful glare. "...I meant to say, the _fucking awesome Naruto-sama_ , showed me the error of my ways."

Zabuza couldn't help but let out an amused snort, while Pinky's jaw hung low. Tazuna looked like he swallowed a particularly bitter lemon, Haku was giggling like a beautiful maiden and Sasuke's red eyes were twitching. Kakashi sighed tiredly and gave the beaming Naruto a weary glance.

Zabuza gave Gato a glance. "I must admit brat, you trained him well."

Naruto's smile grew wider. "I know right? Isn't that fucking awesome! He even paid me a large sum of money!"

"For what?"

"Because i showed him the error of his ways, of course!" he answered with a nod.

Zabuza raised an eyebrow. "So he truly thought of betraying me." He turned to Kakashi. "I guess your brats aren't half bad, Hatake." Pocketing the money, he turned to Haku. "Come on, Haku; we're leaving. This might actually be enough funds for our next project."

Haku turned to Naruto with a smile. "Thank you Naruto. I hoped I wouldn't have to fight you."

Naruto scratched his head bashfully. "Well, to tell you the truth, I kinda wish we did. Those wall thingies looked fucking cool. Let's say you owe me a spar, next time we meet okay?"

Haku smiled, bowed, and left to join his master.

"I hope you got a good explanation for that."

Naruto nodded and whispered loudly to Kakashi, "Yeah. You might think she's a hot chick, but that's actually a dude."

And Naruto, proud of himself, left to resume his training.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

When Shikamaru finally returned to his village he was ready to fall asleep where he stood. Unfortunately there was still the matter of debriefing they had to take care of, and so they headed to the Hokage's office.

The Hokage seemed to have an idea of what transpired, because they were able to meet him in record time.

The debriefing went as well as they hoped, and if Shikamaru made it sound like he had done much less than he truly had, no one called him out on it. For one, Asuma and Choji still didn't know what happened during the evacuation. As for Ino, he had already told her to keep quiet.

The Hokage remained silent for a moment. "Thank you for the report, our next actions are now clear." he turned to the prisoners. "As for you two... lady Akane is free to go; we can even provide you with an escort back to the Iron Country. The samurai however, will have to remain here, at least until this whole business is over."

Lady Akane looked like she wanted to argue, but Sanosuke shook his head. The Third sighed. "So then, Sanosuke-kun, what shall you do?"

"I am now but a lowly Ronin and a criminal, but if I could, I would ask to live here."

You could have heard the sound of a breathing ANBU.

Shikamaru cleaned his ear. "Excuse me, I thought I heard you say something _ridiculous_ like wanting to defect to Konoha?"

"That is correct."

Lady Akane looked at Sanosuke with wide eyes"Are you _insane_!?"

Shikamaru didn't particularly like lady Akane, but he did share her opinion. The samurai would have not suffered for his rebellion if he escorted the young noble back home. And judging by the worry in her eyes, she was willing to wait for him.

No one in their right mind would forgive desertion, or outright defection.

That line of thinking would have to wait, because he felt his eyelids drop. He had gotten very little sleep since the mission began, and it's not like he hadn't heard arguments before. A nap sounded nice...

"Shikamaru!"

He snapped to attention, disgruntled. Everyone was looking at him, now. "What?"

Ino shook her head. "You were sleeping standing. How do you even do that? I know you're tired, but—"

"Choji has stopped eating since the evacuation; he's too tired to eat. Your eyes are bloodshot, and I can see some traces of wri—"

"Finish that sentence and die, Shikamaru!"

"...And you're cranky," he continued, too tired to be afraid. "We're all tired; you're just jealous I can sleep standing," he shot back.

Choji snorted. "Don't make m'laugh Shikamaru, m'too tired to laugh," he slurred.

The Hokage made a face before sending the Genin away. Shikamaru could swear he heard the man murmur, "I'm too old for this shit."

The young Nara made sure he exited the building before chuckling to himself. He then marched straight home, entered his room by the window and fell on his bed fully clothed. He'd probably hear it from his mom, but he was too tired to care right now.

In fact, Shikamaru didn't care about anything for the next twenty four hours. He would have slept longer if not for his mother – his father had skipped on his duties again and he was home to pick up the slack. Asuma's invitation to play Shogi waited for him when he came back from his father's duties. Reading between the lines, Shikamaru understood they would have that _talk_ mentioned beforehand.

After a helpful nudge from his mom, he set out to meet his sensei at their usual training ground. Without a word, the two set up the board. Asuma took out a cigarette and the game started. Their strategies were starting to take shape when Asuma broached the subject.

"So, how strong are you?"

Shikamaru paused, both to answer and think about his next move. "I can't really tell because I've only compared myself to my old man, but I'd say around Chunin level – maybe more, maybe less, I'm not certain."

They were silent for a moment.

"Who's Aniki?"

Shikamaru gave his opponent a look. "This has nothing to do with you or Team Ten."

"On the contrary. I'm guessing that either this 'Aniki', Naruto, or both are the reason you became stronger and less lazy. If those two are the reason there's a wedge between you and your father on top of that, I would like to know, because I don't want to make the same mistakes."

Troublesome.

He was about to answer when they were both interrupted by a familiar kunoichi.

"Shikamaru! We need to talk. Oh, hey sensei."

"Go away, troublesome woman; I'm busy." He really didn't need this right now. Asuma was actually taking the game of Shogi seriously; that meant he was more unorthodox and provided Shikamaru with a decent challenge.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't try to dodge the question, Shikamaru."

"I'm not, but none of the reasons you mentioned are vital. I don't have to answer anything about Aniki because doesn't affect the team, which is what you're worried about."

He turned to Ino and then he saw an evil glint in her eyes. "Ino, whatever you're thinking of doing, don't. It won't end well."

"What, you mean ask about the fact that you took out thirty samurai by yourself?"

Troublesome girl.

Shikamaru gave the Shogi board a once over and displaced his silver general. "Mate in four moves." He then got up to leave.

Asuma tried to find a way out, but in the end he saw the same thing the young Nara had seen. "You may have won, but haven't finished talking for today."

"Actually, we have. I'm not talking about Aniki and there's nothing you can do about it, because you have nothing on him; that means no proof. As for what Ino so conveniently blurted out, no one saw what happened and so I'm not obligated to tell the truth. I could say I knocked them out with sleeping gas and be done with it. You have no proof either way."

"Shikamaru, you promised!"

He scoffed. "Yeah, I promised I'd tell you if you kept your mouth shut. I knew I could count on you to slip up, Ino." With that said, he walked away. At this time of day there were plenty of sleeping spots.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Naruto was finally going back home. He didn't know why Kakashi had insisted on staying until the bridge was finished, but now he could finally see Aniki again. In the mean time, the only thing Naruto could do was train. As fun as that could get, without anyone else he could fool around with, even that had grown stale.

Naruto had kept his word. Even after dealing with Gato and his machinations, he hadn't set a foot in Tazuna's home, and after a few days he didn't enter the village either. The problem was his face was too easy to recognize, and after he and the rest of Team Seven had dealt with Gato's hideout, people practically worshiped him. While he appreciated the sentiment, he hated the attention. It reminded too much of the kind of attention he got back home. In the end, Naruto stuck to the forests, making sure to report his good health to Kakashi every morning.

Speaking of Kakashi... "Hello Naruto," The Jonin said, "You owe me a chat."

Naruto grinned. "Sure, Kakashi-sensei. What can I do for you?"

"Naruto, how strong are you?"

Naruto cocked his head. "Overall? Aniki told me we were about Chunin level. I focus on combat and fuinjutsu, and I know that in fuinjutsu I'm above Chunin level."

"And I suppose Aniki is about on par with you?"

Naruto shivered when he thought of the answer. "Yeah, except he sucks at combat. He says true shinobi don't fight. They trap, they ambush, they capture, they assassinate, but they don't fight.

Kakashi blinked. "...This 'Aniki' of yours is scary."

"Yes!" He nearly shouted. "I don't get how people can't see how scary Aniki really his." He coughed to hide his embarrassment. "Anyway besides those, I'm good at stealth, and infiltration."

Kakashi nodded almost absentmindedly. "What about ninjutsu?"

Naruto shrugged. "I'd say only one – besides the basics of course. More like a super futon jutsu."

"I didn't know wind chakra recomposition counted as ninjutsu these days."

Naruto smiled impishly. Kakashi was underestimating him. "Tell you what, if you can tell what I'm doing, without your Sharingan, I'll explain it to you." Then he took a breath and transformed his chakra. After that, he took a kunai and made it float.

"So you're using chakra to make the kunai float that's not—" Kakashi stopped talking when the throwing knife started flying around on its own. "Okay, I'm actually impressed."

Naruto made a mock bow. "Thank you. So, anything else?"

"Why yes, how about you explain why Haku seemed to know you? Or better yet, give a full account of everything you did – in written form, of course."

"You're issuing me a report?" Naruto's eyes grew wide, before turning mutinous. "That's fucked up! Genin don't write reports!"

Kakakshi raised a knowing finger in rebuttal."Ah, but aspiring Chunin should, since they are called to lead teams." Seeing Naruto's face he added, "Consider this punishment for acting on your own during a mission." That only served to make him scoff. "Naruto, I'm serious. You may be a shinobi now, but that doesn't mean you should throw your life away. You might not see it, but people worry about you.

The boy sighed. "I know. And I understand where you're coming from, but besides Aniki, people don't really care. I'm used to do stuff on my own. And no offense, but look how well it worked out."

"Nonetheless, your team is there for you to rely on."

"I know how teamwork works, Kakashi," He answered a bit testily. "We basically have two teams. You and me, and you and the others. They don't want to work with me. I don't want to work with them. I can work with others, if they can work with me. That's how I work."

There was a heavy silence. After a while Kakashi shrugged. "I understand. As for your second punishment, you're coming with me to dinner."

The fact that dinner could only meant he'd have to returned to the small village had him on edge. "Where?"

"Tazuna's, obviously. I hear Tsunami's giving her all on this last meal. Ever since that night, she has put a plate for you. She feels really bad for what she did."

Naruto snorted. "Why? I swear a lot, she has rules. I did nothing wrong. Let's just agree to fucking disagree."

"You also saved her whole family and got through Inari."

"Nah, he dropped a pair by himself. That's what happens when you're put to the test."

They kept talking until they neared the damn house. Naruto felt awkward simply seeing the building. "Can't you give me another punishment?"

"I could make you stay there for a week."

"You suck Kakashi."

They entered the place and already Naruto wanted to leave the place. The fact that there was a spot for him – hard to miss, it was the only one with a steaming bowl of ramen, was disturbing enough. The fact that Tazuna's family were looking at him with smiles even more so.

All kinds of warning bells went off at the new same time. Screw Kakashi, he was leaving.

This was just too fucking weird.

Only there was the sound of a door lock, and when turned back, Inari was blocking the way. Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You know, I can break you _and_ that door, right? Probably at the same time too." The boy still refused to budge. The unyielding look he wore annoyed Naruto to no end.

"Fine, whatever." He turned back and sat in front of the ramen. Maybe they would leave him alone if he ignored them.

The ramen didn't even taste as good as Ichiraku's. Then again, he hadn't eaten ramen for almost a month. He was about to comment on that when he saw the painfully hopeful look on Tsunami's face.

"I hope you like it. It's been a while since I made some ramen."

Fuck! He couldn't say what he wanted to say now – he'd sound like some asshole. "No, it was great."

There was a sudden glint in Tsunami's eye. "Would you like some more then?"

Naruto gave her a wide-eyed stare. "You mean you have more ramen?"

Needless to say, Naruto ate many more helpings of ramen that night.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

"So then she keeps making that ramen – about as fast as I could eat it. And when I was full she kept hovering over me, asking questions about my friends and my family and the next time I was supposed to go back and shit. I almost snapped at all of her nosiness."

"Uh huh," Shikamaru commented noncommittally as he slurped his noodles. "Sounds like a typical mother behavior to me."

Naruto shook his head. "Dude, she's not my mom! Hell, I barely even know her."

"But you saved her life. And you saved her son's life. And you like her food. I'm surprised she didn't adopt you or marry you."

Naruto looked sick. "That's fucked up, Shikamaru. Anyway that's not the worse part. They named the fucking bridge after me."

Shikamaru spat out the tea he was drinking. "They did _what_?"

"The Great Naruto Bridge. I tried to talk them out of it – they nearly made a riot. Fuck you, Shikamaru! it's not funny." He whined.

Shikamaru ignored the blond's pout, toned down his laughter, and focused on what he saw behind Naruto's mask. "So, what aren't you telling me?"

"...They wanted me to stay."

Ah. That was troublesome. "Naruto, we talked about this. It's okay for them not to know."

"No it's not!" he snapped back, clearly upset. "I know, it would put them in danger. I thought of that, you know? It's just... How do I know they really like me if they can't know?"

What, the Wave Country citizens couldn't know about went unspoken, but anyone with a functioning brain could tell you they were talking about Naruto's tenant. That was another debate they often had. This one lead straight to another point of discussion.

"Which is why you should be making friends – preferably inside of Konoha." Shikamaru argued back.

"Just that uh? I don't see you making any new friends."

"I already got friends." Shikamaru's face lit up. "Well, as it happens, I made a new friend recently. When you're finished with that bowl, we'll go and meet him."

Naruto looked unsure. "Ah, well..."

Shikamaru gave a reassuring pat on the back. "Don't worry, you'll like him. You haven't heard how my mission went, have you?"

Naruto looked eager to hear, so Shikamaru explained on the road. He was explaining the evacuation when they arrived at a park near the market district.

"Your friend is a sculptor?" he looked at the artist with a smidge of disappointment. "I admit the statuette is pretty cool. Did you meet him at the market or something?"

Shikamaru ignored his friend and greeted the young man. "Sanosuke, meet Uzumaki Naruto,"

Naruto gave a little wave. "S' up."

The sculptor sighed. "Your friend lacks manners, Shikamaru-dono, as do you."

Shikamaru snorted. "You should be used to it by now. You got used to losing at Shogi pretty fast. How is your wife?"

Sanosuke frowned. "My _fiancee_ is out shopping with Yamanaka-dono. I am afraid she is adjusting too well Considering the circumstances."

Meanwhile Naruto gave the young man a thorough visual inspection. his eyes suddenly widened. "Wait a fucking minute. Your friend is a _samurai_?"

Shikamaru answered with a brilliant smile and chuckled when Naruto started a riot. Inside he was amazed by Naruto's insight. It was surprising how many times his instincts could equal, even exceed Shikamaru's intelligence. It was also nice to see Naruto genuinely excited about something. He had to admit, from a shinobi's point of view, chakra-enhanced samurai were pretty novel.

"Hey, I heard samurai could cut steel like it was nothing. Would you mind?" And before either Shikamaru or Sanosuke could object, Naruto threw his kunai. The blade split neatly into two and separated in front of Sanosuke.

Shikamaru once again marveled how he escape his encounter with three of those monsters – he didn't even see the man draw his blade, let alone cut the kunai. He let out an impressed whistle and turned to Naruto, who was transfixed. The blond suddenly let out a squeal, jumping up and down. Shikamaru admitted the move was cool, but did the idiot really need to react this... extremely to it?

"Shikamaru, did you see that? Did you _feel_ that?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "Yeah, he was pretty fast and used a bit of chakra but—"

"Don't you get it," he shouted right next to him. Every word was punctuated by a rough shaking, confusing Shikamaru even more. "It was all chakra! That samurai doesn't _even have a katana near him_!"

Shikamaru blinked once Naruto stopped manhandling him. Once the words registered he gave Sanosuke a look of pure disbelief.

Sanosuke nodded, somewhat impressed. "Most impressive, Uzumaki-dono. You have sharp eyes, and an even sharper spirit. You would have made a fine samurai, had you been born under different stars."

Shikamaru's mind tried to catch up with his mouth, that opened and closed without sound. Those samurai were no freaking joke. "How strong are you?"

"I am but a simple initiate, Shikamaru-dono. For you, it would be the rank you call Genin, yes?" Shikamaru stopped breathing. "But I was due a promotion at any moment, so you can consider me at a rank around Chunin, I think?"

No wonder the shinobi everywhere wanted nothing to do with Tetsu no kuni. A samurai could easily be on par with a shinobi. In a way they were more dangerous since they specialized in combat.

Naruto's eyes sparkled. "Oi Sanosuke, could you train us?"

"Naruto, you shouldn't ask him that. He's from the Iron Country – it's pretty much treason."

"But think of how much more awesome I could become."

Sanosuke decided to answer. "I'm sorry Uzumaki-dono, but Shikamaru-dono is right. Those are secret teachings I am forbidden to share with foreigners. The most I can do for you is spar, as much as you need."

Naruto deflated. "Fine, I guess that's all you can do."

"Then again, I already know all the theory, and it's not like I actually want to go back to the Iron Country – they would have me commit seppuku."

Naruto's eyes lit up. "You mean...?"

"I _could_ teach you some of the basics. On two conditions." The samurai waved him over. Naruto went and they purposefully spoke by only moving their lips so that Shikamaru couldn't hear them. Suddenly they looked at him with an identical glint in their eyes.

For some reason, he didn't like those looks.

"... What?"

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Naruto still felt tired the next day.

He had decided they would start training that day and dragged a kicking and screaming Shikamaru with him. Samurai were fucking brutal! With only a couple of hours in, Naruto had learned about muscles that he never knew existed, and he worked them until they burned. And after that their new instructor proceeded to beat them to an inch of unconsciousness – repeatedly. Thankfully his bruises healed rather quickly. He then chuckled; Shikamaru didn't recover as quick. The guy must be cursing him right now.

As for Team Seven, they were back to doing D-rank missions. He didn't mind, their first mission outside of the village was considered a clusterfuck of legendary proportions – as in no one has disregarded so many Konoha rules in less than a month. His ear still rang from the Hokage's rant. He thought he did all right by his standards, then again he didn't make the rules.

Returning to the boring job of an errand boy came with one perk – the work was mostly silent and needed much less teamwork. That also meant he would get to have his fun with Tora. He just had to patiently wait for a day when the Hokage wasn't handling the missions. He would be patient, and if Shikamaru got the fur-ball before him, well, that would be a bummer.

That left the whole lot of nothing between the meeting time and the actual meeting. Naruto could have gotten away with training before, but now that his teammate had become a copy machine he was weary of going through his full routine.

Naruto had no problem sharing, but flat out stealing from him, especially experience, was a good way to end up on his shit list. And believe it or not, there wasn't a lot of people there.

"Naruto."

He blinked in confusion. He had been called by his name by one of his teammates – that hadn't happened until now.

Uchiha rolled his eyes. "I asked you what you thought about the Wave mission."

Naruto cocked his head on the side. "It was a failure. There wasn't much teamwork. That's what Kakashi thinks, anyway. I think... He's right. I totally would have been better off with Aniki." He shrugged, and then shuddered. "I also think Tsunami is batshit, but that's not really relevant."

The Uchiha nodded absently even through the part about Tazuna's daughter. "Do you remember when we talked about the Sharingan?"

Naruto cringed. "Right, you did say something about kicking my ass once you got your doujutsu." The problem wasn't so much he couldn't kick the guy's ass, because let's face it, he was awesome like that. He just didn't have the motivation to do so. They could tolerate each other now, and that was loads better than the alternative.

The Uchiha snorted, but he didn't look angry. If Naruto didn't think know better it almost seemed that the mission to the Wave did more for the other boy than just give him a pair of red eyes.

"So, what died and crawled out of your ass?," he asked, for once curious about one of his teammates. "Because I'm pretty sure this the first time since we're a team that you started a conversation."

Sasuke smirked. "I'll tell you – after our spar."

Naruto muttered as he moved towards the sparring area. "Fucking Bastards getting cocky 'cause they got asspull doujutsu."

Sasuke answered by getting up and moving towards the open field, he already had his red eyes trained on him.

"Call the fight, Haruno."

Before Sakura even opened her mouth, Naruto deactivated a seal under his jacket. The next moment Sasuke was upon him. From what he guessed, Sasuke wanted to neutralize his fuinjutsu and ninjutsu; a good plan considering what he had shown so far.

Naruto turned his body to dodge and used the momentum to counter with a spinning back fist. He connected hard with Sasuke's arm, using the impact to change the direction of his rotation. In the time of a blink, Naruto was attacking Sasuke's shins with a vicious low kick from the other side, than again changed sides to aim a spinning roundhouse to his opponent's head. The Uchiha dodged the kick and the left hook that came right after, but not the spinning crescent axe kick that followed. The strike blew through the Uchiha's hasty guard to deliver a solid concussion. He was in no shape to even see Naruto's sweep coming.

Naruto stood up and backed away to channel his wind. "Preventing me from using my fuinjutsu and ninjutsu was a good idea. Too bad that won't work on me."

He heard a groan. "Your taijutsu is weird." Nonetheless, his opponent got up and tried again, only to literally hit a wall. Naruto smiled as he saw Uchiha back away and take a look at his injured fist "What the hell was that?"

Naruto's smile grew "That's the jutsu I used against the Demon Brothers. I call it Air Wall. You ready to call it quits?"

"You didn't use any handsigns either," He noted, and Naruto's smile turned feral. The Uchiha shook his head. "Doesn't matter. You're still stronger than me. And you showed me that teamwork doesn't have to be only about people holding you back. You and Kakashi did your part for the mission without having to do everything together – this is the kind a teamwork I'm looking for."

Naruto blinked before he face cleared up. Kakashi's vision of a team implied too much combination and versatility to Uchiha's taste – and Naruto's to be honest. The boy was aiming a more focused group with specific roles – roles that would give him the freedom to refine his fighting skills. Fortunately, Naruto was strong enough that Sasuke didn't feel the need to look elsewhere to test his strength and progress.

"Why are you so strong," he asked out of the blue.

"Say that again? I'm a shinobi – I'm supposed to be strong."

"You know, I never understood why you didn't want to be in my team. At first I thought it was because you liked Haruno, but now I know better – you have a plan we're slowing you down. I thought you'd be holding me back, but it's the opposite, isn't it?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. Of course Uchiha would find a way to make it about himself. He shook his head in amusement.

"You're right – I am stronger than you, even with your doujutsu. But I actually wanted us to be a team." He chuckled at Sasuke's surprise. "Well, I knew it wouldn't work, but I tried to be as normal a helpful as could; you thought I was a hindrance, she hated me anyway. Thing is, I don't have to put up with your shit, so I won't. But I need have to admit, since those spars a few weeks ago, you've been pretty decent. Also I do enjoy teamwork – just not with you guys. And besides that..." He hesitated, before he shook his head. "You know what fuck it. Come here Pinky. I'll tell you too."

At that instant, Kakashi made his appearance. "Do you really think that's a good idea, Naruto? You might not like the results."

"Do you think I actually give a shit?" Naruto laughed at his sensei. "I just want to prove Aniki wrong for a change."

And so Naruto told them what the Hokage told him, verbatim. They were all quiet for a while. Pinky, being herself spoke first. "That's why my parents always told me to stay away from you. But you— you're not the Kyubi itself are you?"

Naruto snorted. "What I told you is what the Hokage told me, and Kakashi knows, so you can ask him if you want."

Uchiha frowned. "Is that why you're stronger than me? is it because of the Kyubi?"

Naruto laughed loudly at that. "Yeah, you would think that. You're wrong – again. I don't use it. Trust me if I had you would have known. It's, ah... quite obvious. Let me show you."

Before Kakashi could put in a word of caution, Naruto took out a fuinjutsu card, only this one was pitch black. The Jonin stopped curious about what would happen next. "You might want to brace yourselves," Naruto warned. He then coated the card with his chakra and threw it away. The surge of Biju chakra wasn't big, but it was enough to shock the other two Genin.

Naruto shivered. That that pressure of sheer power never got old. The Kyubi is scary as fuck. He saw Kakashi sweat. That thing even got Jonin on edge. Man he was glad he made his choice years ago. It would be pretty tempting to use this power against the village. The perfect revenge.

Sakura had been more affected than the others. Her pale face and trembling frame had Naruto guessing her reaction before she even voiced them. "I can't believe they could put you in a team with us? You're already hopeless, using the Kyubi to get ahead of Sasuke-kun. What if you lose control? What if the Kyubi breaks out?"

Naruto had expected that accusation to hurt; he had held a crush for his pink-haired teammate for the longest time. Instead he felt relief. Like he could finally let go of his infatuation and move on. And the best part was he had proven Aniki wrong – there was no way for him to make friends here. Look at how his own teammates had treated him. Maybe now he would leave him alone.

He took an invigorating breath. "Thank you for proving my point, Pinky. You're no different from the villagers that never saw me. You know, once upon a time, I liked you. I stopped eventually, when I learned about self-esteem. Now though, I must congratulate you – you're the first person my age I added to my shit list." Pinky paled dramatically. Yeah, maybe pissing off what you thought was one dangerous monster was a _fucking stupid idea._

"So, training today, Kakashi?"

That particular Team Seven training day was tense.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **A/N: About this chapter: Shikamaru returned _weeks_ before Naruto did. I have good news and bad news. Good news is, next chapter should be coming _very_ fast. Bad news is, next chapter is probably the last chapter of this arc, so I'll be on break for a month or so.  
**

 **Well then, take care folks!**

 **Oh, and if anyone of the hundred people following this story are good at beta-ing. I could use your help.**


	7. One Last Test

**The Yin Yang Twins**

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Disclaimer: Naruto and its universe \ canon are property of Kishimoto... And whoever owns Kishimoto I guess.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **7\. Genin Days: One Last Test**

 ** _In which Naruto has a brother, and you really should have seen it coming._**

Shikamaru had to admit Asuma's news that Team Ten would take on another C-ranked mission so soon after the last one surprised him. You would think after the encounter with the samurai they would have a break. Or at least, that's what he would do.

Apparently, Asuma wasn't as lazy as he thought.

"This mission is a bit special; I will not be leading this mission."

Shikamaru quickly understood the implications of such a statement. "Aren't we a little... inexperienced to be handling a mission on our own?"

Asuma shook his head. "You are, but as I said, this is a C-rank mission; the risks you'll be taking will be minimal."

Shikamaru stared at his sensei. Surely he didn't forget their last, and incidentally first C-rank. Asuma probably read his mind, because he coughed.

"Anyway, this will be a great test of your abilities. And please, take this seriously; taking your behavior during the last mission into account, I might find you good enough to get a shot at a promotion."

The Genin of Team Ten exchanged looks of interest. "You really think we'd be ready for the Chunin exams?" Choji asked.

"I have no doubt about it," the Jonin answered, his eyes on Shikamaru.

He got the point. This was a test of leadership as much as it was a test of their skills. Still, their sensei thought they were Chunin material. Being a Chunin was essential to both plan A and plan B, and so Shikamaru would be stupid to ignore such an opportunity. That he could end up the next fastest promoted Chunin in history was just a bonus.

He yawned. "I think I get the point, not that I have a right to refuse anyway."

"Glad you see things my way." Asuma rolled his eyes before they took on a mischievous glint. "Oh, and this is a joint mission, by the way. Meet your new teammates."

Shikamaru groaned. Couldn't he have just _one_ normal C-rank? With his new partners, the answer was a guaranteed no. He turned to complain to his sensei but before he could open his mouth, Naruto caught him in a headlock.

"Shikamaru!" he greeted, half smiling, half threatening. "Buddy old pal... _why_ _aren't you fucking glad to see me_?"

Shikamaru managed to escape the blond's grip. "Because we're on the same mission."

The two glared at each other for a moment.

"Is there anything wrong, Naruto?"

Naruto beamed. "Everything cool, Kakashi-sensei! I'm just catching up with my buddy here."

The grey-haired Jonin gave the teens an appraising glance. "I guess no one has objections to the mission?" Shikamaru wanted to raise his hand, but a quick jab in the ribs put a stop to that. "Good. Your mission is to get rid of some bandits. Woodland Town is famous throughout the Fire Country for their superb craftsmanship. They also offer one of most durable materials because of the forest near their village."

Uchiha snorted. "Let me guess, that forest is perfect for a bandit hideout."

"Unfortunately yes. You need to get rid of those bandits, the customers get their furniture, the village gets its income, everybody's happy."

"No enemy shinobi?" Choji asked.

"None that we know of. Any other questions? Good. Asuma and I will be around; we'll be close enough that we'll be able to keep an eye on your progress."

That being said, the two Jonin vanished. Shikamaru looked around and saw the scowl on Naruto's face. An amused grin showed on his face. "Oi, they still haven't taught you the Shunshin (Body Flicker) yet?"

"Fuck you Shikamaru."

He scoffed before he looked at the rest of the team. "So, anybody know where we're going?" Judging from the clueless looks, he was the only one who noticed they weren't given a direction or even a mission scroll.

This mission...

He sighed. "Woodland Town is close to Otafuku Gai. We have to head east."

He stopped and turned when he heard a distinct lack of walking. There was a standoff between Uchiha and Haruno, and the rest of the group.

Shikamaru heard the boy's grievance. "I don't remember him being appointed as the leader here."

This mission...

"You want to be the leader? I don't mind—"

A chop to the throat shut him up, and Naruto spoke in his stead. "I do. He doesn't even know where we're going. Shikamaru is the leader; he's got my vote."

Before he could protest, they had reached a stalemate; Ino and Haruno had voted for Uchiha, Choji and Naruto had taken his side.

Naruto gave him a dark look "And if you think about quitting Shikamaru, I _swear_ —"

He paled under the threat. Right. If it came to one of Naruto's pranks, he'd rather deal with leadership. That's probably what would end up happening had it only been Team Ten anyway.

Now, how was he going to be deal with Uchiha? Haruno was not worth the effort, but Ino...

Oh boy.

She hid it well, but Shikamaru could see the gleam in his teammate's eye. One more thing she had that Haruno hadn't; a very opportunistic mindset. A good trait to have for any proper shinobi.

"What do you want Ino?"

She smiled. "Oh, nothing from you. Don't worry."

Naruto flinched. Apparently it had something to do with him. Fitting, since he was the one adamant about Uchiha not being in charge. Shikamaru looked at the blond; would deal with the devil?

In the end Naruto groaned. "What do you want, Ino?"

Said kunoichi took Naruto by the arm so they could negotiate. When they got back, Naruto looked defeated, even though Ino was now on their side. Shikamaru wondered what Ino had asked for, but then thought better.

Still, this mission was trouble enough; they hadn't crossed the gates yet, and the usual suspects were already being troublesome.

"Let's just get this over with," Sasuke said. Clearly he liked being in charge. Still, Shikamaru agreed with him, the faster this mission was over with, the more time he had to slack off when this nightmare was over. He gave the order and they moved out.

The trip was relatively trouble-free, aside from Sasuke questioning his every decision. More than once Shikamaru wanted to let the arrogant idiot in charge, but Naruto didn't want to hear it. Interestingly enough, Ino truly supported his decisions as well. He was glad to see his teammate able to hold up her part of the deal even against Uchiha.

Still...

"Naruto, I thought you and the Uchiha weren't enemies now. What's with the attitude?"

Naruto shrugged. "That's the thing; he's only okay with me."

Shikamaru smirked. "I hope I get to be the best man."

"Fuck you, Shikamaru."

As they left the forest, Uchiha let out one last complaint. "Why are we heading to the village? What a waste of time! They're just bandits."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "So I've been told. I'm lazy though, and I like to be thorough, so let's gather information."

Uchiha growled. Haruno fussed over him. The others followed his lead.

Three minutes after he entered the Woodland Village, Shikamaru could already tell something was off. The anxiety he could see in the eyes of the folks here, bordered on terror. What kind of bandits could instill so much fear? He had expected the lumberjacks and the artisans to be worried since their livelihood had been cut off. The people here feared for their very lives – he couldn't even see kids outside. The rest of the team had also picked up the tense atmosphere, and for once, Uchiha made no sarcastic comment.

Shikamaru entered business mode. "Let's split up and find some info. Remain in the village," he added for a particular brooding Genin. Fortunately, Uchiha had nothing bad to say; he got to work on his own, which was great for him and for them. Haruno and Ino left in the same direction Uchiha went, so Shikamaru put little hope in those three. In fact, he didn't even try to talk to anyone; he tried to find a good hiding spot.

Shikamaru had always found that people were wary of sharing their trouble with perfect strangers, especially when these strangers were a bunch of kids. He quickly learned the art of eavesdropping to fix this. Coupled to his enhanced hearing, he was very good at gathering information – a vital trait for any proper shinobi.

Once he was suitably hidden, he waited for one of his teammates to question a pair of disgruntled folks drinking their tea; to be more precise, he waited for the comments that would be coming after said teammate, Choji in this case, had left. He wasn't disappointed.

"Kids these days, throwing themselves in all kinds of trouble."

"Thank goodness you didn't tell them anything, Taka."

"Who do you take me for, I'm not a blabbermouth." Shikamaru imagined his friend gave him a look, because 'Taka' said. "What, I only talk when I'm drunk! Besides, I wouldn't want what happened to... you know... the other man nodded."

"No I don't know," Shikamaru cut in, scaring the two men out of their wits. "Care to enlighten me? What happened to whom?"

Taka's friend looked grim. "I'm not talking."

"You better drop it, kid, for all our sakes," Taka added.

But the young Nara had heard enough. "The way I see it, you need help with whatever is happening here, so let me tell you what's going to happen. One, we go blindly in the forest near this village and whatever happened to your friend will also happen to us. Two, you give us the info you have; at best we get rid of the bandits, at worse we know what we're up against, and we don't try to kill ourselves stupidly. In fact, we have backup nearby just for such occasions."

The men exchanged troubled looks. If Shikamaru could guess, they were more concerned about him and his friends than their own selves.

Curious.

Finally, one of them sighed and started talking. "At first, they were simple bandits; robbing our caravans full of merchandise, attacking the lumberjacks and stealing their tools. Nothing we hadn't seen before."

"Then our kids started to disappear."

Shikamaru's focus sharpened. The one name Taka continued.

"That was as far as we could tolerate. We sent ten of our strongest, bravest out there, to try and bring the children back. We only saw one of them come back – as a warning."

Shikamaru had the feeling he didn't like where this would be going.

"They killed him by the village gates."

He closed his eyes. Those weren't ordinary bandits. Not with that kind of scare tactics. And to ensure they wouldn't anything reckless, this must have been a most unnatural death.

"How did he die?"

"There was that ball of fire – nothing like I've ever seen before, and I've seen shinobi use their fire magic before. It touched poor Matsu and he just... he just—"

Shikamaru felt a headache coming. "He turned to dust didn't he?"

The two men exchanged startled looks. "How'd you know?"

More like a migraine. "Because that's the worst thing I thought could happen," he mumbled massaging his temples.

Seriously, This mission...

He asked them a couple more questions; how many children had disappeared? In how much time? How old were the children? With that kind of info, he'd be able to get an idea of the motive.

As he thanked the folks and left, Shikamaru felt they hadn't told him everything. Based on his deductions, he made one last push.

"We'll find them – all of them."

Taka looked on the verge of tears. Barely able to support himself. He leaned on Shikamaru's shoulders.

"My daughter Amy... please, _please_ , I just want to see her safe."

Shikamaru was considered aloof, but even he wasn't indifferent to the tears of a father. "I'll find her." Assuming it wasn't too late he would. And if it was... he'd still find them – all of them.

Still, as he left them to collect more info, his headache followed. As Naruto would put it so eloquently:

Well shit!

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

That evening, the Genin met outside of the village, not far from the main gates. The Uchiha looked impatient.

"Why aren't we leaving yet? This is a waste of time; no one told us anything important – they're underestimating us."

"I'd like an answer to that question as well."

The Genin turned to look at their Jonin-sensei in surprise, or rather, almost all of them did. Sasuke quickly picked up the detail and glared at Shikamaru. "You called them!?"

Shikamaru sighed. "I'm seriously thinking about aborting the mission."

Even Naruto looked back at him in disbelief. "Come on I knew you were a lazyass, but I never pegged you for a coward as well."

"Watch your mouth Naruto," snapped Choji. Naruto eyed the Akimichi carefully. In fact, Choji looked ready to kill; even Uchiha was on his guard. Good old Choji

Asuma looked at Shikamaru. "I suppose you have a good reason."

He sighed. "The leader of the bandits is a shinobi—" and then the rest started to rant.

"If it's only one shinobi!"

"We can take one missing nin!"

Shikamaru hated interruptions. Of course, ignore the fact that the shinobi had the deadliest elemental style – even worse than the lava and the mythical wood style. He had a mind to let them go kill themselves.

Well, Choji was bound to follow him, and Naruto and Ino could be convinced... Unfortunately his sensei seemed to have heard him, because the man stared at him with his mouth open, before shaking his head in disbelief.

"I'm sorry, I think you'll have to to repeat that, Shikamaru."

The Genin stopped and looked at the Jonin, and at him again. Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "The leader of the bandits is a Scorch User."

Dead silence.

Naruto was the first to recover. "Well shit!"

Shikamaru couldn't agree more.

"We could still take him down," assured Uchiha.

Now he understood why Naruto had chosen him. And they called Naruto an idiot. _Heroes die_ – that mantra helped him develop his shinobi style, and he'd made sure that no one under his charge would die if could help it.

... Did Hatake just... sigh?

His flat stare held a hint of amazement. "You knew."

Kakashi blinked in surprise. "Who, me? I would never—" but he stopped and shrugged when Naruto and Asuma joined in the glaring. "Fine, I knew." Even more staring. "Don't look at me like that! I only knew the leader of the bandits was a shinobi. Anyway, good job on collecting that much information."

The air changed around the elite Jonin. "This mission is now officially B-rank, and so the rules have changed. Asuma and I will join your team... under the command of the current leader."

...What?

"You would follow him? He's a coward!"

"No, he's a _leader_. That's why Ino easily followed him and not you, and the reason Naruto named him in the first place – He thinks about the mission _and_ the team, as a Chunin should."

Shikamaru sighed as Uchiha snorted. "If that makes you feel better I think that all of you are troublesome – except Choji... and maybe Asuma-sensei."

"Oi!" The two blonds snapped at the same time.

The young Nara shrugged. "Anyway, here's what we're going to do..."

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

In the end, Shikamaru chose to continue with the mission, under the condition that only the Jonin would be taking on the Scorch Style shinobi. Asuma and Kakashi agreed, and off they were into the forest.

They confirmed that the bandits had no shinobi training judging how easily they found their hideout – the tracks they had left made it embarrassingly easy to follow. The location had favored protection over convenience – while somewhat far from the nearest water source, the thick trees around the camp made a good first line of defense.

A big tent was conveniently placed in the middle of the camp. Three guesses where the hostages were held.

"Here's the plan. I will sneak in and secure the hostages. When that's done, the Genin will take care of the bandits – Sasuke with Sakura, Ino with me, and Naruto with Choji, while the Jonin will distract the scorch jutsu user."

Naruto was fine with it being neither Ino, Pinky or Uchiha, so he liked the plan so far.

"How will we know when it's time to attack?"

Shikamaru smirked. "You'll know, trust me."

When the big tent in the middle of the camp exploded 15 minutes later, Naruto grinned. "That's the signal; let's go."

Four groups fell on the bandits from various directions. As for Choji and he, they started their clean up from the west side, putting down anything that moved with excessive force. Once they had defeated everyone on their path, they looked out for the Jonin. Not far from Shikamaru's distraction. The two men were raining jutsu on a third shinobi. Naruto had to admit he handled himself pretty well.

Tall and thin, but not gaunt, the leader of the bandits looked to be in his mid-thirties. Along the dark hair ending in green tinges, dark grey pants and black vest, he also wore numerous scars. Something told Naruto the man was an experienced shinobi.

"Had I known a famous Jonin like Copy-Nin Kakashi would come after me, I would stuck to my usual thing. You know, I should be angry you killed off my merchandise, but I'm happy to find you Copy-Nin; your bounty will be more than enough to compensate."

For one single person to hold against two Jonin... Naruto was impressed. He could tell from behind his barrier that he would learn a lot just by watching.

"Uh... Naruto, shouldn't we leaving?"

Naruto gave Choji a odd look. "And miss this? You out of your fucking mind!? That's why there are barrier— shit that's hot!"

The scorch user had aimed his jutsu at Naruto while he was distracted and it hit the barrier. The resulting heat was high enough to give Naruto minor burns... and he wasn't even near the edge of his barrier.

Choji gave him a flat stare. Naruto chuckled. "Ah well, guess you were right." Naruto took down the barrier and the left for the trees. At least he could use his goggles from there.

The battle so far has followed a pattern; three shinobi would trade jutsu mixed with some of Kakashi's genjutsu, a few moments where spared to counter or cancel those jutsu or genjutsu, and then they would mould chakra, do their hand seals and try again.

In the end, a diversion ended the battle. While their target was dodging a water jutsu, a volley of black arrows came from his right. The rogue shinobi tried to cancel what he thought was a genjutsu and countered with some scorch balls when he realized they were real.

That was the opening Asuma needed to close the distance and attack with his trench knifes. The man dodged, but was still cut deeply by the strike. Naruto filed the information for later and watched as Kakashi finished the job with a water dragon.

Seriously, that man was such a showoff.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Shikamaru only left the trees he hid in once he was certain the rogue shinobi was unconscious. He joined the Jonin and soon all of them were gather around the main culprit if this mess.

"Naruto, seal him."

Naruto grinned and set out to work. He took out a scroll and one of his seal cards, made some seals on their captive and activated the seals. A few moments later the man had vanished and the blond had handed over the scroll to Shikamaru.

Seeing the curious looks of the rest of their team made the young Nara smile. "Naruto figured out how to seal living things into special scroll. It's a bit more complicated, but it's better if you want to capture a live target."

"And why would you want to capture him alive?" Hatake asked.

Ah. He had wondered when the Jonin-sensei would ask. That had been part of his plan from the start. "Because the Scorch Style is a valuable bloodline limit."

There were two ways Konoha acquired bloodlines; one was by way of alliance, and the other... wasn't talked about as much. It involved some measure of brainwashing and an unpleasant bloodline preservation program. All proper shinobi villagers has such programs... Well, maybe not the current Mizu.

Thank goodness he had no bloodlines.

Kakashi's lone eye grew wide, and Asuma-sensei let out a long whistle. "Isn't that a bit harsh?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "Slave trading doesn't sit well with me. I just think it's fitting."

The men exchanged looks. Kakashi beamed at him. "I like him. Trade him for Haruno?" Both Asuma and he scoffed. "Uchiha then?"

When both Sasuke and Sakura glared at him he relented. "Oh well, I tried. Congratulations on a successful mission, your tactics were sound. I am curious though; what would you have done had we not been here?"

Again, Shikamaru shrugged. "I would have sent for reinforcements while keeping track of the hostages."

His sensei nodded. "We've done our part. Time to complete your mission."

After that the two Jonin left, keeping the Genin in confusion. Shikamaru sighed and looked for the closest piece of rubble he could sit on. Having found none, courtesy of previous battle, he sat on the charred ground.

"Alright, shoot," he said, at last.

"What just happened"

Shikamaru frowned at Haruno. "Don't ask stupid questions. Next?"

Thankfully Choji went next before the kunoichi could open her mouth again. "Where are the abducted villagers?"

Shikamaru pointed to the crater that was the hostage tent. With a snap of his fingers, the crater distorted and turned into one of Naruto's barrier. The abducted youth were inside, looking a bit frazzled, but otherwise fine.

You had to love genjutsu.

Uchiha was quick to figure out the rest. "Back then, when the man jumped back, it was because of an illusion." Shikamaru nodded. "I saw that man use the genjutsu cancellation technique – multiple times."

"maybe they weren't your typical genjutsu then," he supplied.

Uchiha gave him a dubious look. "You're not as lazy as you look, are you, Nara?"

Shikamaru smirked, before getting up. "Alright then, I think it's time we actually completed the mission."

And so they did. Miraculously, all of the missing youth were accounted for. The prettier ones did not come out of it unscathed, but they would live, and by the looks of the folks in the village, they'd be fine. The reunion between Amy and her father got a tear out of Naruto. Seriously that guy was such a softie.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Naruto groaned. "Do I really have to do this?"

The blond girl he followed played with her hair. "Of course you do! A deal is a deal after all. Now, be a dear a carry those bags for me."

Naruto sighed once more and added yet but another pile of bags to the already huge mountain of merchandise he was already carrying. The worst part? None of it was his, and yet he be had to pay for half the stuff; how fucked up was that?

"Shopping dates suck."

Ino rounded on him. "Bit of advice for your love life Naruto, never say that to the woman you're dating."

Naruto replied eloquently by blowing her a raspberry. "When do you have the time to wear that shit anyway? You always have the same clothes when I see you."

"Hey, that's just my shinobi gear!" Seeing his grin, Ino growled. "Damn it Naruto! You're doing this on purpose! Don't you know how to treat a lady at all?"

Naruto recoiled a bit, but his eyes were full of mischief. That sentence was begging for one simple question, but he actually liked Ino. She was bossy, but alright. So instead he said, "Me? I'm a perfect gentleman... when I want to. I still haven't forgot how you got me shopping with you in the first place. You know, you can be so _heavy_ sometimes."

Ino stopped dead in her tracks. "What was that, Uzumaki?"

Naruto felt goosebumps, but betrayed nothing, posting the card of ignorance. "What? You're not _heavyhanded_?" he grinned when he saw her twitch. "What's wrong Ino, wasn't that what I said? Did you think I meant something else, perhaps? _Fat_ chance!"

"Naruto, don't make me kill you," she threatened.

"Stop making pay for your stuff," he retorted still as playful as before, "or I will find a way to make you look like Choji's sister.

Ino paled. She understood very well what was implying. "You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I? Nah, not really. Well... Maybe just a bit?" It was the fact that one truly couldn't find out if what he said was real or not that made Naruto's threats so menacing.

After that they hurried to the last shop. He was on a schedule here; he was to meet with the samurai in a hour at most or he'd miss training.

"So Ino, are we done? But by the looks of things, Ino wasn't done, or rather, Ino was busy with something else. Ino...?"

"I am missing something?" She gave him a narrow look before muttering, "I'm not seeing it."

"Ino, what you talking about?" Naruto asked patiently.

"Oh, about the fact that you have Hinata pinning for you."

"...Oh. Please tell me when you find out. You're a girl; I haven't got a fucking clue what goes through her head."

Ino rolled her eyes. "Nope, not seeing it. But with training, a few lessons there's definitely—"

Naruto groaned. "Fuck no, Ino! We've been through this. How many fucking times do I have to—" he stopped mid sentence to give her a speculating look. "How about we have a bet? Let's have a mock date; I impress you, you leave me alone. I don't, I'll play your 'producing' game for a month. Deal?"

Ino looked like she caught her prey. "That's all I was asking, Naruto. Time and place?"

Naruto would look back at this moment and want to punch himself.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Shikamaru was trying really, _really_ hard to not palm his forehead. Instead he was leaning on a table, facing a troublesome girl. This kunoichi was even more trouble than Ino. He didn't know why he even agreed with this meeting. It might have been curiosity. Unfortunately, curiosity wasn't worth the current headache he felt coming. The fact that he didn't have a choice in the matter was closer to the truth.

Morbid curiosity? Fascination with how troublesome one woman could be?

He focused on the current situation. "Let me get this straight. You want _me_ to help _you_ get closer to _Naruto_." The girl nodded timidly. Shikamaru gave her a second, meaningful look. "And could you explain me why I would be interested in such an endeavor – you know, besides the fact that you hate me."

Hinata glared.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "You came here out of nowhere, and _threatened_ my friends into leaving us alone, before berating me about all the bad things that happened to Naruto – And I'm wondering if even half the things you mentioned actually happened." He wasn't actually wondering; he was convinced the Hyuga heiress had a very fertile imagination.

"Now, after wasting my time, you're demanding that I set the two of you up. Tell me, what did you expect I would answer?"

There was moment of silence, and then Hinata started to poke her fingers.

"I don't hate you."

"Could've fooled me," he drawled. " _Pretend_ I believe you. Why would you—" Shikamaru's great mind finally caught up with his mouth. He gave Hinata a calculating look. "What makes you think I can change Naruto's mind about you?"

Hinata lost her nervousness to glare at him. "You changed him."

Troublesome. No need to wonder why Naruto had suddenly stopped talking to her. Sometimes Shikamaru thought he was a bit too mature for his age. Or maybe it was in a woman's nature to be purposefully obtuse about their crush. Ino and Sakura certainly behaved liked they couldn't see Uchiha at all. If they could, they would have changed their approach – or they would have changed target.

"Are you telling me you don't like the 'new' Naruto?" he asked her.

Hinata's answer was interrupted by the most disturbing and annoying voice Shikamaru had the displeasure to hear. "Onee-sama."

The Hyuga heiress whirled in surprise. "H-Ha-Hanabi! What are y-you d-d-doing here? Wh-where is y-your escort?"

'Hanabi' was a little thing that stared at people like a female version of Hyuga Hiashi. Meaning Shikamaru could practically feel the condescension, the sheer arrogance emanating from her. It would be impressive if wasn't pathetic. He already liked Hinata more than this little urchin and he didn't like Hinata _at all_.

It was like looking at a female version of the Uchiha.

"Who are you talking to, onee-sama? And why did you have to make his friends leave in order to talk to him?" Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What are you two taking about?"

Hinata blushed faintly, but responded just as quickly. "You shouldn't even b-be outside. Does o-otou-sama know you're outside without p-protection?"

Some sibling rivalry. It made think of Naruto and Aniki. They really must love each other a lot.

"You know, I don't think father will approve of your relationship with a Nara; you really shouldn't frolic with people beneath you."

Now that was plain vicious. More importantly, he was being dragged into their verbal spar – bad-mouthing his clan, really? He would teach that brat a thing or two about engaging your betters in a verbal spar.

Shikamaru took advantage of Hinata's spluttering to intervene. "Oh? So the baby can talk? You actually think you can play with the grown ups, do you?" Shikamaru looked as haughty as the best Hyuga. "Now, if you're done with your childish antics, you can leave the adults to their discussion."

The young girl twitched, and Shikamaru knew he had pushed the right buttons.

"Who are you?"

He cocked his head as if to ponder. "Me? I'm the son of your dad's boss."

The child's face started to lose her coolness. "My father bows to _no one_ ," she warned.

Shikamaru smirked. "Last time I checked, the Hokage isn't from the Hyuga clan; never has been. And besides him, there are at least _three_ other people above the clan heads." Seeing Hinata's sister losing control, he smiled, this time condescending. "I'm sorry, I thought you would have learned by now that daddy isn't always the strongest."

Her cool facade started to turn into a scowl. "Name them, then."

Shikamaru scoffed. "Now, why would _I_ do your homework for you? How about you ask your daddy? I'll bet you he'll even be able to name me.

"Now, about that ridiculous, _childish_ thirst for drama. Your sister doesn't like me – I'm sure your sister hates me. But grown ups have to talk to people they don't like in order to achieve their goals. It's okay if you don't understand yet, give it some time. What are you, five? I'm your tutors will teach you in due time..."

Up until now, Shikamaru had indulged in Naruto's penchant for masochism because... Well, he was still looking for a reason, really. However Sanosuke had it right; Naruto would make a terrifying samurai. His progress in the samurai physical training was astounding. His only fear was how powerful the blond would become when he assimilated those teachings into his taijutsu.

As for him, he simply thought he was along for the ride... until Mini-Hiashi's surprise attack. One moment during his belittling speech, his eyes had registered her right hand aiming for his chest, the next, the small child was flying through the air, and only his wire and some quick thinking prevented the girl from crashing into the nearby wall – instead he trapped her in midair. The young Nara sighed, thinking he had probably started something that he didn't want to finish.

"Let me down this instant! How dare you leave to hang like this!? I demand you drop me right this instant!"

He let the child squirm and turned away to face the incredulous stare of her older sister. The heiress remained speechless. "Did you just...? How...? Shikamaru I—" Whatever she was going to say choked in her throat when she saw his cold stare.

Shikamaru hadn't liked Hinata before; he liked her even less now. This whole mess was her fault. Actually it was Naruto's fault – everything was always his fault really – but the blond wasn't there so he have settle for the Hyuga. Time for some payback. "Why are you letting your sister walk all over you? You're stronger than her."

He could see surprise in the eyes of both Hyuga, but while Shikamaru felt doubt in the youngest, he picked up traces of guilt in the face of the eldest. So he had been right.

Excellent.

"There's no way! Father told me—"

"I'm... I'm not stronger than her. She's more talented than I, and she trains with otou-sama. I wasn't deemed good enough to do so. When we spar we always manage to end up in a draw."

Both girls were in denial. This only made his smile more vindictive. "Tell me, little Hyuga, how come is it that with your talent, your tutors and your father, you still manage a _draw_ against your 'untalented' sister?"

Hinata started to panic. "But I barely manage to catch up to her."

"For three years? Without the need of the best tutors? _Odd_."

Hinata flushed. "Ah! W-we-well, I—"

"Lies." Hanabi spouted. "The elders said she was a failure, a disappointment, that I had surpassed her in a year..." then doubt steadily invaded her voice. "But I never won, no even once. Onee-sama, were you _toying_ with me?"

Shikamaru almost lost it when Hinata stumbled through every excuse or reassurance she could, without being able to complete even one sentence. The Hyuga heiress made eye contact with him and in half a second grabbed him by the shirt.

"I... You... y— fix this," she hissed, with a promise of a thousand deaths in her stare.

Shikamaru smirked. "Not a chance. You brought this on your self. I hope the next time you try and mess with me you'll think twice about it." Still, seeing the two sisters together, he couldn't help but mess with them one last time. "Well, there is a way to fix one of your problems – beat Naruto in a spar; he'd be sure to treat you better then. Might even take you out for ramen if you impress him enough."

Shikamaru saw Hinata blush and knew he had sowed the seeds in her mind. The only question was how long would it take for her to try. He hoped it was soon.

She needed a reality check.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Naruto once again stood on top of the Fourth Hokage's hair. This time he was the waiting for someone get their ass here. When he felt him he snorted.

"Took your fucking time." All he got for answer was a bland stare. "What? What did I do now?"

The other boy sighed. "Your stalker came after me today."

Naruto looked ready to commit murder. "She did _what_? That fucking bitch. I _warned_ her. next time I see her I'm going to—"

"Calm down. Nothing happened." Naruto gave him a dubious look which only resulted in Shikamaru rolling his eyes. "Though the next you do see her, she might want to fight you."

Naruto groaned, much to his friend's amusement. "You shitting me? What did you do now?"

"I'm trying to make a point."

That made him remember his previous afternoon and the stupid idea that came from it. He also remembered it was Shikamaru's fault in the first place. "Speaking of making points – Ino, fucking Ino? Really?"

"Wait, didn't you figure it out yet?" Seeing his clueless look Shikamaru groaned. "Plan K, Naruto."

"What about... I'm an idiot. I'm a fucking idiot! The fucking Mind Transfer Jutsu. You're a fucking genius!" Naruto wanted to laugh. He been looking for a solution to that particular problem for years now.

"Good. What about plan A?"

Naruto smiled. "Plan A should be entering the second phase soon, so I guess plan B is on standby?"

"Yep. But if everything goes well we won't need plan B."

Naruto looked at his friend with sympathy. Plan B had the greatest chance of success, but also has the greatest cost for Shikamaru. "Let's hope not."

As the two of them sat on the ground and ultimately laid back to watch the sky, Naruto snickered.

"Oi Shikamaru, do you think anyone figured out who Aniki is yet?"

Shikamaru actually smiled. "I'm sure the Hokage figured it out by now, what with that crystal ball of his. I think your sensei knows."

"Kakashi?" Naruto scoffed. "No way. That guy is too fucking lazy to even care about Aniki's identity, as long as there's someone to take care of me."

Shikamaru went to the next logical conclusion. "Asuma might figure it out eventually, but I left him a fake clue, so it'll be hard for him." He then chuckled. "Actually, if the two Jonin share notes like I hope they do, Kakashi might not find out."

Naruto laughed at that. That had to be the best prank ever. "Well I think we'll let them ponder some more, don't you think so, _Aniki_?"

Shikamaru smirked in response.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **A/N: Hey folks! This is the end of the first arc. I hope you've enjoyed what you've read so far. Please let me know! Next arc will tackle two things: the Chunin exam and the most of the unanswered questions you have about Naruto and Shikamaru.**

 **You might have to wait till the beginning of next year for the next chapter though. On the bright side, I've found what I'll do to for post chapter shenanigans. Look forward to it!  
**


	8. Preparations

**The Yin Yang Twins**

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Disclaimer: Naruto and its universe \ canon are property of Kishimoto... And whoever owns Kishimoto I guess.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **8\. Chunin Exams: Preparations**

 ** _In which Naruto has girl troubles_**

"Congrats, I think you're ready to take the Chunin exam."

Naruto blinked at his sensei. "The fuck?"

"How very astute Naruto; that part usually comes after the promotion for most shinobi."

That threw him for a hell of a loop. And here he thought his sensei was a virgin. Wait a sec, didn't the bingo book mention that Hatake Kakashi received his promotion at around twelve?

"... You're a sick bastard sensei."

Kakashi's eye smiled. "You're welcome. Now that I've put a very distributing image in Naruto's head, let's proceed with the meaning of what I just told you." And Kakashi did just that. It wasn't anything Naruto wasn't prepared for, but their sensei did leave out an important detail. So when he gave them the forms and left, Naruto decided to talk to his teammates before they could leave.

"There's one thing Kakashi-sensei didn't tell us." Pinky ignored him at first, but she glared at him when she saw Uchiha stop mid-step to listen. "To participate in the Chunin exams, you need a full team." At least until the finals, but that detail could wait.

He was staring at Pinky when he said that, and Uchiha must have understood what he was implying because he too was staring — hard.

"Haruno, listen well. I won't let anyone get in the way of my goals. So you'd better think carefully about how you're going to fill that form."

Oh, there was nothing to think about. Pinky would be signing that form – it was only a matter of when and how painful it would be for her. To her credit, the kunoichi knew she was outnumbered. Besides the moment Uchiha had asked her, she would have done it anyway. Naruto saw her give in with a narrow look before talking to the Uchiha.

"I think you should train her for the remaining days until the exams." The two of them looked at him like he had grown a second head. "What? I much as I don't like you Pinky, Aniki told me people died in those exams, so I think you need all the help you can get."

Pinky paled while Sasuke looked mutinous. "What about you?" he demanded.

Naruto gave him a look. "You think Pinky can learn fuinjutsu or my taijutsu style in a week? Besides, she fucking _listens_ to you."

Just then Naruto felt someone slap his arm. He flinched only because he recognized the one who had done so, and it didn't bode well.

"Naruto! You owe me a rematch!" And by that, Ino meant a date.

When Naruto had agreed to their mock date, he had thought he had this in the bag, but he also knew he kinda sucked at connecting with people. So he had asked Aniki some tips and tried to copy what he had learned from the sappy dramas he watched, and tried to have as much fun as he could while... paying attention to Ino's _feelings_.

He hated that word.

It worked though. His first date had awkward moments, but luckily Ino wasn't as shallow as she seemed, so she didn't snap at him for every little thing, like when they went for a picnic instead of a nice restaurant, for example. Besides, the view from the Hokage monument was breathtaking in the evening. The best part of that evening was that he had managed to fluster Ino. Apparently, the charisma Aniki always talked about was good for flirting too. His genuineness, his childishness, his kindness helped Ino have a great time. When he asked for a second date and she said yes, they both knew he had won.

Looking back, that was a stupid thing to ask, because it gave Ino an excuse – hence the rematch.

But still... "Uh, Ino, I'm kind of in the middle of something, here."

However the kunoichi was relentless. "No! The Chunin exams are next week, so you won't have time after that."

Sasuke had an odd look on his face. "You train with her?"

Naruto felt uncomfortable for once. "Something like that. I tend to learn from different fighting styles – helps me improve." He ignored Ino's calculating glance, and then his eyes turned vicious. "Hey Ino, would you like to train with Sasuke for a week?"

"What?" both girls screeched at the same time. Ino looked ecstatic, Pinky looked murderous

"It's simple really. Sasuke has some time to train one of you during the week, since we don't have team meetings. If you want that spot, you'll have to fight for it." He then winked at the furious Uchiha who blinked, before snorting.

Ino scoffed. "Please, I'm way better than Forehead – you might as well let train right now!"

Naruto could see veins appear on Pinky's forehead. "What was that _Ino-Pig_?"

"You heard me _Forehead_."

Naruto rolled his eyes. Girls. "Great! Now we only need a time and a place."

"Right here," one kunoichi said, butting heads with her rival.

"Right now," the other one replied in kind.1

Naruto shrugged. "Want to call it, Sasuke?"

"Break it off ladies."

The response was instantaneous. They both jumped back and smiled at the Uchiha. "Hai, Sasuke-kun!" Naruto saw how the girls were looking at the other boy like he was ramen and pitied him for a moment. Fortunately Uchiha was made of stern stuff and called for the spar to begin.

Naruto was surprised to admit that the spar was a bit fun to watch. He had to remember that Haruno Sakura had been the top kunoichi of their promotion. Motivated to fight for once, she was fiercer than he ever thought she could be. Of course, he could still easily crush her so that didn't mean much. At least she had the potential to actually be useful during their actual missions. Then again, if everything went well he'd never have missions with her again.

On the other hand, Ino gave as well as she got whether it was hand to hand combat or with projectiles. And the fact that Ino wasn't using any jutsu was what clinched it. He clearly knew who was going to win. Ino must have read his mind, because she started throwing kunai at her target. Pinky dodged while she attacked with her own. The next moment, his teammate found that she was stuck in place.

"What?"

"Really Forehead, you have to learn to pay attention. Didn't you notice that all my kunai had wires attached to them?"

Naruto could actually see them coming from her wrist. Somebody was spending too much time with Aniki.

"The fact is my chakra is going through those wires you stepped on, so you're stuck," Ino gloated "I could use my Shintenshin (Mind Transfer Jutsu) on you, or pepper you with more kunai, or just pummel you from behind. Give up?" Pinky's eyes filled with defiance were answer enough. "Suit yourself."

Ino closed the distance, tackled Haruno from the side and put a kunai at her throat. "I win."

There wasn't any doubt, and Uchiha called the match. Ino released her old friend. The other girl ran before anyone could say anything.

Naruto could see there was a bit of uncertainty in Ino's eyes. "Thanks Ino. That's exactly what she needed."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, she needed to see her lack of training cost her Sasuke. That she lost to you only drives the point further. She has pride, and she's a kunoichi; she'll get over it."

Ino looked towards the direction her old friend had run. "So that's what you were after."

Naruto's grin became mischievous. "Besides, Sasuke's going to help her train anyway."

Ino turned sharply. "W-what!? So I won for nothing?"

"Well, I wouldn't say nothing... You helped out a friend in need didn't you?" He laughed as he ran, dodging a hail of kunai.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Shikamaru sighed. He wondered why people went out of their way to be troublesome. It's like a day couldn't go by that he didn't have to interfere in the life of some poor soul that willfully – gleefully – threw themselves into peril. He would know, Naruto was the undisputed champion of troublesome-ness.

Of course, by troublesome he meant _stupid_.

Take the present case.

Shikamaru was currently leaning against the wall of apartment building not too far from the Hyuga sector. He rubbed his head trying to get rid of the coming headache, before looking up. A few meters above his head, three Kumo nin were dangling in awkward positions.

"So? None of you brave gentlemen are going to kindly explain to me what happened for you to be here?" No answer. Somehow he had expected that.

"What are you doing with my Genin?"

Shikamaru focused on the tanned newcomer. He certainly looked like their sensei. "Those three are with you? Great! Maybe you can explain to me why they ended up caught in my trap."

"You see, I saw those three upstanding gentlemen following a young girl – clearly with the intent of accompanying her home no doubt. Despite their noble intentions they still caught the eye of the ANBU." Now the Jonin took him more seriously, and the Cloud Genin finally understood how much trouble they got themselves into. "Now, I didn't want the ANBU to meddle – that would look bad for you guys, so I intervened."

"And the girl they were tailing?" Then the man slapped his forehead. "Wait, please don't tell me they were going after a Hyuga?"

Shikamaru nodded. Then the two of them signed at the same time. He glanced at the Jonin and smirked. He could always appreciate a smart fellow. He snapped his fingers and the wires broke. The three Genin managed to land without trouble. The next instant, four ANBU agents surrounded the Genin ready to escort them out of the village he bet the Raikage will love that. "I hope you enjoyed your stay in Konoha."

Shikamaru put his hands behind his head as he walked away. Anymore time idling and he'd be late for his afternoon training with Sanosuke and Naruto. Because, why not do something more productive like recovering from his latest mission (sleeping), or preparing for the Chunin exams (cloud watching)?

Sometimes he really hated Otouto.

And now he had to hurry up because of those Kumo idiots in the first place, so he walked slightly faster. Unfortunately, his trials did not end there, because now he had someone following him.

Now, Shikamaru usually didn't bother with spies and stalkers – there were never after him anyway. In fact, he encouraged sneakiness. It was the reason he had never stopped Naruto from making his pranks, and look where that had ended; people feared Otouto's pranks. It always was a subject of pride.

For that reason he couldn't stand it when people were doing it wrong – like the person following him. It got so bad that Shikamaru thought of putting a minimum of effort ditch his impromptu escort and so he turned the corner and simply walked up the wall. He was halfway up not even bothered to look down when he heard the most troublesome word in his situation.

"Byakugan!"

Now that was just unfair. Now he had no way to avoid confrontation. He sighed and let himself fall right next to the little spy. The kid jumped in fright and took the traditional Juken (Gentle Fist) stance.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "You know, little Hyuga-Sama," he said with all of his sarcasm accenting the 'Sama', "If you're going shout your doujutsu, then you might as well admit you're trailing me."

With that said, he took off, a bit faster than before, determined to get to his appointment on time. Hyuga Hanabi had other ideas.

"Wait, who told you I was following you?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "What I know is that you're still following me. Go home, your troublesome-ness."

"T-troublesome!? How dare you! I'll have you know that the Hyuga clan..."

Really, that's what he got for playing good Samaritan. He had half a mind to... You know what? He should; clearly the mini Hyuga hadn't learned her lesson. He took out one of his wire balls.

Catch.

"W—" Hanabi caught it by reflex and turned into a black cocoon, with her head sticking out. "What's this? Release me this instant!"

Instead, Shikamaru carried the Hyuga over his shoulder like a duffel bag and walked briskly towards the Hyuga area of the village, heedless to the threats and pleas of his package.

The guard at the entrance of the gate gave him a strange look when he handed him his prize. He turned back quickly – now he'd have to run to get to his meeting on time.

"Hanabi? What's the meaning of this?"

Shikamaru cringed and looked around. Yep, that was Hyuga Hiashi looking at him right now. "I'd like to stay and explain, but I have an engagement and being late would be troublesome."

The Hyuga clan head remained emotionless. "I see. Should I be asking your father about this then, Shikamaru Nara? Or better yet, your _mother_?"

That man did not just pull the 'I'm-going-to-tell-your-mother card'. That was a level of dirtiness that even he hasn't stooped to. He sighed. As much as he hated the situation, he had to tip his hat to the man.

"Your daughter found it a good idea to ditch her escort – again I might add, and follow me around." The man raised an eyebrow and Shikamaru hadn't told the best part yet. "That is – _after_ she was almost ambushed by Kumo Genin."

The look of murderous fury that went through the elder Hyuga reminded Shikamaru to never get him angry. Still, he was late and this was none of his business. So... "The ANBU patrolling the market place thirty minutes ago can fill you in. Don't mention it – it's more trouble than it's worth, really."

Shikamaru quickly left the area. When he looked up, the sun made him shudder. He was late – Sanosuke would be even more brutal. Oh well, maybe he should just skip and never come back? It was Naruto who wanted the training after all.

"Oi Shikamaru, you're late too?! Oh and guess what? The Chunin exams are next week!"

Said Nara tried hard not to cry. Some days were just more troublesome than others.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Naruto had enjoyed this training session. He enjoyed the work, and he enjoyed above all Shikamaru's suffering. He loved Aniki, but for them to be equals while the other only got by with minimal effort drove him mad. So sometimes, he went there late when he thought Shikamaru needed the extra bea— training, yeah!

Deep down, Naruto knew Shikamaru trained more than he let on – the simple fact that he could go through Sanosuke's entire torture session without puking was proof enough. He just wanted to see it for himself; they rarely trained together after all.

Yes, he was fucking jealous of Team Ten, damn it!

Anyway, there he was, strolling from Training grounds #43 to his shitty apartment when his eyes feel on a curious sight. The first thing he noticed was a guy dressed all in black, with a weird cat hood and even weirder make-up, holding a snotty brat he sometimes saw around the Hokage's office. Next to him was cute blonde with weird pigtails, and behind the brat was none other than Pinky herself.

Oh great, Pinky had seen him too, so now he had to do something.

Naruto transformed his chakra and started walking. "Kengan [Bullet Fist]" Naruto jabbed with his left and a burst of wind hit the weird guy, making him drop his victim.

Needless to say the guy was not happy. "Who the hell are you?!"

"Hmm, I think the more important question is, what the hell would you have done if that brat had gotten hurt." Seeing the foreign headbands, he decided to explain. "I know it's weird being in Konoha for you people of Suna, what with your weird make-up and her weird hairdo, but, as allies, do you really think it's a good idea to beat up the _Hokage's fucking grandchild_?"

The two Suna nin who had bristled at Naruto's insults had now gone pale. The kunoichi turned to her teammate. "Shit! I told you to let it go you idiot!"

"But how should I know!"

Meanwhile, Naruto went to the little boy and put him on his feet. He made sure to know he was unharmed before bopping him on the head. Everyone froze and looked at him like he was crazy, while Konohamaru was rubbing his new bump.

"What the hell was that for!"

"None of this would've happened if you had apologized properly." At the sound of me protesting he hit him again. "If you're the Hokage's grandchild, act like it."

The boy did apologise in the end, and Naruto took him away. When he was sure the Suna team was out of sight, he turned to Konohamaru. "You may be the Old man's kid, but that doesn't mean shit for real shinobi. You're a prime target; don't make the ANBU's job harder than it already is. There are a lot of foreign shinobi coming and the last thing people will worry about is you getting your ass kicked because you couldn't get a fucking clue."

"Yes, boss."

Naruto blinked, before hitting the irritating brat again. "Who the fuck gave you right to call me boss, you annoying pipsqueak?"

"But boss, you got to take me in! You know so much! And you just became a Genin and you're already cooler than Ebisu-sensei."

He had to give it to the kid, he had good eyes. Maybe he could give him a break for recognizing his obvious talent. "Tell you what; you meet me tomorrow at the Hokage's office, first thing in the morning, and we'll see about it. Now scram; I got shit to do."

Once the brat left, he took a detour and went to training area #7. There he took three deep breaths and faced his teammate, who for some reason had followed him since the meeting with the Suna kids.

"What the fuck do you want Pinky?"

The girl flinched and didn't speak for a moment. "Why didn't you ask them what they were here for? Do you know?"

Naruto snorted. "I don't know much about them, but I saw shinobi coming from Ame and Mizu at the market earlier. Must be because of the Chunin exams." Then his eyes narrowed "Why were you there with that pipsqueak anyway? You always complain about kids when we have to babysit." Frankly, Naruto thought she'd be moping around, or crying on her bed or something.

Pinky turned pink (Heh) and mumbled something. When he asked again, she said, "That brat said I was too ugly to get a boyfriend."

Naruto's sweat dropped. That pipsqueak would get himself killed someday. "Now that that's settled, let's go back to what the fuck do you want, Pinky?" And this time, Naruto's face told her a wrong answer would have painful consequences.

"I want... I need you to help me get stronger." There was a long, tense pause. "Please."

Naruto took his time to answer, articulating each word. "And I should help you because...?"

Pinky answered, "Because we're teammates."

Naruto blinked twice before laughing out loud. He kept laughing for two minutes straight. "Thanks Pinky, I needed the laugh. See you tomorrow."

And then Pinky made the mistake of trying to grab his arm. "But Naruto, I—" . With a twist and a turn, the kunoichi was flat, and Naruto was giving a look full of spite.

"Oi, Pinky, when I told you about being added to my shit list, I wasn't kidding. Besides, it's not like I can help you, you know? _I'm a cheating bastard that uses the demon in my gut,_ remember?"

Hoping he got his point across, Naruto started walking away. A moment later he suddenly turned and kicked the pink-haired kunoichi in the stomach, preventing her fist from reaching his face. The girl fell on her knees, but painfully got up. Took up a stance and charged once more with a war cry. Naruto frowned; this was getting annoying. He caught her second punch and squeezed. The girl cried in pain, but Naruto kept the pressure, and when she thought her hand was breaking, he spun and threw her over his shoulder.

"I got to say, I don't know what you're trying to do, but it ain't working. Sasuke's going to train you starting tomorrow, so I don't see how I could help you."

"Sasuke will...?"

"You're on his team, moron! Why would he help someone else over you?"

"I hate you," Naruto paused for a second before moving again. "I'm on your shit list, and you still help me. Why?" Naruto shrugged, but stopped when he noticed that Pinky's voice drew closer. "Kakashi-sensei didn't try to help me. Sasuke ignored me all the time. You told him to help me, and he did. I need to know."

Naruto replied with a cold stare. "Why do you want to get stronger?"

"I-I like... I love Sasuke-kun, I don't want to die before... I don't want to die." She looked afraid. It seemed the words he had told her earlier had sunk in.

Naruto suddenly remembered the first beating he got from Aniki.

 _"_ _Get stronger, better."_

 _"_ _Why? Why the fuck do you care?"_

 _"_ _Because I don't want you to die. Weak shinobi die. Strong shinobi die too, but they live longer. It would be troublesome for me if you died, so get stronger."_

He never forgot that lesson, and he made sure to remind Aniki his own words whenever he thought the boy was slacking off. And now it seemed... He sighed. He was already regretting what he was about to do.

"Follow me."

"What...?"

Naruto didn't bother to repeat himself and started walking.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Shikamaru was cloud gazing with a scowl on his face. Usually he loved cloud watching, but he couldn't enjoy it today because every few seconds he body was hit with muscles spasms, rather painful ones at that.

Damned Sanosuke.

Well there was something he got out of it; seeing how beaten he was when he met them, his parents let him slack off all he wanted, and Asuma-sensei had actually eased up on the training – not that they trained much. He usually trained on his own, with the help of the library and look where that got him.

Chunin level, thank you very much.

He heard footsteps and groaned. Apparently his trials were not over. "Go away; let me wallow in my pain."

A snort – Naruto then. He slowly got up to verbally assault Otouto, but froze before he could utter the first syllable. "No, go away."

"But you didn't even hear me out yet!"

Shikamaru did not bother to argue back and returned to his painful cloud watching. The nerve of that troublesome blond! It was just like him. One moment he whined about having no friends, and the next he brought people like Haruno around. Next he'd tell him he wanted world peace or something.

"For what it's worth, I find this whole shit more troublesome than you, but I have to become a Chunin."

Becoming a Chunin was part of plan A. Dealing with Haruno wasn't part of any of his plans, mostly because he hated that girl. Naruto had had a crush on her since the start of the Academy, and only now was he starting to let go, and even then the troublesome blond was too kind for his own good.

He had to change topics, or else he'd say something that would end up hurting Naruto.

"What are they doing here, then?" By them, he meant Uchiha and Ino. This made the situation even more troublesome.

"I was trying to convince Sasuke-kun to train with me for a bit – I did win the spar, after all, and suddenly I saw Forehead following Naruto around, so I thought something was up. And I was right! Why would they come to you? What are you even doing here?"

"Suffering," he deadpanned. "As for your first question, Naruto wants me to help her."

"Wait a second, that's not fair! If she gets help from Team Ten, I demand my training time with Sasuke-kun."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Sorry, but both your ideas aren't going to happen; if both our teams are in the exams we'll be forced to compete against each other at one time or another. No offense, but we'll need all the advantages we can get against both Uchiha and Naruto."

His argument was sound, so much so that the Uchiha snorted and left. He did take Haruno with him so they could talk. Ino tried to have a rematch with Naruto – was he supposed to be worried about that one? Because frankly he was. Once she succeeded, she left as well – only Naruto remained.

Before he could ask again, Shikamaru took out a jar and gave it to his friend.

"What's that?" asked the blond.

"Poison. Make sure she coats her kunai and shuriken with it. As far as I know, there are no none antidote for that one, since the duration of the paralysis is thirty seconds or so. It's fast acting, and it's a full body paralysis, so that's that."

"Bullshit!," Naruto looked liked the Ichiraku's were closing. It was kind of funny. "Aniki, that's the first poison you brewed, hell that's your fucking style she'd be copying!"

By style, the boy meant that this is what Shikamaru had come up with when Naruto had first surpassed him in spars. It was the prototype of his current path as a shinobi.

"... Your point?"

"It took you a year to come up with that poison and you're giving it away like that!?"

Shikamaru scowled. "She needs to get stronger in _one week_. If you have any other bright ideas, I'm willing to listen." When Naruto had nothing to say he went on. "The Chunin exams are in less than a week, at that rate she'll be lucky to be remotely decent enough to fight on her own, but she'll be able to support you two."

Naruto looked forlorn. He understood. As far as they knew those first spars had always been between the two of them. They were probably one of the few happy memories Naruto had oh that time.

Shikamaru sighed. It wasn't that big of a deal for him, since Haruno could never come up with what he had ended with. There were so many ways to specialize into form the basis he had given: trapping, genjutsu, poisons, not to mention fuinjutsu or even stealth and special ninjutsu.

"This is why I'm only telling _you_. You choose if you're giving her this info or not. But with what you told me about her talents, she doesn't have a lot of options left."

Naruto grit his teeth. He shook his head ruefully. "I almost wish I didn't ask you for help."

"But you did, because that's what otouto do. And I did what any aniki would have done. In the end, if that little is enough to help you survive until we reach our goals, it'll be worth it."

Naruto seemed to snap out of it. "Yeah, plan A and plan B are still good, and plan K is nearly complete. I guess you're right." A moment later he slammed his hand to the ground. "I still fucking hate this shit!"

Shikamaru found that Otouto was taking things way too personal. He was the one who hated Haruno. He blinked. "What do you mean, plan K?"

"...Right, I forgot to tell you. This is what I intend to do with Ino..."

Shikamaru listened and grinned. Otouto was on the road of manipulating what he needed out of almost anyone.

He was so proud.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Girls were fucking insane!

Now, Naruto wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he could cut like the best of them. That's why he had turned Ino's weird obsession with winning a date – he still couldn't wrap his head around that one – into something he could use; namely, the shishiten [Mind Transfer] Jutsu. Naruto was good at reverse engineering, in fact, this was one of the reasons he was so fucking awesome at fuinjutsu. The only thing he needed from Ino was to use her Jutsu on a couple of seals and voilà, he'd be able to use it via Seals. The real problem was having Ino use the jutsu without making her too suspicious about it.

The first part was easy. He made it a stipulation for their rematch. The second part had him pretend he was fuinjutsu nerd – which he wasn't... much... okay, so what if was a fucking fuinjutsu nerd? – and promise he'd give her a prototype of what he'd come up with so she could fight with it. He would do it too, _after_ he made what he needed with it. It worked, because she was more skeptical about him achieving any sort of success than his misuse of a clan secret.

Actually, he got what he was aiming for pretty easily. T'was their second mock date that had him want to pull his fucking hair out.

Mainly because it felt like a real date. Ino was being clingy for fuck's sake! It was like their first one, but it was like Ino was the one being tested. And he had to admit he had no chance against a motivated Ino when it came to flirting. Still, he had fun, even if it was a waste of time – and money, cause he paid for everything.

So while he escorted her home, like the gentleman he was, he decided to get to the bottom of this. "What the fuck was that Ino?"

She looked at him, a teasing grin on her lips. "That... was me on a good day. I just wanted to let you know that you're not all that. Now, for our next date—"

Naruto's instincts kicked into high gear. "Nex—No! Fuck no! Ino, we had a deal I won, we're done. No more dates."

"No more dates? Why? Naruto... Don't you... Didn't you feel like there was something between us?"

Naruto's heart skipped a beat – like literally stopped – seeing how cute Ino was at the moment. Then his brain processed what actually happened and he closed his eyes. "So help Ino I'm going to smack the living hell—"

But his threat was interrupted by a large guffaw. Ino was laughing so hard she holding onto a pissed off Naruto for support. "Oh my gosh! Your face!" she eventually stopped and winked at him, and whispered seductively in his ear. "Oh, don't be like that Naruto! I went easy on you. You didn't think that I used all of my sexiness on you, did you?"

The boy shivered. Ino was good at seduction. There was something wrong with the Uchiha. "Why aren't you dating the asshole again?"

Ino groaned in frustration. "I swear that guy is made of stone! At this point it's more a matter of pride than my crush on him." She gave Naruto a look. "But seriously, Naruto, you clean up pretty well. I didn't even need to give you any tips and you're already miles ahead of my usual dates."

No wonder she was so good at this. But being complimented by someone like her gave him hope that his dream of a family wasn't so impossible as he thought, at least when it came to courtship.

But not with Ino. Ino was scary – he was never doubting Aniki about women ever again.

Lost in thoughts, he nearly jumped when Ino snaked her arm around his again. "Now, for our next date..."

"Wait, didn't we go through this shit already!?"

Ino's new Cheshire smile was as scary as it was cute. "Of course; no more mock dates. We're doing the real thing now."

"You're not my girlfriend Ino."

"Silly Naru-kun, these are friend dates."

 _Naru-kun_!? Who the fuck was Naru-kun! "How about no dates at all?"

"That's fine. I don't need dates to find you – at any time of the day – and flirt with you, or embarrass you."

That was a clear threat if he ever heard one.

"But what about Uchiha? Isn't flirting with me in front of him, you know, _counterproductive_?"

Here, her smile turned predatory. "Oh Sasuke-kun doesn't really care, does he? Or he might think I'm trying to make him jealous. You however... I still get my fun out of you.

Naruto's jaw dropped. Ino was devious. "You're— aren't you supposed to be less...?" scary, cunning, but definitely fucking scary. "... cunning?"

Ino played with her hair. "I'm a kunoichi Naruto, I'm supposed to make you think I'm vain. You can't imagine how many guys have tried to get advantage of my sexiness." Seeing his terrified, helpless face. Ino caressed his face. "Oh, don't be like that, Naru-kun. I won't hurt you. It's not like I can make you fall for me; you already know I just want to have some fun. I can _try_ though."

Fuck.

Ino, seemingly read his mind, because she giggled. "Now don't be hasty now, that comes later," she whispered in his ear. She then kissed his cheek and entered her home.

Naruto spent ten minutes staring at the door, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Then he left, when Inochi's killing intent finally rose high enough for him to actually feel threatened. He headed straight for his home to get a long cold shower.

Plan B couldn't come soon enough.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

By the end the week Naruto that is earlier conclusion had clearly warranted the plural form; girls were fucking insane!

Now that he had the seals needed for plan K, you'd think he could get on with it immediately, right?

Well...

First there was the business of that second date with Ino that turned into them actually dating, but not really. The good thing was she admitted that going out right now when they were supposed to be preparing for the Chunin exams was stupid, so she only openly flirted with him instead. Unfortunately that only opened the floodgates.

The next evening Hinata, the stalker that had never approached him by herself, came and outright demanded a spar.

Well okay – he had nothing against a good ass kicking. He hadn't counted on Hinata being actually good at taijutsu – as in, better than Uchiha – nor had he counted on these being a series of spar getting more intense as he won them all. Hinata was so insistent that he had missed Sanosuke's daily workout session.

And again that would have been fine if not for the fact that the next evening shaped out to be the same. On the third afternoon, Naruto had decided to simply stick around Aniki to avoid Hinata, only to end up meeting Yakumo in front of his house. She had come to invite him for tea. Only the invitation came from her uncle – the fucking interim head of the Kurama clan.

Pro tip; when any head of a clan invited you for tea, you fucking went to tea. And so he went.

Shikamaru had warned him these were boring. Naruto realized that was a euphemism for 'real danger of falling in a fucking coma'. He didn't remember how he survived that one, but vowed that this was the first and last formal dinner he even went to.

Oh course that meant Yakumo was also added to his flee-on-sight list.

Even _Pinky_ was looking for him.

So there he was, on the final day before the Chunin exams and he still hadn't gotten a time span large enough to use the damn Mind Transfer Seal he had come up with. Thankfully all the mentioned girls had decided to leave him alone today – or rather, he decided to be really sneaky today – and so he could dedicate himself to plan K.

The best thing was, he didn't even need much for the first part of plan K – only solitude and time. He found both that afternoon, seeing that no one has been waiting to ambush him near his apartment. Once he closed the door and made sure to lock it.

Praying people wouldn't look too much into it, he took out one of his infamous black seal cards and started carving the seals he had come up with for the Mind Transfer Jutsu. He held another card, white this time with the same seals.

Well, here goes nothing.

"Demonic Mind Transfer Jutsu!"

He felt a pang in his gut. Like he had lost a bit of something. But it was worth it, because now, in front of him, the chakra contained in the black card finally took shape.

The shape of an old malevolent being whose life was inextricably linked to his.

"You!" The creature snarled once he laid his eyes on Naruto.

Naruto's answer was a terrifying smile."Hello Kyubi."

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **A/N: So, Welcome back folks! I as mentioned before, this arc will deal with the Chunin exams, by the end of it, we'll have diverged completely from canon. In the mean time This first Omake will be a recap of the main points of the last arc, though I encourage you the read the fic again if you want, it's not that long. Starting next chapter, there will be side stories of sorts to answer your questions (which you can ask by reviewing *winks like Duval*) no bigger than a 1000 words. Not mandatory to understand the story but you'll judge for yourselves.**

 **RECAP**

 **Naruto managed to earn his Genin promotion without stealing the Forbidden Scroll of Seals, but ended up with Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura for teammates, with Hatake Kakashi for Jonin-Sensei, which pisses him off to no end. Fortunately he has the friendship of Shikamaru Nara to lean on, and the help of the mysterious Aniki. They might be the reason Naruto is so strong, stronger than Sasuke in fact. He also makes acquaintance with one Yamanaka Ino, Shikamaru's teammate.**

 **Both Team Seven and Team Ten end up with missions that go horribly wrong. Naruto has to deal with the whole Gato business, and Shikamaru has to deal with samurai trying to take a Fire Country village hostage. Both teenagers are instrumental to the success of their respective missions, and have their Jonin-sensei curious about their abilities.**

 **After one more test mission for both Teams, the Genin are about ready for the Chunin exams. Also, the mysterious Aniki is revealed to be none other than Shikamaru.**


	9. Exams Shenanigans

**The Yin Yang Twins**

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Disclaimer: Naruto and its universe \ canon are property of Kishimoto... And whoever owns Kishimoto I guess.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **9\. Chunin Exams: Exams Shenanigans**

 ** _In which Shikamaru blames Naruto for everything_**

Naruto had to admit he was shaking a bit. The Kyubi's chakra still felt as stifling as before, the glare on its face still as scary, his teeth just as sharp. If anything, the Nine Tails looked more menacing than ever.

Trying to keep his emotions in check, Naruto opened the discussion.

"Hey Kyubi, it's been a while." The threatening growl encouraged him so he went on. "I remember the first time we met. Now, I might be mistaken, but didn't you use to be... I dunno... _bigger_?"

At this point he failed to hold a snigger and only pissed off his host further.

The Nine Tails growled. "Shut. up. human."

At that point Naruto lost it. "You even talk like a fucking plush toy."

The already furious Biju leapt, aiming for his throat, only to slam against a barrier. Naruto roars of laughter continued, totally ignoring the threats of his tenant. Only the spike in demonic chakra managed to stop him.

"You miserable wretch! How dare you add to my humiliation after all you've already done!"

Naruto blinked. "Done? What the fuck did I do to you? Weren't you the one trying to trick me into killing myself last time we met?" The Kyubi kept its mouth shut. "Well if you're not going to answer, why the hell did you bring it up?"

Naruto tried to change the topic but didn't get the opportunity to do so. "With my chakra in your pathways, we had a link of sorts."

It took a moment to figure what the Fox meant, but when he did, Naruto lost his smile. "What's so fun about seeing my life? You some kind of sadist that gets off people's misery or something?"

The Fox's grin got Naruto's instincts working on overdrive. "Believe it or not, human, even _your_ life is more entertaining than complete darkness. And here I thought you were better than my last jailer."

Naruto twitched. This wasn't why he wanted a chat with the Kyubi, but he'd be damned if he let that tidbit of intel go. "There were more like me?"

"And why should I tell you human?"

Naruto gave it a flat stare. "It depends, what do you hate more; me or boredom?" He had his answer when the fox refused to answer. "Oh well, let's try this in five years, shall we?"

"Wait!" The fox growled in frustration. "What do you want to know?"

Naruto asked about all the previous Jinchuriki. While Kushina was a foreign name to him, Mito wasn't; Uzumaki Mito was the wife of the legendary First Hokage. On the other hand, if he got the name Uzumaki – and he was an orphan, mind you, than he must have been related to that 'Kushina'. Why were all the Jinchuriki Uzumaki anyway? He almost regretted asking for all the questions that popped up. The next logical question then was "What the fuck happened to me? Why I am stuck with you?"

The Kyubi was more reluctant to share that story, and the blond could see why. A Uchiha extracted the Kyubi from Kushina and brainwashed it into attacking Konoha? That was hard to believe. The next part even more so.

"So you're telling me that the Hokage found you and sealed you into me? And you did nothing about it?"

"I tried to kill you."

Naruto probably should have felt angry about that but only found himself shrugging. "Why didn't that work?"

"The Uzumaki have a technique that uses chakra to suppress even the Biju. _She_ used that on me."

That made sense. That even explained why he had been able to do what he did to that seal. Which only meant one thing;

"Uzumaki Kushina was my mother, wasn't she? And she died because of the extraction." That only left his father, but he had a feeling he wasn't ready for that information yet. The Chunin exams were tomorrow after all. "Thanks for telling me this Kyubi. You're pretty decent when you're not trying to kill me." The furball looked disgusted by the compliment. "I might call on you again sometime." And just like that, he dispelled the Biju's consciousness.

Naruto tried to sleep that night but thoughts about his mother, about the Kyubi and about himself, left him no time to do so. Naturally, that meant he had a shorter fuse than usual, and hated any and every cheerful person on principle. That went double for a cheerful Pinky.

"Naru—"

"Save it Pinky, I'm really not in the mood today."

It took a minute of walking in her company to realize what was wrong. The lack of sleep really dulled his senses. "Why were you smiling at me? And what the hell are you even doing here?" his earlier annoyance now replaced with confusion. "You live in the other side of town." She lived close to the Uchiha compound. He had expected to meet them at the entrance to the academy building.

Pinky looked away. "I wanted to talk to you."

Well shit! Clearly he was still sleeping in his bed or something. That's the kind of shit he couldn't even think of. No wait... This was beyond dreams or nightmare. Must be genjutsu then. He activated a seal. When that didn't work, he tried slapping himself, and when _that_ didn't work, he took a second look at his so-called teammate. She was looking at him with _worry_.

"Huh, Naruto—"

Hell, he could even hear the worry in her voice. "Nope. Nope. I'm too tired to be dealing with this shit. Let's just get this exam over with." Naruto said to himself, totally ignoring his pink-haired teammate. Sakura followed quietly.

They reached the academy, finding Uchiha waiting for them. "You look like you're dying," he remarked bluntly.

Naruto threw him a side glance as he passed him. "Yeah? What's it to you?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Nothing. We better not fail this exam because you couldn't handle the pressure."

Naruto stopped and slowly turned to stare challengingly at his teammate. "You think I can't kick your pretentious ass as I am right now?" The Uchiha said everything without saying anything. Naruto's eyes narrowed further, but he left without saying a word.

Naruto walked straight up to the third floor. He looked around the empty hallway in confusion before looking back and seeing none of his teammates.

"...The fuck? Wasn't this shit supposed to happen on the third floor?"

"It is; it's just that your genjutsu seal is activated." Naruto had his kunai out before he even recognised voice. He glared as Shikamaru continued. "There's two sets of Genjutsu on the second floor; one to trick you into believing you walked up two set of stairs, and one on the classroom signs to make you think it's the third floor."

Naruto shook his head. "Fucking Genjutsu," he growled giving Shikamaru the stink eye. "Stop popping out of nowhere."

"You should have mastered unconscious chakra sensing by now. Besides you... you look like hell," he finished, his cocky grin replaced by a worried frown.

Naruto grunted. Aniki was such a worrywart. "I'm fine. The first step of plan K is complete." Shikamaru gave him a sharp glance. "Look up everything you can on Uzumaki Mito, Uzumaki Kushina, and the Uchiha clan especially Uchida Madara."

Aniki committed those names to his memory before he spoke again. "All those people are dead?"

"Yeah." that single word was harder to let out than he thought it would be. "An— I think... I think I found _her_."

Shikamaru's eyes grew wide. "I'll find them, Naruto."

"Thanks."

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

That intense moment between brothers came to an end when Shikamaru heard someone coming. He turned around to see Naruto's teammates. Haruno kept throwing worried glances at Uchiha, who looked a little bruised.

Naruto looked even more tired. "What happened to you?" When no answer came up, Naruto sighed. "And here I thought I was the one putting this team at risk. Let's just get this over with."

They left Shikamaru in the corridor to wonder what got Naruto in that state, and more importantly if he should keep an eye on Otouto. Fatigue dulled reflexes and clouded judgement as well as any drug. Losing his little brother because something like that would haunt him forever.

"Nara Shikamaru you ditched us — again!" He sighed and turned to face his teammates.

"You're the genjutsu specialist, and you're the one who pointed out the genjutsu on the room." All that explanation got him was a slap on the arm, and then Ino chewed his ear off for being too lazy to stay around with teammates. He wanted to point out that it made no sense, but Choji wisely stopped him in time. They arrived in time to see Kakashi vanish and Team Seven enter the room. Ino rushed ahead of them, no doubt to flirt with Uchiha. What he didn't expect was to enter the room and see Ino detach herself from the boy and wrap her arms around Naruto. The blond tried to remove said arms but they were stuck – probably with chakra.

 _"_ _Naru-kun,_ Sasuke-kun is being mean to me."

"And why the fuck should I care, Ino?" He said with rising panic.

The girl giggled. "Now don't be mean Naru-kun, or... What's wrong with you Naruto? You look sick." Ino brought their foreheads together to check his temperature. "You don't have a fever; have you slept well?"

Naruto finally managed to break free, blushing red for multiple reasons. "Don't mother me Ino, it's fucking embarrassing. And don't look at me like that Shikamaru. It's not what it looks like."

He didn't have a mirror to check, but he guessed he looked horrified. This was his worst nightmare coming to life after all; the two troublesome blonds, united in a unholy alliance of trouble. He could already picture the headaches he'd get when they would come seeking him together in order make his life miserable.

And the worst had yet to come, because the rest of their old classmates picked the perfect moment to come in.

Kiba was the first to comment. "What the hell, man? Since when is the dead-last going out with a babe like Ino? What about Sasuke? What about me, damn it!"

Before Naruto could explain his situation, Ino was back to grabbing his arm and fretting over him again. And then Shikamaru saw the something in Ino's eyes and he knew she was somehow having fun at Naruto's expense.

Hinata was trying to curse Ino to death, Kiba was trying to pick up a fight with Naruto, and even the Kurama heiress frowned upon the situation, and she barely interacted with Otouto to begin with. But the weirdest thing was the odd look he could see on Haruno when she thought nobody was looking. She looked worried and happy at the same time.

Shikamaru shook his head and let out a sigh. "Ino, I don't think you noticed, but Kiba isn't the only jealous guy around."

He pointed at the Genin that had already made it into the examination room. Most of them were glaring at the newcomers, mainly at Naruto. Shikamaru took note of each and every face. He would make sure that none of them made Chunin.

Meanwhile, Ino looked genuinely worried. "Sorry Naruto, I didn't mean to put a target on your back.

Naruto snorted. "S'fine. I can probably kick all of their asses anyway."

"You guys really shouldn't try to draw so much attention, especially since you're rookies."

Shikamaru blinked. Whoever that silver-haired Genin was, he was even sneakier than he was.

Naruto looked like he agreed because he looked ready to fight. "And who the fuck are you?"

And just like that, the haphazard rookies turned their stares at the newcomer, their petty squabble already forgotten. Shikamaru thought they could look pretty intimidating when they wanted to.

The young man raised his arms in peace. "Whoa, I'm on your side here, I'm from Konoha as well. My name is Yakushi Kabuto, pleasure to meet you all." When nobody spoke, Kabuto coughed looking a bit uncomfortable. "Really no need to stare at me like that, I'm just here to give you some advice, I'm a kind of veteran of those exams after all."

Kiba perked up. "Veteran? How many exams do you have to survive to become a 'veteran'?"

The young man played with his glasses. "A few I guess, but at least this gave me the opportunity to gather information." That statement got the attention of all the strategic minded Genin... Along with Naruto. "You see, I have these info cards; ask me about someone and you'll be better prepared."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, but before he could comment Uchiha spoke. "Tell me about Gaara and Rock Lee."

Yakushi played with his glassed. "With their names, things are made too easy. Let's see what we have here... Rock Lee, Genin, various D-ranks and C-ranks, even a couple of B-ranks. No proficiency in genjutsu or ninjutsu, high potential in taijutsu. Now for Gaara..." Yakushi let out a whistle. "multiple C-ranks and B-ranks, _two A-ranks_ , _no injuries_ – ever.

Shikamaru frowned. That Gaara was bad news. The most important fact however, was that Yakushi Kabuto knew things a normal Genin shouldn't. Naruto also remained on his guard around the young man. He'd have to be careful.

"Tell me about Uzumaki Naruto and Nara Shikamaru."

He exchanged a glance with Naruto. That Kurama girl was starting to become troublesome. Somehow he wasn't surprised.

At any rate, the silver haired Genin complied. "Uzumaki Naruto, no notable mentions, strengths or weaknesses... Must be a rookie then – I don't have anything on recently promoted Genin. Same for Nara Shikamaru. Sorry about that."

Uchiha looked particularly disgruntled. The more observant Genin noticed and started giving Naruto odd glances, which in turn made the blond twitch in annoyance.

Yakushi was mentioning the different hidden villagers when one Genin team from the Hidden Sound decided to introduce themselves. Shikamaru took a good look at the little skirmish with a keen eye and noticed two things; Oto nin used sound based attacks. Two, it was subtle, but Yakushi forced himself to react slower. He shared a hidden glance with Naruto.

At that time, a scarred, mean looking shinobi barked orders and settled every one for the first part of the examination. Shikamaru groaned when he saw the test paper. According to the man named Morino Ibiki, cheating was frowned upon and if you cheated too much you and your teammates were disqualified. The questions themselves were ridiculously hard. In other words, you had to cheat well. With Ino they had this in the bag. Naruto would probably use fuinjutsu, so no worries there. Maybe he should take a nap.

The sound of broken glass woke him up. He then met what he could only describe as the sexy female version of Naruto and truly wished that could forget ever meeting her. One Naruto was more than enough for several lifetimes.

He would have gone back to sleep, but he was supposed to follow her, or else he would fail. He made sure the message he wrote on his exam was still there and followed the other Genin to the entrance of a forest he wasn't familiar.

Once he arrived, he made a beeline for Naruto. The two made sure they were far from Yakushi before he began.

"What do you have on Yakushi?"

"He had info he shouldn't have, and he has the chakra control and capacity of a veteran medic nin. I'd say he's a Jonin."

It was in time like these that he envied Otouto's sensor abilities. "He held back before the Oto nin attacked, and he stopped them with a glare. And he's very sneaky. I don't trust him at all."

"Yeah I think—" Naruto suddenly stopped to deflect a kunai. It bounced towards Shikamaru who caught it with his index finger. The two glanced towards a smiling Mitarashi. "... I think we should stop talking."

He nodded and paid more attention to the pouting exam proctor. "You guys are no fun! The least you could do is act a little surprised or something, like them!" She pointed at the other participants that had jumped out of the way. Fortunately for him, Mitarashi quickly returned to the topic. "Anyways, come here to sign the waiver and once you do, you'll get your scroll."

Shikamaru sighed, and went with his team. Naruto fell in step with his brother. "So, we meet at the Tower or something?"

"That should work. Let's not take out Konoha Genin if we can." And with that half-baked plan, they separated. Shikamaru, Choji and Ino moved towards gate 25 nervous, but ready.

"So what's the plan, asked Ino?"

"What do you think the plan should be?" He asked back. Seeing the panicked looks on Ino and Choji's faces, Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "We're in the middle of the Chunin exams. Chunin are supposed to be able to lead a team. That means any one of us is good enough to devise a strategy in order to pass this part. I believe in my teammates, and I believe we got this in the bag."

Emboldened by his pep talk, a much more confident Ino said, "Considering our strengths, our best bet would be to be set up an ambush."

"In that case, we should hurry as stealthily as we can towards the tower," added Choji.

"I agree," concluded Shikamaru. "But I'd like to add that if we should have an unfortunate encounter while we travel..."

The members of Team Ten exchanged predatory grins.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

All things considered, the first test was easy. Naruto only had to put a copy seal on the table, see all of the answers written on the table, and pick the answers that repeated themselves the most. The only hard part was stopping himself from cringing. Hyuga Hinata had stared at him for the whole hour. It helped that he was tired and slept some.

Meeting Anko was a breath of fresh air. She had flair, she had style, she was dangerous, and Ino could only wish she was as sexy as that woman. Her banner was kind of pathetic though. Was she trying to look for a boyfriend in the middle of the exams?

He left to follow, hoping that the next part of the exam involved ass-kicking, but not before leaving a note on Yakushi fucking Kabuto. Like hell that guy was a Genin. Hell, even the planted Chunin in the paper test had a less potent chakra than he did.

"Naruto?"

"What do you want, Pinky?" He didn't give her time to answer. "No, actually don't answer that. I'm not in the mood to deal with you."

Her eyes narrowed. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I want hurt something. So unless you're volunteering to be my personal punching bag, I suggest you piss off."

Something in his voice managed to make the threat sink in, and Pinky backed away, looking like she wanted to hurt something herself.

Naruto shook his head and stopped. "I need a break." His teammates stared with annoyance, but stopped.

"Don't we need some kind of password, in case someone pretends to be you?" Pinky suggested.

He rolled his eyes. Maybe you need a password. Seeing her confused expression, he took out one of his sealing cards. "If you think I'm an impostor just ask me do something only I'd can do."

With that said he moved away to relieve himself. He dropped from the trees and frowned. He had somehow stumbled on an ambush site. Now, Naruto would be ecstatic if he really didn't need to go.

"Look guys, I really need to take a piss. Just let me do my thing and then you can jump me or whatever. We cool?"

He took the silence as consent and faced a tree. He heard the whizzing sound of a kunai and let out a frustrated growl. He dodged to see three fools trying to attack him in synch. He lunged left under a Katana swing and managed to deliver a solid right hook while passing through, hitting his opponents left leg. The young man flipped and landed awkwardly, but Naruto was already focused on the apparent leader of the team, he swerved right, left, and jumped over the spiked ball of a kusarigama. The momentum of his jump was enough to reach the other shinobi and punch him before he could raise his sickle to protect himself.

He turned to face the kunoichi, but from the looks of things she was focused elsewhere. Naruto looked down and swore. "Do you fucking mind?"

"Me!? You're the one attacking with—"

"I warned you I was taking a piss; what did you think was going to happen?" the brunette's cheeks turned pink. "So can we do this like civilized shinobi or do I have to turn violent?"

She nodded and Naruto finally found the time to zip his now wet pants. "Just for that, lady, I'm not going to break your bones when I'm done."

Truthfully, Naruto had been using that little break to channel his chakra. He turned around and peppered her with small wind bullets, taking her completely off guard. As she stumbled he rushed behind her and put her in a sleeper hold.

"Not fair," she wheezed.

"Taking a piss," he argued back.

"Nothing... to..."

The blond belatedly figured what she was referring to, but the kunoichi was already out cold. Great, now he'd have to wonder if the only woman who saw his man parts found them adequate or not.

He let her drop to the floor and searched her. Not finding any scrolls, he headed towards the other shinobi. The two of them were in bad shape, but conscious. The katana asshole couldn't walk because of his knee, and the way he had landed dislocated his shoulder. The kusarigama bastard probably had a concussion from the way he still hadn't moved.

"Ok, which one of you has the scroll?"

No answer, but he wasn't expecting answers anyway. He grinned evilly and approached the nearest shinobi. The next moment there was the sound of bones breaking followed by a drawn out howl of pain.

The other shinobi shifted, who incidentally couldn't move, shifted nervously. "A-alright, I'll tell you!"

Naruto looked positively evil. "Don't need to. I'll still break one of your bones. Feel free to take it personal, asshole."

After dishing out more pain, he found the scroll on the katana guy. He cursed when he found out it was an Earth Scroll. But sealed it away, and left to join his teammates.

When they saw him they gave him odd looks. Pinky even wrinkled his nose at him.

"Naruto, could we see one of your cards? Naruto grunted but took out one of his cards and threw it at Pinky. She caught it and let out a startled cry when the card shocked her. "What the hell as they for?"

He shrugged. "I'm still in a bad mood."

He was ready to get into a row with her when he felt it. The potency of the chakra and the sheer wrongness he felt had him breaking a cold sweat.

He tensed. "Something's coming guys."

Something did come. One tense moment later, a focused gust of wind uprooted Naruto from where he was standing and carried him for one or two kilometers. He finally managed to crash into one of the thickest trees in the forest, after breaking through some less sturdy branches. Picking himself from the ground, Naruto tried to find out where he was, or at least, where his team was. No fucking clue.

He started to worry; what kind of asshole used such powerful wind jutsu? He got his answer when his gut told him to dodge. He dove and rolled to his left, barely dodging the... five meter-tall snake?

Naruto let out a small whimper. Not because of the giant snake, but because of the feeling that this was a summoned snake. He threw one of his barrier cards inside its mouth. A few more seconds of dodging and the barrier flickered in and out of existence. Separating whatever was inside of the barrier from what was outside, namely part of the snake's tongue, his left eye and part of its brain. The monster didn't even thrash, it simply collapsed to the ground.

It simply collapsed to the ground!? Maybe it wasn't a summon after all. Naruto wanted to fist pump, but before he could the beast vanished with a telltale 'pop' and a telltale smoke.

"Well shit!"

There was no doubt in his mind that he had to go back, but facing a fucking Sannin was not possible. You couldn't run from one either, not with their current abilities. He could only hope Orochimaru didn't want them dead. Still, if he went right now and got himself killed, Aniki would find a way to resurrect him and make the rest of his eternal life a perpetual nightmare.

Aniki was caring like that.

He took a sealing card with the kanji for "brother" on it and put chakra into it, before moving out. He had teammates to find.

He'd bet a fucking billion ryo Aniki would blame this shit on him again.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Shikamaru felt his breast pocket vibrate and froze, startling his teammates. They had set up a large and hollow tree as their hideout for the night and were about to call it a night. Thousands of different scenarios went through his mind before he actually started moving.

"Shikamaru, what's wrong?" Ino looked tired. It had been a long day.

"I'm going out. Don't wait for me, and don't leave this place under _any circumstances_.

Choji and Ino nodded in confusion. He hadn't explained much, but they trusted him and that was all that mattered. He nodded back before exiting the tree and casting a jutsu on the entrance. Suddenly it looked like there was nothing inside. As long as his friends remained quiet, they would remain hidden. That settled he took out a the sealing card that kept vibrating out of his pocket, and using as a compass, set out to find his little brother at breakneck speed.

Thankfully, they weren't in opposite parts of the forest. Still, he had deliberately steered his team towards Team Seven with the same card, in case of a situation like that, so it only him about fifteen minutes to find him. When he did though he almost had a heart attack. Naruto was on a particularly thick branch, fighting a losing battle against someone leaking out an incredible amount of killing intent. Otouto was barely standing as it was, while his teammates were behind him, under his protection. Uchiha looked unconscious and in pain, while Haruno was crying over him.

Shikamaru made a supreme effort to remain still and analyze his options. From the look of things, that one kunoichi was able to take out Uchiha and injure Otouto. Problem was, Naruto wouldn't call on him unless he had a really, _really_ good reason to do so. Clearly that woman was not a Genin – probably like that Yakushi fellow. Personally, he thought multiple layers of diversions and distractions would be enough, he just hoped Otouto would realize which tactic they'd be using.

Shikamaru took out his bow and aimed.

Kageton: Kage no Ame [Shadow style, Shadow Rain]

The one arrow he let fly turned into a cloud of darkness aimed straight at the mysterious kunoichi. She cocked her head in amusement before blowing them away with a wave of the hand.

"How amusing," the woman purred "I didn't think some would rely on such dated weapons."

By that time Shikamaru had already made his way to his brother and had him move back to his other teammates. The duo froze when they felt the gaze of their opponent on them.

"Oh, what's this, a new toy?" She purred. "You look like a Nara."

"And you don't look like a Genin," he deadpanned.

The kunoichi smiled enigmatically. "And what makes you say that?" she pressed.

Naruto chuckled bitterly. "I think the summoned snakes gave you away."

Shikamaru turned green. Only Otouto would somehow end up getting involved with one of the Sannin. Naruto and he would have _words_ about his _acquaintances_. The kunoichi's smirk grew unnervingly wide.

"But that doesn't make sense. If that's truly Orochimaru, why is she a woman and so young at that? Maybe she's his pupil or something." In truth, Shikamaru was only trying to gain time while Naruto fumbled for the right sealing card, but the question was valid.

"How very astute, as expected from a Nara. But tell me this – why can't I be _both_?"

Shikamaru didn't have a clue about what the madwoman was hinting to, but his feeling of wrongness rose to incredible heights. Time to enact strategy double.

Shikamaru threw a smoke grenade to the ground, took out his bow, and shot a single arrow. Orochimaru's smiled faded a bit.

"Really child, to think that the same—" but the Sannin stopped her rant when the arrow exploded mid-flight. Shikamaru wasted no time. He had used the Shadow Rain Jutsu again, but this time he aimed high. He then quickly put away his bow and threw a grenade with the Kanji for lighting on it. Wasting no time, he rejoined Naruto while the smoke still lasted.

"Ready?"

Naruto nodded, and a moment later they disappeared.

There was a slow clap. "Very good. You managed to harm my mud clone with that onslaught. Not only that but the true purpose of the attack was use that time to escape via Body Flicker... or so it would seem."

Orochimaru descended on the scene from some higher branches. "But did you really think that was enough to fool me?" He sent snakes coming out of his sleeves at the direction where the Genin all were. They hit an invisible wall that materialized. Under the orange dome, the four teenagers eyed him warily.

Suddenly, the triumphant smile of Orochimaru vanished. In one leap he closed the distance and hit the barrier, but it held. The Sannin let his hand flare with chakra and struck again with force, and this time the barrier crumpled, and after a moment, the Genin vanished as well.

Orochimaru blinked before letting out a disturbing chuckle. "How amusing." Only, from the amount of killer intent he was leaking it was anything but. A moment later the oppressive pressure vanished and the Sannin remained still, and then chuckled again.

"Is that Anko I feel? It seems the night keeps getting better and better." She then set out to play with another target.

Five minutes later, Shikamaru was still holding his breath. Actually he was holding Naruto's mouth closed, while Otouto was doing the same for him. Both were hyperventilating, and trying very hard not to scream.

A Sannin's pressure was no joke.

In front of them Uchiha was moaning in pain, and Haruno had begun to come to. Incidentally, they were still in the same tree where they confronted the infamous Sannin; simply on a branch on the other side of the trunk. They had actually used the barrier as a diversion while they carried Uchiha and Haruno away.

The two brothers slowly lowered their hands, remaining quiet still. Naruto managed to gather enough courage to lean ever so slightly to the side of the tree trunk they were hiding behind.

Otouto let out a breath. "Thank goodness for your Shadow Style, Aniki. You just saved my ass big time!"

And just like that, Shikamaru remembered exactly why he nearly had five heart attacks in the last half-hour. "Figures we'd have to fight a Sannin on our first Chunin exam."

Naruto slowly turned towards him "Oh hell no! You did not just blame this shit on me again. That fucking snake bastard was after Sasuke, not me."

"... Remind me again on which team you are?"

Naruto slapped his shoulder. Shikamaru raised his eyebrow. Next thing he knew, he and Naruto were in a slapping match, complete with muttering, clucking sounds and snorts. After a few seconds of utter childishness, the two pointed threateningly at each other. The standoff lasted one minute.

"... What are you two doing?"

Caught red handed by a dazed Haruno, the two looked at each other, and Shikamaru seized the opportunity to strike first. "He started it."

"He was being an asshole!"

"He called me to help him deal with a Sannin."

"He thinks I'm the fucking reason we've been attacked by that fucker."

Shikamaru frowned at that. "How is Uchiha, by the way. You'd think he'd be awake by now."

Haruno turned worried eyes towards her crush. Naruto inspected Uchiha's neck and turned to his teammate. "There's a weird seal where Orochimaru bit him."

Orochimaru bit him? When did that happen? Was Orochimaru a vampire? Would Uchiha turn into a vampire? How could he fix this, could you even turn a vampire back into a human?

Wait...

"A seal...? What are you picking up, Naruto?"

Naruto looked worried. "This isn't good; there's two types of chakra, and the second one is coming from his neck." He shivered. "It feels like Orochimaru."

"He's trying to turn him." Shikamaru reasoned. The conscious members of Team Seven gave him weird looks. "Obviously Orochimaru found a new way to turn himself into a vampire."

Naruto finally nodded as if he had reached the same solution. "Anyway, we need to cut off the chakra until it reaches the brain or the heart. And then we need to seal that chakra up somehow."

"Can you do it?"

"Yeah, but not fast enough. We need to stop his chakra flow somehow."

Shikamaru took out a pill and force-fed it to the feverish Uchiha. After a few minutes, the boy stopped moaning. In fact...

"He's stopped breathing...!" Haruno accused him. "You killed him!"

Shikamaru snorted. "Yeah, he's not dead, his heart has a pulse. I just slowed it a bit."

Haruno gave him a startled glance. "How slow? It's been a minute and..." she let out a yelp when she heard it. "He's alive!"

Shikamaru turned to Naruto. "Go to sleep."

"What? I'm not even tired!" Shikamaru leveled a blank stare. Naruto looked away first. "Okay, so I'm a _little_ tired—"

"You haven't slept since yesterday. You're also about to attempt fuinjutsu on a human being; one of most complex and dangerous type of fuinjutsu. Yet you're trying – without your full faculties," he listed without missing a beat. "Now, if you don't go to sleep right now I will knock you out and draw doodles on your face."

Naruto gave Shikamaru a frustrated look. "You're still not gonna let that shit go?" Shikamaru's plain expression never changed. After a moment, Naruto groaned and found a spot to catch on his rest.

Once he was sure his little brother was asleep, he got up. Haruno looked up from her vigil with worry.

"Where are you going?"

"To get my teammates. You guys need protection while Naruto and Uchiha are recovering. We'll be back soon."

Seriously, the trouble he got into thanks to Otouto. He should write a book about it.

 ** _Epilogue_**

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **A/N: Here's the next chapter, and below is the first bonus chapter. Please don't forget to review. Also sorry if you've received this alert twice. There was a problem with the site.  
**

.*.*.

Naruto was trying to meditate – trying being the key word here. This was the only method of mastering his new ability. Frankly, he didn't know if his new ability was a good thing or a bad thing; all that he knew was that he really sucked at chakra manipulation, whether of shape or nature. Aniki could; he could do both well actually. However Shikamaru focused on helping him get something out of his massive amount of chakra, hence the mediation.

He was half-awake, trying to figure out exactly what people meant by emptying the mind when he suddenly found himself upright, and knee deep in water. Looking around, he found no trace of the abandoned park where he was training. Instead he could see flesh-like walls, taste a rancid smell and feel a smothering atmosphere – A tunnel then, with the exit at his back. As he turned back he felt a slight tug in the opposite direction, deeper inside the tunnels. Always one to follow his gut, Naruto entered and quickly found himself lost, yet strangely, he felt like he was heading in the right direction. Where to? He found out quickly enough.

When he finally left the creepy tunnels, he saw a gate that sent all kind of hair raising. He couldn't see the edge of it, and when he looked upwards, it looked like metal pillars forming the gate were falling into a pitch black abyss.

He was getting vertigo.

Then he heard a growl so deep, so menacing that he felt his soul rattling. He felt like running away, but his feet refused to move. As the growl picked up in intensity, and the desire to flee grew, Naruto suddenly buckled under an oppressive feeling. It was like every good feeling he ever had – not much – left, replaced by dread, anxiety, fear.

The sound of splashing water shocked Naruto into awareness, and he quickly noticed the smell of vomit. Looking down he saw that it came from him. The thought of washing his face came and went, before he focused on the real problem – namely, the gigantic dark-orange monstrosity that looked at him from beyond the pillars. It's growl was enough to send Naruto scrambling back.

The giant fox gave him an appraising look. "So you've come, human." Naruto's focus on the size and power of the monster in front him played against him; the voice of Kyubi startled him so bad he fell in the water.

"What... Where are we?" Naruto asked at last. There was no mistaking this giant beast for anything else.

"Come closer, and I'll tell you."

Naruto moved, but something told him to take a step back instead. A moment later a paw the size of a small house crashed in front of him, sending him flying a couple of meters.

From this point on, Naruto would always trust his instincts.

Naruto remain on his rear for a few moments. Then shock made place for fury. "What the fuck is wrong with you!? You could have killed me!

"That was the point, human."

Naruto ignored the chill coming up his spine. "Well I don't know why my gut led me here, but I'm getting the fuck out of this place – wherever the fuck this is... What the fuck is this place?" He asked anxiously

"This is your mind human."

Naruto blinked. "Aniki was right – my mind is fucked up." He then looked at the jail and the beast inside. "Get the fuck out of my mind!"

The low growl that unnerved Naruto before, only served to annoy him now. "Believe me human, I do not want to be here anymore than you do."

Naruto quickly caught up. "That's why you wanted to kill me? Why the fuck are you in my mind in the first place?"

"And why should I tell you, human?"

A valid point. In fact, if the Kyubi was as evil as he had learned, he shouldn't even trust the thing. Maybe he should take a page from Aniki's book and change tactics.

"So, what can I do to get rid of you?" Seeing the fox give him a calculating look, he explained himself. "You don't want to be here, and I don't want you to be here, so...?"

"You could let me devour you."

Naruto gave it a flat stare before turning around.

"Or... you could take off the seal on this gate and free me from this jail."

Naruto looked at the huge gate again and saw a yellow something straight ahead. He glanced dubiously at giant fox. The Kyubi took a couple of steps back, which only made Naruto's frown more pronounced.

He gulped and slowly crept closer to the gate keeping an eye on the Biju all the way, until he was only a couple of feet from the iron bars, and he could see the tag clearly now. It was weird how that piece of paper was able to trap a demon.

"Do this, human, and those villagers will never look at you with scorn ever again. No one shall escape your revenge."

Naruto's grew wide. Did that mean Shikamaru would suffer as well? His eyes hardened, and before the Fox could even think of harming him, Naruto slammed his hand on the seal and poured as much chakra as he could.

"Screw you!"

The Kyubi let out a howl of fury and tried to crush him. But the bars of his jail lit up with Naruto's chakra and grew thicker.

"You wretched human! You will rue the day—" the rest of the Nine Tails words were cut off by the sound of metal grinding. Naruto took his hand from the seal and moved away trying to get a better view. The jail had turned into a huge metal structure.

Naruto grinned. He didn't know exactly what he did, but he sure showed that Furball who was the boss. Then he blinked.

"How the fuck am I supposed to leave this shit hole?"

.*.*.


	10. A Walk in the Forest (of Death)

**The Yin Yang Twins**

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Disclaimer: Naruto and its universe \ canon are property of Kishimoto... And whoever owns Kishimoto I guess.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **10\. Chunin exams: A Walk in the Forest (of Death)  
**

 ** _In which Naruto's Aniki is revealed - again_**

Two hours later, Shikamaru was back with his teammates. They were up to date and ready to help. Haruno looked relieved that she didn't have to protect her teammates alone. Shikamaru turned to his team.

"You guys will stay and guard Team Seven until Naruto wakes up and works on Uchiha. It's late, but I want to set some traps around."

"I can help you with the traps."

Shikamaru cringed inwardly and turned towards Haruno. "You're not as tired as Naruto, but we'll need you rested if my traps aren't enough to stop the other teams."

She frowned, but nodded. Shikamaru left quickly in case the pink-haired kunoichi changed her mind. He decided to set a moderate perimeter filled with wire traps. He usually set two layers. One series of traps was carefully hidden and barely visible. The other set wasn't visible to the naked eye; it was the same wire Jutsu that had caught his sensei off guard. If it worked on a Jonin, it would work on almost anyone.

The area was large, dense, and unfamiliar, so it took a couple of hours for him to finish. He came back to find Naruto awake and working on his teammate in the spot Haruno hid him in. Otouto was currently busy tracing symbols on Uchiha's face right below his left eye, under the curious glances of the people supposed to guard him. He guessed it was meant to protect Uchiha's Sharingan, his mind, or both. At the rate Naruto was working, it would take a few more hours of constant diligence to finish. The drug Uchiha had taken would last about that long. The next phase would be getting rid of the seal entirely, but that could wait until the exams were over.

To be on the safe side, he would stay even after the sealing attempt was over. Currently, Naruto and Uchiha were vulnerable, and he didn't trust Haruno to protect them from a sunburn, let alone foreign shinobi, or worse, Orochimaru himself. If the seal Otouto was working on actually worked, Team Seven would be fine. If not, he didn't want his little brother to be stuck protecting two liabilities. Since he had done all he could, Shikamaru thought he deserved a nap. He hid Naruto and Uchiha under a simple genjutsu and found a good hiding spot to get some rest.

A rather loud sound woke him up. He made sure the location of the noise wasn't nearby. Seeing from the people around that no one else seemed to have registered the foreign sound, he rose to find the first friendly face he could find.

"Choji, we've got company. Warn the others.

Ten minutes later, Team Ten and Haruno were still waiting to face their opponent. Ino was about to complain, but the noise of rustling branches put them back on high alert. Shikamaru recognized the newcomers; it was the Oto team from the first task. Their annoyance and disheveled appearance left him with a sense of pride. Apparently, his traps had been as effective as he had hoped.

"... And if I find the bastard that put those fucking wire traps, I'm going to strangle him with them."

Shikamaru chuckled, drawing their attention. "I'm glad to know you enjoyed my wires. I put a lot of care and time..."

"Zankuha [Decapitating airwave]!"

Shikamaru moved long before the attack reached him. "So, Uchiha or Uzumaki?"

The boy with short temper blinked in confusion. It was the masked shinobi that answered. Shikamaru guessed he was the leader. "We're here to kill the last Uchiha." he had a condescending air about him. "If you give him up, you can get out of this alive; you can even keep the scroll you have."

"...Fine."

"Shikamaru!"

But he ignored Haruno. "Uchiha is sick and Uzumaki is treating him. They're inside this tree under a Genjutsu." He pointed at a tree to his left.

There was a long pause, and finally their leader spoke. "Zaku."

"Zankuha!"

The tree in question was hollow, but after being blown away by Zaku's attack, there was no trace of neither Otouto nor Uchiha. The leader sneered, "Do you really think we'd fall for a trap?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "It was worth a shot. You fell for my wire traps after all." This time he ran up the tree he was leaning on to escape Oto's anger. He sighed. Any more noise and destruction could distract Naruto. Looks like he would have to intervene. "Right. I guess we'll have to—"

"Take them out, yeah?" said a familiar voice from below, "Fucking yes, please! Perfect workout in the morning."

Shikamaru frowned. "Are you done? You should get some sleep."

But Otouto huffed in annoyance. "Yes I'm done and no way in hell I'm sleeping right now. I've been pissed since yesterday and I didn't get to vent." Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Plus you know I can't help but share the pain; I'm generous like that. Anyway, which one of you wants the honor of getting their ass handed to them by yours truly?"

Naruto jumped out of the way of an airwave attack, rolled to evade senbon coming from the Sound kunoichi and stopped the leader's gauntlet arm from reaching him by kicking him in the gut. "Robot arm, I chose you! I'm going to kick your ass!"

Shikamaru shook his head and interrupted the kunoichi second volley with his own senbon to draw her attention. "Choji, Ino, take her out!"

That left him with the Sound shinobi with the tubes in his hands. The other boy smiled. "This is good; I wanted to kill you anyway for those annoying traps you set up." Then Zaku aimed his hands toward the young Nara but he was already in movement.

Shikamaru had completed the analysis of his opponent by the time he avoided the third airwave and was already preparing his senbon to end this battle, but had to change plans because _someone_ had decided to be troublesome. From the way she moved, she didn't have the stamina or the reflexes to react to a sustained stream of attacks, not to mention she had even less tricks than 'tube-dude' over there.

If he didn't dislike the troublesome girl already he would have just then.

He rushed to her side and tackled her out of Zaku's attack and line of sight. Before she could ask, he trapped her against the tree with his wire. "Stay put, Haruno," he ordered the bewildered girl.

Now that he didn't have any more distractions, Shikamaru decided to finish this. He made multiple clones leave the safety of the tree from both sides while he quickly climbed and jumped from the top branch right over Zaku's head. His aim was true; the boy had barely the time to notice the Senbon before it pierced his forehead. Zaku fell as Shikamaru landed neatly on the next branch. Taking a quick look around, he found Ino and Choji putting the pressure on the Sound kunoichi. He decided to observe and soon enough, Choji managed to trap the girl with his enlarged arms.

"Wait! Enough, I give up!"

"Give up? You think care about you say? I just want to beat the shit out of you. Call me a weakling again, why don't you."

Shikamaru turned to the voices and saw Naruto advancing menacingly before a cowering shinobi. He could see one of Otouto's paper tags stuck on the Sound Genin and could infer what happened – using a muting seal against a sound user was a bit unfair, to say the least. And seeing they were all one-trick ponies... Naruto could have singlehandedly take the team down if Shikamaru had let him.

"Here is the scroll—" he didn't get to finish as Naruto punched him right in the solar plexus. Shikamaru heard a retching sound and as he got closer, he saw something leaking from the team leader's mask.

The young Nara felt a bit sick, but he closed the distance and stopped Naruto from handing more nasty ass kicking. "I need to ask him something," he explained. Naruto snorted, but relented. Shikamaru looked at the other teen. "Who sent you?" when the boy refused to answer, Shikamaru went on. "Any relation with the traitor Orochimaru?"

That got a reaction, which in turn made Naruto frown. "What, you think the two attacks are linked? But why would he send some assassins after he tried to turn him?"

"Turn him?" the boy asked, confused. He then must have figured something out because his eyes flashed threateningly. Shikamaru would have missed it if he hadn't been looking for it.

He cocked his head. "If you didn't know, that means you weren't meant to know. I can think of only one reason for that – you guys were guinea pigs."

The Sound shinobi remained quiet, but refused to meet their eyes. Shikamaru wouldn't bet on it, but thought his assumption was correct. That meant Orochimaru had some affiliation to Oto. The Hokage would want to learn about this. In the mean time, he turned to their captive. "Take your friends and go. And please leave your scroll on the way out."

The masked boy glared back, but when he saw that his stare had no effect on the young duo he capitulated. He took out his heaven scroll – Naruto swore in relief – and helped his female teammate carry Zaku away. As they limped away, the Oto team stopped, and their leader spoke.

"My name is Kinuta Dosu, and you'll regret letting me live."

Shikamaru heard Naruto snort. "You're fucking welcome, asshole. Some people are just fucking rude!" Shikamaru gave him an pointed look, but the blond had the audacity to be confused.

"... What?"

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

In the end, Shikamaru decided to stick around until Uchiha woke up, which went to show that sometimes having a worrywart as brother wasn't a bad thing. Of course, while Naruto wanted Shikamaru to stick around, he could have done without the extras – these extras being pretty much everyone else. Choji was okay at least. Ino had changed from cool to flee on sight, and the rest of Team Seven... Anyway, add to that the fact he was stuck carrying his unconscious teammate, and you could see why Naruto was glad his brother was here. Still...

"This is fucking tedious." Shikamaru gave him a curious look. "Bastard keeps slipping off at this rate, might as well walk all the way to the tower.

"Maybe you should." He glared at Aniki, who raised his hands in mock surrender. "All I'm saying is Uchiha won't slip if you're not jumping around."

He already thought it was a bad idea from the way Ino was looking at him, but the asshole nearly killed himself twice by squirming out of his grip, and while he had worked in stopping Orochimaru's seal from turning him, Uchiha still suffered from a debilitating fever. They really shouldn't be moving him at all.

Fucking Uchiha and his protagonist syndrome.

The moment he landed, Ino fell into step with him, grinning evilly. Meanwhile Shikamaru and Choji remained in the back, enjoying the blissful silence under the pretense of guarding duty. Pinky hovered around, if only because of her future husband he carried.

"So, did you miss me?"

He eyed the blonde wearily, the way she was smiling at him was innocent enough, but he didn't have the patience to deal with her right now. "I'm carrying Uchiha if you haven't noticed."

"I know. Easily too. Maybe you can convince Choji that he doesn't need to look like he does to be strong."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "We both know that me and Choji don't train the same way."

Pinky looked a bit put out for some reason. "What's up with you two?" She almost whined

"I'm just teasing little Naru-kun here. He has the best faces." Naruto managed to support his load and give her the finger while she blew a raspberry at him.

Pinky twitched. "Since when are you two so close?"

"Since he proposed to me, obviously."

The only sound in the vicinity was that of Choji choking on his chips. Shikamaru had a look of absolute horror on his face, while Pinky had a tick under her eye. As for Naruto, his brain has frozen.

Ino faked a blush. "Of course, it was a little crude, but it was also romantic in its own way. He even wants to learn the Yamanaka family jutsu."

"Stop fucking around, Ino. Nobody's going to believe you. The only thing I proposed was a bet – which I totally won, because I'm fucking awesome, thank you very much. We're just friends; though I'm starting to rethink my decision."

Naruto noticed the beam on Ino's face and the frown on Pinky at the mention of his friendship. He couldn't believe Aniki was right about Ino. Too bad all his friends sucked.

"Can't I have just _one_ friend that isn't a dick?"

"Hey!"

"Besides Choji, I mean."

"It's physiologically impossible for me to be a dick, Naruto. But it's nice to finally admit your feelings for me."

"Piss off Ino."

"But you're my future hubby."

"So help me Ino, I will smack—"

A groan of discomfort stopped the threat. Naruto laid his cargo on the ground and waited. With any luck, Uchiha would wake and be fit enough for travel. Naruto's luck being what it was a burst of malicious chakra came from Sasuke instead.

Shikamaru looked worried. "Does that mean your seals failed?"

Naruto cocked his head noticed where the chakra was coming from. "Actually, that doesn't mean anything." He wanted to explain his theory on what was happening, but from the corner of his eye, he saw Uchiha disappear. He barely had the time to brace himself that he felt a solid punch dislodge him with the strength of a horse. He landed a couple of meters back, looking at his left arm in consternation.

Naruto swore loudly. That punch would definitely bruise. The smug bastard actually looked pleased about it.

"Looks like I'm stronger than you now."

Naruto blinked before his eyes narrowed dangerously. If the bastard was looking for a beating he'd get what was coming to him. He made a step, clearly intent on finishing this fight, but as he shifted his weight on his leg to attack he stumbled when suddenly Shikamaru appeared in his line of sight, with senbon coming out of his hands. Naruto winced when Aniki stabbed the unsuspecting Sasuke in the heart with them.

Well Shit! This was bad.

Uchiha's eyes grew wide before he fell. Sakura's scream was the first reaction that followed, but it was Ino's movement towards Shikamaru that prompted Naruto to action. He grabbed Ino – and Haruno for good measure and hissed urgently, "Uchiha's not dead and he won't die. Don't make it worse."

They gave him a fearful glance, confused and terrified by what was happening. As for Naruto, he was looking at Aniki with a bit of trepidation. "Um Shikamaru, don't you think—"

"Be quiet Naruto," he said a bit distractedly, "I'm busy right now – I'll deal with you later."

Naruto wilted. Oh, this was worse than bad; Aniki was _pissed_. So far Shikamaru had only reached that level of anger twice; both times Naruto has nearly killed himself doing something stupidly reckless. Both times the young Nara had behaved perfectly normal... until Naruto had suddenly suffered his wrath. The worst part was to the naked eye Aniki looked perfectly normal, if only a bit tired and annoyed. No killing intent, no scowl, any hiss or sneer, yet a moment ago he had stabbed Uchiha as casually as someone would talk about the weather.

As if to confirm Naruto's fears, Shikamaru addressed the downed Uchiha. "Now Uchiha, what you're feeling... or rather, what you're not feeling is _your heart_."

Naruto's teammate was still struggling to move, with his hand painfully clutching his chest. Shikamaru eventually snapped his fingers. Sasuke's heart started beating again, and the boy coughed and convulsed, before letting out a shuddering breath. When the teen finally looked at Shikamaru it was with apprehension.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. He let himself fall on his rear and let out one of usual sighs. "Relax Uchiha; if I wanted to kill you or hurt you I would've done so. Still, now that I have your attention and that your new chakra tattoos are gone let's talk."

"You see, I think trying to hurt people with chakra you never used before is a very _bad_ , very _dangerous_ and very _stupid_ idea. And the first thing you did was to hurt Naruto, who was trying to save you – at his own risk too."

Naruto sighed. Aniki took the whole overprotective thing to the extreme.

"Consider this a warning if you like – Because _there won't be a third offense_."

Uchiha have Shikamaru a disbelieving stare. "You're Aniki."

Naruto and his brother exchanged a look. No use in hiding their secret now. "Congratulations," Shikamaru answered, "you're not an idiot. I'm surprised you guys didn't figure it out sooner – and by surprised I mean terribly amused."

" _You're_ Aniki?" Ino nearly spluttered. Naruto understood her reaction quite well. She gave her teammate a second look and shuddered. "I guess I should have known. That makes a lot of sense actually. And here I thought you already were scary enough."

Shikamaru looked confused. "I'm not—"

"You're super scary!" Naruto yelled, pointing an accusing finger at him. He blinked when he noticed Ino had done the exact same thing.

Aniki frowned, before looking at his best friend. "Do I look scary Choji?"

The Akimichi cocked his head to the side. "I'm not seeing it," he finally concluded. Even Haruno looked at him in disbelief.

Shikamaru nodded as if that settled everything. "Well at least one of you has common sense." He then glanced at Naruto. "As for you Naruto..." the blond gulped. "He used an unknown form of chakra to attack you and you didn't dodge? We're you trying to get yourself killed? Maybe you're a bit too immature to become Chunin after all."

That stung. He hated when Aniki went for his feelings like that. "Don't fuck with me! Do you know how hard I busted my ass off for this!?"

"What I know," he said frostily, "is that dead people don't achieve their dreams."

"And I survived the fucking snake Sannin himself. Your point?"

Shikamaru frowned. "You should have run. obviously."

Naruto opened his mouth, but closed it to think about what Shikamaru was saying while the other shinobi were looking at Shikamaru like he had suddenly sprouted wings. From what Aniki heard from him he didn't want anything to do with his teammates. And going back to risk his life for them went against all his plans – if all went well he'd never have to see them again.

Forget risk, going after a Sannin in that situation and with his abilities was suicide, plain and simple.

"You're right," he admitted. "I guess I wasn't thinking."

Now everyone was looking at him like he had just announced he was the Kyubi.

Shikamaru shook his head. His face held annoyance, amusement with a large amount of fondness mixed in. "You were thinking, or you wouldn't have called me. You're just a fool."

Naruto frowned. Shikamaru kept calling him a fool and damn it he'd know why! Suddenly, Aniki's hand ruffled his hair. "Damn it Aniki! Not the hair! I'm almost taller than you, for fuck's sake!"

Shikamaru smiled. "I can't help it – I have the best otouto in the world."

He blushed furiously. "Fuck you Aniki! Embarrassing me in public like that." Naruto still found those parcels of affection too much for him. He wanted to lie about the fact that was happy about it, but before he could he tackled by an almost hysteric Ino.

"Oh my goodness Naruto, you're so cute! I always wanted a little brother! Don't worry I'll take good care of you! I'll cuddle you and tease you, and take you shopping for clothes and then..."

"Wait!"

And just like that the world was back to normal – besides the fact that Ino was still attached to his arm. Naruto looked at Haruno with same expression Aniki had on his face –annoyance.

"You wanted Naruto to abandon us?" the pink-haired kunoichi was understandably upset. What a fucking hypocrite.

"When Orochimaru first leaked her killer intent, what did you do?" Shikamaru looked disturbed for a moment, and for good reason – Naruto himself didn't know what to think of a female version of Orochimaru.

"Well, we tried to run. She was way out of our league."

"As you should have. Now, when you ran, which direction did you take – towards Naruto's position or away from him?" She answered with a confused frown, so Aniki increased the pace of his questions. "Did you even take Naruto in consideration when you ran? Do you know what happened to him when he went flying? Did you take into account the he was already sleep deprived?"

The way Haruno paled and kept throwing him guilty glances almost made him feel sorry for her. Shikamaru paused, if only to let the next words sink.

"Now consider this. You guys fled from a dangerous Genin, thinking she was too tough to handle. Naruto came back for you knowing you guys were fighting a _Sannin_ , meaning he knew that going back meant he had no chance of winning, and no chance of escape."

All Naruto heard however, was how much Aniki cared, and how he had almost dragged his sworn brother to hell with him. Ino, who still had to let go of his arm, squeezed his hand in comfort. Maybe he should see the good thing about having a sister. Maybe she would stop trying to embarrass him to death...

Who was he kidding! He could only hope that would mean no more flirting at least.

Shikamaru sighed. "Anyway, we should all head out together. People will be more wary of our numbers, so if Uchiha is fit for travel, let's be on our way."

For once, nobody argued.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

The trip to the tower went about as well as Aniki predicted. And they arrived at the end of the third day since the beginning of the second exam. Besides fatigue, and Uchiha's new seal, they were fine. Once they arrived, both teams opened their scrolls at the same time. The Genin were pleasantly surprised to see their old Chunin instructor come out of the scrolls.

Naruto let the smarter members of the teams answer the riddle, and off they were to some peace and quiet.

Iruka-sensei looked pleased. "I must admit, seeing your two teams arriving like that shows that you understand the strength of numbers. Unfortunately you'll be on your own from now on."

Only Sasuke and he had perked up at the news, the rest frowned. Naruto would worry about that later. For now, there was a bed with his name on it somewhere and no one would get in his way. He felt a sudden familiar chakra and turned to face his Jonin instructor. He blinked, but took it in stride. He had a report of some sort to make anyway.

"So, how are you, my cute Genin?"

"We're alive. Considering Orochimaru attacked, that's fucking unbelievable." he answered bluntly. Kakashi's lack of surprise was reassuring. That meant the people in charge had an idea of what was going on. Frankly he had no fucking clue.

"I'll have you tell me the details of that later. What do I need to know?"

"Yakushi Kabuto needs to be watched. Orochimaru seems to have ties with the Hidden Sound Village. That's about it."

The Jonin nodded, and left. Team Seven and Ten found empty rooms next to each other and settled there. Naruto claimed the bed next to be the window for himself and stopped himself from simply dropping dead on the mattress. He rubbed his eyes tired and looked at his teammates.

"If you have something to say, make it fast – I'm tired."

"You didn't tell Kakashi," Sasuke noted.

He looked at Haruno and she shrugged. "I wanted to, but you told me not to."

"I didn't tell Kakashi yet," he agreed. "I'll tell him after I'm sure they won't take you out of the exams – _if_ you don't do anything stupid like reactivate the Snake Bastard's seal."

Uchiha nodded. There wasn't more he could ask considering what happened.

After that, Naruto slept through the afternoon and the night of the third day.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

He woke in a good mood and left in search for food. Thankfully the tower was furnished with a canteen in the lower floors. There wasn't any ramen, meaning there wasn't any _real_ food, but what passed for gruel was filling enough and the fruits were sweet. Sitting at the table he had chosen was the last person he wanted to see. Well, the last Genin he wanted to see – if he never saw Orochimaru for the rest of his life, it would still be too soon.

Having Gaara sitting across from you and staring holes into you was interesting in a way. Of course by interesting, he meant right down scary. The kid was freaky enough, the demonic chakra he could sense fluctuating inside the red-haired had him wanting to run away about a hundred times in a span of thirty seconds. The fact like the teen looked like a psychopath was just a bonus.

Naruto ignored him; the less they interacted, the better. The red-haired boy had other ideas. "You! What is your name?"

Naruto groaned mentally. "Uzumaki Naruto."

"You ran away from me, Uzumaki Naruto."

He muffled a curse. So the boy had noticed the true reason Naruto had fled with Konohamaru that day. "Yeah, I did."

"You are either wise or a coward, but it doesn't matter. Mother warns me about you. You and I will cross paths, and then, mother will have your blood."

And here he thought Uchiha becoming a vampire was bad. This kid sounded like _he_ was the demon, not just its host. He really didn't need a jinchuriki after him. Orochimaru aiming for his teammate was plenty to worry about. Thankfully Gaara left, only to be replaced by another annoyance.

"What's up with him? Friend of yours?"

Speak of the Uchiha and he shall appear. "Better than that, Uchiha – he's like me," Naruto growled, "and I mean 'like me' in the worst possible way."

Sasuke stopped himself from looking at Gaara at the last moment. Instead he held Naruto's gaze with some trepidation. "He's like you? The black card?"

Naruto nodded. "He also might be insane."

This time the boy couldn't help but look. Eventually his gaze returned to Naruto. "Can you win?"

He shrugged. "Dunno, maybe?" Uchiha let out a hollow chuckle and Naruto grinned. "Welcome to the small leagues, Uchiha."

His teammate remained quiet for a while. "Nara really is Aniki, isn't he?"

He actually smiled at that. "Is it that hard to believe?"

"He's the one who made you this strong."

Naruto frowned. He didn't like where this was going. "Yes and no. He gave me the motivation to become strong, and he was a great sparring partner. The rest is all on me."

Uchiha's frustration rose. "Every time I think I'm getting stronger—"

Naruto cut him. "You realize you can become even stronger? You really should stop whining. Did you see me whine after getting my ass kicked by Orochimaru? Hell, even you accepted that it was beyond help. The man you're after, is he as strong as a Sannin?"

For once the proud Uchiha looked unsure. "Maybe."

"Bullshit! And you actually thought you'd reach that level at what... Thirteen!? You're doing great – hell, you're the fucking Rookie-of-the-year!"

"And that means nothing if the dead last is more powerful than me. But it won't stay that way for long. I will have power, and I will reach my goals."

Naruto scoffed. "Fine, but let's not pretend I actually _was_ the dead-last. And if you think I'll just wait for you, you're fucking delusional."

Uchiha's mood improved, and when Haruno appeared a smile on her face, he left her speechless by smiling back. Naruto rolled his eyes and left while Pinky was still frozen. He had to talk to Aniki anyway.

On the last floor he found his target, walking towards the center of the building. Naruto entered a room after him and saw some sort of arena.

Shikamaru spoke before Naruto reached him. "I have a bad feeling about this room."

Naruto grunted. "I just hope I don't have to face you in that arena. Or that Gaara kid, according to Kiba the boy can control sand."

"Must be a Jinchuriki thing." Shikamaru paused before his expression became thoughtful. "I'm curious. It's been a while since we fought. Do you think you'd win?"

"Absolutely no clue. But I'm not losing this time." Naruto decided to change the subject before he dragged his brother down that arena. "Oh! Wanna see something awesome!?"

Shikamaru gave him a warning look. "Is it legal?"

Naruto snorted, insulted by the question. "It's project K if you must know."

"Here?"

"Actually this is the perfect place to do so" Naruto answered excitedly. "There's some kind a chakra jamming device here."

Before he could say more, the door to their part of the balcony opened. They turned and saw his pink-haired teammate. Shikamaru gave him a bland look and Naruto was starting to wonder if helping his teammate back in the Forest of Death had been a good idea. If people kept getting in the way of his family time, sooner or later he would react very... badly to it. In the mean time, he stared straight at her without a word.

She coughed. "Can we talk?"

And just like that, Naruto's mood returned to being shitty. He had only tried to escape that discussion since forever. "Only if Aniki is there."

If he sounded childish, that's because he was.

The girl paled. "So he really is Aniki."

Despite his humor, this amused him. It seemed their acting was worthy of praise. What tickled him was the image people had of Aniki. "Let me guess – you thought Aniki was much older right?"

She shrugged uncertainly, but the sworn brothers could tell Naruto had hit the mark. "I guess I don't mind having an audience for what I'm about to say," she finally said.

"I'm sorry Naruto."

If the blond didn't react for the next few seconds, it was because his mind was looking for a spark of emotion regarding this development. When he only found mild annoyance he cocked his head in wonder. "... Huh."

Haruno looked anxious. Shikamaru hadn't moved a muscle, but Naruto was pretty sure Aniki was angry. Hell, he should be pissed at her. But since Haruno was in his shit list, his feelings for her had changed as well. He just hoped things would end with this apology, and then she would go back to fawning over Sasuke again. "You know, I probably should be an asshole about this, but I don't feel like it. But just to be sure – why are you apologizing?"

Sakura looked uncomfortable. "For being awful to you all this time. I don't know why—"

"Because I was annoying at first," Naruto answered for her.

"And because that was the cool thing to do – everyone else was doing it," Shikamaru added.

Naruto scoffed. He was starting to lose patience. "Just answer the question Pinky." She looked a bit lost. "You were a real bitch since the Academy; so why do you want to apologize now?"

Haruno flushed. "W-well you never answered my question – why did you help me last week?"

Naruto's eye twitched. "Being on my shit list doesn't mean I want you to die. I just mentioned it... what, five times already?"

"That's it...?"

Naruto threw his hands up in frustration. "What else did you expect? I'm not some kind of fucking monster. Now stop dodging and answer the fucking question!"

Pinky went back to flushing again. "I... When you helped me last week, it made me wonder. Why would you help me? The more I thought about it and the more... I felt... I feel awful."

The worse was that Haruno really did look remorseful.

Naruto shrugged. "I forgive you." Pinky looked at him uncertainly, before a tentative smile graced her features. "If you're done, I'd like to talk to Aniki for a moment."

Haruno nodded and left.

Naruto turned to his brother and his demeanor changed. "OK, what aren't you telling me."

Shikamaru shrugged. "She apologized. Let's leave it at that."

Naruto growled. " _Aniki_."

Shikamaru started to twitch. "Why do you have to be so stubborn about this?"

"She made you angry. Hinata doesn't make you angry so I want to know why." Aniki remained quiet. "Don't make me use the fucking puppy dog eyes, 'cause you know I will."

Shikamaru sighed loudly. "Just remember you forgave her." Naruto stared at him. "Haruno tried to prevent our classmates from falling under your negative influence."

That bitch! Was this why Kiba had been acting distant at the end of their— his breath itched. He looked at Shikamaru, one of his classmates that would only know of Sakura's behavior because...

He disliked Hinata for her dislike of Aniki. For him that was a sin. _Trying to turn Aniki against him_... He had no words. And more than anger he felt betrayed. Aniki had let him crush on someone like _her_. He didn't even know where to direct his anger – Haruno, Aniki, or himself for not knowing about something like that happening behind his back.

"I guess—"

"Of course, I'm fucking pissed! I'm angry! I can't fucking believe you! You let me _forgive_ her."

"Yes I did. I'd suggest you let it go, Otouto."

"Let it go!? She tried to turn you against me!"

"I know, but forgiveness is for _your_ peace of mind, not hers. You have to let go of your negative emotions."

Naruto blinked. The bullshit Aniki was spewing made an awful lot of sense except for one thing.

"What about you, you fucking hypocrite?"

Shikamaru smiled. "Oh, I'm totally for it. It just sounds too troublesome to be honest. Why don't you do it first? We'll see if it's worth the hassle."

Naruto's temper deflated. A smile tugged at his lips. "Dick."

"Anytime. But seriously though, all that frowning will give you wrinkles. I heard it'll also turn you edgy."

Naruto lightly punched Shikamaru's shoulder while vainly smothering a laugh.

What would he do without his dear Aniki?

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **A/N: Hey y'all! Apparently the alert system didn't work last time I posted a chapter so some of you lucky people will have two new chapters to read. Anyway summer is here, so in theory I'll have more time to write. We'll see... Anyway here's another bonus chapter. Again, if you have suggestions for bonus chapters, please let me know. And don't forget to review!  
**

.*.*.

It had been a few weeks since Shikamaru had met and befriended Choji. He was surprised by the plump boy's kindness and humor. Better yet, Choji also enjoyed lazing around some times. And Choji's dad was friends with his dad. It's like they were fated to at least become friends.

Shikamaru was in fact on the way to meet Choji at a restaurant when he walked by the park where they first met. He never liked parks that much – too much people and the good nap spots were in plain sight – but he heard kids arguing and he was a curious boy.

"Come on! Why can't I play ninja with you? I'm at least as fast and strong as anyone of you!"

"Who would ever want to play with you? My mom says you're mean and nobody likes you!"

That was odd Shikamaru did not remember his mother warning him about any kids. This sounded so similar to what happened to Choji that he decided to see what would happen for himself.

He walked and saw around ten kids surrounding a scrawny blond boy. His white t-shirt had sings of heavy wear, and his shorts looked like that they had spent too much time in the washing machine. What really stood out were the whisker-like marks on his face, like a cat. The boy looked angry at first, and then so sad. He was waiting for the blond to leave so he could cheer him up like he did for Choji but the kid surpassed his expectations.

The blond grit his teeth and took a fighting stance that would probably hurt him before he managed to harm the other. Still, the boy had guts.

"Then I'll just kick all of your asses!"

"You're stupid! There's no way you can win! It's twenty against one."

Shikamaru scoffed, drawing the attention of everyone. Of well, as much he didn't like getting involved with other children, he disliked those annoying children even more. These were the same kids that made fun of Choji.

He sighed, and approached the kids. "You guys really need to learn how to count. You guys are way less than twenty. And also," he took a proper stance near the blond boy, "it's ten against two."

They all looked at him like he was an alien – even the blond, that ungrateful idiot. Thankfully, the other boy replaced his irritating astonishment for a grin that spelled pain for his enemies.

"Alright let's do this shit!"

Five minutes later and Shikamaru regretted ever interfering with those boys. It took that long to have him battered and bruised on the playground. His mom would have his head. And to add insult to injury, the blond boy was there unharmed, and smiling at him.

"You know, when you took your pose, I thought you were some hot shit."

He had thought so as well. Apparently training didn't beat experience, and from the moves he had seen the blond do, Shikamaru was by far outclassed when it came to that.

"Still, you're not that bad. We won after all."

Shikamaru decided to ignore him in favor of watching clouds. He was hurting all over. Maybe he should have a small nap before he faced his mother's wrath.

"Oi, what are you doing?"

"Leave me alone."

The blond chuckled. "I'm Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto."

"... Nara Shikamaru."

"Want to hang out?"

Shikamaru shrugged. It wouldn't be so bad having Naruto around. He wasn't boring at least. He and Choji would make good friends.

"I'm not moving from this spot though."

"Cool." After ten seconds Naruto fidgeted. "This is boring. I'm going to eat some ramen! Let's meet tomorrow at this park."

"Sure, why not."

Naruto did not come the next day, and it would take Shikamaru a week to figure out Naruto had been banned from the park.


	11. Preliminaries

**The Yin Yang Twins**

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Disclaimer: Naruto and its universe \ canon are property of Kishimoto... And whoever owns Kishimoto I guess.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **11\. Chunin Exams: Preliminaries**

 ** _In which Shikamaru in very unimpressed with the Shinobi Healthcare  
_**

Naruto was in a pissy mood. Yesterday, he was supposed to have some Aniki-time, but people kept interrupting him, starting with Pinky of all people. He was still mad at Shikamaru for hiding her monstrosities from him. Speaking of hiding, Naruto was making full use of his sensor skills, and he still had trouble finding Aniki. Eventually, he ended in the same arena room from the day before. Naruto's eye twitched – he still couldn't sense Shikamaru, but the asshole was right there, lounging on the balcony.

Naruto crept silently behind his brother and growled, "Oi, you're not avoiding me, are you?"

Shikamaru did not jump, but he did close his eyes and sigh. "Yes, yes I was."

"Why?"

Something in his tone encouraged Shikamaru to reply, because he answered without his usual sarcasm. "Because you're ready to rip someone's head off."

Naruto flinched before pouting. "It wouldn't be _your_ head. I'd probably give it to you as a souvenir – the head I mean."

Shikamaru twitched. "I love you too, Otouto, but if you ever give me a _severed head_ , for _any_ occasion, I will use that head to smack you."

Naruto flashed a toothy grin, and two exchanged amused glances before he broached the topic of yesterday again. "So about that demonstration..."

Shikamaru blinked. "Is there something you want, Naruto?"

Naruto nearly started to poke his fingers. "I want you to meet it."

Shikamaru turned to give his brother a long look. "If I didn't know you better I'd be thinking that you're nervous about introducing me to a _friend_."

Naruto blinked in confusion. For a second he was the picture of innocence. Shikamaru looked mollified and aggravated at the same time and he inwardly smirked. He still his killer look. "I have absolutely no idea, what you're on about, Aniki. Now do your invisible thingy."

Shikamaru snorted as he made the hand seals. "How come your techniques are always awesome jutsu and mine are always 'thingies'? And don't think I don't know you changed topics."

"Because your thingies are cheating – even by shinobi standards. They should be outlawed."

Naruto's pout only made Aniki smile as he slammed his hand on his shadow. Shikamaru's shadow grew to a two-meter radius below them, before rising and forming a dome. A moment later the shadow bubble disappeared, tinting Naruto's view like a pair of sunglasses would. To the outside world however, it would look like they had vanished.

His part done, Shikamaru looked at him. "So, do you have a thingy to prevent the Kyubi's chakra from causing a mass panic?"

Naruto bristled. "Seals aren't _thingies_."

"There no different than my jutsu."

"Your jutsu are unfair."

Shikamaru raised a brow. "The _Hiraishin_ was made with fuinjutsu. The _whole concept of Jinchuriki_ is possible only by fuinjutsu."

Naruto flushed. "... Shut up, Aniki."

During the banter, Naruto set up a series of seals with the purpose of hiding chakra. It wasn't perfect and a little impractical to use, but good enough for the little amount of Biju chakra that would leak. In reality it was unnecessary, but Aniki wouldn't risk it, so he humored him. Once done, he took a black card with an intricate sealing pattern.

"Demonic Mind Transfer Jutsu."

Naruto's flinched as a small amount of the Kyubi's chakra left him to enter the card. Unfortunately Shikamaru didn't miss that – that promised nagging later on. Right now, chakra was emanating from the card and forming a one-tailed fox. Naruto saw Aniki ready one his shadow cocoons just in case.

A moment later and the fox lunged for Aniki's throat, but Shikamaru instinctively countered by slamming the shadow ball on thing's muzzle. By the time the Kyubi got its bearings back, Naruto had grabbed it by the scruff of its neck.

The fox struggled and unleashed his chakra. Shikamaru took a step back, probably because of the chakra. Naruto wasn't affected however. The blond stated pouring his own chakra over the Kyubi – It was like water dousing the flames, so much that the fox looked uncomfortable. Served that furball right! He had half a mind to drown that retched thing. How dare he try that on Aniki!

"Naruto, I think you're suppressing its chakra." Naruto blinked. Apparently, he was so awesome he managed to surprise himself. Once the Kyubi stopped struggling, he slowly stopped the chakra output.

The fox looked quite unhappy. "Damn you Uzumaki! Damn the cursed Uchiha, damn the stupid Senju, and most of all damn you Uzumaki!"

Naruto blinked, before he started shaking the fox by the scruff of its neck. "Oi, listen to me. You try to harm Aniki again and I'll make your eternal life an eternal hell."

The fox glared at Naruto with hatred. "Curse you, human. I will enjoy ripping you to shreds when I'm finally free."

...Shit. Shikamaru was going to murder the Kyubi. Never mind the fact that it was _impossible_ , Aniki would find a way. He _always_ did. Now if that wasn't a fucking scary concept he didn't know what was. For the furball's protection, he hid the Kyubi from Shikamaru's sight. "Oi, you dumbass! _Apologize right now_!"

"Why are you hiding him, Naruto? It's not like I can kill it or anything," Naruto shivered. He knew that tone. He knew that look. Naruto knew him better than anyone did, and that meant he knew Shikmaru was pissed again – inside of two days no less. Was the world in a hurry to end or something? He shook the furball again and warned him with a small hiss.

The fox growled uncertainly. "Your 'Aniki'... There is no aura around him, he shows no hint of anger, or killing intent, and yet I still feel threatened."

That thing had a good reason to. Aniki made two hand signs, followed by the famous rat seal.

"Shadow virus."

Naruto watched in horror as the threads of shadow still on the fox shifted before it _sank_ into its fur. A moment later the Kyubi roared before trying to claw itself to death.

"Shikamaru!" he hissed at his brother.

Pain. The Kyubi was in pain. Aniki had managed to fucking _hurt_ the Kyubi and he just met the thing! Shikamaru was looking at the thing in morbid fascination. And the furball was howling in pain.

" _Shikamaru!_ "

"Alright, alright." Shikamaru snapped his fingers and the howls stopped. The shadows poured out of wherever they had hid before and vanished. The silence was filled with shallow breathing for a moment.

"Your deaths shall be neither quick nor painless. No... I will eat you myself dissect you inch by inch until—"

"Oi," Naruto's tone was exceedingly calm. Screw what Aniki had just done – _no one_ threatened Aniki. "You finish that threat I will let Aniki finish what he started." The Kyubi snapped his mouth shut. He glared at Naruto with all the hatred it could muster. That was quite impressive.

"Stop looking at Otouto like that."

The Kyubi's glare switched to the floor. Naruto was surprised the floor hadn't burst into flames yet. He looked at his brother and groaned. "Shikamaru, I wanted to _talk_ to him. We need to work on our good nin, bad nin routine."

Shikamaru looked at him. "What routine? Do you want to play the _good_ nin?"

"Fuck no!" Shikamaru kept staring at him. "... Right. That wouldn't work. Bad nin, worse nin, then?"

Aniki sighed. "Can't we just compete to see who can make someone talk the fastest, or something?"

Naruto's eyes shone at the idea of a contest. "Oh, this is so on!"

The two nodded and decided to stare at the Biju. It took five minutes but the sulking fox finally reacted.

"What do you want from me?" The fox growled between breaths.

Naruto spoke, since it was his idea. "Listen. Carefully. I'm only going to make this offer _once_. You screw this up and we're done. You go back into my gut and I'll forget you."

The Kyubi bared its teeth, but remained quiet.

"I want an alliance."

The beast snorted. "And what do I get out of this 'alliance' of yours?"

"You get a body outside of my gut like now — with enough chakra to be a threat." There was a pause as the fox considered Naruto's words carefully. "And if I trust you, I'll only keep enough chakra to keep myself alive."

The Kyubi lifted its head, showing a cunning grin that sent shivers down his spine. "I'm listening, human."

The sworn siblings exchanged a look. It seemed Plan K was in full motion as of now.

Naruto grinned as well. "Here's the deal..."

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

"And so, we will be holding a preliminary round, seeing there are too many shinobi that have cleared the second stage this year."

Shikamaru listened to the proctor with a frown. The idea didn't sit well with him. The main reason being one bad matchup here could mean a six-month setback. While they weren't in a hurry per say, Shikamaru could feel his otouto was nearing the limit amount of hatred and spite he could bear. Once that limit was reached, Naruto would leave Konoha and everything that came with it – everything including a very pissed off Kyubi. He could see Plan K becoming a very bad idea.

He could only hope it wouldn't come to this

"Uchiha Sasuke, Tsuchi Kin, please enter the arena."

That match up was one-sided. There was no way for Uchiha to lose this fight. Looking back, either Choji or Ino would have been enough to subdue that Oto kunoichi. Shikamaru watched with his mind focused on his little brother.

Shikamaru barely registered Uchiha's twisting lunge, but Kin's worry made him pay more attention. His teammates were discussing her strategy, wondering what he had prepared, so he took a glance at the arena and saw the bells attached the senbon she had thrown.

"She's a genjutsu type, he concluded out loud." Choji and Ino waited for him to elaborate. "There are bells attached to the senbon."

Ino was quick to catch up. "That means Sasuke-kun probably cut some wires. She probably used them to control the bells."

Choji finished her thought. "And knowing her two teammates, those probably aren't normal bells."

Shikamaru had to admit that this setup would be enough to catch most shinobi unaware. Too bad for the Oto kunoichi – Uchiha Sasuke was far from the average ninja. On top of that, he wasn't the type to gloat while you set up your strategy. He beat you first – then he gloated. He was one of few shinobi to actually get the order right.

Within moments Uchiha closed the distance and engaged in close-range taijutsu, Kin's apparent weakness. A few exhanges and, a punch through her guard, a strong kick to her head and Sasuke won the match.

"Winner, Sasuke."

"You think pitting Haruno against Uchiha would have been too obvious?"

Shikamaru noticed Naruto's annoyance, but only answered with a bland stare.

The blond huffed. "They set him up with one of the weakest ninja here, it's like they made sure he made it to the finals."

"You're reading too much into it."

"I'm—" Shikamaru saw him twitch and barely managed to contain his amusement. "You're trying to get a rise out of me."

"Is it working?"

Next to him, the rest of Team Ten were snickering while Naruto muttered and cursed. At that time, the panel lit up and everybody watched hoping their match wouldn't be as one-sided. Finally, the names Temari and Misumi showed up. Neither names were familiar, but there was only one kunoichi who had remained nameless up until now.

"Let's hope she's just as strong as her brother."

Shikamaru gave Naruto a deadpan stare. "Let's hope not."

This next match was as uneven as the first one, and ended being shorter.

When the proctor called for the match to begin, Temari had already judged her opponent. "You look like a freak," she said as she took her weapon out. "I'm not gonna let you anywhere near me."

And that's exactly what she did. As Misumi rushed her, she opened her staff – which was in fact a large metal fan and blew him skyward, before unceremoniously letting him drop.

From where he was, Shikamaru heard the sound of broken bones. This shinobi wouldn't be in any condition to fight anytime soon — if he even was alive. Gekko called the fight and medic nin carried the unfortunate shinobi in a stretcher.

"Great. One of them controls sand and the other one wind. I'm guessing the third sibling is equally troublesome." The lack of response made Shikamaru pause and turn. The look he saw on Naruto made him cringe.

It seemed his dear brother had come up with one of his _ideas_ again. The kind that turned into Biju getting out of their hosts and people falling victim to mysterious pranks. "Naruto...?" he asked warily.

"She's a wind jutsu user."

Shikamaru blinked, looked at the retreating kunoichi, glanced at Naruto and blinked again. "You know Asuma-sensei is _also_ a wind jutsu user, right?"

Naruto shrugged as the lights went on again

"Aburame Shino vs Akimichi Choji"

Shikamaru exchanged looks with Naruto and the rest of Team Ten. This match could end up either way. He didn't have the opportunity to observe the Aburame clan in action or spar against one of its members, but he knew two things. One, that the clan was renowned for their chakra draining insects. Two, from what he knew of their academy days, Aburame Shino was a shrewd one.

"Choji, Shino is like me. If you don't go in there with a backup plan you will lose."

Choji chuckled nervously. "You realize that if he's like you, I might just as well forfeit."

Shikamaru gave his teammate a playful shove. "Come on, big bones, if you win I'll treat you to Yakiniku-Q.

That was exactly the right thing to say. Choji's eyes burn with hunger. "Yosh! That BBQ is mine!"

This was the first match that truly interested Shikamaru, so he put his worries on the side and focused on what would be a close fight.

"Begin!"

Both shinobi jumped back. Shino stood casually, replacing his shades while Choji cocked his head to the side. Unfortunately, his best friend was never that patient and attacked first with only taijutsu. It was clear that it wasn't the Aburame's forte, because the boy was only able to dodge Choji's mix of punches and open palm strikes, and Shino's own punches and kicks only managed to slow his opponent down.

Ino huffed. "What's Choji doing? At this rate Shino is going to use his insects and he'll lose."

Shikamaru sighed. "That's the plan."

"That's a stupid plan."

He had to admit he agreed. Well it wasn't a bad plan for Choji. His friend definitely had the stamina to outlast Shino even with a couple of bugs. And knowing Choji, he knew the Akimichi was trying to get a feel for the bugs themselves. Could he feel them draining his chakra? Could he get rid of them? All invaluable info – none of it worth getting hit in the first place. In that regard, Choji was too much like Naruto. He only hoped this wouldn't cost him the match.

Choji must have thought he had gathered all the information he needed, because he finally made use of jutsu. Shino, who tried to deflect a normal fist to the face, was caught unaware when that same first suddenly grew five times its size and hit him like a solid wall.

The young boy rolled near the wall of the arena, kicking up dust as he went. He didn't seem to be moving, so Choji came closer. Seeing Shino struggle to get up, Choji enlarged both his arms and captured his opponent with his hands.

"You should give up."

"I don't think so, because I've yet to be captured."

Choji and rest of the spectators turned to where the real Shino was breathing heavily. Choji immediately understood how much trouble he was in, but the clone he captured had already dissolved into bugs before he could let go or throw it away.

"You should give up, because with the amount of bugs currently on you, you have about twenty seconds before you lose all your chakra."

Choji grit his teeth, before he took out a soldier pill. "Let's see if I can knock you out before then." In the next moment he had enlarged himself and was spinning madly in place before bursting into movement in Shino's direction. The insect user tried to stop his opponent with more of his draining bugs, but the swarms going after Choji were repelled by the rolling meat tank. He missed his mark two times before he grazed his target, and that was enough to disable Shino's arm. At the rate this was going, Choji would have the time to win this match before his chakra ran out.

Shino's exploding tag took even Shikamaru by surprise. One moment, Shino had a human boulder in front and the arena wall in the back, with no way to escape. In the next instant, the meat tank vaulted over him and slammed into the wall. It was a testament to Choji's powerful jutsu that he bounced harmlessly from the impact, and left behind a cracked wall.

For a second, Shikamaru thought the match would continue, but Choji wasn't moving. Something was wrong.

"Call the match!"

He was pretty sure he had shouted, because he could see Ino, Naruto, and even Asuma-sensei look at him, and then at Choji with worry. Neither the proctor nor Shino seemed to have heard, so he rushed around the stands, using his chakra to move faster.

His worry turned to horror when more of Shino's insects flew towards his friend; enough that he couldn't even see Choji anymore. Thankfully, he was close. Shikamaru jumped over the guardrail and used the arena wall to launch himself towards Choji. He landed in front of Shino. Walking towards his best friend, he only spared a few words for the Aburame.

"Remove your bugs or I'll remove them."

Shino jumped, clearly surprised. He opened his mouth but his answer was drowned by the sound of several Jonin appearing on the scene. Kurenai stood in front of Shino, with Kakashi and Gai not far. Asuma-sensei stood between him and the other Jonin, but his eyes were on Choji, as they should be. Shikamaru, however, was rapidly losing his composure.

The proctor himself finally made his move. "Akimichi Choji his hereby disqualified, and if you—"

Choji was _hurt_ , and they thought he still cared about these exams? Well, he had to look on the bright side; with Choji disqualified, Shino had no reason to keep his insects on him. Either way, he moved towards his friend with the intent of removing those bugs himself if he had to, and lo and behold, he insects flew away on their own to find their host. Shikamaru delicately kneeled near his friend.

"Choji, can you hear me?"

The groan he heard was so unlike Choji that it sent shivers down his spine. Asuma-sensei kneeled next to them, looking at him expectantly.

No pressure.

Shikamaru frowned, but inside he was starting to panic. No one had called the medics yet, and by the time they arrived Choji could— _No!_ _Focus!_ The facts were that Choji was fighting Shino, and due to his insects, he resorted to use a soldier pill. Now Choji couldn't move from his enlarging Jutsu. The common denominator was... chakra, obviously!

That little conclusion took the time for him to blink – panic attack included.

"Choji, can you cancel your Jutsu?"

Moments later, Choji's head popped from his ball form. He could only discern two things from his friend, terror and confusion. The boy tried opening his mouth, but only whines came out. The one thing Choji could do consciously was to stare at him. The message was quite clear – his friends counted on his help.

First things first, Shikamaru needed to cancel Choji's enlargement jutsu. That technique consumed large amounts of chakra, something Choji surely didn't have at the moment. His only option at that point was to knock out Choji, which would undo the jutsu immediately. Of course, assessing Choji while unconscious was a bad idea medically speaking, since some vital symptoms might be hidden. Shikamaru's inability to use Yang type chakra meant he couldn't put Choji to sleep like a normal medic nin would. He would have to improvise. He apologized to his friend before materializing one his shadow senbon and piercing Choji's head with it. Two things happened. Choji returned to his original shape and he found himself at the mercy of three lethal Jonin and a coughing proctor.

"Nara Shikamaru, you are hereby disqualified. You are under arrest and will wait—"

"Choji is alive." The odd looks he received annoyed him to no end. "I knocked Choji out, that cancelled his jutsu. That means he's spending less chakra and the medics have more time to save him."

Seeing their hesitation. He kneeled next to his friend and put two of his fingers around his temples. Something like black lightning coursed through Choji's head and suddenly his eyes snapped open.

"Sorry for the wake up Choji. Do you feel any pain besides your headache?" Choji wheezed, worrying Shikamaru further. Nothing had changed. At least now he could actually diagnose his friend. He checked for a pulse and his eyes widened – Choji's heart rate was way too high. Wasn't he suffering from chakra exhaustion? What other problem could he be suffering from?

"Over here!"

The medics. This could be bad. He moved to let the professionals work, but was far from impressed when one of the medic nin pronounced that Choji suffered from chakra exhaustion. They put him on their stretcher in order to take him to the hospital. By that time, Choji could very well die.

Shikamaru moved in front of the medics before they could leave.

"What now? Move boy, I know you're worried about your friend, but he needs—"

"Check his pulse." One of the medics looked at him in confusion, while the other snorted in disdain. Naruto arrived moments later and stood by Shikamaru's side.

"Look," said the condescending medic, "I know you're worried about—"

That was as far as he got before Naruto shut him up with a well place glare. Meanwhile, Shikamaru calmly explained the situation.

"Choji, the heir of the Akimichi clan is dying." That got the attention of everyone within hearing distance. "If he dies, you will have to deal will the displeasure of the Akimichi, Nara, and Yamanaka clans. I'll make sure of that." The two medics paused. "You can prevent that, by _checking his pulse_."

The one medic with a brain moved immediately to put his hand above Choji's heart. A split second later he turned pasty white. "T-Tamaru-san, his heart just stopped."

The Jonin and medic nin looked at the browned-haired Akimichi, and then at Shikamaru, who was starring at them impassively, before the medics finally started acting like the medics they were.

"His chakra system is over stimulated. We'll need the chakra inhibitors." The disdainful medic glanced at Shikamaru, before he returned to the patient. "We need back up! Moving to the basement, we need—"

Shikamaru let out a deep breath. He was glad one of the medics diagnosed Choji properly, but if they thought he was going to let his best friend in their tender mercies after nearly killing him, they had another thing coming. He followed them until his path was blocked by the sick proctor.

"Nara Shikamaru, please remain in the arena for the next match."

"You're mistaken. I was disqualified. I'll be going after my friend now" He didn't look at anyone; he simply sidestepped the proctor and followed his friend. The perfectly casual way he answered made all the Jonin with the exception of Kakashi flinch.

Shikamaru felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Hayate cough. "I'm pretty sure that never happened, Nara-kun. Uzumaki Naruto, please vacate the arena."

Shikamaru stared at the young man until the proctor coughed, removed his hand, and averted his gaze. Otouto gave him a pat on the shoulder and went after Choji. Such a dutiful otouto. He looked at the announcement board and groaned out loud.

Hyuga Neji.

Of the 19 other shinobi currently in the preliminaries, both Hyuga were in the top five people he didn't want to fight. This fight in particular could only be topped by fighting Naruto himself. What a troublesome dilemma – he needed to become a Chunin soon, but doing so by defeating Hyuga Neji would end up being way too troublesome.

"Oi, don't you dare quit Shikamaru!" The young Nara slowly turned right to face his 'dutiful' otouto. "Come on, don't give that look. They kicked me out!" The blond whined. Shikamaru's eyes moved towards the same door Choji had gone through only moments ago.

After another moment of hesitation, Shikamaru let out a drawn out sigh and waited for the match to start. It was just one of these days. To add to his pain, his opponent arrived and was already looking at him in disdain.

"If you're worried about your friend, you can forfeit this match. You can also choose to fight and end next to him. Either way your fate was decided the moment I was chosen as your opponent."

Not even one minute with the guy and Shikamaru was already annoyed. Seriously, the Hyuga shouldn't be known for their Byakugan or their Gentle Fist style, but their unsurpassed arrogance and their ability to annoy people within ten seconds of meeting them. He sighed again. What he really wanted was to give up and go find Choji, but since Naruto was here he had no choice but to fight.

What kind of Aniki would embarrass himself in front of his otouto? Besides, he had a hunch that by the time this mess of a Chunin exam was over, Konoha would screw Naruto over again.

Shikamaru put his hands in his pockets, but his eyes were sharp. "I'm in a bit of a hurry, so this will have to be short."

The Hyuga took his fighting stance with an arrogant smirk. "Don't worry; this won't take long."

"Begin!"

Shikamaru took out senbon from his pockets and started to pepper the Hyuga so fast Neji's first move was to roll to his left before activating his famous dojutsu. He sent a second volley of senbon, and this time Neji caught every single one of them barehanded.

Shikamaru quirked an eyebrow, somewhat impressed. "I didn't think you'd be using the Byakugan against an opponent like me." Shikamaru frowned. "I can't say I'm flattered either – you're being troublesome."

Neji's smirk showed his arrogance. "You are a Nara. You rely on your Kage Mane jutsu almost exclusively. This leads you to have poor taijutsu and genjutsu. I don't have to use my Byakugan to keep an eye on your shadow."

That was an astute analysis of the Nara clan. If that was all however, his father wouldn't be the Jonin commander. Furthermore, he wasn't your typical Nara.

"But it doesn't matter how weak you are, I will show you no mercy."

Well, as troublesome as fighting a serious Hyuga super rookie sounded, it would give him the opportunity to test a couple of his concepts. He took out grenade with the kanji for "light" on it. "Very well, but I know your weakness as well. You're a Hyuga – you rely on your eyes too much." Putting some sunglasses on, he threw the grenade.

Neji snorted and rushed in. "If you think a mere flash is going to stop the Byak—"

The rest of his retort was drowned by the sound of an explosion. Shikamaru sighed as he threw senbon at the thick black smoke in front of him. He had wanted this match to be short, but he expected at least a bit of challenged. Then again, if he actually had to put an effort, he wasn't fighting dirty enough.

The smoke cleared and Neji appeared on his knees, and with his arms hung limply at each side. He looked unharmed, though his clothes told another story. Taking advantage of the situation, Shikamaru threw more of his senbon. Neji managed to roll out of the volley. The young Hyuga's eyes held rage.

Shikamaru laughed nervously. "Oops, I mistook my explosives for my flash grenades again. You really should have known better though. Goes to show you that even the Byakugan can't see everything." Neji sneered, and Shikamaru shrugged. "I'm in a bit of a hurry, so if you could kindly forfeit, I'll spare you some embarrassment."

Neji struggled to his feet only to fall down again. His face slowly morphed into a shocked expression. He fought against the sudden wave of drowsiness, but the result was a barely audible accusation of "Poison?" before he collapsed – for good this time.

Shikamaru made sure his opponent was truly unconscious before he shrugged. "Well..." he paused for dramatic effect, "I guess he didn't see that one coming."

Silence followed. He thought his one-liner was witty – the gallery had no sense of humor, obviously. He looked around in confusion at the gaping faces of the viewers before his frown settled on the proctor.

"Should I kill him or something?"

Hayate blinked, before finally ending the match. "The opponent is unable to continue. Winner, Nara Shikamaru."

For some reason, Shikamaru didn't feel like rejoicing. Oh well, off to the basement. He headed for the exit door of the arena and found his sensei waiting for him there.

"That was..."

"Unexpected?"

The man shook his head. "Knowing you, I was prepared. The word I was looking for was anticlimactic."

"I'm sorry," Shikamaru answered flatly, "I thought I was supposed to fight him; not entertain you."

Asuma's smile faded. "Normally, this is the part where I'm going to check up on Choji while you stay under the threat of losing your spot in the finals." At this point, Shikamaru didn't care. He was going to see Choji – Chunin exams or not. To his credit, he did wait for his Sensei to finish his thought.

"He's still in the basement and he's not stabilized yet, but he already went through the worst part. Be sure to come back."

Shikamaru nodded. He'd make sure Choji was alright and then come back. Hopefully before Naruto's match. He was pretty sure Otouto wouldn't let him hear the end of it otherwise.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

"Uzumaki Naruto, Rock Lee. Please come forward."

Naruto vaulted over the guardrail and landed in the arena. At lot had happened after Shikamaru's match, but the important part was Aniki was back. He couldn't help but grin in anticipation. Rock Lee was the Genin who kicked Uchiha's ass before the first part of the Chunin exams. This didn't tell him much, since he could also beat Sasuke, but there wasn't many Genin on par with his teammate to begin with. He couldn't wait to show his brother how strong he had become.

In answer to his to entrance, Lee also jumped in the ring, only _he_ made a crack on the floor. Naruto's face twitched in annoyance, but his cocky grin remained.

The two met in the middle of the arena and Naruto seized his next opponent from head to toe. The only clue he had was that the boy wore the same outfit as Maito Gai, considered by Aniki's sources as extremely dangerous in close combat.

"You're the one who sparred with my teammate before the exams. How was he?"

"Frankly, I was a bit disappointed that I was interrupted, but I was clearly the superior combatant. I hope you shall prove as youthful and strong as your teammate. As Kakashi's student, it is only fated that we should meet like this; I only regret that it will not be during the finals."

Naruto frowned in confusion. "Youthful what? And you know Kakashi how?"

"Yosh! Your Sensei Hatake Kakashi and my own Gai-Sensei are Eternal Rivals."

"Uh-huh." Naruto practically heard the capitals in that title. He turned towards Kakashi with a skeptic glance, but the Jonin was looking away, probably in shame. He shook his head – all shinobi were crazy one way or another anyway. "Whatever. I'm still gonna kick your ass, so bring it."

Rock Lee's eyes burned with intensity. "You may try, but I will warn you; I am strong."

Naruto smiled at that and waited for the signal impatiently.

"Begin!"

Naruto jumped back, only to roll to the side to dodge the flying kick aimed at his head. Switching gears, he approached with a chopping right. At the last second, Lee's hand twisted and poked his fist rather hard. Unbelievably, that was enough to make him lose balance. Naruto rapidly brought his right foot down; giving him the support he needed to make small summersault right above Rock Lee's outstretched foot.

Landing on his two feet, Naruto jumped again. He twisted to deliver a spinning heel kick, but his opponent's block was solid. Lee even managed to counter with a fast front kick to the stomach. Naruto raised his arm in time to defend a fraction too late. The force of the blow, combined with the fact that Naruto was still in midair, hit its mark and sent him rolling a few meters away. He got up just in time to see the axe kick coming and jumped back. Lee's kick left a small indent on the arena floor.

"Fucking hell! You hit like a fucking horse!" Lee had hit him exactly once so far, and he hurt in _three_ separate places. Naruto was proud of his Taijutsu, but this guy clearly outclassed him in that branch. And his speed! Lee didn't give him time to gather the chakra needed for his ninjutsu. Hell, he never even got the chance to get started on his rotations.

Naruto smiled. Now he actually felt like this was a proper exam. "Ok, get ready, because round two is going to be a fucking blast." Naruto primed his barrier seal card before he even got up. A good thing too, since the Lee crashed into it with a fist not a moment after in activated. The barrier held, giving Naruto more than enough time to channel the chakra he needed to use his ninjutsu mode.

Naruto made a hand seal and the barrier dropped. Rock Lee moved again, this time with a flying kick. Naruto moved his hand in front of him.

"Sora no Tetsu [Iron Sky]."

The invisible shield made of concentrated air stopped Lee's attack. Naruto took advantage of the moment of impact to launch his counterattack.

"Zankudan!"

The air bullet coming out of his roundhouse whiffed, but the wind's pressure staggered Lee for a split second. Meanwhile, Naruto was still spinning and gaining momentum. His next leg sweep, left hook and spinning jump kick all missed, but each of Naruto's attacks were faster and created more powerful air currents. Rock Lee could only dodge and his own attacks were buffeted by the wind. Finally, Naruto's next Zankudan came too fast for Lee to dodge. The kick blew right through his guard and the wind bullet sent him crashing into the arena wall.

Naruto saw Lee fall to one knee, but he kept his focus. If the taijutsu monster had a secret technique, now would be the perfect time to show it.

"Lee! Take them off!"

"Yes, Gai-Sensei!"

Naruto wasn't surprised by the training weights, but what those meant for the Genin's speed made him uneasy. The feeling of dread increased tenfold when the weights hit the ground – or rather, crashed and kicked an ominous amount of dust.

This was going to suck.

He primed his barrier seal again getting a feeling he'd need it. His worry proved right. He blocked the roundhouse aimed his neck before he even registered what was actually happening. Rock Lee disappeared before Naruto could even drop his guard and moved to his right to deliver a leg sweep that Naruto had no chance to dodge.

The blond rolled back up, careful to stay close to his seal card. It was frustrating. Naruto could tell where Lee was, even without sensing chakra, but his body couldn't keep up. After two more clean hits, Naruto felt a foot connect with his jaw and lift him from the ground with relative ease. His body impacted his barrier hard, and then he landed in a crouch. Naruto was glad the thing materialized when it did. Who knows what Lee's next move would be? He was hurting more right now than he had ever felt before and was unsteady on his feet, but that didn't stop the feral smile he decided to wear.

"You're in my world now, asshole."

Naruto's leg sweep covered the area under his barrier with dust. Naruto couldn't see in front of him, and thankfully neither could Lee. Naruto, however, had another, nearly unstoppable way of finding a target's location. Even with his eyes closed he rolled to his left, ducking under whatever attack Lee had aimed at his head. Naruto spun before jumping, made two full turns before delivering a devastating spinning kick.

"Senpu kiaku [whirlwind kick]!"

The winds around him were strong enough to create a dust storm. Rock Lee, taken completely off guard, was slammed into the barrier that disappeared a moment later. With the barrier gone, the dust expanded, and made it possible for Naruto to open his eyes without risk. He saw Rock Lee picking himself up and rushed before older Genin fully recovered. He spun under Lee's kick and countered with a liver punch, and a right straight to the heart, completely sealing Rock Lee's movements.

"Here's my parting gift for a match well fought."

Naruto spun twice and delivered a jumping uppercut that connected with Lee's jaw.

"Haou Tenryuken [Supreme Sky Dragon Fist]!"

The dust storm that had started to calm down seemingly gathered under Naruto's fist and propelled Lee to the ceiling of the arena, higher than Temari had done for her earlier opponent. Naruto, facing a fellow shinobi from the leaf, caught the unconscious Lee before he hit the ground.

He turned to the proctor with a cocky smile. "Hey, are you calling this match or what?"

The proctor coughed before ending the bout. "Winner: Uzumaki Naruto."

Naruto gently dropped Rock Lee so the medics could take care of him. He then ran up the arena wall, vaulted over the guardrail and landed right in front of Aniki. Naruto looked at him with a face full of childish hope.

Shikamaru smiled. "You were great, Otouto; that was amazing"

Naruto's smile shone like the sun.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **A/N: Hi all. I hope you all had a nice summer. Here's the next chapter of the Yin Yang twins. Below will find the next OMAKE, curtesy of**  
 **TigrezzTail. Again feel free to ask or comment with a review, and your answer might be in the form of an OMAKE. As for the my other Naruto fanfic, I'm still drawing a blank unfortunately. As soon as I figure out how to end the arc you will see an update. In the meanwhile, dont' forget to review and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Updates should be more regular, but I make no promisies. Without further ado here's the next OMAKE  
**

 **PS: Thank you all! This story has currently 50 reviews, 200 favorites, and 300 follows. You don't know how encouraging that is to me. ONce again, thank you!**

 **.*.*.**

Naruto was afraid.

He'd been afraid for three days now. For three days he barely left his house, and only to get food. Even then, he used his best sneaking skills, the ones that had ANBU pulling their hair out and that made him want to pull his hair out because, how the flying fuck did that asshole Iruka-sensei find him _every single fucking time_?

But no, the one he was afraid of was even scarier than Iruka. He didn't want to admit it, but he had grown to rely on Nara Shikamaru. It didn't make any sense because he hadn't been the only one to be nice to him.

Still, he would never meet the other boy again if he could help it. Shikamaru had the uncanny ability to _know_ things and Naruto didn't want him to know. The blond was afraid the only boy who genuinely cared about him would hate him, or treat him like the others kids from the academy did, or worse. Maybe Naruto would turn into that _thing_ and kill the only friend he ever had – anything but that! Thankfully he could go to Jiji, have him change class at the shinobi academy and—

"You know, finding your house was troublesome."

Naruto fell off his bed. He stared in horror at his friend that had managed to find his address, and sneak in passed his traps. Why the fuck was Shikamaru here!? He didn't even get half of what the boy was saying. The only thought Naruto had at the moment was that if Shikamaru stayed here he would _know_.

"Get the fuck out of my house!"

Shikamaru blinked, and Naruto saw hurt in his eyes. He wanted to hurt himself, he wanted to apologize but he couldn't.

Shikamaru's turned defiant. "No."

"No? This is my house!"

"You've skipped the academy for three days now. Even Iruka-sensei is worried about you."

Naruto had hurt him, and he was worried for him. This was torture. If this went on he was only going to hurt them both. Maybe if he told him about his real identity... maybe that would scare him away.

Naruto closed his his and grit his teeth. "I'm the Kyubi no Kitsune."

Shikamaru said nothing for a bit. "You're an idiot."

Naruto's head snapped up, full of anger. "What? I'm the idiot? I just fucking told you I'm a demon in human form. I'm a monster, so you should just—"

His rant was cut short by a hard slap to the face. He turned to hit the asshole back, but remained frozen in place. Shikamaru's stare was dull, but his eyes held so much fury that Naruto didn't dare make a move. Naruto had pranked Shikamaru a few times and had done a few stupid things, but this was the first time he ever angered Shikamaru and vowed this would be the absolute last.

"I never want you calling yourself a monster or a demon again. Do you hear me?"

Naruto was tired of this. Couldn't he just leave him alone? "I met the Kyubi. It's inside me. I talked to it. I'm not making this stuff up!"

Shikamaru's only response was to take out a kunai. He looked at it in distaste. "I knew it would come to this, but I never figured it would be so soon. What a pain."

Naruto breath itched. Before he could struggle or even accept what was happening to him, Shikamaru had cut both their right hands with the same swipe of the blade and had clasped Naruto wounded hand with his.

Naruto didn't know what was happening but it was scaring him. He tried to remove his hand but Shikamaru wouldn't let him.

"Our blood has mingled. Do you know what that means?" Naruto shook his head, confused. Wasn't Shikamaru trying to kill him? "That means we're blood brothers now. We're family. You're stuck with me until I die. We're the same. That means if you're a demon, I am one too; if you're a monster, I am one too. We are the same. And as far as I'm concerned I'm no less human than you are.

Naruto was shaking his head. His lips were trembling. He didn't want this. But he also wanted this _so much_ , for so long. Shikamaru acknowledged him. Shikamaru _had made himself his brother_. Too much… he couldn't… he had a family!? Naruto tried to say something, but in the end he burst into sobs.

Shikamaru, whose tears flowed silently, hugged him.

It took a while, but the sobs eventually quieted down.

When they finally managed to disentangle, Naruto saw his new brother take out a pen and a notebook and strike something out.

"That could have gone better, but Plan O was a success."

Naruto blinked. "Plan O?"

Shikamaru nodded with a grin. "Yep. I didn't think it would be so soon, but it will help with the other plans."

"What other plans do you have?"

Shikamaru smiled and showed him the cover of his notebook. On it 'Plans to Ensure Uzumaki Naruto Lives a Happy Life' could be read in kanji.

Naruto smiled.

Shikamaru keeping the same happy smile said, "So, Otouto, tell me again how you met the Kyubi and told no one about it."

Shit.

"Did it try to trick you or something? Were you in _danger_?"

Naruto laughed nervously. Dead. He was fucking _dead_. He had just found a brother, and that brother was about to kill him. He turned and ran for the exit, but tripped on invisible wire and was now suspended in midair.

Shikamaru only looked curious. "Where are you going Otouto; you haven't answered my questions yet."

Naruto's fear of Shikamaru increased to new heights that night.


	12. Visits and Meetings

**The Yin Yang Twins**

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Disclaimer: Naruto and its universe \ canon are property of Kishimoto... And whoever owns Kishimoto I guess.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **12\. The Chunin Exams: Visits and Meetings  
**

 ** _In which Naruto becomes the focus of more unwanted attention  
_**

The Chunin exam proctor coughed as he faced the winners.

"Now that you all know your opponents for the final part of the Chunin exams, you may leave the tower. You will have one month to prepare for the finals. You will be noticed of the location a week in advance. Please come on time. The people watching these fights are people you definitely do not want to keep waiting…"

Naruto ignored the proctor until he saw people starting to leave. He was looking forward to a quiet evening after his intense fight with Rock Lee, but that would have to wait. He had invited Uchiha to his Chunin finals celebration instead. His team had been more than decent during the exams – even Pinky. He still wanted nothing to do with his female teammate, but …Sasuke was alright. Personally, Naruto thought the guy needed to find himself a girlfriend or a shrink, but friends couldn't hurt.

Plus, he wanted to annoy Aniki.

Naruto met Sasuke at Ichiraku's that evening. Shikamaru arrived a half-hour late.

"Sorry I'm late. I had to visit my teammates at the hospital. …Uchiha," he greeted after a pause. He looked at Naruto, before speaking to Sasuke again. "Whatever you do, don't split the bill with him. He can easily eat between five and ten bowls when he's hungry."

Naruto cursed under his breath. "Why the hell did I invite him for then?"

His teammate snorted. "To ask me out," he answered smugly. "Honestly Naruto, it's normal to fancy me; even I fancy myself."

"Ha, ha, laugh it up you assholes. You guys are nothing but haters."

They ate their bowl of ramen – three in Naruto's case – while he and Shikamaru talked. Sasuke added a snarky comment here and there. All in all it wasn't so bad. After a while, Sasuke put his game face on and turned to Naruto.

"Why am I here?"

The blond slurped the last of his broth before asking Ayame for a chicken flavored bowl. He then faced Sasuke. "You need an update on what really happened during the exams."

He told him about Yakushi Kabuto, Orochimaru, and Oto. He could tell Sasuke was glad to be kept in the loop. Unfortunately, Naruto and his brother had no idea what all these incidents meant in the long run.

"Only one thing's sure," Shikamaru concluded, "something is going to happen during the finals."

After a moment of silence, Sasuke spoke up. "Naruto told me you helped him become stronger.

Naruto felt Shikamaru's stare, and decided to focus on his bowl of ramen. "Yes, I did," Aniki answered.

Sasuke frowned. "What if I asked for... advice?" Naruto could clearly see his teammate's struggle to even ask this.

"I would ask whether it's about becoming stronger or about the Uchiha incident."

For the first time since he met him, Naruto felt murderous intent coming from Sasuke.

"You better shut up about things you know nothing about."

Shikamaru's smile held a secret Naruto couldn't decipher. "You know, life-changing events like that make me curious – especially when they're not consistent. They make me ask all kinds of question.

"Questions like: Why did a good and extremely loyal shinobi like Uchiha Itachi turn rogue? Why did he only spare his little brother and no other children? Why were _all_ of the Uchiha in their estate that night? Why were the ANBU nowhere near the estate? Isn't it fascinating?"

Sasuke went through many facial expressions and Naruto wondered if the boy hadn't heard too much, too fast. He hoped nothing bad would come of the information overload.

"How do you know there was no ANBU that night?" Uchiha finally asked.

Shikamaru gaze became unusually sharp. "I think the real question here is, 'how do you _not_ know there was no ANBU that night?' You're a clan heir now; this is something you should have wanted to know."

Naruto agreed. Maybe it was because it didn't happen to him, but if his whole family had been killed off, he'd want to know how, and more importantly why so he'd have a better grasp on who he was going to kill and how painful it needed to be.

"I... suspected there was something off," Uchiha admitted. "It didn't matter to me since it didn't change my ambition."

Naruto frowned. "To avenge and rebuild your clan, right?"

Sasuke looked at him like he had suddenly burst out of thin air and Naruto rolled his eyes. "Why are you telling me this?" the Uchiha wondered.

"Because I _am_ curious – and because you're a bit like Naruto."

Said blond looked at Sasuke with the same skepticism he could see in his teammate's eye.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

The next morning, Naruto had the displeasure of accompanying his team to visit Pinky. He had told Kakashi he was busy and would visit his teammate later, but the perceptive bastard nearly dragged him out of his apartment. Better yet, Uchiha was there to witness the display and mock him all the way to the hospital.

The three males entered her room to find their teammate awake.

Hatake was the first one to speak. "Hello Sakura. Finally better, I see. How are you?"

She smiled weakly at them. "I could be better. They told me I should be able to leave in a few days with no lasting damage."

"Good. You did Team Seven proud. The fact you all got so far within six months surpassed my expectations."

"Thank you Sensei." The silence was awkward. "So, I suppose Naruto won his match as well?"

As if there was any doubt! "Of course I did. Who the hell do you think I am?"

Pinky cocked her head to the side. "Who did you fight?"

Naruto eyed his other teammates. He had expected the question, but hadn't found an answer that would comfort Pinky. In the end, he decided to be blunt. It's not like he cared if he hurt her feelings anyway.

"Rock Lee."

She gave Uchiha an incredulous stare. He didn't look as jealous as Naruto expected. In fact, Naruto thought Sasuke looked more excited than angry. His fight probably gave the Uchiha more motivation to become stronger than any other negative feelings.

"That match was inspiring on many levels. I can't wait to assimilate what I've seen."

Right. Asspull doujutsu. He wasn't even mad – the asshole had probably Rock Lee's speed and technique in mind.

"Congratulations Sasuke-kun, Naruto. You'll definitely make it to Chunin." Naruto could practically see the clouds of depression over Pinky's head. It was pissing him to no end.

"Do something about it!" Naruto snapped, startling his whole team. "If you're angry, or sad, or jealous, that Uchiha and I trained our asses off and finally got rewarded for it, do something about it! Fuck, why do you think I got so far? Because I'm awesome? Well I do look fucking fabulous in shinobi clothes…" he started to preen, only to be interrupted by Uchiha.

"Please, you have absolutely no fashion sense. The only thing you have is strength."

Naruto slowly turned towards his teammate. "Did you just _diss my clothes_ , Uchiha?"

"Well, I think that's all the time we had to visit," Kakashi interrupted. The Jonin pushed him out the door and out of the hospital, but Naruto kept his eyes on the asshole. He dearly wanted to tell the Uchiha what he thought about the boy's fashion sense, but once again, the man intervened.

"So, do you boys have something in mind for the finals?"

"Yes," Naruto replied drily. He heard Kakashi sigh.

"Somehow I should have known. Right then, since you have a plan, I'm taking Sasuke with me for the next month.

"Ok. When?"

"Tomorrow, I think?"

Naruto found he didn't care about Kakashi's announcement, so he shrugged. He had his own training and his own plans – plans he had only shared with Aniki so far. This only meant he had more time to for his own training and none of that fucking waste of time they called 'team-building exercises' to deal with.

"Actually, Naruto I—"

Naruto waved him off. "Don't bother, I don't need help, I'm fine on my own."

"Naruto—"

"Piss off, Kakashi!" he warned.

Kakashi frowned. "Naruto, need I remind you _whom_ exactly you're talking to?"

Naruto clenched and unclenched his fists. "'Those who abandon their mission are trash, but those who abandon their friends are lower than trash.' Those are your fucking words, yeah?" He turned around to face Kakashi, who was looking at him wide-eyed. "If you're going to spout bullshit like that, you better walk the walk, _sensei_."

Said Sensei scratched his chin nervously. "This wouldn't have anything to do with what happened during Akimichi Choji and Aburame Shino's fight would it?"

"What do you think!?" He snapped. "In case you didn't notice, Choji and Shikamaru are my friends." Kakashi had been on the wrong side of that standoff – he should have been near Shikamaru's sensei. Choji would have died if not for Aniki.

Naruto kept his glare until his sensei sighed. "I suppose I could visit Choji before my trip." Naruto kept glaring. "And apologize to Shikamaru."

Naruto snorted before he left. The least the Jonin could do was admit he fucked up. And with any luck Kakashi would forget he wanted to load him with some bullshit training he didn't need.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Later that day, he met with Aniki, and they went to visit Choji. Shikamaru's best friend was nearly recovered and would be released the next day. They joked about the exams for about an hour before they left to visit one more patient.

Naruto's apprehension rose as they headed towards the elevators. "Do I really have too?" he asked one last time.

Shikamaru quirked an eyebrow. "You brought her flowers."

He snorted, "Because she nagged _you_ about it."

"She wanted you to bring them. In this rare case, it's every man for himself."

"…Fuck you, Aniki."

Aniki grunted. "I dare you to look at me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't have done the same damn thing if you could."

Naruto looked him straight in the eye and said, "I would've done the same fucking thing if I could." He chuckled when he heard Shikamaru sigh.

In the floor below Choji's, were Haruno's, and unfortunately, Ino's rooms. They made sure to sneak past Haruno's room without being seen and paused in front of his destination. Shikamaru ignored his pleading and added to his torment by waiting for him to open the door to Ino's room.

Naruto gulped and squared his shoulders. "Right, let's just get this over with."

Ino beamed when she saw them. "Naru-chan! You came to visit me!"

He didn't know if he cringed because of the nickname or because of Ino's genuine happiness, but he did hear Shikamaru cough and knew the asshole was laughing at him. He made a visible effort to not throttle both members of Team Ten, and greeted Ino instead. "Hey Ino. How are you?"

She sighed dramatically. "I woke up with a migraine. And then I was told I lost against that Yoroi guy." She let out an annoyed groan. "I can't believe this! I was almost there!"

Naruto saw Shikamaru's encouraging motion. He glared, but sat besides Ino and patted her hands. "You did great Ino. I was surprised by how strong you became since the academy."

Ino smiled at him. She glared at Shikamaru. "What about you, my teammate? Anything you want to add?"

"We've been through this – I was in the exact same spot Naruto was yesterday." Naruto froze and tried to move away when he heard that, but once again, Ino's chakra glue prevailed. "By the way, Choji is fine now; he'll be leaving tomorrow as well."

The young girl's smile brightened. "I'm happy he's okay. He nearly gave me a heart attack."

Naruto pulled as hard as he could, but failed to detach his hand from Ino's. Meanwhile, he heard Shikamaru sigh and say, "You and me both. But, since you're both leaving tomorrow, how about we head to the usual place with Asuma-sensei?"

Ino nodded with a smile. "Sounds great. Can Naru-chan come too?"

Naruto balked while he struggled. "Ah, well, this sounds like a Team Ten thing. I don't want to intrude."

Ino waved him off. "Nonsense! Asuma-sensei sometimes comes with Kurenai-san from Team Eight, so it's no problem.

An excuse to spend time with Aniki? Hell yeah!

"She wants to use you as an escort."

Naruto stiffened. "... _Excuse me_?" He glared at the kunoichi.

Ino's glared at Shikamaru, who pointed at Naruto and said, "Just tell him what you wanted to do, Ino."

Ino opened and closed her mouth. "Remind me to never plan anything against you." She then turned to him in order to explain. "See, I think Asuma-sensei and Kurenai-san are dating, but they're denying it. I want to call him out on his bullshit,"

Naruto's frowned. "You want a pretend boyfriend to trick your Sensei into admitting he has a girlfriend?" He mulled over it for all of two seconds. "I'm in – sounds fun."

Ino looked vicious. "Asuma-sensei won't know what hit him. No one runs away from Ino's rumor mill."

Seeing Ino this happy, he nearly forgot what he wanted to ask her. Maybe it would drudge up bad memories, but he was curious as to how Ino had lost. Even Shikamaru couldn't understand how it happened – granted, Aniki hadn't been there, but his Jonin-sensei had given him the byplay. He opened his mouth and shut it when he saw his brother's warning glare. He tried sensing the area around him and quickly understood.

He turned to Ino and asked another important question instead. "Hey Ino, do you have any tips about Hinata?"

Ino shuddered. "For all our sake, marry her Naru-chan."

Naruto grew a tick mark. Shikamaru had told him the same thing many times. He'd like to see them do the same thing; Who the fuck married their stalker!? T"Yeah, I think it's time for me to go train."

Ino look upset. "What? No! Stay a bit more! It's boring and stuffy in here."

"You don't need to tell me that," Naruto muttered. He hated hospitals.

They exchanged a few more pleasantries before the two boys left. As they left the floor, they bumped into a familiar face. Shikamaru looked pleasantly surprised. "Kabuto-san? You work here?"

"Surprised? I may be mediocre when it comes to combat, but my medic skills are top notch."

Shikamaru grinned. "They must be. I heard that the medics in the hospital are all Chunin and up. I'm impressed."

Kabuto fixed his glasses with pride. "Well, I may not be all that when it comes to combat, but I'm quite adept at medical ninjutsu, if I say so myself."

Naruto nodded. "Well, we'll be going now. Be sure to check on Choji and Ino if you're that good. Are you going to watch the finals?"

Kabuto grinned knowingly. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

Shikamaru and Naruto excited the hospital. Only once they were out of sight of the hospital, did Naruto let out a shudder. Shikamaru let out a breath. That guy was way too creepy.

"What are the odds of that fucker listening to both our conversations?" Naruto asked conversationally.

"Pretty high. Also take note, Otouto – Ino faced his teammate."

Something was very wrong here. The higher-ups really needed to do something about that man.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

When his mother told him he had visitors that morning, Shikamaru frowned. Half of the month had gone relatively trouble free. A visit wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but he had seen his team yesterday, so it couldn't be them. Naruto would have come alone, so he was out as well. That left girls and maybe Kiba. Of course, if Shino had any sense of self-preservation, then he wouldn't dare come here after his fight against Choji. In the end, logic told him that whoever were these visitors, they would end up being troublesome.

Sadly, he was right.

"Kakashi-san, Kurenai-san," he greeted with a hint of curiosity. "Should I expect Asuma-sensei as well?" He then blinked and glanced at the male Jonin. "Shouldn't you be training somewhere with Uchiha Sasuke?"

"Ah, well, it's more of a coincidence really," the man replied, totally ignoring his last question. "I suppose we're here about the same reason. Anyway, I would like us to talk about what happened during the preliminaries."

Shikamaru nodded politely. "Choji's fight? I don't regret what I did and will act in the same exact manner should it come to that in the future."

Kakashi sighed. "Right. You obviously did what you had to do to save your friend."

Shikamaru arched an eyebrow. "And you guys did your job as Jonin. I knew the rules when I interfered. I'm surprised none of you actually touched me."

Kakashi's eye smiled. "Asuma was on your side; besides, I trusted you." Shikamaru doubted that, but did not show his disagreement. "Which brings me to my problem – Naruto… doesn't agree with what happened."

Shikamaru smiled. "He didn't tell you? Of course he didn't tell you; Naruto is vindictive like that." He could have let the man search the answer for himself, but most of the Rookie Genin knew already, so it was only a matter of time until the higher ups learned, if they didn't know already.

He waved politely. "I'm Aniki; pleasure to finally meet you."

He saw Kakashi's surprised expression for the first time and would treasure the memory forever. The Jonin slapped his forehead, muttered a curse, and sighed. Shikamaru ignored him. The man would get over it. He turned to his other guest.

"Kurenai-san?"

Said woman was eyeing Kakashi dubiously. "What's wrong with Kakashi?"

He waved it off. "He'll be fine."

The beautiful Jonin gave him an appraising glance. "You're not angry with us?"

He looked at her with a deadpan. "I was extremely angry with you. Obviously I've cooled down since then." Who wouldn't be upset? His best friend nearly died because of those idiots blindly following protocol, not to mention the medics. In fact, he was _still_ angry; he simply chose to focus on more important matters, however his lack of emotion did nothing to soothe the Jonin.

In fact, Kurenai's expression tensed slightly. "What about Shino?"

The question brought a twitch of his lips, despite his best efforts. "I think whatever happens during the Chunin Exams should stay buried there."

Kurenai frowned. "What happened to Choji was unfortunate, but things like that happen, even between members of the Leaf."

Unfortunate? Shikamaru blinked twice, before his gaze sharpened. "Do you think I'm stupid, Kurenai-san?" She looked surprised, but he went on before she could answer. "Shino did not call off his insects when I asked him to; he still didn't when all of you Jonin interfered. He only stopped being hostile when Gekko Hayate called the match."

He and the Abarame weren't close, so he understood the boy's thoroughness. He couldn't have known how dire was Choji's situation was – at first. He might have even approved if his target wasn't another Leaf shinobi. Shino's eagerness to use excessive force against a comrade left a bitter taste in Shikamaru's mind. That even Kurenai tried to excuse Shino made him see red. And Kurenai _was_ excusing him; seeing the red-eyed woman flinch confirmed that she knew exactly what her pupil had done. The fact that she knew didn't surprise him; the fact that she thought he didn't…

"You actually _do_ think I'm stupid," he concluded aloud. Let it be known that Shikamaru hated being thought as stupid. That went double for people that should know better. He hid his anger behind a perfectly bored expression. "I think we're done here. Kakashi-san, Kurenai-san."

Of course, Kurenai being the troublesome woman she was, tried to warn him once more. "Do you really think the Aburame clan will stay silent if you retaliate during the finals?"

He shrugged. "I bet you they won't do a thing about it. Why, you ask? Because of status quo." Also known as, you really don't want to mess with the Sarutobi-Nara-Akimichi-Yamanaka alliance.

Kakashi gave Shikamaru a weary look. "You're not lazy at all."

Shikamaru snorted. "Believe me, I'm trying. But between Otouto and my old man, and my best friend nearly dying, did you really expect that would be possible?"

Kakashi's reply was a groan. "Today's kids aren't cute at all."

Once he made sure the Jonin had nothing else to add, Shikamaru excused himself and closed the door. He went to his room, picked up his shinobi gear and headed out to train – and to skip his chores. He opened the front door and his mind froze. He repressed the desire to slam the door and hide in his room. Instead, he greeted his new guests with perfect politeness.

"Hyuga-san, can I help you?"

He knew there would be repercussions from the bout with Neji, but he didn't think it would warrant a visit from the Head of the Hyuga _and_ his daughters. He could only hope they were here to meet his dad.

"We would like to meet with your father."

"Please, come inside." Shikamaru led them to the tearoom and headed to the back of the house. He warned his mom of their visit and went outside to fetch his dad, who was busy helping a deer who had trouble giving birth. He waited for him to finish before calling out to him.

"Dad, mom says you have guests."

The man looked up. "I wasn't expecting anyone. Did she say who?"

Shikamaru shrugged. He turned to leave but suddenly his father caught him in a one-armed hug. "Tell me, son of mine, you wouldn't try to ditch your old man when those troublesome Hyuga guests are here because you, would you?"

Sometimes, he hated his dad. He might be the best liar ever, but it was useless because his father had somehow found the secret of omniscience and refused to share.

Father and son reluctantly entered the tearoom and sat opposite of Hyuga clan.

"Hiashi-san."

"Shikaku-san."

The Jonin commander and head of the Nara clan sighed. "If you could spare me the political jargon and just get to the point please? I already have an idea of what led to this meeting," he said, throwing a pointed at Shikamaru who barely muffled his groan.

Seriously, how was he supposed to know that the Hyuga would fall for such a simple trick! Neji was the top of his class for crying out loud.

"As you already know of the potential message the… ease with which your son defeated my nephew would send," This time Shikamaru did groan, "We would like to prevent such an occurrence during the finals."

Shikamaru blinked in confusion. In response, his father cuffed him. "Stop playing the fool," he chided.

He sighed in frustration. "The Hyuga daughters didn't get it," he argued back, "plus I thought you said no political jargon".

"You're not taking the lazy way out." If I can't went unheard between the two of them.

Great. Now both the stalker and the miniature Hiashi were glaring at him. He rolled his eyes. "Hyuga-san is saying that he doesn't want the Hyuga to be embarrassed in the finals, since important clients will be watching and assessing Konoha's power as a whole."

He frowned in Hiashi's direction. "You do know whom I'll be facing in the finals, right?"

"That is precisely what I'm here."

His father gave him a look. Only Shikamaru could see the amusement behind the older Nara's eyes. Nara Shikaku then turned to his peer. "In other words, you want my son to help your daughter, even though they'll be facing each other in the finals." In the first round, mind you. "You'll forgive my bluntness, but what's in it for him? Or us, for that matter."

"An alliance."

Shikamaru thought there wouldn't be any political jargon, yet the Head of the Hyuga kept doing just that. He couldn't blame him for that last one, however; the Hyuga girls would have reacted badly to what he was offering.

Shikaku snorted. "You'll forgive me if I'm not jumping at the opportunity. We're already allied with the Yamanaka, Akimichi and Sarutobi clans."

"I will let you reflect on that. In the meantime, you will set up a schedule."

Huh?

"I'm sorry, but it sounded to me like I'd still babysit your daughter, regardless of the outcome of these negotiations."

"Training, not babysitting." demanded the youngest person present. A long pause. "And it's _daughters_."

Shikamaru opened and closed his mouth twice. In front of him, Hiashi Hyuga was glaring at both him and Hanabi. The third time he tried to say something his father burst into laughter next to him, and the young Nara decided he had quite enough.

"I'm not doing this; too troublesome. Ask someone else to do it." The ridiculous faces made by all of the Hyuga only managed increase Shikaku's humor. Finally, Hiashi frowned, but before he could say anything, the Nara clan head spoke.

"Unfortunately for you, Hiashi-san, my son has made his decision and I agree with him. I see nothing good coming from two contestants training together. Besides, I don't like bullies."

Hiashi's frown deepened, but he remained quiet.

"What if you were guaranteed a promotion?" This time Hinata spoke,

Shikamaru's face grew serious all of a sudden. "No." He wasn't entering Konoha's politics. Not if he wanted Naruto's hapiness.

Before she could propose something as equally outrageous, his father betrayed him. "How about you take in the backyard and assess her skills?" Shikamaru glared at his dad, but the man continued. "She can't train with us, but at least we can offer advice. Would that be enough for now? Hiashi-san"

Hiashi frowned. "Hinata."

Hinata blinked twice and bowed her head. "Yes. Thank you, Nara-san"

Shikamaru returned to his glaring. He had told his old man, _repeatedly_ , that the Nara brand of chivalry was troublesome to the n-th degree. And now this happens! And what does said father do to defend himself? He shrugs and smiles. It's not like he has to deal with the troublesome kunoichi. He stifled a groan under gritted teeth. There was no way for him to get out of this.

"Let me show you our training area."

He had expected Hinata's sister to follow, so his expression did not change when he noticed that two girls were currently observing him with their Byakugan active.

He pocketed his hands and slouched like he usual did.

"I'm going to have a spar with one of you. To decide which one, you will face each other.

"A fair bit of warning – if I notice either of you holding back, I'll assume you don't need my help and I'll just leave – I have better things to do." Like sleeping, or cloud gazing, or hanging with Choji or Naruto.

Hinata paled. He guessed she was afraid of her father noticing.

"Hiashi-san won't use the Byakugan while he's with my old man."

The heiress looked dubious, but took her stance and faced her sister. The bout was shorter than expected. They had started poking each other for about three minutes when Hinata called the fight.

"The Tenketsu points in her arms are sealed; she can't fight or use Jutsu anymore."

Hanabi looked like the sky had fallen. "You can close the Tenketsu points. You can _see_ the Tenketsu— he was right; you were holding back, _onee-sama_."

Even Shikamaru could feel the sting of that last remark. Hinata flinched violently. "P-please Hanabi, d-don't, it's not l-like that. I'm doing this for you."

Shikamaru decided to speak now, before he judged this whole Hyuga business troublesome and left. The idea was tempting, but his mom would kill him. "For what it's worth, she's not lying, you know."

"What would you know? You're nothing but an outsider," the youngest sneered.

Shikamaru shrugged. "Yet I'm the only one who figured out Hinata was faking." He ignored the glares and went on. "You should have been branded a Hyuga branch member five years ago now, but mysteriously, Hinata started to underperform right around then."

Dead silence. He had to hand it to the Hyuga; even young, they knew how maintain composure when it came to clan matters. Unfortunately for them, he didn't need confirmation. During his stay at the academy, he had kept tabs on all the students, the Genin graduates, even some of the teachers. Needless to say, he knew a lot about Konoha.

"You shouldn't know about the Cage Bird Seal."

"Then stop sending your branch members to the academy." Before she could try to find more holes in his statement, he turned to the older sister. "If you need to comfort your baby sister, I'll let you leave; I still have better things to do."

The two girls glared again, but only one stepped forward taking the traditional Juken [Gentle Fist] stance. He thought Hinata would have left by now; she must've really wanted that Chunin promotion. Unless… was this only about the Chunin exams, or was this really about the Nara-Hyuga alliance? Then everything fell into place, and what she had just told her sister made a frightening amount of sense. He wanted to groan, or slap someone – preferably Naruto. He would have to make sure his mind wasn't playing tricks on him.

Hinata rushed forward. Shikamaru closed his eyes and took a gamble.

"I won't be the Nara heir."

Hinata tripped over her own feet. Shikamaru blinked. He was right. Why was he always right when it came to troublesome situations? He watched her rise with annoyance.

It was now the eldest sister's turn to fall into despair. "I… I… _Why_?"

Did he look like that when his plans fell into tatters? Shikamaru frowned. "Wrong question; the question you should be asking is – _why_ am I telling you this?"

Hinata paled. She probably realized he'd figured her out. "I… Shikamaru-kun, Shikamaru-san… I can explain…"

Funny, her stutter was gone, he noted absentedly. He sighed. "Sure you can. It's a bit too late for that though." He sighed again, looked at the clouds with undiluted envy, and rubbed his shoulder. "Seriously, your plan was so full of holes that I managed to foil it twice in the span of five minutes."

She glared at him in response. "And why aren't you the heir? Just to spite me?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "You were banking on me not liking you, and on Naruto becoming influential enough that the Hyuga would want a alliance with him instead. Frankly, your first plan of becoming Chunin to form a cell with Naruto had more merit. I'd commend you for making the most of a bad situation, but that wasn't much of a plan, was it?"

Hinata blushed at the admonishment. Shikamaru's rolled his eyes. "I don't care about you; you've always managed to screw yourself even when I tried to help you. I'm not the heir because it prevented me from helping Otouto."

Hinata opened her mouth and closed it. She suddenly looked miserable. "Otouto? You love him that much?"

He didn't think about the answer. "As much as you love Hanabi."

Let's hope she finally got it. Maybe Naruto would have a new friend. He looked at Hinata again and saw tears. "Your sister has been observing us with her Byakugan for a while now. Are you going to be okay?"

She dried her tears and nodded. Shikamaru sat down and let her compose herself. He knew she would need time to think a new plan – one that hopefully didn't involve him. "I'm fine. She has no idea what just happened."

Shikamaru shrugged. She shouldn't underestimate her sister, but that was none of his business.

Hinata got up and smiled politely. "You still owe me a spar, Nara."

He huffed, but stood up.

"And whether you want it or not, I will be coming every week to get your help. I'm sure your mother will help you set up a schedule."

Shikamaru groaned. Hiashi had told her. There were rules among men to be respected.

"Oh, and I'll be bringing Hanabi with me as well."

Shikamaru glared at the troublesome woman in front of him. This is it what happened when he helped people. If she thought he'd simply let himself push around, she didn't know one Nara Shikamaru. "You do that and I'll bring Naruto here under the pretense that you're bullying me."

Hinata squeaked. "Y-you wouldn't!?"

Shikamaru looked at her; three seconds later, she crossed her arms, and pouted. "F-fine, maybe that was a bit cruel," she admitted, before starting to poke her fingers timidly, "but I will still h-have you h-help me with N-Naruto-kun."

Shikamaru smiled for the second time today. Hinata shivered.

"O-on s-second thought..."

"Too bad. You already asked."

Hinata let out a small whimper.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Naruto's time without his team went very well. He had time to train whatever the hell he wanted to train with no fear of being doubted, or envied, or copied, or nagged into teamwork exercises. Besides his own training, he sought advice from Lee's sensei, and Shikamaru's sensei. They had been professional enough to answer his questions and even give him some tips. On top of that, his samurai training was going well. The only downside he could come up with was that he rarely saw Aniki anymore.

Which was probably why he was wandering through the village bored out of his mind.

He usually avoided public areas because of his reputation, but today he was almost looking for a fight. It must have shown on his face somehow, because no one was willing to meet his eyes today. Usually they couldn't help but glare at him with steely eyes, glance in his direction with disdain, or maybe watch him when they thought he couldn't see them. This time they were doing their best efforts to pretend he didn't exist – not out of hatred, but out of fear. It couldn't be him though; if there ever was a time they would have feared him, it would be when his pranks had become more… creative.

He used his sensor abilities and picked up a potent chakra coming from his left. …Huh, the chakra felt familiar, but he couldn't put a name on the source – an acquaintance maybe? He followed his sixth sense and landed somewhere near the hot springs. The familiar chakra belonged to man older than most active duty shinobi, but younger than the Hokage. Naruto had to admit the man had style – not as great as himself of course, but close; the Kabuki-style get-up was quite flamboyant. A guy dressed like that must have the power to back his lack of stealth, and his chakra attested to that. He could only see his back and white hair. The figure was familiar as well.

"Excuse me—"

"Not now brat; can't you see I'm busy?" The man snapped, before a perverse giggle soured Naruto's impression of the man.

With a glance, he could see the man was obviously spying on the outdoor hot springs nearby. He had researched the area for his now infamous Oiroke no Jutsu. The clientele for this particular bath was mostly kunoichi.

"You got guts peeping on kunoichi, I'll give you that; but aren't you a bit old for that? Haven't you heard of the red light district?"

The man snorted. "I'll have you know, that I wasn't _peeping_ ; I was _researching_."

Naruto frowned. "Huh uh. Ok, I'll bite; You're some kind porn artist or something?"

"Porn art— do you even know who I am, kid?" The man suddenly whirled around. "I'm the author of the best-selling series – Icha Icha [Make Out]."

Naruto snapped his fingers in triumph. "I knew Kakashi-sensei was reading porn while on duty! I can so blackmail him for this." He got a good look of the man and startled. "Eh, aren't you Jiraiya of the Sannin?"

The man shrugged. "That too."

"…Right then. I'll leave you to your 'research' I guess." Naruto left as he scratched his head in confusion. He had met Orochimaru in the Forest of Death; so why was Jiraiya's chakra familiar? Had they met before? This was confusing as fuck, but in the end shrugged. He had other shit to deal with.

As he left the area, he was completely oblivious to the Sannin's thoughtful stare.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **A/N: Hi! It's been two months already! Time flies when you're busy -_-'. Anyway, here's the next chapter. I put something more relevant to the last two chapters for this Omake. As always, thanks for the reviews; they are greatly appreciated.**

 **Many of you asked for parings, mainly as to Naruto. I'm open to suggestions. I have only one condition: she must be older than Naruto. Oh, and Kurenai is out, for obvious reasons.**

 **Omake**

 **Here were the fights for the preliminaries**

 **Sasuke vs. Rin = see chapter 11**

 **Temari vs. Misumi Tsurugi = see chapter 11**

 **Choji vs. Shino = see chapter 11**

 **Shikamaru vs. Neji = see chapter 11**

 **Kiba vs. Kankuro: This fight was fairly interesting. Kankuro tried to confuse Kiba by having his puppet take his place, unfortunately Kiba noticed by the smell and landed a clean hit on the real Kankuro with a well timed feint. After that, Kiba and Akamaru led the fight until they decided to blind Kankuro with a smoke bomb. The puppet used the smoke screen to mix in some poison gas. Kiba and his partner noticed too late. After that it was only a matter of time before Kankuro won. Everyone did admit that Kiba put out a great fight.**

 **Ino vs. Yoroi Akado: This fight was weird. Ino noticed belatedly Yoroi's ability. Still, she had a bit more stamina and speed than her opponent so she managed to trap him in the same way she had trapped Haruno Sakura. She then used her Mind Transfer Jutsu to finish the fight. This is when things got weird. As Yoroi lifted his hand to forfeit, he suddenly screamed and fell unconscious. Meanwhile, Ino never woke. The proctor had no choice but announce a draw, meaning both participants would not participate in the finals. Now why did that happen?**

 **Sakura vs. Hinata: That fight was one-sided. Hinata took a page out of Neji's book and thoroughly thrashed Sakura. The spiteful kunoichi didn't give Sakura chance to attack or even defend herself. She did not miss the opportunity to remind her opponent she had only managed to come this far because of her teammates. The beating was so severe, that the medics feared for her life for her while. Thankfully Hinata is still kinder than cousin; The wounds looked worse than they really were. Sakura would make a full recovery in only two weeks.**

 **Tenten vs. Dosu: This fight turned out similarly to the Tenten-Temari fight. The only difference was Dosu used sound instead of wind to repel Tenten's projectiles. It took some work for him to close the distance, but once he did, the match was over. At least this fight wasn't as one-sided – Dosu got out of that fight with a severe wound to the side.**

 **Gaara vs. Zaku: Think of the Shino-Zaku fight, only much more one-sided. Gaara never moved or lifted a finger. His sand never attacked. The only thing that happened was Zaku's arms blew up because the holes for his jutsu were clogged with sand. After that Gaara left, stating the weakling wasn't even worth killing.**

 **Naruto vs. Rock Lee = see chapter 11**

 **So that leaves us with the fights for the finals.**

 **1\. Temari vs Dosu**

 **2\. Sasuke vs Shino**

 **3\. Shikamaru vs. Hinata**

 **4\. Kankuro vs. Gaara**

 **Naruto is to face the winner of match 1**


	13. Dealings

**The Yin Yang Twins**

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Disclaimer: Naruto and its universe \ canon are property of Kishimoto... And whoever owns Kishimoto I guess.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **13** **. The Chunin Exams: Dealings**

 ** _In which Shikamaru mediates Naruto's shady dealings_**

Shikamaru followed his otouto with no small amount of apprehension. What Naruto was attempting was dangerous in itself, so he had hoped his otouto would have tried this after the exam finals, or at least opted for a more controlled environment.

The Forest of Death was a hazard – there was nothing controlled about it. It was the last place Orochimaru had been seen. Most importantly...

"I'm pretty sure this is illegal," He stated conversationally.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with taking a stroll around."

"What about that 'No Trespassing' sign at the gate we went through?"

Otouto snorted. "If they really wanted to keep shinobi out, do you really think they'd just put a fucking sign? Besides, no one actually comes here. You'd have to be crazy or stupid to come here."

"Oh, and what are you two, then? Crazy, stupid, _both_?"

Shikamaru wished he had been the one to say that. He slowly turned and saw their proctor for the second part of their Chunin exam. The kunoichi was leisurely sitting on a branch eating dango.

"No one actually comes here," he repeated sarcastically. Naruto glared at him, but the Jonin regained his attention quickly enough.

"So, any reason I shouldn't just kick your asses and drag you two for a nice play date at T&I?" she chirped happily.

He had heard stories about that place from his father. Yeah, that was not going to happen if he had anything to say about it. He looked at Naruto. "...I got nothing."

Naruto shrugged. "Can you really do that?"

"You guys should worry less about what I _can_ do, and more about what I _will_ do." A heavy silence settled.

Naruto gave him a pleading glance and Shikamaru sighed. He took a look around, focusing on their proctor and the direction of the gate they had bypassed to enter the forest. Then it clicked. Instead of relief, Shikamaru felt the urge to crawl under the nearest rock and hide.

He gave his otouto a warning glance and said. "Let's just go, Naruto; she can't hurt us for coming here. We'll find somewhere else."

"You know, I was hoping you'd say that." her grin went from threatening to sadistic. "Since this is a training area and all that, how about—"

Shikamaru's smoke bombs detonated before she finished her sentence. He made a dozen of clones and sent them in every direction and knew Naruto was probably doing the same, on an different order of magnitude. For the finishing touch, the young Nara threw some paper bombs around. Only after the first explosion did he and Naruto fled the place.

A minute of running later, and Shikamaru relaxed a little. "How far is she, Naruto?"

The blond focused before answering. "Not far, but I'm sensing two of them."

Real clones. That was troublesome.

"You want to go with 'Sword & Spear'?

That strategy was decent enough, so Shikamaru nodded. "Sure, we still need to deal with the clone though."

Naruto nodded, and as they moved they noticed a brook. They headed in that direction and landed in a clearing. By the time Anko arrived, Naruto had activated his ninjutsu mode and Shikamaru had laid down a couple of traps. He took out his bow, and waited for Naruto's signal.

Anko landed on a tree branch near Naruto. "I found you," she sang happily. "So, are you big boys ready to face your punishment?"

"Bring it, old lady."

"Oh, you're going to regret calling me that, brat!" Anko purred threateningly "Hidden snakes technique!"

"Zenkudan!"

The compressed air blew right past the snakes, forcing Anko to either dodge or tank the hit. She chose to make three hand seals instead. Shikamaru saw the tiger seal and winced; he hoped Naruto noticed as well. The blond did, because he swore and jumped in time to dodge the gigantic fireball heading his way.

"You're a fucking Fire Jutsu User!" The fact that fire jutsu naturally countered his wind Jutsu did not stop Naruto from aiming another gust of wind at Anko. And that was Shikamaru's cue to support his little brother. He shot two arrows on rapid succession, forcing Anko to aim in his direction instead. The stream of fire incinerated the arrows, forcing him to roll out of the way, but gave Otouto the opportunity to close the distance, and that's where his ninjutsu mode shone. Naruto had the speed advantage; Anko might be able to overpower Naruto's jutsu, but only if she had the time to do so. Naturally, his brother wouldn't be giving her the opportunity. In fact...

"Shikamaru! Plan five"

Finally, it was time to end this. Shikamaru focused chakra into the next arrow. After a few seconds sparks of black lightning began to dance around the arrow. Anko saw this, but was too busy with Naruto to attack directly; her snakes and her projectiles were easily discarded. He waited for the right moment...

Suddenly he turned, spotted the second Anko behind him, carefully hidden in the trees, and let his arrow fly.

"Raiton: Kuro Senkou [Lightning Style: Dark flash]!"

The arrow disappeared moments after leaving the bow. Shikamaru waited and heard a sound similar to a firecracker. He managed to spot Anko's fall and sighed in relief.

"Naruto?"

"I don't feel anything."

So the second Anko wasn't the real one either. That wasn't surprising considering they were dealing with a proctor. He looked back; the first Anko was now a puddle of mud. Two mud clones. Oh well; as long as she didn't interfere with their project.

"Whatever," Naruto said. He probably thought the same. "this place is fine; let's get this over with."

"Don't you want to use a barrier in case 'the sexy and single Mitarashi Anko' tries to interfere?"

"Good idea. Come here and take care of the rest of your traps."

Shikamaru shrugged and got to work disarming the two or three wire traps still intact, and let Naruto work on his barrier. He noted that this new barrier was blue instead of the usual orange, and much larger too. On the other hand, he knew that barriers like that needed constant chakra supplies, meaning, if anything went wrong and Naruto needed to fight, then this barrier would go down.

Once that was done, Naruto took out one of his infamous black sealing cards. "Let's hope he's not a dumb fuck."

This time, Naruto looked ill after the Demonic Mind Transfer Jutsu. As for the Nine Tails, the beast that was towering above them looked positively intimidating. The thing measured two meters high even on all fours.

Shikamaru gave his otouto a nervous look. "Did you really have to give him that much chakra?"

The Kyubi seemed to agree, because he snorted. "You have guts human, I'll give you that. With the chakra you've given me, I could easily crush you like the miserable insects you are."

"Maybe," Naruto said as he grinned cockily, "But, is it worth it?"

The fox and the boy stared at each other, measuring one another until Shikamaru heard a crashing sound coming from outside of the barrier. The three turned and saw a very unnerving Anko, who by the looks of it, was trying very hard to control herself.

"Boy, when I'm done with the two of you, you'll wish you were in T&I."

Before Naruto or he could respond, the Kyubi moved with a speed surpassed Lee's fastest and crashed one of his paw against Anko, only for the barrier to hold. The young woman fell on her rear, sweating profusely, while Naruto was also sitting and sweating, but for different reasons. This was bad. Shikamaru didn't think he stood a chance against the current Kyubi. He decided to focus elsewhere; namely Otouto's state. This stronger barrier needed a constant supply of chakra to maintain, not to mention the additional load when under pressure from an attack.

"Are you okay, Naruto?"

Naruto wiped the sweat out of his forehead. "Fuck, one or two more hits like that and the barrier's gone. That fucker hits even harder than Rock Lee!"

"He's faster too. How much chakra did you give him?"

"About half of what I usually have." Shikamaru did a double take. "And he's not even being serious right now. I can tell."

As for the Fox itself, it pranced slowly towards them. "So that barrier wasn't to protect me from outside interference; it was to protect the outside world from _me_. It seems you're not as stupid as you look, human."

Shikamaru noted that it was enjoying being taller than they were. He didn't like this one bit. Once again he questioned this whole idea, but Plan K was Otouto's to deal as he saw fit; he would trust him to see it through.

Naruto stood up next to him. "So, have thought about my offer?"

The Kyubi's growl sounded like a derisive snort. "Was there really a choice? You're letting me choose between limited freedom, or a jail even worse than any of the previous Jinchuriki could have imagined. I am no fool, human."

"Good, we'll go over the terms and then—"

"I don't care for the terms. I will agree to them anyway. Don't waste my time and let's just get this over with."

Naruto frowned. "We'll be going over those fucking terms and then, you choose if you agree or not.

And so Naruto took out a scroll and started reading the terms of their partnership. The more he read, the more surprised the Kyubi became, until it clearly had enough. "What's this!? This... contract? Why would you propose such rules? You—"

Naruto cut him off. "Stopping you from going against me is more than enough. You might have not noticed, but you're a pretty big fucking deal around here, and I'm starting to see why. So," he added after a beat, "are we good?"

The Kyubi mused over the terms, before he said, "I want to be able to follow you around whenever I please."

Naruto twitched. "Oi!"

"You have to learn how to change your size," Shikamaru retorted.

"I already can, pineapple human."

He twitched, but in the end Naruto agreed, so he kept his mouth shut.

"You as well." Shikamaru looked around in confusion. And then pointed at himself with an arched eyebrow. "No, the other young Nara."

He groaned "Why would you— wait, don't answer that. You just want to make my life miserable, don't you?"

The Nine Tails chuckled. "I like this pineapple human. I will enjoy his suffering. And just to be sure, he's forbidden to use that abomination of a jutsu on me."

Shikamaru frowned. He wasn't stupid. "...Unless necessary," he added.

Naruto agreed. "And you can't tease him too much, or else he'll get cranky and I won't be able to tor— err, tease him as well."

Shikamaru glared at them both. "You're despicable."

They went over the contract again, and once the three of them had nothing to add, the Kyubi put his chakra on the scroll, while Naruto signed it in blood and that was that.

"So, Kurama is it?" The Fox growled, but that only served to make Naruto smile. "I guess I'll see you in two days with the real summoning seal. This one won't be able to sustain more than my capacity of chakra."

The Kyubi snorted. "That is fine. Now drop that barrier"

The second Naruto did so, the Kyubi dashed further into the forest, and then it immediately backtracked and jumped in front of Anko. "Tell your Hokage that this Forest is now my territory." After that it vanished, and didn't come back.

Anko looked lost. "You guys just cost me my favorite training area."

Shikamaru was smart enough to hear the danger behind those words and decided to disappear before the kunoichi decided to help and make it permanent. He was joined by Naruto a few seconds later.

"Come back here and let me end you!" The order went ignored.

"Want to sleep at my house tonight, Otouto?"

"You know what? I'll take you on your offer."

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Naruto had always known he was too awesome for his own good. He was kind, strong, charming, fashionable, and had charisma. The only thing missing was fame and fortune, but he was patient. Still, all that greatness had some drawbacks.

In fact, he was currently glaring at one of those drawbacks from across Team Seven's training area. He had been going through his kata for almost an hour now and she was just looking at him.

"Can't you piss off, Pinky? I'm busy here."

"We need to talk," The annoying girl said.

"I'm _busy_."

"Which is why I'm waiting."

Naruto grit his teeth while he moved. "You don't have to wait _here_."

"If I don't you'll be gone by the time I come back."

Right. He had given her the slip that way for a couple of days now. He thought she'd get a fucking clue. "That was me, nicely hinting that I'm not interested in your talk. Piss off."

He heard let out a frustrated sound and thought she had finally gotten the message, but no, she didn't. "Naruto... Kakashi and Sasuke are training outside of the village; you're the only teammate I have left," she pleaded.

He refused to answer. With any luck, she'd get the message this time and leave him alone.

"I'm thinking of quitting the shinobi life."

The first thing Naruto thought was that she was damn lucky she could consider quitting, let alone go along with it. Not like he would ever quit, but he would have loved to actually have the _option_ of doing so. His second thought was he was damn lucky she had her doubts _after_ his shoe-in for promotion. His third thought...

"You're not going to say anything!?"

He picked up the hurt in her voice and frowned. "Why should I? You think I give a fuck? I'll be a Chunin in a few weeks so your career choice doesn't affect mine at all."

Pinky's expression went from surprise to anger, but the hurt remained. "You really don't care at all?"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Didn't you forgive me?"

"I forgave you for being a bullying bitch, yeah. I didn't forgive you for trying to turn Aniki against me."

Pinky tried to speak a couple of times. "It was only once. And he ignored me anyway, so it didn't matter in the end."

Naruto snorted. "You tried to take away the only friends I had." she startled. "You knew I was an orphan. You knew how the teachers treated me, you knew how people hated me. And you still did what you did. Thought the demon brat didn't deserve friends, did you?"

Apparently she didn't think so anymore, because he saw the horror distorting her face before she lowered her head. "I'm sorry Naruto, I didn't think…"

"That's _exactly_ why Aniki hates you." The moment he said it, he knew it was true. She had acted without thinking; the one thing Aniki hated. And the smarter you were, the more Aniki hated you for that lapse in judgment.

"You must hate me too."

Naruto took a deep breath. "I don't want to. Hating you would mean that you're part of my life. I don't want to care about you. When I'm Chunin, we're done."

Ok. Now that he said it, he felt that he was a bit cruel. He looked at Pinky and winced. She looked quite shaken. He then remembered what she did and didn't feel as much of an asshole anymore. It felt awkward to just end the conversation like that, but he had nothing else to say. He turned and walked away; he wasn't in the mood to train anymore.

"Wait!" Naruto stopped. "I... I get it, but since we're still teammates for now, you can still give some advice right? That's basic work ethic, right?"

Naruto frowned. She wasn't wrong. "Alright, fine. What do you want Haruno?"

"I... like I said, I'm thinking of quitting. Do you think I should?"

Naruto looked at her. "You don't want to hear what I think." The girl flinched. "Are you a good kunoichi? Nope, you suck. Could you become a kick-ass kunoichi? Hell yeah." Pinky had winced at first, but was now gawking at him. "You're smart and your chakra control is probably better than most Jonin. Will you be one though? That depends. Your mindset is fucked up. As long as it stays that way, you'll die."

Haruno was drinking his words like they were liquid hope. It unnerved him. It also reminded him of the academy. He was just surprised she hadn't brought out a pen and a notebook.

"What do you mean?" She asked with wide eyes.

"You have no desire to get stronger. Or at least you're not ready put in the effort to become stronger. I don't really give a shit about your dream to repopulate Konoha with lots of small Uchiha, but it won't amount to much if you're dead."

She had blushed, but now Pinky looked like she just went through an ice cube shower. "I can see what you mean. I'm really lucky to be in Team Seven, aren't I?"

Naruto shrugged. "Face it; the moment you had to fight for yourself you lost – badly."

She was clearly considering his words, so he left her to her musings. He wanted to see Aniki now, to wash the bad meeting away. As he walked, he reviewed the conversation and realized that he truly wanted Pinky to become an awesome kunoichi, not really because he cared, but because the wasted potential grated his nerves.

Didn't that mean he cared in a way?

"Naruto, I—"

"Piss off, Pinky." He abruptly stopped walking. As his eyes checked his surrounding he nearly stopped breathing. He had been so busy with his thoughts that he didn't noticed that Pinky had followed him. "What the hell are you doing here!?" he hissed furiously.

"I'm following you?"

Aniki was going to kill him. Even worse; Aniki was going to punish him. He shuddered. Nope. No way was he going to do this.

"Piss off, Pinky"

"Come on, Naruto, I'm not asking for the world here! Just a bit of help!"

"No. Now go away."

"B-but were teammates."

Naruto stopped to glare at the hopeful kunoichi. "You know, that team spirit bullshit is getting old _real_ fast."

"I'll never ask for another favor again!"

Naruto snorted. "That's what you said last time you tried talking to me about training." That was a week ago.

"But, but, this is about my survival!" Naruto looked at her. "I already said that as well, didn't I?"

Pinky looked resigned for a moment, before her attitude changed completely. "But I can't help it Naruto. You're so awesome and strong, and way cooler than anyone else, except Sasuke-kun, you're really the only one who can help me. Please?"

Shit. Pinky knew his ultimate weakness – he was a sucker for flattery. He tried to block out her words, but her compliments became more elaborate by the second. Then the image of Shikamaru appeared in his mind.

"Just shut it, Pinky."

"You don't even have to do anything. I already know who Aniki is; I just need you to be there with me so he'll at least listen to me."

Naruto snorted. "And you're going ask him to help you because...?"

"Because you thought he could help me before."

"And his answer was...?"

"Well the worst that could happen is that he refuses."

"That's the _best_ that could happen," for him, that is. He didn't think there was a best case scenario for Haruno.

Pinky gulped. "Ah well, it's already too late anyway. Yoshino-san already let us in."

It wasn't too late, he could still run away and pretend Pinky had come here on her own. That option went out the window when Shikamaru's mother nearly shoved them through the back door.

Naruto saw Shikamaru had company. He recognized the lavender-haired kunoichi at once and recoiled in horror. "No."

Shikamaru looked up, smiled when he saw him, and frowned when he saw his company. "You brought _Haruno_ here."

Naruto winced at the tone. "You can't fucking do this! I didn't want Pinky to follow me. I can't even beat her up; your mom would kill me!"

Aniki shrugged. "She still followed you here. Troublesome. What's done is done, I guess. Come here, Otouto." Naruto's shoulders slumped. Before he made a step forward Shikamaru glared at his teammate. "Get out, and don't come back."

Pinky choked on her words. "Wh—but I need—"

"You don't require my help. It's convenient for you. Unfortunately for you, I'm not like Naruto – I don't have to help you."

Naruto winced at the perfectly neutral tone in Aniki's voice. Somehow it made what he had to say that much worse. Next to him, Pinky was shaken, but not ready to throw in the towel. Unfortunately for her, Aniki wasn't done with her yet.

"You have your parents – both Chunin – the Konoha library, Iruka-sensei, not to mention all our previous instructors. Of that list, Naruto had only access to Iruka-sensei in his last three years at the academy. And even then, Iruka-sensei has tens of students to take care of."

"Yeah, well, he had you didn't he?"

"Yes. And you wanted to take that away from him."

To her credit, Pinky looked properly chastised. On the other hand, Hinata looked murderous. Naruto was relieved he didn't have her as an enemy.

"Naruto, I didn't know, I swear I didn't know."

The blond really wanted to believe her. There was only one problem with that.

"Yeah, a bit late for that. I don't think I can forgive you for that last one, Pinky. And I don't think Aniki will either," he added, pointing at his brother. "You won't get his help, sorry."

"What about her, then?" He could hear the resignation in her voice.

"She is my first opponent in the finals; do you really think I'm helping her with training?"

Pinky blinked, and then she blushed. "...Right. I'll leave you three to it then." She paused as she left. "I really am sorry Naruto. I'll... I'll make it up to you. I swear."

Naruto sat down and faced Shikamaru. The other boy looked at Hinata. "You're up," he said, and fell on his back to look at the clouds. The girl's head moved back and forth between them, pure disbelief clearly visible on her face.

"Y-you! You're n-not helping me a-at all!"

Shikamaru didn't move. "You're in my home – the only place you'll ever be able to freely talk to Naruto. I am the only reason Naruto is even looking at you right now. And I gave you advice. Naruto's not a pet or a beast you can tame – he's a person."

Hinata flinched before poking her fingers for a good five minutes. Aniki fully immersed himself in his cloud gazing, which was great for him, but Naruto was bored out of his mind, not to mention Hinata was wasting Aniki-time.

"Naruto-kun. I... I r-really like you, so please go out with me."

Naruto blinked. "Yeah, that's not going to happen."

The girl lowered head, so he couldn't see how much effect his words had on his stalker until he heard a muffled sob. Great, now he felt like an asshole. He didn't like her though, and he respected her enough that he wouldn't pity her. Sure enough her head snapped up and if Naruto hadn't heard her just now, he wouldn't have known she was sad.

"R-right, I suppose it c-can't be helped." She paused to look at Aniki before she started again. "I'm sorry, Naruto-kun."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "What for?" he'd be damned if he got fooled twice by his brother.

Hinata gulped, but explained how, seeing she might end up with a birdcage seal soon, she decided to push an alliance with the Nara. The idea was that since she hated Shikamaru and the feeling was mutual, they would be able to stall their marriage long enough for the future Hokage to fall in love with her.

Naruto mulled it over. "And I suppose that by 'future Hokage', you mean me?" Her blush answered him. "Well, I'm impressed by your plan." more like scared, but she didn't need to know that. He was about to add more but he heard a snort. He glared at Shikamaru. "What...?"

"That's the kind of plan you'd make – if you didn't suck at politics." He winced and so did Hinata. That was a backhanded compliment. His plans were usually great for something on short notice and relied on surprise mostly; and since his plans were usually short term, that worked pretty well. In the long run however...

"...It falls apart in the long term?"

"Only if you take out the fact that I'm not the Nara heir anymore."

Naruto shook his head. That revelation had probably startled Hinata badly, and he had missed it. "But wouldn't that work better? I mean, you're not the heir, and she wouldn't have been the heir either."

Shikamaru didn't even bother to glance at his direction. "Man, you really suck at politics."

Naruto grew a tick mark, but refrained from throttling his dear Aniki. "Anyway, since nothing came out of it, I guess I forgive you?"

"Are you asking or telling?"

"Fuck you, Aniki!"

"Love you too, Otouto."

Naruto heard Hinata giggle and glared at her. "I'm s-sorry, but you two sound like Hanabi and I." Naruto frowned. "Hanabi is my imouto.

So they acted like siblings? Naruto smiled at that. Hinata didn't know, but that's the best thing she could have ever said to him. "You're forgiven Hinata."

His warmth must have taken Hinata by surprise, because she nearly fainted. Taking a moment to regain her bearings, she then proceeded to the her next point. "S-speaking of forgiveness, S-shikamaru-kun also forgave me."

Naruto turned to his Aniki. "Don't look at me like that," his brother said. "She still doesn't know. I thought you'd want to see this."

He turned at Hinata, looked at her for two seconds and burst into laughter. The girl frowned. She really had no clue. Oh this was fucking gold! He eventually stopped and smiled at Hinata, who by that time had grown weary.

"Oi, Hinata, did you know Shikamaru wanted us to be friends from the beginning?" Hinata's eyes widened, before she glared at Shikamaru. "Now, now, I'm not lying you know. He keeps thinking I need friends, and since you obviously don't hate me like the rest of the village does, you actually were his first pick – even before Choji. Only problem was you kept going after Aniki for no reason, and I couldn't let that go... Hinata?"

Shikamaru finally sat up, and only to confirm what Naruto had done. Hinata still wasn't moving, and refused to answer to hand waving or finger snapping. He looked at his brother and said. "I think you just broke her."

They looked at each other and laughed, a true heartfelt laugh. That sound was what brought the Hyuga back. Naruto noticed her smile. It was enough to calm him down.

"Sorry Hinata. Think of this as a payback for all the hatred Shikamaru didn't deserve."

She flinched. "Y-you're n-not going to let that go?"

"Are you going to stop stalking me?"

Hinata opened her mouth and closed it. She failed to answer twice before she started poking her fingers. "Do I have to? I promise you won't notice me."

That girl was weird. He exchanged a glance with Aniki who shrugged. He sighed. He was probably going to regret this, what with Ino already around but...

"Uh, Hinata? I know everyone needs hobbies and stuff, and maybe stalking is yours, but stalking people that are aware of your stalking is kinda pointless. Besides, how are we going to become friends if you keep hiding."

Hinata stopped her poking and have both boys an cautious glance. "Y-you'd want m-me around? After a-all that?"

"Do you still hate Shikamaru?"

"Yes." Naruto nearly face-faulted. "Shikamaru-kun is a meanie and a jerk, and he still hasn't fixed Hanabi, and he won't help me with the finals."

The blond couldn't help it. Seeing Hinata's pout he guffawed even louder this time. "That's sounds like Aniki alright! Stop being an asshole, Aniki," he added, facing his brother.

The boy shrugged again. "No promises. If she annoys me again I'll do worse." Hinata turned pale, and this only served to have Naruto rolling on the grass. Fuck, his sides were starting to hurt. He could see why Ino thought it funny to tease him. That also meant he could see why she'd never stop. Fuck.

Still, maybe having Hinata to mess with wouldn't be so bad after all.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

"So then, Dad knocks the giant boar with one punch and says to me; 'Choji, this is a secret between men'."

"And you never told your mom?"

"I told her the second we went home!"

Shikamaru burst into breathless laughter. He was currently in a BBQ restaurant trading funny stories with Choji, and was enjoying every second of it. Moments like these where he could simply relax in good company was becoming increasingly rare, and would be one the things he would miss the most if, or when, plan A failed.

Naruto was his little brother and he loved him dearly, but the words, calm, quiet, peaceful, were entirely foreign to his vocabulary, and trying to teach him the benefits of relaxing was always an exercise in frustration. And when, miraculously, Otouto _was_ relaxing – as in, asleep or unconscious, his luck would interfere.

Of course, if his troublesome blond little brother wasn't near, he had to deal with his troublesome blond teammate. What he had in loudness, she made up with obnoxiousness. And she was a girl, and a gossip, a nag, a girl, a nosy busybody, a girl, a fangirl, and did he mention she was a girl, because if you had to make a person out of everything he thought was annoying with people you'd end up with... Haruno, actually. In fact, Ino had somehow made it below Naruto on list of most troublesome people.

...Huh.

"So then—"

"Good evening, Akimichi-kun, Nara-kun."

The two boys stared at the newcomer in confusion, before Shikamaru frowned. Of course he had to be interrupted while he was with his best friend!

"Kurama-san." He noticed Choji's reproving glance and sighed. "Would you like to join us?" He added reluctantly, despite his friend's wide grin.

Yakumo sat at their spot, near Choji, facing him. Shikamaru noticed Choji's cheeks had turned almost crimson, but said nothing. "I usually wouldn't like to impose like this, but I admit that I'm my wit's end about this."

"And how can we help you?" Choji asked.

"Do you have any tips on how to befriend Uzumaki Naruto?" Her eyes were focused on him; Shikamaru mentally rolled his eyes. Meanwhile he traded a confused glance with Choji.

He closed his eyes for a second and sighed. "I might be of help – since I'm his friend and all, but you'll have to explain yourself; why do you want to be friends with Naruto?"

"Is there something odd about making friends?"

"Other than the facts that we've never met before the academy graduation, that you're trying to make friends with Naruto, that he doesn't know you, and that you invited him for tea?" he ticked off nonchalantly. "How about the fact you asked Yakushi Kabuto for some intel on us?"

The Kurama heiress flinched and Choji frowned. Shikamaru had already warned his friend about Yakushi, so he expected his reaction. As for Yakumo, she took his accusation the wrong way, which he had counted on.

"Currently, I'm trying to get all the info I can; Uzumaki Naruto is a mystery, and so I cannot grasp him."

Apparently, everyone makes the same mistake he had when it comes to Otouto. Should he tell her? He knew why she was so adamant to befriend Naruto, but at this time her attention was more annoying than helpful. The hard way maybe? Oh yes, this could be amusing.

"Well, I still don't know. It's not like I currently trust you; we're barely acquainted as it is."

Yakumo smiled. "I see. As it so happens, I'm interested in both Naruto and you; I hear you usually are a pair, yes? Then, you wouldn't mind for us to better know each other? In order for you to trust me, I mean."

Shikamaru shook his head. "See, you're already doing it wrong." The young girl's smile faded a bit. "I don't know if you're doing it on purpose, but you're implying that you're not interested in my friend Choji here." At the mention of his name, the plump Akimichi looked up from his grilled meat and stared in confusion at Shikamaru. "With all due respect, Kurama-san, I kinda take offense to that. Choji and I, we're sort of a package deal; Actually I have no idea me and Naruto were a pair of any sort. People usually mention me and Choji."

Yakumo quickly backpedaled. "Far from me the idea of alienating your friend, Nara-san. You're are absolutely right; the famous 'Ino-Shika-Cho', right? I must have misheard."

"Exactly," Choji agreed. "How about we set up a meeting with Ino after the Chunin exam finals? Ino would be angry at us if we left her out."

Poor Kurama-san looked like the definition of defeat. "I... of course yes. What a lovely idea. Shall we set on a date right now?"

They did, and Yakumo finally left, soundly beaten at her own game. The door had barely closed behind her before Choji asked, "So, how do you know Yakumo-san?"

Shikamaru groaned. And that's why he found the young Kurama troublesome. He had nothing against her. She was a decent kunoichi, with a powerful ability – too bad her teammates sucked. She was also kind, and well mannered, and not innately troublesome. However, she must be the reason the expression about hell and good intentions existed. She meant well, but her sense of timing was off, and she had the talent to push all the wrong buttons. In this case, his peaceful meal was almost ruined. And the worst part was that now Choji was interested in her, so they he would see her more often.

"Something caught your eye?" he teased likely.

"She's pretty. And she more quiet than Ino." Shikamaru had to nod at that. "She's looks like a Yamato Nadeshiko," he added with a blush.

Shikamaru hated hiding things from his best friend, but the story behind Kurama Yakumo was Naruto's to tell. "I can't tell you. But, I can tell you a bit about her." Shikamaru smiled when Choji nodded. "Unfortunately for you Choji, I don't think you'll actually get to choose your wife. Someday in the future, a woman will see you for the awesome guy you are and won't take no for an answer. And you being the kindhearted guy you are, will never be able to refuse." he saw his friend put another piece of cooked meat in his mouth before he added. "Or maybe they'll figure out what the partial size expansion Jutsu can work on _any_ part of the human body."

Choji choked on his food and Shikamaru laughed again. This was almost enough to make him forget that the Chunin exam finals were soon coming.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **A/N: Happy Holidays, and Happy new Year everyone! No OMAKE right now; I'll update this chapter with it sometime soon. Don't forget to review!**


	14. Apprehension

**The Yin Yang Twins**

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Disclaimer: Naruto and its universe \ canon are property of Kishimoto... And whoever owns Kishimoto I guess.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **14\. The Chunin Exams: Apprehension**

 ** _In which Naruto gets more involved with the Kyubi than he wants to._**

Naruto sat at his favorite spot, ordered three bowls of miso ramen, and waited in deep reflection. The finals were a matter of days now. Soon he'd know whether they would go with Plan A or Plan B, and to tell the truth, he wasn't particularly looking forward to it anymore.

Plan B sounded like the best idea ever at the time. Now, he had second thoughts. As time went on, they had more to lose should their plans fail – or should they succeed. Was that what Aniki was after when he kept demanding Naruto to befriend his classmates? It only made things harder, more painful for him when they'd realize their plans. Knowing Shikamaru was lazy, and therefore efficient to a fault, there must have been something he was missing.

He would ask him; Aniki would be here soon. He tried to sense his chakra, and instead felt two signatures that definitely weren't Shikamaru heading towards Ichiraku's. Naruto's head slammed against the counter in dismay, and a second later, a familiar purple haired young woman appeared.

"Hey brat, funny meeting you here." Naruto gave her a look, and she winked at him. "Yeah I've been meaning to work on my intro."

Naruto snorted "How about 'Hey brat, ready to get your ass kicked?'" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Anko mused on it for two seconds before she flashed him a smile. "Oh good. You're not as stupid as you look. I hope you prepared yourself for—"

"Hey brat, funny meeting you here."

Naruto slammed his head for a second time. "Give me a fucking break!" he heard a giggle and gave Ayame the stink eye. He then turned to the newcomer.

"Are you sure you guys are shinobi? You're not being subtle at all. I mean, I practically live here. Hell, Ayame here isn't a kunoichi and even _she_ can see how obvious you guys are being."

It was Ayame's turn to snort. "Gee, thanks Naruto. And don't think I didn't hear you swearing just now."

He flashed a bright smile, "Any time, Ayame-chan!" and returned to other shinobi. "So, you're here for the ramen? Please tell me you're here for the ramen."

The Sannin rolled his eyes. "Sorry kid, I have business with you. We need to talk."

"Yeah? Well pick a fucking number. I'm waiting for a friend here, and we're supposed to get both our asses kicked by that lady over there," he pointed at Anko, who grinned.

Just then he saw Aniki round the corner. He tried to wave him over, but suddenly his vision went hazy. Next thing he knew, he wasn't anywhere near Ichiraku's; he could tell because he couldn't feel Aniki's chakra anymore.

"Like I said—"

"What the hell is fucking wrong with you!?" his yell startled the sannin. Naruto was sorely tempted to startle the man some more with a chakra enhanced fist to the face, but he remembered his fight with Orochimaru – or whatever that thing was; he knew that as far as the likes of Sannin were concerned he was a scrub. Suddenly he couldn't remember why plan B sounded like a bad idea. Clearly it would be worth it just to be free from assholes like him. Instead, Naruto took a deep breath. He clenched and unclenched his fists, hoping to calm down.

Meanwhile Jiraiya smiled apologetically. "Sorry about your date. But hey, I brought her with us, so when I'm done, you can have your fun!"

Naruto slapped his forehead. He opened his mouth, closed it, pondered for a moment, and frowned. "You're going out your way to piss me off – why?"

Jiraiya's smile turned less goofy. "Oh? You're not as stupid as you look."

Well Shit; what a scary asshole. "Okay, if you're so good, why did you make your entrance so obvious?"

"Because sneaking around a sensor without a good reason isn't worth the hassle."

That guy figured out he was a sensor? He was pretty sure that even Jiji didn't know that. Naruto broke into a smile. "Ok, I'll bite; what do you want?"

"Well, what I really wanted was a spar, but—" his explanation was cut short when Naruto launched forward from his seated position and started with a rolling kick. "Whoa brat! Don't you know who I am?" He yelped, dodging the attack effortlessly.

Naruto regained his balance and continued his onslaught. "Jiraiya of the Sannin; writer of the famous Icha Icha series."

"Right on both accounts," the man boasted. He caught Naruto's next kick with one hand and threw him away. "Aren't you supposed to be nervous about fighting me?"

The blond landed roughly, but quickly got up. "About what, getting my ass kicked? I'm used to it." He got into a fighting stance. "Besides, you're the one who asked for an ass kicking. I'm happy to deliver."

"Cocky, aren't we? This should be fun," the Sannin mused.

And fun it was – for Jiraiya anyway. Naruto, on the other hand, was crumpled on the grass; bruised and panting. He was starting to get sick of getting his ass kicked; for a long while it had been Aniki, and when he caught up there was Kakashi, then Sanosuke, the Snake Bastard, the Furball, and now a super pervert. How strong did someone need to get to not feel like a fucking scrub around here!?

He heard footsteps and looked up to see Jiraiya shake the tingle out of his arm. "Well, you're definitely Chunin material. Your taijutsu is good after you pick up speed, and your usage of fuinjutsu would make any sealmaster proud."

"...But?"

"Nothing." The man gave Naruto another appraising look. "You know you have two types of chakra, right?"

Naruto frowned. He had a feeling whatever was going to happen next would suck. "Is this about the Kyubi?"

"Exactly!" the man beamed. "So here's what you have to—"

"I won't use the Nine Tails chakra." He didn't have a high opinion of the pervert in the first place, but now he was starting to dislike the man.

Jiraiya snorted, before taking a boastful pose. "Of course you can, you impudent brat! With my awesome training—"

Naruto frowned. "You growing senile, old man? I said won't, not can't! I already met the Furball; if I wanted to use its powers I would have done that five years ago."

The easy smile vanished from the Sannin's face. "You met it? I thought the old man told you about that six months ago."

Naruto rolled his eyes. Figures people were only worried about him accidentally meeting the Kyubi _now_. Nobody cared about that while he was left to the tender mercies of the village and their hatred; especially after being led to believe his existence was a sin. "Nobody told me about the Kyubi, so I kept it to myself."

"...What about Aniki?"

His smile hid a warning. "What Aniki knows or doesn't know is none of your fucking business, old man."

The Sannin snorted. "And the reason you won't use the Biju's chakra...?"

Naruto thought about a way to answer, and shrugged in the end. "Better show you than explain it, I guess."

Naruto took out a black card, primed it with Kyubi's chakra and threw it forward. He then made a couple of hand seals finishing with the Ram seal.

"Kuchiyose - Biju no Jutsu [Summoning - Tailed Beast Technique]"

Following the telltale sound and smoke, a three-meter tall Kyubi appeared, poised to strike. The fox blinked in confusion, looked around in alarm before he rounded on Naruto. "Idiotic brat! I was this close to finally devouring that irritating giant tiger and you dare summon me without warning!? Next time—"

He didn't get to finish because the speechless Jiraiya decided that this was the perfect moment to flank the beast with a ball of light while shouting "Rasengan!" at the top of his lungs.

Seriously, what the fuck was _wrong_ with this guy.

The blond groaned and walked past the Sannin – and Anko, who was obviously siding with the Sannin – and braced himself. Surely enough an acute spike of killing intent drowned the area. Naruto barely flinched, and stood defiantly in front of the enraged Biju.

"Move, brat."

"No." The fox growled, and the oppressive aura intensified. Fortunately, Naruto could feel the Kyubi holding its chakra contained. "Look, I'm sorry I summoned you without notice, and I'm not apologizing for the old pervert being an idiot, but you can't hurt him... or her," he added in afterthought.

A moment later and a jet of intense fire hit the Biju. The ferocity of the flames made Naruto jump back with a curse. He was about to call back the Kyubi, but the damage was already done; the Fox shrugged the flames off like it was nothing and grinned. Its tails grew in size and flickered like a blaze. Meanwhile, the condensation killing intent skyrocketed and the teensiest bit of biju chakra started leaking.

This was fucking bad.

"You really shouldn't play with fire," the Kyubi's voice rumbled.

Yeah, this was fucking terrible alright. Naruto moved in front of his tenant before the Nine Tails could really wreak havoc. "Don't you fucking dare, Kurama!" Naruto thundered.

The fox stilled, before turning all its malevolence towards Naruto. "What did you call me, vermin?"

"You heard me, Furball! I got this."

As he said that, he stepped in front of the Kyubi with another primed black card. This time a barrier appeared just as Anko tackled him. A moment later, an orange tail violently pinned the special Jonin against the glowing orange wall. Naruto groaned as he stood up – this whole mess could have gone a lot better.

"Those barriers are using my chakra," snarled the Biju

"It's either that or I cancel your summoning every time someone with a death wish tries to attack you." The Fox growled, but remained silent otherwise. Naruto turned towards the only tail that wasn't swaying. "She better be alive, Furball."

The Kyubi snorted. "If I wanted to return to my confinement, I'd do it for a much better reason than small game. And do _not_ call me Furball."

Naruto put on his goggles, and saw that Anko was still alive, conscious even. With that assurance, he walked towards Jiraiya and glared at him. "Can I drop the barrier without you trying to get us all killed?"

The Sannin gave him the evil eye, but nodded. Once the barrier was dropped, Anko warily rejoined the man's side without the Kyubi attacking anyone or destroying anything. After a moment, Jiraiya sat down and gestured towards the chakra monster behind the blond. "Explain me this."

Naruto thought about it for two seconds. "It's a combination of a Mind Transfer Jutsu, and a chakra siphoning seal."

Jiraiya blinked several times. "How are you so advanced in fuinjutsu?"

"I'm just awesome like that, he replied offhandedly." Naruto then frowned, before turning towards the Kyubi. "Why are _you_ surprised?"

The Biju frowned, seemingly caught off guard. "I didn't think it was possible for you to learn anything, vermin; let alone by yourself."

"Fuck you, Furball." Naruto wasn't stupid however. Kurama had never questioned his fuinjutsu mastery until now. Meaning... "Why did you think Jiraiya taught me?"

"Because he's your godfather."

Naruto said nothing for three whole seconds. He slowly turned towards the apprehensive looking Sannin and knew Kurama was telling the truth again. Still, just to be sure he would ask the man. "Is that true?"

Jiraiya struggled with an answer for a moment. "I... Yeah, I'm your godfather, brat. Nice to meet you?"

Naruto laughed with genuine mirth. He ignored the odd looks his audience was throwing at him and calmed down on his own. But really, it was better to laugh in this situation, thinking about it might lead to conclusions Naruto might not want to think about.

Best leave it for after the Chunin finals.

The blond calmed down and returned to the Sannin. "Was this meeting about the Kyubi? Because as you can see, it doesn't get any better than that."

"Up to how many—"

"Eight. Drawing out all of its chakra will still kill me."

"Right." Jiraiya stayed silent for a moment. Naruto could see the man looked guilty about something – probably the fact that never bothered to say hi for the last thirteen fucking years. Or maybe because the asshole realized how acting like a perfect stranger to someone who had been looking for family, for anyone to accept him for years, was... He had no words, really. "Yes, I'm done. Naruto—"

Too late now; he wanted nothing to do with his so-called godfather at the moment. "Can I leave now? I kinda need to prepare for the Chunin finals and all that."

Jiraiya waved him away with a half-hearted smile.

Naruto walked and his tenant followed soon after. "Hey, are you a good sensor?" he asked as soon as they left the Sannin.

"My senses are a thousand times sharper than your own."

He shrugged. "Whatever. Can you tell what the fuck is wrong with Anko? I can sense the Snake Bastard from her; same as Sasuke. But it's more than chakra. I don't know what it is, but it feels very wrong."

The Kyubi's grin sent shivers down his spine. "Not bad, human. That 'something' you're sensing is a soul, or at least a part of one." the Fox said before it vanished.

Naruto made a disgusted face. "Well shit!"

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Shikamaru ate his meal an air of perfect boredom, as was his habit. So when he said in a casual tone, "I'm not the Nara heir," between bites, his parents were slow to register and react accordingly. His father nearly choked on his food, while his mother narrowed her eyes dangerously.

"Excuse me?" Shikamaru winced. He expected a sharp rebuke, if not a physical one. "Nara Shikaku, you'd better have a good explanation for this!"

Both he and his father were caught completely off guard for once. Shikaku quickly recovered, however. "How should I know why—"

His reply was stopped by a spike of killing intent. "Do you really want to finish that sentence? I know how the Nara clan works. Shikamaru said he _wasn't_ the heir, not that he _wouldn't_ ; that means you knew about this."

The Nara clan head grinned. "Troublesome. I knew I married you for more than your beauty."

Yoshino blushed, to Shikamaru's disgust. She even giggled. "Oh shush, you! I'm trying to be worried and angry here! Now answer the question."

Shikaku sighed. "Our dear son wants to leave the village."

The Nara matriarch looked from father to son. "I don't understand. You want to quit the shinobi life? Has something happened?"

Shikamaru almost shrugged, but then remembered he was talking to his mother. "Well, I'm not exactly trying quit being a shinobi, but yeah something did happen; I met one Uzumaki Naruto."

Yoshino frowned. "What does this have to do with Naruto-kun?"

"Everything, actually; I know much more about Naruto than you think I do."

Yoshino glanced at her husband, who did not bother to disguise his nod. "So what exactly are you trying to do with Naruto-kun that would have him leave the village."

"I want him to be happy."

"He looks happy enough to me."

Surely, _surely_ his mother was joking. Naruto was currently a ticking bomb of emotions, partly thanks to him. Seriously, the village has no clue what Otouto had unknowingly done in order to save them and it disgusted him. And the worst thing was they had left him completely ignorant of everything. Shikamaru had watched him work hard just to have a few real friends; had fought not see his potential wasted because of some idiots that didn't know better. And if that wasn't enough, Naruto had people like Iruka-sensei and the Hokage wanting him to become the next Hokage.

Hokage.

As if they hadn't sacrificed enough of Naruto's life for an ungrateful Konoha already. The price to pay in order to become Kage was already absurdly high; one had to sacrifice their friends and family, and something their values, their life... Everything to Konoha. There was reason he never heard of a Nara even thinking of becoming Hokage. Heck, they didn't even want to become ANBU.

The worst part was Naruto would do it too; even now Otouto had kindness coming out of who knows where. He'd sacrifice his almost non-existent happiness for them with a smile on his face, and they would let him. They _intended_ to let him.

Shikamaru simply replied. "Right now, Naruto is not happy; he's just very good at hiding behind a smile."

For a moment, everything was quiet. "So you don't think Naruto-kun can be happy here; what does that have to do with you not being the heir?"

Wasn't it obvious? "Somebody has to go with him."

"It doesn't have to be you."

Who else? Who else was going to put him before Konoha? Iruka-sensei? The Hokage? If they hadn't done so by now, when were they going to do it?

"He's my otouto."

Her mother shook her head. "You know they'll never let Naruto leave Konoha, right? You know what he is."

He scoffed. "It's a good thing that they won't get to decide. I have a plan."

His mother threw Shikaku a sharp look. The man sighed. "He does have a plan; plans actually. Some of them might even work. But for some of his plans to work, he needs to come and go from Konoha as he pleases."

Yoshino nodded in understanding. "Meaning he can't be the heir."

"Only, our son went one step further; he doesn't want the Nara clan to suffer for his decision, so technically he's not part of the Nara clan."

Shikamaru winced at the glare Yoshino sent him. "Mom—"

"Don't you 'mom' me, Nara Shikamaru! You're going to fight me, and then we'll see if I'll agree to your foolishness. Do you have any idea how dangerous the world is, and now I hear you're refusing to learn the Nara clan secret techniques?"

Shikamaru wanted to protest, but the matter was out of his hands when a kunai flew towards his head. He expertly caught it by the handle and gave his mom an annoyed glance. "Can't we at least take this outside? I don't want be held responsible for wrecking the house."

His mother shrugged and pointed to the backyard. "After you."

He hadn't made two steps out in the backyard, before he needed to move out of the way of several kunai, followed by a plethora of little fireballs. If anything, he was glad to know his mother hadn't lost her edge to motherhood.

"Dodging isn't going to do you any good in the long run!" she bellowed angrily.

...Right, he knew that. That wasn't the problem though; he just didn't want to hurt or humiliate his mother. He saw something flicker out of the corner of his eye and used a Shunshin [Body Flicker] to move in the opposite direction.

"You know the Kage Mane [Shadow Bind]!" He said in surprise. "I thought you had to be born into the clan to learn these?"

"Would you stop stalling and focus on this spar!" Yoshino nearly shouted. "And since when do you know the Shunshin?"

"I paid a Chunin to teach me," he answered nonchalantly. Still, his mother was right. He had to go on the attack or this would never end. Seeing through her next attack, he made some hand seals and rolled to dodge a bigger fireball before he slammed his hands to the ground.

"Yomizukami no Jutsu! [Grasp of the Underworld Technique]"

The strands of shadow rose around Yoshino to ensnare her, but she moved faster. Straight into Shikamaru, in fact. The boy's eyes widened a fraction before he cancelled his Jutsu and jumped back in order to dodge a kunai. Thinking on his feet, he took out one of his Shadow Cocoons and blocked her second strike with it. His parents were surprised when his mother turned into a black cocoon, with only her head sticking out. Shikamaru didn't waste time and took out a kunai that he put to her throat.

"I'm guessing you yield?"

His mother struggled a bit before finally nodding. Once released, she gave him an approving glance. "That surprised me. I thought your father didn't teach any Nara jutsu."

"He didn't; I came up with those." Her eyes widened in surprise while he explained. "Dad knew he couldn't teach me any of the Shadow Techniques, but he taught me Yinton [Darkness Style] Chakra recomposition, which the specialized chakra used for Shadow Techniques is derived from.

Yoshino have her husband a look. Shikaku snorted and replied, "You didn't think I'd teach him nothing, did you?"

Shikamaru thought his mom's abilities were more surprising. Yoshino wasn't born a Nara; he was pretty sure she was breaking at least a dozen clan rules or so. He glanced at his father who winked and shrugged.

Troublesome.

"So, what now?" he asked his parents. After a few moments, her mother sighed.

"Seriously, what am I to do with stubborn Nara men?" Shikamaru looked at his parents, waiting for an explanation. "Try asking your father about our courtship. He was even more stubborn than you. Are you sure you and Naruto are just brothers?"

"Mom," he groaned. How could his mom even think about that?

"I'm just saying I still want grandkids when this is all over; it doesn't matter if they're adopted."

 _"_ _Mom!_ _"_

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Naruto was running late, and seriously reconsidered the agreement between him and the furball. He was Naruto, the awesome shinobi; not some fucking punching bag. Sanosuke had beat enough humility into him that he didn't need a reminder – especially from a sadistically snarky Kitsune.

A few hours after signing their contract, the Kyubi had demanded that they meet in the Forest of Death every few days in order to 'entertain' the asshole. He had ignored his summons at first, and got nearly traumatized for his poor choice. Apparently, Naruto wasn't the only one sneaky enough to avoid ANBU detection. Also, waking up to the open maw of a fox twice your size was enough to scare someone shitless.

He hastened his pace and arrived before nightfall, but in his hurry he drew unwanted attention. He had thought of losing his tail at first, but he recognized the chakra; it was definitely one of the Sound shinobi he had met earlier. He shrugged, entered the forest, and waited for the Oto nin inside.

He eyed his stalker, the bandaged shinobi from before, in annoyance. "I already kicked your ass once, and you still think you got a fucking chance?

"If I kill you, I'll prove myself to Orochimaru-sama. He will see my worth."

Naruto rolled his eyes. The next moment he jumped away from Dosu's attack and moved even further in the forest. The blond eventually stopped, looked around and frowned.

"Alright, get your ass over here, Furball."

A moment later, Dosu arrived, poised to attack. "So, have you had enough of running? Don't expect this fight to be like our last."

Naruto blinked. "You actually followed me into the forest," he said in wonder. He them shrugged. "Oh well – your funeral, Shit-face."

Before Dosu could reply, both teens heard an ominous voice. "I thought I told you not to call me that, human."

Naruto rolled his eyes. Deep inside he wondered how a three-and-a-half meter Biju could simply appear without making a sound like that. Frankly he preferred the ginormous version; at least the fox couldn't move stealthily at that size. He blinked. Didn't that damn furball grow taller again?

Anyway, Naruto snorted. "And thought I told you to call me Naruto." Now it was the Kyubi's turn to roll his eyes. "Anyway, I got a present for you."

The Kyubi set its sights on the Oto shinobi and frowned. "What is that?"

"He's one of my opponents for the Chunin finals. He's currently trying to kill me."

The Fox blinked, before a sinister smile graced his features. Dosu shivered, and made the very wise, but very belated decision to retreat.

"And he has the good sense to run away too." He turned to Naruto. "You realize he will not participate in the finals."

Naruto shrugged. "Like I said – present." He hesitated. "Just don't kill him, yeah? Now, since you'll be busy playing with your new toy, can I go back?"

The Kyubi rolled his eyes. "No, stay here." The next moment the Fox vanished in a burst of wind.

Naruto felt a smidgen of remorse for the poor fool. However, considering that the boy was one, working for Orochimaru and two, trying to kill him, he quickly got over it. Naruto totally ignored the Kyubi's answer and left in the opposite direction where his depressing home, but warm bed, waited for him.

…Or at least, that's where he thought he was going before he nearly slammed into orange fur. He managed to jump back at the last second.

"And where do you think, you're going?" growled the Kyubi

Naruto blinked, before he frowned. "But I brought you a present!"

"You and I have business, brat. Once I'm done with my little distraction, I expect to meet you at that clearing where I usually tor—train you." After saying his piece, the Kitsune leapt away, buffeting Naruto with its tails.

"But I brought you a present!" he tried lamely. Obviously, that meant nothing to the overgrown bastard. For a moment he was tempted to ignore Kurama's request and go home. He really didn't need an annoyed Kyubi on the day of the finals, so he changed direction again, stomping, cursing, and growling until his eyes fell on Shikamaru.

"Aniki? What the hell!?"

The young Nara let out a tired sigh. "Apparently, his supreme pain in the ass required our presence – forthwith."

"So he called you too, huh?"

"Called me?" Shikamaru looked annoyed. "That stupid Fox actually kidnapped me – in my own room."

"He did what!?" Naruto tried to hold his laughter – Shikamaru wouldn't tell him anything otherwise. "How did he manage that?"

"I don't know. One moment I'm waking up to face an opened mouth, next thing I know I'm here."

Naruto swore he would have Kurama tell him Aniki's reactions. He was only disappointed that he had missed such an awesome prank.

"Did he tell you why he brought you here," he asked with a semi-serious face.

Shikamaru grumbled, but shrugged in the end.

"Like I said before, we need to talk."

Naruto frowned and turned to face the Kyubi. What happened to the Oto bastard? Did the Furball grow bored of his toy already? "About what?"

"Goals. Or rather your goals. You still haven't answered my question, human. But I shall answer that for you. What you want from me is freedom."

Well shit!

"Your plan had me greatly... displeased," he growled menacingly. "I am no one's bargaining chip."

Shikamaru showed surprise, but that was entirely to Naruto's benefit. Something the Furball said should surprise him – more than he already was, anyway. "Now what?"

The Kyubi's answer was a smile full of teeth. Naruto looked at Aniki again; this time Shikamaru stared at him like he had asked the dumbest question. Then it clicked.

"Oh hell no!" The Furball's smile simply grew larger. "No, no, no! The only reason our plan would work is because—"

"I would be stranded here, while you would be gallivanting, at my expense? I think not. See to it that your plans include me, or I promise you I will find another way — at your expense."

"Well, there goes plan K," mumbled Shikamaru. "Never put much stock in that one anyway."

The problem was, plan K was insurance for plan B. This complicated matters. Still, they could rework the plan. Personally, leaving someone else to carry all the scorn and hatred he had to endure for as long as he could remember didn't sit well with him, even it was deserved. It would turn almost anyone bitter.

Thank whoever the fuck was listening for Aniki!

"Fine, we'll think of something – but you'll have to play your part."

"Now that we know about your goals, let me tell you about mine."

Naruto listened. He exchanged a look with his brother and groaned. "I didn't sign up for this shit. All I wanted was some fucking peace. Why are you trying to drag me into your shit?"

The Kyubi chuckled. "Drag you? You're my Jinchuriki; my problem is _your_ problem. My enemies will not look for me... They will look for you."

Naruto blinked. He wanted to say something but Aniki yawned. Time to leave then. "Fine. We'll discuss this after the finals."

"Very well." The next moment Naruto dodged a paw and jumped over a tail.

"What the hell, Furball!?"

"What? I'm getting bored here." he smiled evilly. "There are two of you now; try to make this fun."

"But I brought you a fucking present!"

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Naruto was either unconscious or sleeping. Shikamaru thought of doing the same, but instead he plotted and pondered.

"If I wanted you dead, I would have done so already."

That didn't sound ominous at all. "I know."

"Then sleep, human. Your annoying mumblings are making me restless."

He wondered what had the Kyubi so restless. As for him, he hadn't noticed the Biju was still awake. He wasn't even mumbling, more like humming. Maybe the Kyubi thought he would use his Shadow Virus Jutsu while it was asleep. As tempting as that was, it was a stupid idea and Shikamaru did not do stupid.

Shikamaru's sensitive ear picked up the subtle tells of movement and glanced at where the fox was resting to find him gone. His instincts flared and his eyes trailed upwards to find the Kyubi staring at him intently. He didn't react outwardly, but inside he was trying to restart his heart.

He heard the Fox chuckling and thought that maybe he could do stupid, just this once.

"Why aren't you sleeping then? Is it because you're afraid of my jutsu? Or maybe you don't want to admit that, deep inside, you don't hate us." He heard a low growl and suddenly he felt both the Biju's killing intent and chakra solely focused on him. That's what happened when he did stupid. "Something the matter?"

"Do not insult me, human – I _am_ _hatred_."

Shikamaru blinked. "You know, you've got pretty good focus; even with all of that killing intent, Naruto, the sensor, hasn't woken yet," he noted airily.

The giant fox growled, but moved away after a moment. "You are annoying."

"Yeah, I get that a lot. Can I ask you a question?" He took the fox's grumbling for consent. "What made you want to work with Naruto? That's why you bothered exposing our plan to sell you out, wasn't it?"

The Fox eyed him for a moment before replying. "His foolish naiveté. That foolish human never demanded something that wasn't his. Considering how I nearly killed him twice so far—" _Twice_ …? He and Otouto would have _words_ about that. "Uzumaki has been surprisingly… lenient. By all means, hate should have consumed him. I await eagerly the moment his will breaks and he comes seeking my power."

"Naruto's insight is quite something. He's been suppressing his hatred since very young. He only let out that part of himself during the time he sealed you off."

The Fox eyed Shikamaru shrewdly "How... convenient."

"From what I've heard, you have yourself to blame for the past few years. Besides, Naruto's too much of a naive fool to fall prey to his hatred now. It would take something extreme for that to happen."

"Like your death," the Kyubi whispered casually. Shikamaru barely blinked since it was quite obvious. Inwardly he worried; he didn't trust the Fox at all. After a moment, the Kyubi resumed his musings. "You're the reason I met the brat so early. You taught him meditation."

"You should try it for yourself someday; hate gives you incredible tunnel vision." He heard the Kyubi scoff and added "Tell me, what would have happened if you had run instead of trying to destroy Konoha all those years ago?"

The atmosphere tensed again. "Your point, human?"

"Just one; I don't really care about your plans of revenge – as long as they don't involve Naruto. I trust you about as much as you trust me. I—" he stopped when he heard chuckling. "Did I say something funny?"

"You are very arrogant, human; thinking I must earn your trust. Better yet, you think I _need_ your trust. Do you not yet realize why you are still alive?"

Shikamaru blinked. "Because I'm useful – obviously." The Kyubi fell silent. "I know you want to use Otouto and me for your vengeance. What I'm saying is, your hatred is going to get in the way of your revenge; I won't have to do a thing about it. And that's only if your plans don't put ours in jeopardy." he frowned when he heard more suppressed laughter. "What's so funny this time?"

"You two humans are definitely amusing. I was right not to kill you yet. I look forward to the day you two surmount the odds stacked against you... or fall into despair – either outcome will be quite entertaining."

Shikamaru looked at the resting Biju with hidden dread. He definitely needed a way to deal the chakra monster. And a plan to deal with whoever was going after the Kyubi. A plan to deal with the Chunin Exams, or rather, what would happen during that tournament, couldn't hurt either. At this rate, he'd have to make plans to take on the whole shinobi world.

He sighed as he lay down to sleep. He'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit he looked forward to the challenge, but he hadn't thought the Kyubi would be so cunning. The Biju was clearly bidding his time; for what? Shikamaru did not look forward to finding out. Hopefully Naruto and he could figure out a way to truly subdue the Nine Tails before it deemed them useless. Between that, foreign shinobi invasions, and Konoha being what it was, it was wondering if he'd grow grey hair by his twenties.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **A/N: Hello all! I hope you had a good winter. Updates should start coming regularly (about every month), so look forward to that. As with last chapter, no short story this time, I will add them when I have time. As always, thanks for the reviews! They're truly what keeps me writing. See you!  
**


	15. The Finals

**The** **Yin Yang Twins**

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Disclaimer: Naruto and its universe \ canon are property of Kishimoto… And whoever owns Kishimoto I guess.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **15** **.** **The Chunin Exams** **: The Finals**

 ** _In which Shikamaru starts trouble, for once._**

Shikamaru woke up at a reasonable hour. That was his first clue about how troublesome this day would be. He never woke at a reasonable hour, even for missions – he usually prepared in advance so that he could squeeze out every second of sleep that he could. Surely this day would go down as one of the most troublesome days in his career, if not his life. He showered, dressed, and made sure his gear still worked, before he headed to the kitchen. His father was already there, drinking tea. That was his second clue things were going to go horribly wrong today.

The Nara men looked at each other, figured the other had come to same conclusion, and muttered a curse in perfect synchrony.

"Can't I just go back to sleep?" he wondered out loud.

"If you could do that, I'd be right behind you," his father sighed. "Sometimes, I hate knowing too much." He observed his son. "What have you got?"

"I think it's an invasion, or something on that scale. But I don't know who besides the Village Hidden in the Sound ."

His father nodded. "Thought as much. Watch yourself during those matches, son. They'll probably launch their offensive around the climax."

Shikamaru sighed. "You be careful too, dad. Orochimaru is no joke."

Shikaku snorted. "I'll be far away from that monster if I can help it. Not that it'll change anything; your mother is going to kill us before the day ends."

His mom would be safe here. What ever happened would affect the arena, the hospital, and maybe the Hokage's building. When she did learn about the… something that would happen today, she would have a conniption. He would have to invite Otouto when that happened; if Naruto thought his Aniki was scary, he had never seen an angry Yoshino.

Shikamaru and his father hastily moved out before Yoshino found them. He found a spot where he could nap before the Chunin Exams tournament started and slept there until he could hear the crowd's growing excitement. He looked up and sighed – the weather was perfect for cloud gazing. He sighed, schooled his expression, and jumped from the roof of the small warehouse he was on. Landing in front of his destination, he walked through the main gate of the arena with his hands in his pockets.

With a look, he could tell that the terrain favored earth jutsu and wind jutsu users, that the trees had more decorative than strategic value, and that whoever was fighting Gaara was going to be in trouble. His musings stopped once his eye settled on the other Chunin candidates. Uchiha was missing, and he was certain Dosu would not make an appearance during the finals.

Shikamaru made a effort to stop his eye from twitching.

The same coughing proctor from before came to face the contestants.

"Kinata Dosu has forfeited, therefore Temari and Uzumaki will face each other in match 4. After the announcement… Uzumaki, where is your teammate?"

"Left to train with Kakashi."

He heard the young man mumble "This'll go well…" between coughs and Shikamaru had to snort in agreement.

"At any rate, once the announcement is over, the participants of match number 2 should remain while the others exit the arena. Make sure to remain in the vicinity; if you do not come forward once you are called, you will be disqualified."

They remained relaxed as the Hokage moved from his seat, and greeted everyone. Once the man sat down, Shikamaru and Naruto headed to the viewers stands where the rest of Team Ten was waiting for them.

Not one minute after they arrived they heard Gekkyo's voice. "The match between Uchiha Sasuke and Aburame Shino has been moved. Next match will be between Gaara and Kankuro."

"I forfeit the match."

Shikamaru frowned. He could hear the crowd's disapproval loud and clear. He had hoped he could fight Hinata in a simple and efficient manner, like he had done for her cousin. Oh well, it's not like he cared much for the audience. He sighed loudly and saw Otouto shiver.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm so fucking glad I'm not fighting you right now."

Shikamaru tried to understand the meaning of Naruto's answer, but decided to let it go once he heard the announcement for the next fight.

"Seeing Kankuro has declared forfeit, the next match between Nara Shikamaru and Hyuga Hinata will begin shortly."

With another audible sigh, Shikamaru walked towards the arena, accompanied by the jeers of the viewers. He turned at the end of a hallway to see an idiotic shinobi trying to intimidate Gaara and pay for his foolishness in a horrible fashion. Seeing he had no choice but to pass through here, he walked on, ignoring the red-haired psycho until he had to dodge the sand he had passed moments before. He leaned back and jumped backwards to evade two more attacks before he opened his mouth.

"Our match will come shortly; can't you wait until we fight to try and kill me? At least then you won't be disqualified."

"Not worth my time. I need more… to prove my existence."

Shikamaru carefully took step back. That kid wasn't talking to him just now. So Gaara was no psycho; he was just plain mad. Somehow dealing with a crazy Jinchuriki from the sand, while Konoha was dealing with an invasion featuring Jonin spies posing as Konoha doctors and former war heroes was… The Worst Case Scenario.

Did they know that Gaara was a Jinchuriki? That kind of information was usually well guarded from other shinobi villages; case in point – Naruto. He'd have to relay the message to his dad somehow.

In the mean time, Gaara was still muttering to himself. Shikamaru decided to leave before the guy acted on his murderous impulses. He almost power walked to the exit. Outside, Hinata, the proctor, and the angry audience waited. He had trouble deciding which of the three he was finding the least troublesome. It almost made want to go face Gaara instead – at least there were no political nuances about justified self-defense.

In the end he walked towards the proctor. "Any way I can be promoted based on my actions during the preliminaries?" The proctor gave him a look before coughing. A Genin could try, right? "Does the crowd affect my chances at promotion?"

Hayate coughed again. "I'd like to say no, but if the Daimyo or our more influential clients are impressed, you're pretty much guaranteed to become Chunin."

Shikamaru sighed. This only reinforced his views; fighting, crowds, and the shinobi system in particular, were a major pain in the ass. Unfortunately, he'd have to convince the right people if he wanted to further his goals. And, he had to do so without severely harming Hinata, since there was the maybe-invasion to think about.

He let out a deep sigh. "…Right. I guess I'll have to show off a bit, then." He eyed Hinata, who glared back. "You're going to go deaf, then blind, and after that, I'm going to end this fight by stopping you with the Shadow Cocoon Jutsu, before putting a knife at your throat." Both the proctor and Hinata blinked; surprised he had boldly announced his strategy.

"I will prevent you from doing that. I also won't fall for your tricks, like my cousin did."

"Match start!"

Shikamaru and his opponent jumped back. He jumped again when his senbon were deflected by precise kunai throws, giving Hinata enough time to activate her Byakugan. He took out a grenade but another kunai triggered the explosion before it could reach her.

"I already told you I wouldn't fall for your tricks, Nara."

Inwardly, he acknowledged that she did learn from Neji's mistakes. While that was good for Hinata, this pattern had no part in his actual plan to win the fight.

Hinata rapidly closed the distance, bursting through the smoke and flames. Shikamaru quickly jumped back clumsily dropping the grenade he was about to throw, but Hinata thoroughly kicked it away as she reached her target.

"You're within striking range," she announced triumphantly. Shikamaru showed no surprise, only intense concentration. As Hinata's hands aimed for his chest, he made a single hand seal and disappeared, replaced by a glowing grenade. The setup was so precise that the Hyuga didn't have time to blink before the grenade exploded in intense light and deafening noise.

Meanwhile, Shikamaru used this time to cast a genjutsu and sighed. He had won already. Hopefully he wouldn't make an enemy out of the Hyuga clan once this was over.

"If you still haven't noticed, you are deaf at the moment." Hinata faced him wide-eyed. Before he could explain more she aimed for his vitals again, but missed spectacularly. In fact, she nearly tripped. Shikamaru went through more hand seals. "Right, I forgot to mention you might lose your sense of balance with your hearing. Anyway, you remember what comes next, right?"

As he spoke, Shikamaru molded chakra as he went through the last hand seal. "Magen: [Demonic Illusion: Light stealer]". It looked like nothing happened, but he could see the panic beneath Hinata's Byakugan. He took one of his Shadow ball and threw it at her just as she was trying to dispel the genjutsu. Hinata fell to the side, barely trying to struggle. All that remained was to sit on her and put a kunai at her throat. She stilled once the metal touched her skin. After a few moments, she pronounced clearly, "I give up."

Shikamaru gave the proctor a look.

"The winner of match 4 between Nara Shikamaru and Hyuga Hinata is Nara Shikamaru."

"No _sense_ in delaying the inevitable. I guess I'll _see_ my way out." Two, _two_ of his awesome one-liners were met with absolute silence. Damn it, he had worked hard on those puns; almost as hard as on this whole setup. With a sigh he started walking back to his spot near Team Ten. Maybe Choji could critique his humor. He would have asked Otouto, but his match was next. Was it the delivery, or maybe the tone?

He was still musing on the reaction of the viewers – or lack thereof; maybe the match was too short – when Naruto nearly tackled him. "I was right; I really don't want to fight you when you're annoyed. By the way, that was an awesome match, Aniki."

"Tell that to the audience," he mumbled back. His hand ruffled Otouto's hair on instinct, and he noticeably relaxed.

The blond slapped his hand away. "That's just because they don't understand what happened. The shinobi probably do, and they're probably surprised that the match ended so fast or maybe that you bested a Hyuga without using the Nara clan jutsu. Or, maybe because you can blind a Hyuga with genjutsu."

He _had_ put on quite a show for those with a trained eye. He went through what Naruto just said again and frowned. "You really think the match was settled too fast?"

"Yes!" Shikamaru sighed when he heard the female voice. Somebody was angry. "You didn't give me enough time to land a single blow!"

He frowned in confusion as he faced Hinata. "Was I supposed to _let_ you hit me?"

"I… N-no, I-I mean, you could have given me the opportunity to show what I'm capable of."

"I suppose I could have," he admitted, "But entertaining an audience is troublesome. Besides, if I managed to stop you with a flash bomb and some Genjutsu, there's nothing that you could have shown that would grant you a promotion."

Hinata's mouth moved for a second, before she turned towards Naruto. "N-Naruto-kun…" she complained while pointing at Shikamaru. Only to realize Otouto was failing to hide his laughter. "Y-you're b-both being m-meanies!" she declared with a pout, and with all the poise of the Hyuga, Hinata walked away.

Naruto chuckled, before he faced his brother. "Are you going to explain to her?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "Why she lost? Only if she asks – I can't be bothered to help everyone all the time. Speaking of Hinata, do _you_ know why she lost?"

Naruto made a face. "Seriously? I'm about to fight and you're giving me fucking homework?" Shikamaru only raised an eyebrow in response. "Is there a point to this question?"

Shikamaru stared at his little brother seriously. "Just one; I fought her seriously back there."

Naruto blinked. "Huh, but you didn't… Oh! Oooh, right. Gotcha! I'll do my best too!"

Shikamaru hoped he did. He didn't want to tip their enemies too much about all of their abilities. Naruto fought Orochimaru before; surely they had plenty of info on him already. He only had to hope the Snake Sannin wasn't the sharing type.

"Oh, and Naruto? I know you wanted to experiment with your wind jutsu, but be extremely careful. You have to think about the rest of the tournament, after all."

Naruto smiled warmly. "Of course, Aniki! I'll be careful and kick lots of asses! See you!"

Shikamaru watched his little brother go with a bit of apprehension, before he resumed his walk. Now he had to warn his dad about the Sand Jinchuriki and somehow watch Otouto's match at the same time.

Nothing had happened yet, and still he felt the day was going to be a long one.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

Naruto was pumped. Shikamaru's match had been awesome. Boring, yes; he kept telling Aniki that he needed to add some flair, some flashiness when he fought. Unfortunately, Shikamaru never fought – well… more like he found struggle to be troublesome. That's how scary the guy was. Seriously, Hinata saw nothing coming and lost the moment that flash grenade went off. The ensuing genjutsu and binding process was so precise, so efficient, that one might as well call him a machine. It was like Aniki was one of those fucking cheap fighters in video games, with an infinite combo or something. He knew every shinobi had their own nindo and all that, but Shikamaru was something else.

He won against Hinata with a flash grenade and genjutsu. He won against _Neji_ with a grenade and fucking _sunglasses_! Because yeah, Aniki told him sunglasses had been the _most important_ part of the strategy. If he didn't push Shikamaru to use his strings or his bow when they fought, he'd count it as a personal loss.

At any rate, Naruto shook his head and grinned at his opponent. She frowned.

"What's so funny, pipsqueak?"

He ignored the insult; he was as tall as the other boys in his age group and still waited for his growth spurt, thank you fucking much! "You're a wind jutsu user right? And you think you're some hot shit too. I'm going to enjoying wiping the floor with you at your own fucking game."

It was Temari's turn to smirk "Just because you beat some bushy-eyed freak, doesn't mean you're ready for the big leagues, pipsqueak."

Naruto's grin didn't waver. He really was going to enjoy this. "Call the match, sick proctor-sempai."

The young man glared at him, before shouting for the match to begin. While the Suna kunoichi jumped back, Naruto dashed forward. The girl's eyes widened for a moment, before she took out her giant war fan and aimed to crush Naruto with an overhand smash. Naruto saw her move like it was fucking slow-motion – he'd have to thank Sanosuke for that. He stopped the momentum of the swing with a double roundhouse kick aimed at the base of the weapon, and finished with a jumping spinning hook kick. The metal fan flew out of Temari's hands and landed a few meters behind her.

Naruto snorted. "You really shouldn't make fun of Rock Lee if you can't even handle my Taijutsu." And to add insult to injury, he waited for her to fetch her weapon and try again.

Temari sneered as she picked up her weapon. "I'm going to going to make you suffer." She tried to open her fan, but it was stuck; Naruto's last kick had bent the metal weapon in a way that she couldn't open it anymore. Naruto sincerely wished that it wasn't her only fan, because then this match was pretty much over. Fortunately, the pig-tailed kunoichi took out a weapon scroll and unsealed a second war fan. He was pretty sure she would take him seriously from now on.

Naruto crossed his arms and taped his foot. "Normally, I would have taken the time to beat the shit out of you, but I really want crush your spirit, so do your worst, weakling."

The blond had to admit, he was laying it a bit thick here, but he could see the tick marks on Temari's face. He wasn't pushing her into losing control; just enough to get her blood pumping and attack with excessive force. She did that a moment later, and that's when he started to center himself and mold some wind chakra. He rolled out of the way of a few cutting whirlwinds, and started running circles around his opponent. He managed to jump over a cutting wind before diving under a whirlwind, and then jumped away from a localized tornado. It took some more dodging, but finally he was able to turn his wind chakra into wind.

That was the essence of his jutsu; manipulating wind instead of wind chakra. Aniki had him tested for his element in his second year at the Academy and he had tried to master wind chakra recomposition ever since. In the first two years, he had never managed to recompose wind chakra properly; he could do it from inside, but he could never draw it out like he could for regular chakra. All that happened was that wind got out. He actually managed to use wind element chakra last year. Meanwhile, he had tried to find something useful about the wind he created and found out he could sense it at first, and then manipulate it is he focused enough. It was odd how his failure to master elemental chakra recomposition had turn into such a versatile and powerful Jutsu.

Now it was time to put that jutsu to the ultimate test – and see how it could fare against another wind jutsu user.

"[Cutting Whirlwind]!"

Naruto did not move immediately this time he let the jutsu graze him, feeling the difference between his and her wind. He could feel the wind type chakra in her attack, in fact the jutsu had so much chakra he wondered if it wasn't the wind that was guiding her chakra. He frowned as the Jutsu managed to rip the sleeve of his jacket, leaving small cuts on his arm. He had managed to reduce the damage tremendously, but he had failed to stop the attack entirely. The jutsu passed too fast; he needed more time.

"Is that all you got? Shit, I barely felt that! Maybe I should stand still, make it easier for you. Or maybe I should end the fight already if this is all you got." He said it in way to mean he looked down on all of Suna, not just her.

"Maybe I really should kill you," she sneered. She waived her fan in complicated patterns and multiple gusts of winds darted in every direction. Naruto moved as he had before, but this time he could see that the seemingly random wind attacks were actually cornering him against the arena wall. To his left and right, he could see to huge tornadoes that would surely rip him to shreds if he made a stupid move.

"Any last words, pipsqueak?"

Naruto returned her cruel smile two-folds. "Do your worst, bitch!"

Temari answered by violently waving he weapon. The next attack looked like the tornado that she used during the preliminaries.

"Sora no Tetsu!"

Naruto could feel the power behind Temari's attack, even from behind his shield made of air; that's exactly what he wanted. Now this was much better! He could tell how the wind chakra concentration spiked at certain intervals from his sensor ability - those were the parts of the attack where the wind cut. It also changed the wind itself – that's why it was so fucking hard to do anything to Temari's attacks. That's how wind justu shinobi used their element.

Huh.

"I'm pretty sure your wind barrier doesn't protect you on all sides."

Temari waved her fan again. The two small tornadoes at his side were attempting to crush him while Temari was sending wave after wave of wind attacks to pin him there. Of course, there was the fucking wall behind him. Right – do or die, then. The least that could happen was him dying. If he somehow lost this fight and survived, Sanosuke and the Kyubi would mock him until the day he keeled over, and Shikamaru would make him wish he was dead at least once a day for the rest of his life. No problem – he always excelled under pressure anyway.

Back to trying to figure out become a fucking wind deity.

Well, he could still control his wind anyway. Maybe there was a clue in that and… hello… What the fucking hell was that!? How had he never even noticed before? That explained… a lot of shit, if he was honest. Well shit! Aniki was right about his 'understanding your jutsu' bullshit. Now, he'd never hear the end of it. At least he knew what to do about his challenge now – simply insert his wind like so, put some chakra into—

There we go. Naruto felt it – the moment Temari's wind suddenly shifted and fell under his control. His chakra had replaced hers, and since he had no fucking clue how to sustain her attacks they simply stopped. Temari's face was fucking priceless.

"What!? What the hell did you do?"

He grinned evilly. "What does it look like, pigtails? I'm just fucking awesome! Or maybe you just suck." He watched as she tried to send another whirlwind at him. He could feel it coming from further away now since absorbing Temari's wind attacks. He repeated the process, this time much faster, and the wind died down before it reached him. While it was fun seeing Temari's dumbfounded face, it was time to end this before she got her bearings back and tried to attack with a fire jutsu or something.

"Here's what a wind attack should be like." Naruto ran. He had crossed half the distance before he jumped, with a triple summersault and aimed an axe kick at Temari.

"Bokun no assei [Tyrant's Pressure]!"

There was no warning. One moment, Naruto's foot had missed Temari by a mile; the next, there was a twenty meter wide crater, with the same foot at the center. The Sand kunoichi was unconscious on the ground nearby. Meanwhile Naruto was completely unaffected and looked at the results of his jutsu with satisfaction. There was no way around it; he was just that fucking awesome. He looked towards Temari and hid a smile. That last attack had probably broken a couple of bones.

Good.

Aniki had told him to be extremely careful, which of course meant he had to attack with extreme prejudice – he was ready to bet his savings that Suna would be involved in today's… whatever the fuck it was supposed to be. Just look at Gaara; that fucked up kid was a time bomb.

"Temari of the Sand is unable to fight; the winner of match 5 is Uzumaki Naruto."

"Hell Yeah!"

Naruto cheered and the crowd roared with approval. What a bunch of fucking hypocrites. Besides his friends, none of these assholes gave a shit about him. In fact they reveled in making his life as miserable as possible. Meanwhile, Choji and Ino were cheering for him, and so was Hinata, reminding him that at least a few people in Konoha acknowledged him. This only served to remind him how much he owed Aniki. Speaking of which, he could see the boy looking at the audience with a thoughtful frown. Something was up.

No matter. His blood was pumping. He and Aniki were having a fight soon, and that got him excited.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

His Otouto was so great! No wonder people wanted him to be Hokage; he had the potential, the charisma, and above all that the heart to become Konoha's greatest leader

It was a pity that Konoha didn't deserve him.

On the other hand, Shikamaru, under that nonchalance and second layer of hidden fanboyism, was about ready to strangle the foolishness out of his troublesome trouble of a troubling little brother. Why did that blond need fight Temari like that? He had already shown he could beat her with his taijutsu – no need to goad her into those last attacks. So much could have gone wrong. Was that how a parent felt when his child pulled a reckless stunt? If so, he didn't understand how parents could let their children attend the shinobi academy. He didn't know how normal parents coped with the worry. His first thought was to beat the foolishness out of his troublesome brother, but that sounded really counterproductive – if not a bit hypocritical.

"So, Aniki... did you enjoy my show?"

Otouto's timid tone made it hard to stay upset. On top of that, he felt that now was not the time to upset Naruto.

"Shikamaru."

Troublesome. He knew that tone; Naruto was already upset. That fool was upset because he knew Shikamaru was as well.

"Another time. The tournament isn't over yet; you should focus on that instead."

"No. Everybody else thought I was awesome, and you're fucking pissed. I want to know why."

Shikamaru's eyebrow twitched. He noticed and pinched the bridge of his nose to regain some composure.

"That's too bad, because I'm not changing my mind. You can keep on sulking if you want; if you're distracted like that, Gaara is going to kick your ass."

"I'm fighting _you_ in the finals." Naruto's remark was innocent enough, but his stare was so chilling that the people nearby flinched.

Shikmaru sighed. He was going to get his brother killed at this rate. "…You're not in the state of mind to fight me right now."

Naruto's eyes went through three or four emotions before he closed them. "Alright. I'll focus on the tournament," in a tone that promised hell later.

Shikamaru nodded to what Naruto said, and what he hadn't. He turned back to the arena and he frowned. "When did Uchiha come back?" Not only that, he was currently fighting against Aburame. At his question, Naruto rushed to the rails and cussed.

"What the fuck!? He wasn't even on time and he still gets to fight? What fucking bullshit!"

Shikamaru's question remained unanswered, to the point that he had no idea when the fight even started. It must have been for a while at least, because a couple of smoke bombs and fireballs later, Uchiha had the bug user at his mercy.

"Aburame Shino is unable to fight; the winner of match 3 is Uchiha Sasuke. Considering the order of the first matches, we will continue with match 7; Nara Shikamaru vs. Gaara of the Sand."

Of course it would be his turn next. Uchiha wouldn't get his beauty sleep otherwise. If Konoha wanted to pamper their little prodigy, might as well go all the way, right?

"What did you do?" startled out of his thoughts, Shikamaru gave his Otouto a confused look. "Sasuke doesn't use smoke bombs – ever."

"Have you ever thought this might have to do with Uchiha's training? Anyway, I'll see you later."

That said he waited for his teammates to wish him luck, before he set out to face the most dangerous Genin he had ever met. At least this time Gaara would be within his rights to brutally kill him. Shikamaru chuckled to himself and reviewed his strategy against the Jinchuriki. Unlike most opponents, he only had a few plans that he thought would work. Unfortunately most of those plans relied on the use of his bow. So far, he had managed to limit his use of the weapon in such a way that only Naruto, Ino, and maybe Mitarashi knew about it. He definitely did not need people to get ideas about long distance weapons and lightning chakra. That left his shadow techniques, his grenades, Genjutsu, and poison.

That was some challenge.

"Nara Shikamaru vs. Sabaku no Gaara – begin!"

Shikamaru jumped back and immediately rolled to his left to dodge the wave of sand. He didn't bother wasting his time with simple kunai, and instead threw one with an exploding tag. The paper exploded before the sand could smoother it completely. Gaara slid back a meter or two, but was otherwise unarmed.

The red-haired teen did frown, though. "You are an annoying insect. Mother won't enjoy your blood, but I will enjoy spilling it."

Well, that certainly was the beginning of a fruitful and everlasting friendship. Naruto will be jealous. Coughing to hide a snort, he tried a second shot, with three tagged kunai. This time, Gaara responded with denser, but slower sand, and the explosions were completely nullified. In other words, the sand traded speed for power. Shikamaru pondered on that as he evaded Gaara's deadly sand attacks. Another thing to note was that the sand was less precise, the farther he was from Gaara. Not enough to actually make a difference, but it was interesting. He threw some kunai in a very high arc and noticed that the sand still defended Gaara while the boy attacked. Well he probably enough information to wo— he twisted his body while kneeling and barely missed the sand spear coming from behind. That was close; his only warning had come from his ears. It was no easy feat to hear grains of sand in the midst of all that chaos.

Shikamaru jumped from his kneeling position, and jumped again to the side. He ducked, rolled and jumped over several whips of sand. He skidded to a halt and disappeared before two waves of sand crashed into one another. A few more meters away from the sand using shinobi, Shikamaru appeared to lob more tagged kunai over Gaara. His opponent instantly surrounded himself with sand. The tags went off, obscuring the arena in a mix of fire, smoke and sand. Shikamaru took advantage of moment of safety to make some clones and dash into the smokescreen.

When the arena cleared, half a dozen Shikamarus surrounded Gaara. "You're keeping me from worthier foes, insect. Mother needs blood, and I need to prove my existence."

Shikamaru blinked. "Maybe you should focus on defeating him first; or the results may shock you."

Before Gaara could retort, a blinding flash followed by thunderclap hushed the audience. Shikamaru uncovered his ears and slowly opened his eyes. The Genin he had been talking to turned to sand, while the real Gaara struggled to rise not far from his sand clone, glaring at him with ferocity.

"Careful now; the tide of a battle can turn in a flash."

The Jinchuriki tried to stand, but Shikamaru wasn't one to let his opponent any kind of opportunity. He walked towards Gaara while the boy was still struggling to get himself off the ground. If he hadn't known about the demon inside the boy, the young Nara would have been surprised Gaara was even conscious. As it was, he found Naruto the more resilient of the two; both Jinchuriki had incredible defenses, but Otouto could actually take some hits.

"You... What have you done to mother? Why isn't she protecting me?"

Shikamaru patted the red-haired boy on the head. "From whom? Me? Don't be ridiculous; I'm harmless." It was the first time Shikamaru found something other than apathy, anger, or murderous glee on Gaara's face. Was it shock or fear? "I'm just going to drop this gas bomb here and walk away," he added, to the other boy's growing horror.

Seconds later, you could hear the sound of air exhaling from the grenade, but the dubious looking smoke was nowhere to be found. Still, the teen from Suna eventually stopped struggling and closed his eyes.

Shikamaru waited. The proctor looked at the sleeping boy before he coughed.

"Sabaku no Gaara is unable to fight; the winner of match 7—"

His announcement was drowned in Biju chakra mixed with killing intent. Shikamaru shivered, before turning towards Sand's Jinchuriki. It never occurred to him that sleep could trigger Gaara's transformation. Just then, he felt a wave of drowsiness and immediately made the hand seal to cancel Genjutsu and groaned. Gaara was to be the trigger for whatever was supposed to happen, wasn't he?

He was.

Shikamaru had just kick-started an invasion.

"Troublesome."

Naruto was never going to let him live this down.

 ** _/-/ /-/ /-/_**

 **A/N: Hey all! I wish you all a happy summer. Still no OMAKE, I'm afraid. I guess they'll be on a chapter by chapter basis for a while. Still, of you want me to had something to the author notes, feel free to let me know.**

 **In the mean time, I'll answer some of your reviews.**

 **About Kurama; Yes, he's jerk; he has been a prisoner / scorned / brainwahsed for a while though; I'd be a jerk to given the circumstances. As for his relationship with out Twins... well, that would be spoiling, wouldn't it? And yes, he is very smart, but also emotionally stunted.**

 **About Jiraiya; believe it or not, Jiraiya is one of my favorite Naruto characters, and I always thought it was a shame he died since everybondy else _just couldn't die._ Anyway, Naruto'll get over it... I think.  
**

 **About Shadow and Wind: still in block, I'm afraid. I'll update when I can, promise.**

 **And with that, See you around**


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